I Am... All Of Me.

Shadow the Hedgehog has been my favorite Sonic character ever since Sonic Adventure 2, so naturally I was looking forward to trying out the one game, where he plays the main role - despite the overall divisive reception of Shadow 2005.

That being said, you know you're in for a ride when the very first level already leaves a sour taste in your mouth. Have you ever wondered how Shadow would control like if he was constantly ice-skating? Probably not, but Shadow 2005 takes that question off your mind by providing you with physics that feel floaty and entirely different from the previous 3D games. Even with those complaints in the beginnning, everything was still tolerable enough for me to keep my motivation to a certain point, but while playing through Iron Jungle, it dawned on me that this game was infamous for a reason. The cherry on top was the Egg Breaker boss afterwards though, who should have been named Camera Breaker, cause that's all he does while Shadow is running little laps around the base in the center of the arena ad infinitum. No offense to Lava Shelter though, it was the final level on the route I played and I actually enjoyed it a good amount after the mess that the previous stage was.

Enough talk about the gameplay, as the unique way of storytelling is also a key aspect of Shadow 2005. There are unironically 326 possible routes to play and they even have their own unique names - but it doesn't change the fact that the storytelling is nonsensical in many cases. So basically there's an alignment system in the levels, which you can advance through completing certain objectives towards your alignment. If you want to be evil, do Black Doom's requests. If you want to remain neutral, just run through the level and get the Chaos Emerald. This way of storytelling is actually an interesting concept for a game like Shadow the Hedgehog, as he is this morally ambiguous character, who can be easily interpreted as a player for both sides. Depending on which objectives you complete, the selection of levels across the stage flowchart changes accordingly and I'm sure the idea is that you don't have to play the same levels twice. Quite ironic, considering you have to play through Westopolis at least ten times in order to see the true ending, all while doing the same, repetitive tasks. Considering the amount of "kill [x] amount of enemy" challenges present, it would have been nice if you weren't required to kill every single enemy in the stage. You missed one? Good luck backtracking and finding them, cause the game surely won't tell you where to search. I couldn't really bring myself to do those challenges, so I went for a run that's mostly on the neutral side, but even that required me to play arduous levels like Iron Jungle to the end. Playing it several times would not be something on my priority list, so I only played a single route and called it quits for now.

Sorry for the amount of unorganized rambling in the second half. I still had my fair share of fun with Shadow the Hedgehog, even if some of it comes from a "so bad it's good again" perspective, cause there's something about it that sticks with me here, but I can't quite put my finger on it. Either way, if I have to give the game some credit where it's due, it's for the soundtrack - the remix for Eggman's theme and the title theme "I Am... All Of Me" are both bangers.

Je vais vous faire une annonce : Shadow le hérisson est un enculé de fdp. Il a pissé sur ma putain de femme ! Eh ouais ! Il a sorti sa teube de hérisson toute pointu et il a pissé sur ma PUTAIN de femme ! et il a dit que sa teub était ENORME, alors j'lui ai répondu "c'est dégueulasse". Par conséquent je vais balancé les dossiers sur mon Twitter.com. Shadow le hérisson, t'as une toute petite teub. Elle est plus petite que cette noix, sauf qu'elle est BEAUCOUP plus petite. Et devine quoi ? Ma teub ressemble à ça. Eh ouais mon gars. Bien pointue, pas d'épines, pas d'oreillers, téma ça, on dirait deux boule et un bong. Il a baisé ma femme, alors devinez quoi, je vais baiser la terre. EH OUAIS, VOUS SAVEZ CE QUE VOUS MERITEZ ! Ma SUPER PISSE LASER ! Je ne vais pas pisser sur terre. Je vise bien plus haut. Je vais pisser sur la LUUUNE ! ça te plaît Obama ?! J'AI PISSÉ SUR LA LUNE, SALE COUILLON ! Vous avez vingt-trois heures avant que les GOUTTELETTES de pisse frappe votre planète de merde, maintenant bougez vos gros culs avant que je pisse dessus !

