None of you will ever appreciate this like you should have. I chalk this up to bad taste, systematic racism and Joe Budden.

Some of you will never know. YOU'LL NEVER KNOW. This trained me for my future with dead end jobs and serving cocaine.

The Godfather Part II of web browser games.

Video game equivalent of a bad South Park episode.

Something of a tough game to rate. Too similar to Fallout for its own good. There's next to nothing changed mechanically. Which makes it easy to pick up and master. However, outside of companions it doesn't really lap the prior single player Fallout at much. Sure, you can RP easier if that's your thing but the world itself isn't particularly fascinating or fun to explore.

You're in this overbearing capitalist critique that gives no alternative beyond, "what if we put nicer people in charge of the shit hole?". Even the better side quests are beat for beat ripped from prior Fallout quests. It's a fine, worth playing once game.

One of the most overrated games ever made. A drunk mess, every scene is stained with a piss filter, everytime you open a doorway you get a needless cutscene. It's like fan fiction. What if the protagonist got old and was really bitter and was hanging out in some spooky foreign country? Blow me.

This isn't the best game ever made but it is better than Assassin's Creed.

I always found this game a bit off. I played it at a pretty young age too. It's incredibly grim but yet goofier than shit. The comic book cutscenes and voice acting are like out of Dick Tracy or something. One minute your infant child is getting blown to bits and a level or two later some goon is going, "huhuh Max ur a Payne 2 the Max! Get it!? Haha!".

I played the demo twice and saw the G4 review and frankly that was enough.

It doesn't get much better than this. Played the Paris level too many times to count. This is Assassin's Creed but for grown ups.

2006

My first playthrough as a grown adult I believe.

Considered docking this for the cringe Rockstar humor. Although I do think this game is pretty funny at times. The big punchlines (HUHUH INCEST!) aren't funny but the random NPC banter is good shit. The open world is still one of my favorites. The random chaos happening across school campus is hysterical.

I only found 1 mission to be flat out bad/poorly done. Maybe not all compelling and some simply shouldn't have made the cut (ie. the weird pervert ones) but I wasn't struggling. The story's a bit of gibberish because the main character Jimmy Hopkins is a flat out dumb fuck. On one hand his character is embarrassing but on the other it's a unique experience. How often do you play as a complete, bumbling moron? Albeit one who can destroy an entire school with his bare hands.

I feel like I should have more complaints but I thoroughly enjoyed my replay of this game. Alexa play What More Can I Say

He eat the food with big mouth.

I get a blood pumping rush from beating meth heads senseless with tire irons and rusty pipes. There's something sticking a spiked bat into a derelict's gut and listening to him groan. The slight thrill I get as I unload a sawed off into the jowls of a pizza faced tweaker is unmatched. But anyhow, this games alright by me.

Put this hunk of shit in a time capsule for it's early 2010s in gaming. Right next to that Kane and Lynch sequel.

I talk just like this narrator after three coke and tequilas. The peak of the Call of Juarez franchise. RIP, I guess.