Colonial Marines may be a bit better than I would orignally give it credit for solely for functioning alright compared to most other kusoge. It's clear that Colonial Marines was a Frankenstein's Monster of poorly thought-out story ideas stitched together by several contracted studios because Gearbox spent more time and money on Borderlands 2 and attempting to make something out of Duke Nukem Forever. Needless to say this spotty development approach and lack of care and interest in the IP (despite what that awful PR video tries to gaslight the audience into believing) births a half-baked shooting gallery at best, and technically unstable, infuriating fan fiction at its worst.

Colonial Marines' biggest praise is that being able to pick off fish in a barrel with a friend is somewhat fun. Obviously, playing this with my friend @Cody1075 meant we spent more time having fun at the game's expense rather than giving it much of a fair shot. Colonial Marines makes it hard to approach it with anything resembling fairness, though, considering how technically busted it is. While I was able to complete this most recent playthrough without crashes, that doesn't mean there weren't ceaseless audio-visual and gameplay related bugs happening to either of us on the frequent.

The fact Randy Pitchford had a shitfit and fell in it how Stephany Sterling and other critics at the time (rightfully) shat on this trash for what it was astounds me. History has rightfully placed Colonial Marines in the shitter with all the other bunk (if not entertaining) shooters that plagued the hardware generation. No, Randy, this game is not a 7/10; not even close.