this is like the anti-sonic forces to me.

the problem with sonic forces is that it's bland, boring and it has extremely little to do. shadow has plenty of levels, hundreds of paths and is ANYTHING but boring.

but it's laggy, unpolished as all hell, extremely edgy in the corniest ways possible, and the level designs are... awful, to say the least. sonic forces, for how much i enjoy shitting on it, is an extremely polished game with so little edge it may as well be a circle.

shadow is better simply because i felt something while playing it. even if that was just laughing at the stupid cutscenes and stupider dialogue, it got something out of me. it also took some risks that, while i don't think they paid off, were at the very least interesting.

bad, but in a fun way.

I just wanna ask: Did Naka or Iizuka lose a bet or something? Did someone point a gun at them(hah), forcing them to convince everyone else at SEGA that this was a good idea? What happened here?

This game helped me in realizing just how much I fucking despise this setting for Sonic. The plastic-y models for Sonic & co. return from Heroes, but now we have the dumbass humans back in the story, which leads to some ridiculous whiplash every time cutscenes with Shadow and the President/GUN Commander play back to back, shit's almost as bad as the Pirates of the Caribbean world in KH2.
Some stages look nice, like Digital Circuit, but most of them are so drab and boring when compared to Heroes. I mean, I get why, they were trying to make this one gritty and all that other bullshit, but it just falls flat in its face.

It's almost adorable how much it fails at being cool, actually. They go SO FAR(but not far enough, more on that later) in trying to ramp up the edge that it loops around and turns into some lame ass shlock instead. Shadow, you don't need a fucking glock to be cool. You were already cool in Adventure 2. That first shot in the opening FMV where he cocks a gun is as imposing as a Disney World costume character holding a super soaker.

Not that using the guns is bad by itself, mind you. In fact, actually playing Shadow the Hedgehog wasn't the worst thing in the world. The controls are not as tight as Sonic Heroes; I guess they noticed Shadow had those Air Shoes and thought "Hey, he should like. float a bit, right?", meaning you slip and slide a lot easier now. But the homing attack works just fine, the spindash is back(even though you can't use it while running), and the guns' lock on works well enough. Mission structure is a bit repetitious though, even for someone who loved Mission mode/Trials in SA1 and Team Chaotix in Heroes. Sure, Chaotix had you looking for 60 candles in Mystic Mansion, but that's like 10 stages into the game. Shadow the Hedgehog asks that you kill 45 Aliens in the very first mission, and looking for them with slippery controls like these isn't as fun.

Speaking of missions: Branching paths. What kind of herb were they partaking of when they cooked this shit up.
Like, the idea of having hero/neutral/dark routes isn't bad, but what's the with overabundance of paths? Three hundred and twenty fucking six different paths are available for the ultimate gamer to make Shadow the perfectly balanced life form. Oh yeah, I love taking the hero path all the way to the end, only to heel-turn at the very last second just to screw Sonic over like some bipolar fuckhead. Why not just have 3 routes to follow determined by what objective you complete in Westopolis?
Kill all Aliens = You're on the hero route where you help Sonic and friends defeat the Black Arms. Head straight for the goal = Neutral route where you don't really give a shit about either faction and end up using the emeralds to find the truth by yourself. Kill all cops = You side with Black Doom to help him take over the world in exchange for your memories(kind of a disproportionate trade if you ask me). That's all they had to do.
Instead, you can choose to/accidentally complete a mission from a different alignment, but because you're so far in a specific route, the next cutscene will act as if you're still a good/bad guy.

I finished 3 runs for my playthrough: Full hero, full neutral, and full dark, meaning there were some stages and story bits I missed, but I looked them up.

