Yeah, it’s bad.
Although I did have some fun for what it was worth, I couldn’t 100% complete a level early on because an item I needed to collect didn’t appear. I would leave the level and return. I tried restarting the game, restarting the console, redownloading the game.
Nothing.
I contacted Square Enix’s support line and they told me that it might be the SD card the game was downloaded to and to download the game directly to the switch’s internal memory.
Sure, Square. Sure.

i was gifted this game as a joke from a friend and after finishing a game i immediately picked this up because it was sitting in my library and on my backlog and i was like "hey i watched youtubers played this. it's a short game, so what could be so bad about it?" so, as a bit, i started this game up. the first 5 minutes of gameplay were questionable. i beat the first world. replayed the 2nd act of the first then unlocked the next one. after half progression in the first level of the next world i realized something: why am i wasting hours of my time playing this? humans have limited time on earth, and those 14 hours of the main game you could be spending your life on some better game. some people need stimulation from video games. this game isn't stimulating to play alone--it is torture. with no one to joke about this game constantly those first 5 minutes of gameplay make you want to kill yourself because you can be playing the best game of your life instead of Yuji Naka's last legacy. well, at least playing this game for 1 hour made him happy in his cell i guess. hope that insider trading shit was worth it.

haters: he will never make a 50 metascore game
yuji naka: hold my sake
no one:
absolutely no one:
Tokyo Financial Instruments and Exchange Act of 2006: この法律は、企業内容等の開示の制度を整備するとともに、金融商品取引業を行う者に関し必要な事項を定め、金融商品取引所の適切な運営を確保すること等により、有価証券の発行及び金融商品等の取引等を公正にし、有価証券の流通を円滑にするほか、資本市場の機能の十全な発揮による金融商品等の公正な価格形成等を図り、もつて国民経済の健全な発展及び投資者の保護に資することを目的とする。

I really tried to give it the benefit of the doubt, but this is the videogame equivalent of trying to put the same poles of two magnets together. It resists. It resists the temptation to be a cohesive, entertaining platform game. I got this 2, maybe 3 years ago when it was almost instantly reduced to a tenner.

I play a few levels, it gets shelved. Every now and again, I try again, and I bounce of it. I decided to really go for it this week. I'd only unlocked the first 3 worlds previously, but now, after persevering, I got all the way to beating the boss of world 9. And that's all the will power I had. I'd nothing left in me to try and soldier on. The fleeting moments of enjoyment heavily being outweighed by so many terrible moments in the game. And overall bad design.

If I didn't know who made this (coincidence that criminal proceedings only came about after the release of this, eh?), I'd have assumed it was someone's first go at making a game. Like they've heard what sonic adventure and mario 64 was like and tried to draw it from memory or something. The central idea is there, but execution is as incompetent and clumsy as an elephant at a type writer.

The things I enjoy about platforming - exploring, jumping on baddies, colourful and varied worlds to play through. Balan Wonderworld has all of these, but in the most restricted way possible. It almost feels like a free to play game where the entertainment is locked behind microtransactions. Only you pay with your time. You are given several costumes throughout the game, each with its own unique ability. If that ability isn't jumping, your feet are planted firmly on the ground. And that's a big no no for a platform game. Each world has its own specific set of costumes, so if the ability doesn't work with what you need to do, you have to get further through the game, find that costume and then go back to the level that required that ability.

Normally, not a problem. Played plenty of games like that. However, you're talking a good 30+ different abilities and costumes. Couple that with abysmally slow game play and terribly bland baddies, it makes everything a real chore. Like wading through treacle.

There's also a mini game called balans bout, where you have to push the button (the single button you use in this game that isn't directional) when prompted, and if you miss a single one, you've fucked it and don't get the statue (this games version of stars or shines like in the Mario games). Collecting all the statues is the overall goal and it's a fucking chore. I gave up when I got to 70ish. I need 80 to unlock the next set of levels, but fuck it. I don't say this about many games I play, and I really did try to stick with this one, but life's too short for this kind of dog shit.

