This review contains spoilers

I've played this game twice, and the more time passes, the more I realize that the story and everything surrounding it is honestly kinda doo doo balls.

Persona 5 is a game that tries to paint itself as being progressive and forward thinking, but ultimately just ends up becoming reactionary in the proccess. Well, I would say try, but it really doesn't. The game kinda namedrops some key words like "rebellion" and "opression", but it never really goes anywhere with it beyond "man it's kinda fucked up how that one evil guy is doing that one evil thing we gotta kick his ass." It's not a sentiment I necessarily disagree with, but I honestly just find it to be really shallow, and not interesting enough to make a 90+ hour long game out of. By the end of vanilla, good old Yaldy is spouting off some buzzwords about the "collective unconscious" or whatever, and my eyes are just rolling into the back of my head because this is the third time in a row Hashino has done this shit. It's probably even worse in Royal's 3rd semester, as the Phantom Thieves finally cement their role as the secret defenders of the status quo. Welp, there goes all of the borderline nonexistent messaging and thematic structure built over the last ~90 hours!

Beyond that, this game undercuts itself in multiple other ways. My favorite example of this first arc of the game. Basically there's a predatory teacher in relationships with his high school students, so you fuck him up and make him suffer for his crimes. This stance and message the game pushes is completely contradicted by the fact that this game lets you date one of the school's OTHER(???) predatory teachers relatively soon afterwards. Not only that, but it then takes Ann (one of the abuse victims) and dresses her up in a dominatrix fit for the rest of the entire game. The worst part is that she doesn't even have agency over wearing it either. I've seen some people pass this off as "reclaiming her sexuality" but just like, no. The game evidently doesn't take her seriously, as it makes an incessant amount of creepy ass jokes about it. I don't care if you throw some 12 hour long YouTube video at me, I'm not buying that shit. All I'm gonna say is that Epstein would've been all over this game.

On the topic of the characters, they suck so much dude. Persona 5 might have one of the most bland casts I've ever seen in a JRPG. As said before, this game is like 100 hours long, and I've played it twice. So, when I tell you that I genuinely can't think of anything remotley compelling about any of these characters, I mean it, all of them. Persona 5 also continues the awful trend of hiding key character moments and development (lol) behind optional social links. The worst part is that because they're optional, they can't be a part of the main story in nearly any capacity. The weird thing about this is that ATLUS nailed this balance extremely well in Persona 3, so seeing them completely unlearn it during Persona 4, and then continue to double down on it in Persona 5 is just absolutely bizzare to me. Witnout fail, the cast is also extremely annoying. Sure, Akechi might secretly be some "uber complex flawed character" or whatever, but that motherfucker sounds like a 15 year old on a message board trying to talk like Sephiroth. Like you cannot be asking me to take his ass seriously.

Okay, so I gave this game a 6/10. What's up with that?

In a cruel twist of fate, just about everything else in this game is pretty much great. From the frenetic fast paced combat, to the music, to the striking art style, it's all there. Admittedly, there's some pretty good reasons people don't shut up about this game, and I get it. I know I talked some mad shit about Yaldy and Maruki earlier, but they do genuinely have some very good fights that I absolutely adore, and Maruki's dungeon is fantastic. An awful story can only really dampen my experience with a game so much if the act of playing it is reminiscent of having heroin getting shot straight into my veins. If you were ever wondering why I played this game twice, this is it.

At the end of the day, Persona 5 strikes me as a game that doesn't really fully believe or commit to anything. It's almost as if ATLUS made a really good JRPG, but forgot that they were also supposed to be writing a story for it. It kinda strikes me as one of those visual novels where some really crazy shit happens, but they do the whole dramatic sing and dance of "oooohh this is what it means to live" so people just kinda get tricked into thinking it's good. Clearly it worked in this game's case, since there's legions of 15 year olds willing to sell their soul to this game. And you know what? That's fine. If I was 15 years old, I'd probably think this game is the shit too.

