Sluggish flight sequences and hot ass platforming that feels like your character is 1,000 pounds while your analog sticks are burning out. I appreciate that this isn't all "edgy macho gritlord" like the previous few games were, but it also totally removes the bouncy fluidity which made these so fun to play in the first place. Flying around in the little contained overworld sections is actually kind of sick, art design for them is also occasionally rad - but I'm sick of pretending that games which were impressive for their hardware are still impressive when ported to more powerful consoles. They aren't. This, God of War: Ghost of Sparta, Resident Evil: Revelations - like sorry, don't want to play them! Not awful, but pointless and shoddy nonetheless. A bore.

Sluggish flight sequences and hot ass platforming that feels like your character is 1,000 pounds while your analog sticks are burning out. I appreciate that this isn't all "edgy macho gritlord" like the previous few games were, but it also totally removes the bouncy fluidity which made these so fun to play in the first place. Flying around in the little contained overworld sections is actually kind of sick, art design for them is also occasionally rad - but I'm sick of pretending that games which were impressive for their hardware are still impressive when ported to more powerful consoles. They aren't. This, God of War: Ghost of Sparta, Resident Evil: Revelations - like sorry, don't want to play them! Not awful, but pointless and shoddy nonetheless. A bore.

Not so much a 'far cry' from the likes of Haus - more like a diet version of it, clearly affected by rushed writing which begs to be further explored even as it delivers some nice quality-of-life improvements to the base game. Still though... no one does this shit like Dead Island - almost completely optimized unpretentious zombie-shredding gameplay. Art design is still totally off-the-chain, and the ripper + sawblade launcher are the most devilishly fun video game weapons since The Heist & the Hazardous' Pain & Gain gun. Its potshots on influencer dullard festivals a la Fyre Fest, performative corpo advocacy, and the spinelessness inherent to slacktivism - not entirely soft targets today - are scattershot but relatively effective. Goddamn I wish there were like 100 more of these - I'm never not down for another blood-soaked Dead Island turret on surrendering to your most basic elemental turpitude to become the malevolent, super awesome beast you truly are.

While thoroughly antiquated by Tomb Raider: Anniversary, I think this should be looked at as its own unique, damn good experience. Firstly, this is one of the best trophy lists I've ever had the pleasure of playing through - I mean the thing is just STACKED - a wonderful balance of tough-as-nails, funny, grindy, demanding, and honest to God fun. Second, I've seen many decry this for its commitment to the original gameplay style - which I understand if you aren't used to - but not only am I glad they didn't just retread Anniversary again, I'm also shocked at how well it actually holds up for a 1996 game?? Yeah there's jank (the bonking off of walls is one of the worst features ever implemented into a video game) but with this sort of thing you know what you're getting into - honestly it really isn't that bad when you aren't whiffing random jumps, in fact I find it to be rather satisfying when you get the hang of it. Easy to see why this franchise blew up considering it managed to get a lot of its charm right on the first go - the relaxing atmosphere, smart puzzles, globetrotting locales, legendary music, a touch of creepiness, and that in-the-zone feeling of you vs. the environment all make this such an idiosyncratic product (like the others). Gets the brain juices flowing, I dig it. Way better than Tomb Raider: Underworld. Atlantis' art design here is just superb.