Reviews from

in the past


A terrible disappointment and missed opportunity if there ever was one but it's not as bad as some people say. The game has an endless amount of flaws but there is some fun to be had. The graphics and story aren't great but if you like Aliens you will feel at home with the environments the devs have created. If they'd given the weapons more punch and the aliens a bit more brain, that would've done a lot. Fixing the now infamous spelling error doesn't improve the enemy-AI that substantially and therefore doesn't fix the brainless combat. The odd thing is, that there are sections where the aliens (must be other models, I suppose) act a lot smarter and are a genuine threat. They lurk behind objects, attack and vanish again. But the cannon-fodder-enemies they throw at you for 99 percent of the game are just an embarrassment to the brilliant creature H. R. Giger once created.
The fact that they tried to "fix" the beginning of Alien³ is a nice gesture to some fans (I don't care) but what they do with Hicks and Bishop isn't exciting either.
If you want to get terrified by an Alien game, play Isolation. As far as Alien-shooters go, try the marine-campaign from AvP2. That stuff is much more intense than any second of Colonial Marines. If you are lazy, like me, and just want to play a game that takes place in that universe and doesn't take much effort or dedication from the player, Aliens Colonial Marines is alright.

Aliens: Colonial Marines has a good premise. It seeks to continue the story from Aliens, and retcon some elements that seemed a bit lazy in Alien 3. Some of the gameplay isn't the best, but there was an attempt to make this with heart, especially by rehiring a couple of the old actors to play their original roles. The story is a fairly basic retread of Aliens, so nothing really surprising.

Some elements do not work, however. The stealth section is not really all that scary, and shoehorns in a silly xenomorph type into the game. The final boss is also just a push them out of the ship scenario, where you can actually duck and hide, which takes a lot of tension out of the fight.

Despite this, I did enjoy my time with the game. With some extra polish and testing, this could have been a great title and sequel to my favorite movie in the Alien franchise.

Colonial Marines may be a bit better than I would orignally give it credit for solely for functioning alright compared to most other kusoge. It's clear that Colonial Marines was a Frankenstein's Monster of poorly thought-out story ideas stitched together by several contracted studios because Gearbox spent more time and money on Borderlands 2 and attempting to make something out of Duke Nukem Forever. Needless to say this spotty development approach and lack of care and interest in the IP (despite what that awful PR video tries to gaslight the audience into believing) births a half-baked shooting gallery at best, and technically unstable, infuriating fan fiction at its worst.

Colonial Marines' biggest praise is that being able to pick off fish in a barrel with a friend is somewhat fun. Obviously, playing this with my friend @Cody1075 meant we spent more time having fun at the game's expense rather than giving it much of a fair shot. Colonial Marines makes it hard to approach it with anything resembling fairness, though, considering how technically busted it is. While I was able to complete this most recent playthrough without crashes, that doesn't mean there weren't ceaseless audio-visual and gameplay related bugs happening to either of us on the frequent.

The fact Randy Pitchford had a shitfit and fell in it how Stephany Sterling and other critics at the time (rightfully) shat on this trash for what it was astounds me. History has rightfully placed Colonial Marines in the shitter with all the other bunk (if not entertaining) shooters that plagued the hardware generation. No, Randy, this game is not a 7/10; not even close.