(Review posted on Steam in 2014.)

OK, a serious review this time - maybe this game simply wasn't for me. I've never really been a fan of retro-styled platformers, probably because I didn't grow up with them so the nostalgia doesn't really do anything for me. I've tried to play some of the classics but the ones that do hold up (Mega Man, Gimmick!) still have plenty of gameplay flaws that their indie counterparts don't seem to want to let go of.

VVVVVV has a great, great soundtrack (I even bought it) but it's an immensely frustating game in a way that it's arcade contemporary Super Meat Boy is not. You respawn instantly, like that game, but with an irritating sound effect that feels like a punishment for dying. The odd control scheme is slippery and feels inconsistent, although I'll admit some people have mastered it enough to speedrun it. And, unlike many of Super Meat Boy's levels where you see what is coming far before tackling it, VVVVVV by design blindsides you with its Zelda-style screen scrolls into traps you have no time to prepare for. Veni Vidi Vici is the quintessential example of this design philosophy in action.

What this results in is a game that is entirely based on trial-and-error. That's really all it has - the actual platforming isn't fun due to the slow pace and iffy controls, so what it does instead is throw a bunch of gimmicks at you while you slowly inch your way through an Atari-skinned meat grinder. There's some elements of exploration in the hub world (one of the songs is even called Passion For Exploring) but nothing to really do in it, making it just a fancy version of a level select.

This could all be fine if the game was charming or interesting enough to make up for these flaws (Gimmick! is also a frustrating game with a lot of trial-and-error) but, unfortunately, it really isn't. The characters are literally stick figures. The world is mostly blocks and spikes with an occasionally cute theme or object in a room, reinforced by the nice touch of giving every room its own name, but its very barebones.

Obviously, many people have enjoyed VVVVVV a lot, and saying something binary like "this game is the worst thing ever" is silly and unfair. But my honest opinion is that it's just not worth the short time you put into it.

VVVVVV is a dead simple game with a dead simple spin on the platformer genre; removing the ability to jump in place of the ability to reverse gravity. Around this simple premise, everything is designed. There is not a single concept in this game that is not in the pursuit of testing the player's ability to flip and control their movement with precision and speed. In short, VVVVVV is an incredibly low-stakes operation. The story, while occasionally humourous, is ultimately meaningless outside of its ability to compel the player from point A to point B.

VVVVVV is the epitome of "if you can't do it right, then don't do it at all". Nothing is here that doesn't need to be, and everything that is here is polished to a shine.

Thank you, VVVVVV. Thank you for never letting me down once.