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My time with the Pikmin franchise finally comes to an end. Not with Pikmin plucking joy but with Pikmin dying misery. I was definitely spoiled by playing Pikmin 4 first, but irrespective of that I am not a fan of this entry. 1, 3 and 4 were all pretty great, and I was, for a time, convinced this may be yet another trophy on the pik-mantle piece. But this Pikmin sequel’s design slowly shattered as time went on. This is easily my least favourite instalment.

The cave structure is fun. I loved the vast majority of the caves in Pikmin 4. They were more linear experiences with tighter designs that were an adequate companion to the equally excellent overworld structure. Pikmin 2 does not have such a degree of thought placed into it. Each and every cave is “random”. The enemies and treasures are the same each time, but you are essentially rolling dice on how good the level structure will be. These computer generated levels are entirely without design or merit; an unsurprising revelation. There is no puzzle to solve, no meaningful thought required whatsoever. They are either trivially easy, or irritatingly hard. The lack of a reset button grinds one's gears a considerable amount after the thirtieth time. Randomly designed games can be fun. All one needs to do is look at the suite of incredible roguelikes out there. But this isn’t random design, it’s plain random. Not once does it come together in any resemblance of a meaningful manner.

These caves take up a considerably larger portion of the game time than the graceful balance found in 4. If I had to estimate I would say it was a 70/30 split. There isn’t a noticeable drop off in quality in the part of the game where sunlight reaches, but it is pushed to the side so overtly that it is challenging to award the merits it deserves to a game that is so antagonistic to said parts.

When I think of Pikmin I am awash with memories of natural soundscapes and charming music. Such soundscapes and music are absolutely present in this game, yet they are drowned out by the poorly-mixed screams of Pikmin and the blasted treasure tracker. This is one of the worst noises in a game ever. Second only to the villainously ear-bleeding low health noise in Luigi’s Mansion 3. There is no option to turn it off. And even if there was, it is 100% essential to complete the game. It’s heartbreaking to see the potential of auditory bliss be squandered so nominally by issues even I could fix.

Multiple characters are easily the best evolution the series has seen since the original, but the step taken here seems futile. There are few, if any, instances where having Louie is valuable here. Without the ability for the second character to move autonomously, all it offers is the occasional miniscule saving of time. Such time is hardly worth saving considering the aforementioned amount of cave-dwelling performed in Pikmin 2.

Pikmin is still a monumentally great franchise and its best game, Pikmin 4, would not exist without this entry. But I do not think this game is good. It feels lazy cobbled together, as if it was some kind of cash grab. Until looking up the release dates I thought this was one of those sequels they turned around and excreted within a year. There were a firm 3-4 hours of fun at the start of this game, but after that it spiralled into an unrecognisable shell of what I believe to be fun about the Pikmin series. At least they bounced back harder than anyone ever has before after this, and you know Pikmin 5 will be incredible.

Só não tem mais estrelas PORQUE MEUS PIKIMINS NÃO PARAM DE MORRER

Water Wraith was my childhood 9/11