On top of all that, the vibe is just weird. The levels are full of dancing NPC's that phase out of existence if you get near them, the characters you help in each world have some really weird stories (but the fmvs are well designed, I think I gave this an extra half star because of that), and there's always some weird dance routine play after you beat each boss. Reminds me of Nights into Dreams, but without the good bits (the flying guy).

This games been around long enough now to for people to know that it isn't good, but for a platform game, by the sonic the hedgehog guy no less, to be this fucking abysmal really must've taken a lot of yes men and a terrible QA team. I've played better shovelware than this.

I generally avoid playing bad games, but I actually had the displeasure of completing this one.

The first problem you will encounter is that every button does the same thing. You'll put on a suit and you'll realize that you can only do one thing with each costume, and that a lot of the suits do the same thing. Some of these costumes could have easily been mixed together to have multiple actions or have an upgrade path instead. That isn't even the worst part of the game.

The worst part is easily the dumbass Balan Bouts where you watch a cutscene and press a button at the correct time in succession. These are required to get all the collectables in the game and if you miss the perfect timing window even once, you have to complete the level and try again. Actually, I'm pretty sure you have to beat the boss to reset the chapter in order to do it again. There are 48 of these painful events in the game and you will find that you would rather go out and lay in the street than do one of those again.

This might be the worst game I have ever played and the only way I can recommend that someone even touch this game is if it is available for free, whether it is given to you by a poor soul who wanted to rid themselves of such a burden or available through a subscription like Game Pass/PS Plus. This game was $60 at launch and thankfully someone at Square Enix had a brain and decided to permanently lower it to $40. That is still way too much and they should be ashamed for asking for any amount of money for this. Do everyone a favor and make it free permanently so that people can play it for five minutes or challenge themselves to 100% it.

This game shows why perception and making the appeal very clear to people is important. If you play this game how it presents itself, it straight up sucks. Everything people say about it is true in that regard. It's like the devs were in a competition with themselves to create the most comically worthless powerups imagineable.

BUT what people fail to realize...(And I'm not saying it's their fault) there IS a method to the madness. You not only unlock multiple worlds at once but you don't even have to play the 2 levels in those worlds in order. Giving you the freedom to go to a later level, and come back to an earlier one with a much more powerful powerup. One that you wouldn't have if you simply played the game like a normal human being, going through the stages in order. This turns the game from being a parody of the collectathon platformer genre, to being the most faithful return to form the genre's seen in ages. At its best I genuinely consider this a better spiritual successor to Banjo-Kazooie than Yooka-Laylee was.

I go to Chapter 6 Level 2, get the suit that lets you travel really far distances. Then I go do Chapter 2 Level 2, which has a powerup that allows you to double jump. This is hidden in a spot you would not be able to reach without a costume from a later chapter. The double jump is so incredibly powerful at this point in the game it opens up SO MUCH. And by this point playing like this, the whole game clicks. You have so much freedom the levels become open ended platforming playgrounds. Trying to find any golden statues you can to unlock the next batch of levels. I also think a lot of people didn't realize you keep a collection of all your costumes to switch into at every checkpoint. You're not just limited to the ones it gives you in that level. The game's pretty bad at explaining anything that could expose how genuinely fun it can be.

In my first playthrough I found the game got better the farther in you got. You get more genuinely useful costumes the farther you get into the game. But playing it in the linear way it presents itself, DOES suck. A lot of put the square into the square hole. Now put the differently colored square into the same square hole. type game design. Where the solution to every obstacle is simply "use the item sitting right in front of it" I used to say well it DOES get good but it takes a while. But once I really realized the implications of being able to play levels out of order I say it gets good REALLY quick.

It's just such a shame. Coming at these levels with the double jump unlocked early on is so much fun. But every single person without fail is going to get the WORST first impression possible. Literal baby's first video game type design like when they give you a gear costume. The only thing this costume does is slowly move platforms or open doors by interacting with the gear box while wearing it. With costumes from other worlds you can almost 100% ignore all of these horrible binary interactions and just explore and platform around. You can even get more mileage out of early game costumes than you'd think too, given you can get way more distance out of jumps by waiting as long as possible before jumping after you fall off a cliff.