This story fucking blows. You're telling me the Commander watched Maria getting a bullet through her back thanks to a GUN soldier, an event which traumatized him, only to join them years later? And apparently he hates Shadow too. If that's the case, why the fuck does the military go after Sonic in Adventure 2? If this mike pence looking piece of shit really had his asshole in a knot because of Shadow and was also a part of GUN, you'd think he'd let everyone else in the organization know. Also Gerald actually had good intentions and we should honor his legacy, I guess?
Not only that, but this is the same Shadow from Heroes(and by extension SA2 since he's the original), right? If so, he already made a bond with the rest of the cast back when fighting Metal Overlord. Why does he think that Black Doom is his only alternative to finding answers about his past when Sonic and the rest of the gang, including Rouge who spent enough time with Shadow and snooped around Eggman's PC/Shadow's containment room in Heroes, are right there? Sure, they don't have all the answers to his past, but what makes him think Black Doom does? Wasn't the moon fucking blown in half when Eggman pissed on it back in SA2? This IS the same continuity, right? "Blah blah, it's a game for kids and things are just supposed to look cool", well if you're gonna give me 326 possible routes and ask that I complete 10 endings to play the actual final stage, AT LEAST pretend to give a shit.

I already disliked the story in Adventure 2. I think it tries to do too much for a series that really has no excuse to fall into plot holes or inconsistencies given how simple Sonic is in concept. The story there was dogshit, this is even worse somehow.

A half-hearted, cowardly attempt at turning this series into something it isn't, and more than that, something it never wanted to be. Why can't I see Sonic's brain fucking oozing out from his bazooka-blasted hedgehole after I kill him? One of the endings implies Shadow kills himself. Why won't they show me the body? Where's the pool of blood next to Maria's cold ass corpse in that flashback? (Granted, all of these things would make this game even worse to me lmao)
The answer? They didn't actually want to take any of this seriously. They didn't want to commit. It's still Sonic, like you've always known, but now we have gunshot SFXs in the menus, the saturation is turned down on most stages(which hilariously clashes with the McDonalds ass character models for the main cast), and Shadow says damn here and there. This game has all the cool-factor of a kid grabbing a gun from his father's closet and waving it around to show how crazy and messed up he is, but he can't pull the trigger. It's not even loaded. It's not even a real gun. Fuck this game.

POST PUBLISH EDIT: Back in my Adventure 1 review, I mentioned that despite its many flaws, that game still managed to win me over thanks to it wearing its heart on its sleeve. Shadow the Hedgehog is the complete opposite of that, as I alluded to previously by calling the game "cowardly"; it feels like this game doesn't want to be here. It doesn't want to do what it's doing, but someone else is pulling the strings so it dances to the tune anyway. It's not honest or confident in itself the same way Adventure 1 was.

Not only that, but it feels like a lot of the people who do fuck with the presentation here kind of enjoy it "ironically"? Like "Haha look at how weird this shit is" or "well, it really is stupid, but try to enjoy the stupid!"(Nothing wrong with that, mind you)
Speaking for myself, I don't really like laughing at something, I'd much rather laugh with it, which is why RE4 is one of my favorite games ever. THAT game knows how bullshit bonkers everything is and it shows that off like a badge of honor. But because this game lacks any self awareness, and also seems embarrassed of itself at points, it really feels like the only approach you can take with it is the former: laughing at it.

(It has some great music though, I can't take that away from it. Shoutout to the GUN Fortress theme, which I had on loop when writing this. If the game went for this kind of energy instead of trying to be more like "All of Me", maybe it would've been better.)

This is the tombstone for all Sonic games past this point(except Generations). If you played Adventure 1 & 2 then you could see how Sega was slowly taking the Sonic franchise into a darker and grittier area. This is the culmination of that idea and it is just as cringe as you would expect. I can’t imagine why anyone in this day and age would want to play this. If it’s for the novelty then let me tell you, it’s not a “So bad it’s good” kind of game, it’s just painful overly edgy cringe. What a joke