Reviews from

in the past


My childhood and adolescence was marked by what various "phases" of intense, powerful almost obsessional interest in something and then having that something be replaced by something else. Oftentimes these phases overlapped--like how my Star Wars phase lasted from about 1991 up until I sat staring slack-jawed in disappointment at The Force Awakens

The Aliens and Predator phase began after my dad had on the first Predator movie when I was probably 6 or 7 (we weren't a family where my parents were remotely concerned about what my sister and I watched or were exposed to, it all was more or less fair game apparently)

Once I saw the gadgetry and how cool the Predator was, I was all in. At that point in the early-mid 90s, there had been AVP comics for ages already, and the early internet about the two were inexorably tied up together, so it didn't take me long to watch the Alien movies either (shoutouts to my grandpa--WHO HAD HBO gasp--who taped the Aliens director cut so I got to act all cool on the Newsgroups describing the sentry gun scenes).

It was in the midst of all of that fanaticism that I came to know about this game. It was all over game magazines, just like ads for the Jaguar were in general. I was 8 in 1994 and I read every single video game magazine I could get my hands on, and I was obsessed with the idea of it. But there was no way in hell my folks would buy a Jaguar--I had my Mega CD and I was happy with it anyhow.

It became kind of a white whale for me for a while, but emulation was never good enough throughout my tween and teen years, and then it fell off my radar...until like a few weeks ago. I thought "wait, I can probably just play that now huh?"

Turns out yep!

I gotta say I had a blast! I would have gotten wildly lost all the time if not for maps, but I had a lot of fun. And honestly if my child self had been able to play this it would have been all she did for like a year. Apart from the X-Com and TIE Fighter I don't think a game would have been so formative. What I'm saying is I think if I had had a Jaguar and this game in 1994 I would've turned into an FPS head probably

Ok some random thoughts I wrote down while I was playing--these are mostly Marine campaign notes but like, they apply across the board

- Incredibly how long games that don't and didn't ever need a score number kept keeping track of some arbitrary score

- I deeply love that there's just one single corpse style for aliens and you can like, stack them on top of one another

- If you kill an alien inside the elevator it disappears on the next floor loading

- The key that I'm sure the folks in 1994 probably figured out is you can kite the aliens around and not kill all of them. I haven't read contemporaneous reviews of this yet but you will have SEVERE ammo issues as the Marine if you kill every alien

- I love that there's a room FULL of exploding barrels because it tells me that someone on the team thought, "hey we should do this because of the time in Aliens where they said they couldn't shoot their guns"

- Gosh the textures in the Predator ship are some Win 95 maze screensaver stuff

- The Smart Gun is genuinely hilariously powerful. Gotta be up there for lowest fuss-to-highest-killing-power FPS gun right?

- Gotta love a game that has a section of this ostensibly real human space complex called 'The Training Maze'. Impeccable. No notes.

why do they look like they're gonna kiss on the title screen

Jank, slow, trash and unimpressive. Welcome to Atari.

I played this game when it came out on a friend’s Jaguar (he had a history of picking bad consoles). It was one of the few worthwhile games on the system.
I never finished it, as my friend got rid of his Jaguar before then buying a Saturn.
He knew how to pick ‘em.
He ended up giving me the Saturn when none of the trade-in places would take it and no one he knew wanted it lol
Good times, good times.
But the Jaguar AvP is challenging and fun.
In some ways, it’s better than the later AvP shooter from 1999. Which actually uses ideas that came up for a possible Jaguar sequel lol

Finally, after 27 unsuccessful experiments, I have finally transformed a pit bull into a predator using the wonders of modern man. Fully equipped with heat scanning eyes, shoulder canon, invisibility, and mandibles, my 100 pound murder dog can finally ravage those pesky toddlers...

Highly overrated. The biggest seller of the Jaguar's line and its 'killer app' which frankly tells you all you need to know about history's most shat upon console. A few decades later you can eek a few more pixels of enjoyment out of it via emulation, allowing you to upscale and increase the fps some.
It just goes to show though that if you strip away the license, all you're left with is a poor consolised Doom-clone. There's nothing to do beyond jerk around the identical-looking levels, searching for keys and shooting the occasional enemy. The main attraction then is the chance to play as the titular Alien or Predator, each with their own abilities and problems. This alone grants it the three star rating, as the cloaking and honour system for the Predator, and incubation respawning life mechanic for the Xenomorph are unique and peverse enough to give you some fairly decent replay value.

The franchise was done far better a few years down the line with Rebellion's second attempt on the PC and its exemplary sequel. So perhaps aim a little higher and play those instead.

Probably the best pre-DOOM, WOLFENSTEIN 3-D-like anyone ever made, prefiguring games like ... what's that? This came out in 1994? Same month as DOOM II? Oh. Well ... okay.

Anyway, yeah, it's ... primitive, but it's damn good! Takes the very simple grid-based, flat-planes-and-doors FPS framework and does about as much as you possibly can with it, essentially making what might be better classified as a survival horror game. That's in Marine mode, at least. The other two playable races both have distinct mechanics that give very different rhythms to their campaigns - the Alien must use a risky special move on living Marines to cocoon them and earn themselves extra lives/spawn points to eventually wear down the humans with overwhelming numbers (appropriate), and the Predator can run around invisible but must kill uncloaked to earn honor points and unlock the weapons they'll need to take on bigger game. I don't think either is as compelling as the human campaign (which is just a well-structured, surprisingly open FPS world map with a well-designed flow of objectives and areas) but they make for nice add-ons.

The lo-fi look and feel (no music! just ambience!) works great for the subject matter. Despite this thing's limitations and playing it on my laptop in the middle of the day, I couldn't help but find myself riveted and little creeped out. I honestly kind of want to buy a Jaguar now, just to play this on hardware.

There is a definite Cool factor in Alien vs Predator for the Atari Jaguar. Playing as a Xenomorph, a Predator, or a Colonial Marine in brooding atmospheres that really set the tone.

Unfortunately the gameplay really isn't anything particularly unique despite the character options - and the most boring sounding (Marine) is the one that seems to offer my favorite gameplay.