Reviews from

in the past


the masterpiece creautre nealry made me shat pants

Espero que en el tercer juego esa guarra de blanco me enseñe sus Banbalingas

She Joshin on my Jumbo until I'm Banban

No matter if this series is ironic or sincere, you need to have a specific kind of fucked-up-ness (like the "Euphoric Brothers") to develop, publish, charge 5 bucks for the bare minimum viable "product" of a mascot horror game where neither the mascots nor the settings don't make sense at all in the grand scheme of things (It's a Kindergarten, but the architect really must have loved them sterile SCP-ass laboratories) and where every facet of the game is a rush job, like the models. A brain blender of a game, uninspired and braindead. Bizarre, only for the MatPats of the world to grossly consume it's bare intestines for other content.

TL;DR
When the Josh be Jumboin, numba 2


In every single waking hour of the days that make up the gregorian calendar, I think to myself about how much I absolutely detest the woefully pathetic image of your existence.

If every atom within every universe inside every multiverse on the planes of reality within every timeline were accounted for, their paltry numbers wouldn't be enough to fill a single angstrom of the colossal monument that is my hatred for the knowledge that your presence is within any of my six senses. A single syllable of your title brings about a swift malevolent annihilation of which the likes no one has ever seen or heard of before in reality or in legend.

For you, mild resentment.

Played this a few weeks ago and I already forgot everything about it.

These aren't getting better.
The first one barely worked just for the sole reason of being short. A stupidly annoying drone mechanic, an egghunt puzzle which is just as bad, and the bird thing, which is the only decent idea in the game (but the way that scene is built is still some atrocious game design). That's all there is, it's very short. This one though is three times longer, and has three times as many opportunities to fuck up which it does without fail.
You can skip at least 2 parts ("puzzles"?) in this game because of how broken it is. The whole classroom part is very awkward and the logic in it is very questionable. There is an overlong parkour sequence, but the controls are not platforming friendly, to put it lightly, so it turns into actual hell. The graphics settings are weird as well, my computer can't handle the hyporrealistic graphiscs this game has, so I had everything on medium or low. But little did I know, the "lighting quality" setting is actually "lighting amount", if it's put on "low" you can't see some things, including one of the buttons you need to complete a puzzle. Got me stuck for 10 minutes. The cannons puzzle is agonizingly slow and too simple to feel anything but boredom. But the fact that there are cannons all over the place is a nice touch, made me laugh. Also why is there an underground liminal apartment building under a daycare? I can accept the lab where clay-people are made and turned into local mascots (Spy Kids, anyone?), but come on that thing is there just because kids like liminal spaces. Also the fucking Squid/Snail game thing. This whole game is just a bunch of roblox maps put together.
Uh. Why am I ranting over a game made for small children? I don't know. I just haven't played a game this bad in a long time.
The one thing I actually liked is something I somehow skipped over during my playthrough and that is that huge worm creature you can see halfway through the game. No idea what it is but it's pretty unnerving.

So, are kids these days really into genetic experiments on humans? And I thought the fnaf fascination was weird.

IT HAS BIRD BABIES!!!!!!!! THEY ARE OOMFIE

Jesus Fucking Christ that was so bad I fucking hate my life. The cacophony of sound was unbearable this time, specially since it's x2 times the lenght of the original, and now the game also screams and shouts and laughs at you with honest to god one of the worst voice acting I have ever heard on my life. Thottie Banban could get it tho.
I had to restart multiple times because of the sheer wailling on my headphones preventing me from learning how to play and it actually crashed once when I was doing a puzzle. Feels profoundly more caucasian than the previous game, somehow.

A small sample of what I had to go through

Somehow improves on the masterpiece of the first one

I watched my coworker suck dick and played it for 5 second and quit amen

En su intento por ampliar y mejorar la primera entrega tanto mecánica como narrativamente acaba sintiéndose como una versión más larga, tediosa y poco inspirada.

Banban puede ser mucho más que esto.

Why does it perform so badly holy shit

ok there is no way they are topping this

how do you mfs find this kinda stuff

We talk a lot of shit here, but the tall white lady...

Hear me out...

I was playing this with some friends in a voice call and an hour into the game we had to reassure to our friend who was driving that we were playing a real game and not making up words

i thought the first one was scary.. but this one? blows it out of the water.... i shit myself so bad my chair stink for weeks.... garten of banban 2 is so scary]

I didn't even play it, I watched it in a discord call and this game is hilariously broken (we glitched past a segment on accident)

anyway peak just like the last

O que estou fazendo da minha vida?

Bachillerato de Banban los bolos llorando por los pasillos como se pasa la profe

In comparison to the first game this was actually pretty decent, but by no means was it great. It was very strange, but I appreciate its ambition and attempt to have more of a story. It was also quite scary and I quite like the puzzles. However I think this game mainly suffers from me having experienced it on mobile with very clunky controls. Still I do think this game gets a bit to much hate, maybe for its quirkiness, but sometimes I like quirky horror games, so I could just be different. I will probably play the 3rd one when it comes to mobile, I just hope they don’t milk this series to much


La parte de la profesora es una crítica al sistema educativo y el bullying, una muestra más de los tremendos guionistas que llevan el carro de la increible franquicia Garten of Banban

Una mejor en cuanto a historia y desarrollo de personajes comparándolo con el dos, una antesala más pulida para la obra maestra que es Garten of Banban Tercero