Reviewed on May 13, 2023


14 Comments


11 months ago

Great review man!! really summarised how underwhelming the game can be at sometimes a side from certain sections like the Maruki's palace and Yaldy. the game really falls off for me at times due to how hollow the game is after the kamoshida palace as everything fell flat on it's face and didn't achieve much at all throuughout the majority of the game

11 months ago

Lmao true this game fucking sucks ass

11 months ago

Bro spat the words right out of my mouth. I'm probably in the minority, but I genuinely did like a lot of the ideas they had when creating this game, it's just that a lot of those themes clash and contradict each other, and not in a good way that challenges you, in the most horrible way possible that leaves you confused and skeptical if there was any thought put into any of it at all. You mentioned how you adored Maruki's fight but disliked how his story arc only shows how senseless the Phantom Thieves actions end up. I love Maruki as a character a lot, and despite everything about him being really really cliche and obvious, like the whole "redeeming a villain" troupe and "power can corrupt you" themes, but why it works so well is because everything designed about him reinforces these themes, from the music, to the dungeon design, it's just that for me, his story clashes too hard with the rest of the game to feel genuine at all.

I really hope Atlus can recover from this, they made one of the most fun and awesome games of all time, and fumbled the bag so hard with the story, characters and themes, most likely from rushing this project a lot, I don't care what anyone says, if we get a good story, I'm willing to wait like ten more years for the next Persona game.

11 months ago

well said

11 months ago

The cast part is true but Yusuke is deadass the best character in the series

11 months ago

mannnn, great review. wrote my thoughts on paper perfectly. i feel like the incredible atmosphere and style really pulls people in and creates this illusion of a great game with solidified characters when i feel like none of them truly commit to their arcs. they don't really become much more to me than recurring gags and such. also, loved how you pointed out how they hide key moments behind optional social links and how persona 3 actually pulled this off really well, they just regressed for some reason. never heard of that 12-hour video until now, genuinely insane behavior.

11 months ago

@vaeqas

Thanks for the kind words :)

9 months ago

“It's probably even worse in Royal's 3rd semester, as the Phantom Thieves finally cement their role as the secret defenders of the status quo.”

Did we play the same game?

9 months ago

@trentsuki He was never a villain to begin with though, he’s just an antagonist.

9 months ago

@SmashBlack I never said he was? I was referencing the troupe.

13 days ago

I loved reading through this and THANK YOU! For not blindly shitting on the game as I've seen a lot lately. I agree with your criticisms about Ann just feeling like a joke to the game and Kawakami being...really weird. Also totally agree with the praise you gave...if I had to maybe ask a question about something it would maybe be what your issues are with the 3rd semester specifically.


"Phantom Thieves finally cement their role as the secret defenders of the status quo. Welp, there goes all of the borderline nonexistent messaging and thematic structure built over the last ~90 hours!" This kind of reads to me as you wanting them to accept Maruki's reality (could totally be wrong though, I'm not the brightest.). The personal reason I think they reverted his reality was because the PTs had hope that Japan could change on their own and not some god powers just basically handing it to them for free, you could possibly think of this as the Chaos route of Persona 5 Royal...I'm really hoping I don't sound stupid LMAO. Though I'm interested in hearing your perspective since I've seen pretty much universal praise for the 3rd semester.

If I only had to criticise one thing is maybe the last paragraph being a bit too pretentious? But eh, what do I know. I enjoyed your review regardless and hope to see more from you. :)

13 days ago

(also my goodness sorry for the yap session HAHA)

13 days ago

@G0dot

Thanks for your feedback! And yeah I'll totally say I don't really agree with my last paragraph anymore either lol. This review is like a year old and I kind of don't really stand by my behavior in some instances like this.

When it comes to the third semester, I don't really think the behavior of the Thieves is a bad thing in a vaccum, I'd honestly consider it to be the "right choice". It's moreso that it gets muddied to me when contrasted against what the rest of the game is pushing. I've touted P5 as being a bit "non-commital" in a way, and the sort of cherry on top for me is with them fighting for the world to remain the exact same through means not exactly all that different to those of their adversary. It leaves a bit of a mixed taste in my mouth thematically speaking, and I don't really thing I'd consider it to be a holistically negative thing like I used to.

To put it simply, I'm much kinder to this game nowadays than I used to be and I could totally understand someone loving it as much as they do.

13 days ago

@Bells ay I'm glad to hear it! And don't worry I and probably many others wrote some stuff in our reviews that probably came off as a bit pretentious. It's great to see you grow from that though, also I have to thank you for motivating and inspiring me more for wanting to write a second review on Persona 5 Royal due to the Maruki's reality argument, feeling like I actually have something new to say. :D