Platform: Xbox One (Via Xbox Series X)
Date Started: January 20th, 2024
Date Finished: April 4th, 2024
Time Played: Unknown

"I could do that all day!"

An excellent, tight, incredibly fun shooter that gave birth to one of Xbox's most important and iconic franchises, Gears of War is atmospheric, over the top and excellent all-round.

With a strong story, an outstanding set of characters and shooting mechanics that still feel pretty much as good as nearly anything else around, this first entry was always going to be a hit, and all of it looks and feels so much better in this Ultimate Edition.

With the developers putting cut content back in and split screen being as fun as ever, this is a game that still holds up on every level. It looks great, feels great, sounds and plays great - what's not to like?!

Has anyone who worked on this game ever actually walked on wooden floors before?? Every time these hulking masses of man meat entered a busted-up domestic structure, the foley of their boots stomping on hardwood completely dominated our entire living room as if it was a "bass boosted" YTP from days gone by. Floors don't sound like war drums, guys!

Anyhow uhhhhhhh pretty good co-op experience! The reload timing is cool, reviving is a nice alternative to respawning, campaign length is nice and tight, and I like way those deep voice enemies say "BOOM". Besides having Bongo Bongo from Ocarina of Time do the footstep sound design, my only real complaint is how frequently you reach a door, have a need to go through that door, and then have to wait for the door to be opened for you. I'm 500 pounds of surly beefcake and jagged metal, just let me through already!

Oh and I constantly forgot that Jack existed, it's like I had no object permanence for that weird little robot

Gears of War: Ultimate Edition is a fantastic remaster that brings the classic cover-shooting action to a new generation. The visuals are stunning, completely overhauling the original game's look, and the new campaign chapters add some welcome story content. The core gameplay of strategically taking cover and blasting Locusts with your Lancer chainsaw rifle is still as satisfying as ever. While some might find the difficulty a bit unforgiving on higher settings, and the multiplayer feels a bit dated compared to modern shooters, this is a must-play for any fan of the series or those who want a balls-to-the-wall action experience.

Maybe this is just a me-thing, but this game controls absolutely horrendously. Movement is sluggish, gunplay is not chunky, and the cover system is actually frustrating to use sometimes. Pair that up with a generic and boring story, one-dimensional characters, and subpar gameplay and you've got a deeply unsatisfying experience. Playing on the hardest difficulty is extremely trivial as well, with your character dying extremely quickly. And, of course, the game has a bajillion achievements tied to the multiplayer that nobody plays anymore, with a lot of them requiring insane amounts of grind. The game looks great, and works as intended, I just really don't think its a game for me. I'm kind of shocked Gears of War got so many sequels, and that at least gives me hope that they are better than this.

A game that has been discussed to death, so I’ll try to keep this brief. Yes, the cover-based shooting (and reloading!) mechanics are still very much enjoyable. The story and world building are simple yet effective (I was surprised at how likable the characters are, even though they ooze early 2000’s macho energy including Marcus’ soul patch, Jesus Christ), the berserker sections are usually tense (although her AI can sometimes break), the weapons are very satisfying to use. To anyone who has missed this game for whatever reason, I still very much recommend giving it a try, not just as a milestone in game development history, but simply as a fun gaming experience.

I did, however, encounter a number of issues that I’m going to list below that prevented me from enjoying the game to the fullest. Bear in mind I was playing solo on hardcore difficulty, perhaps these issues are not as prevalent in other configurations:
sprinting is just plain bad - it takes forever between pressing the button and Marcus beginning to run;
it’s difficult to move your character around quickly - not an issue when you’re behind cover far from enemies, but when you find yourself amongst them there’s a low probability you will get out of the situation alive;
assigning sprinting, ducking behind cover and rolling to the same button should be a criminal offense;
some sections, like driving the junker, were clearly designed for co-op play - switching between the UV light and driving is extremely cumbersome;
AI of your companions turns them into morons that will jump out of cover and charge the enemy, getting shot and rendering himself useless - I am NOT leaving cover to pick you up from the middle of the battlefield (yes, I know you can give your companions simple commands, but when you don’t use them at all the AI should be able to exhibit some sensibility and at least shoot from behind cover);
using chainsaw is extremely unreliable, I died countless times just because the game didn’t think I was worthy of revving the engine for whatever reason, leaving me standing next to an enemy like a total idiot;
torque bow enemies, good God, I can’t recall the last time I was so annoyed by an enemy in a TPS;
the final boss design is simply lazy and disappointing.