The biggest thing that actually brought down the enjoyment is the Balan bout padding. Where instead of just giving you the statue you found you have to do a QTE first. They're not so bad early on, as there's only one per stage and they're quite short. 2/3rds into the game though they begin putting 2 per stage. And in the last third, there's 3 per stage, and they're longer than the earlier ones too. It's not uncommon to be done with one and immediately find another one seconds later. What's worse is to get the actual collectible from it, you need to score a perfect. Most of them are quite easy but you'll inevitably miss the timing even slightly on some of them, especially since the later ones go on so long. And you can't just retry them. The only way to make them respawn is to go and fight the boss of that world again. Better to just shut the game down without saving in the event that you fail to get a perfect on your 2nd attempt after beating the world before. Thankfully resetting the game isn't too horrible. Unless you're on switch the game loads up really fast and getting back to where you were is always quick given you have costumes that let you fly around. Regardless, it's frustrating that some of the best levels in the game get weighed down by such obnoxious blatant padding by having 3 in each stage. Sure they're entirely optional technically, it being a collectation. But even if you skip the later ones, it still gets in the way of exploration since a portion of the statues are replaced with balan bout hats. Would have been way better to just keep the bouts count at one per stage and have statues just floating there instead of the bout hats. Thank goodness there's no balan bouts in the post game levels.

Now that I've made a wall of text explaining what the game failed to portray to its audience...Some general things I like. The world themes are a lot of fun, the dreamlike qualities and character designs are very reminiscent of Yuji Naka's Sega days. Not sure why people get so baffled at the disappearing NPC's when it's clearly going for a wacky dream aesthetic. Music is excellent (Though it makes the mistake of having one song that plays whenever an enemy is spawned in. I end up killing enemies just so I can get the normal level music back) The bosses are comically easy but the twist of having to find 3 different ways to damage them to get 3 hidden trophies adds some flavor. I especially really enjoy the few worlds that have the ground farther away from you rolled up as a wall, and it rolls down to the floor as you approach it, like a reverse Animal Crossing globe. It's not only a cool visual, but loads of fun once you get some floating or flying abilities. Seeing a castle above you on a wall, and just jumping towards it and watching it roll under you is really unique platforming. The only thing holding the presentation back is the animation on the playable character being very stiff. Gives what's otherwise a very stylish game a bit of a cheap feeling.

The reward for 100% is pitiful but that's kind of par for the course for this genre. Actually cool thing, there IS a reward that would be worthy of being 100%. But it's tied to the Tims garden I haven't brought up yet. The most powerful costume in the game is obtained through an esoteric method of raising your Tims (They're Walmart Chao, and I love them) So it's cool the ultimate reward can be obtained while you're actually playing the game instead of it just giving you the best costume once you've already gotten 100%. Though being able to start a new playthrough with it unlocked would have been a good reward. Why is mario galaxy the only platformer that gives you a new game+ reward for 100% completion? Anyway the Tims actually help you in levels in small ways, like finding certain items and bringing them to you, or smacking an enemy or two for you. Otherwise all they're for is building the Tims Tower, which is functionally a Roblox tycoon that has no purpose outside of an achievement for finishing it. I just wish it let you keep racking up your count. Once the tower is finished it doesn't keep track of your Tim Tower points anymore. If only it would let me be the sicko with a maxed out counter for no reason. It's no Chao garden but as a charming hub world all the levels are attached to, I like that it's here.

If I've made the game sound remotely interesting to you I'd recommend checking out some speedruns, and seeing what kind of gameplay almost everyone who played the game missed out on. Can't say I blame people for not rushing out ready to drop $60 after such a bad demo and a bad first impression on launch even though they made improvements over the demo like faster movement speed.

One of my favorite games of the generation, I own it on PS5, PS4, Xbox One physically and digitally, and Switch. When I'm not broke I'll get it on Steam too. Switch version drops to 0 fps briefly when enemies spawn and has long load times, and just generally runs and looks horrible, so maybe don't get that one if you can help it. Would be a 5 star if Balan Bouts weren't a thing.

The literal definition of misunderstood masterpiece. So misunderstood its director is now in prison.