It's an amazing art exhibit and I'll never stop being thankful that folks just make things that feel different. It's a toy, it's a museum, it is a game not in the sense we've grown accustomed to, but in the traditional sense: it centers PLAY. Nour is a synesthetic burst of color and sound, trying the senses together in fun ways, and taking excellent advantage of platform specific features (like the dualshock speakers) to draw the player's sensory experience into the screen.

It's not to be played through all at once, it's not to be mastered or perfected. It's a painting you can count on being there if you need to mess around without having to eat the result or tidy up the dishes.

Is it good? Hell if I know. It's not really the point. It's a really soulful tech demo that can exist in the background of your home to make you think about that noodle place you like.

It was exactly what I expected when I wishlisted it ages ago and I was very thankful to have an experience for a few hours that didn't require anything but my attention.

Gonna try not to be biased as this one of the games I played for hours on end through the years until now as well!
I speedrun this, so I'm always happy for a buggy glitchy game, But the glitches in this are beyond me.

Achievements did not appear for the game on release week, one is currently unobtainable, and its mostly just grinding. How fun, lots of missed opportunities for some creative ones.
The loading sound was removed and changed for the 1st game, everything else worked fine on that, Now the second game, that's where the problems come in.

Missing assets on Naboo, like an entire wall is see through, Enemies and allies Even myself would spawn out of bounds on Naboo.
The new hero hunt mode for all maps completely breaks AI, on Kamino every enemy had no idea where to go, so they resorted to spinning in a circle then running off the edge.

Galactic conquest is broken if you play as the Empire and try to buy a new upgrade I was greeted with a crash every time, meaning I could not play that mode unless I was CIS, Rebels or Clones :(

Apart from that, the game is basically the same (if its not broke why fix it) In this case it was the company trying to add new things like the mode that broke it :(

Wait for Sale on this, or just buy the old ones on the xbox store. Much better.

(Part 5 of the Half Century Challenge, created by C_F. You can find their fifth review here)

You know what, I am getting SICK and TIRED of reviewing video games, or hell, even just playing them for that matter! I mean, seriously, who even really likes these things anyway? They are full of nothing but dumbass battle royales, microtransactions, IPs being milked to the bone as we speak, and they are all made by a bunch of incompetent TWATS who should be ashamed of themselves for even thinking about taking part in this industry in the first place! And quite frankly, I have had it up to HERE with them, so I’m gonna be stopping right here. I’m gonna move onto reviewing actual games from now on, you know, ones that are actually FUN, and people actually put proper time and heart into, just so that I can get away from all of that other FILTH……………… but hey, I’m sure this all seems very sudden for a lot of you, so I will go ahead and ease you into this new period of my reviewing “career” by reviewing one last video game, one that is essentially an electronic version of an actual, proper game! It’s perfect! So, let us take this final journey by talking about the not-at-all-awkwardly named Touch Me.

For those who are unaware as to what this game is, it is essentially an electronic version of the classic game that we all know and love, Simon Says, or just Simon, for those of you who care about that kind of stuff. It was originally released in 1974 as an arcade title, which you can see through this video, where you have these different buttons, they will light up and go BRZT in a determined sequence, and you have to repeat that sequence until you ultimately lose and feel dead inside as a result. It’s a very simple game that I’m sure that we have all played at some point in our lives, and you can see here just from this one simple arcade machine how effective it really is. The simple design, the simple colors, the infectious sound effects, as well as the natural skills that you can develop from playing Simon Says, such as motor skills and body awareness, makes this an unmistakable gem that most other games over the years can never match, just from its timeless quality alone. Not to mention, the machine even allows you multiple chances, just in case you fuck up, so if you do inevitably mess up, it lets you try again, just to remind you that there is always a way to pick yourself back up and have at it again, even when you feel like you have exhausted every option available.

However, that is not the version of the game that I played, since it is literally impossible for me to play it unless I actually go out and try to find one of these machines. So, instead, I tried out the 1979 version of the game, which was a completely separate handheld version of the game that you could take anywhere! You could play it at home, at the park, at work, even at your wife’s funeral! There can now be plenty of Touch Me fun wherever you go (I’m losing my mind)! And thankfully, it works just as well as the original version of the game, with bright colors to be seen and plenty of BRZTS to add to the experience! However, according to what it says on the box, you better not even THINK about giving this shit to anyone under 7 years old, or anyone past the stage of adult, because if you do, they will have a heart attack right on the spot, as they just can’t handle the INTENSITY of a game like Simon Says!

But if you think that this version is just a straight port of the original Touch Me with no extra bells or whistles to it, then you better sit down, because what I’m about to tell you is gonna blow your fucking mind:..... THERE’S MORE GAME NOW! With this version, you can now set different levels of skill, from as low as 8 all the way up to 99, challenging the player to follow along the pattern a specific amount of times, even rewarding the player with a nice jingle at the end, and OOH BOY, is that jingle ever so sweet. You may think these modes might not mean all that much, but when you think about it, it seems like a pretty daunting task. I mean, seriously, have you ever heard about anyone being able to complete an entire 99 rounds of Simon Says without messing up once? I certainly haven’t, especially not with this version of the game, and I am convinced that nobody has truly reached their full potential in life unless they have completed said 99 rounds in this game. Why else would I be here right now talking about it?

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, all of the wonders of the classic game Simon are here and accounted for, for you to get lost in for hours, having the most amount of fun you have ever had in your……… in your………. uh………. sigh............ what am I doing? No, really, WHAT am I doing right now? I’m making a multi-paragraph review about Simon Fucking Says… what has my life come to?! Who the fuck even actually likes Simon Says, anyway? It’s the most boring-ass game in the world, and there’s no way anyone could ever make the game more fun than it actually is…….. unless…… wait… there have been ways that people have made the game more fun! Like, look here in this video, and skip to the 1:28:31 mark! Look at how they took something boring and monotonous and turned it into something more charming and energetic… that makes the game more fun!... to a degree. And look, over here, at the 11:38 mark… they managed to take Simon Says and add a crude, yet oddly hilarious spin on it that makes it even more fun than it was before! Hell, even in a bad game like this one, they managed to take this simple game and make it that much more enjoyable, even by adding extra urgency for whenever you fuck up!

I think I get it now…. yes! I was wrong all along! Video games aren’t filth or terrible in any way… they’re actually wonderful! Sure, there is definitely a lot, and I mean A LOT, wrong with them, and the industry as a whole, but look at all of the wondrous things that we have made from these things! So many different worlds that we can explore, so many fun challenges that we can take on, so many different characters that we grow to love as if they were actual, living people, and so many different ways that they have been able to bring us together, to connect with one another, and to make many different kinds of relationships that, if lucky, could last forever. Making Simon Says a better game is just one small, insignificant fraction of what video games can truly do, and I feel ashamed that I ever threw this medium under the bus, even if it was all meant for a joke! I’m sorry, video games, and I promise, I will never ever leave your side again…

Overall, Touch Me was an interesting way of making a fun, more interactable and replayable version of Simon Says, but really, there is only so much you can get out of it not just because of how one-note and rudimentary it is, especially with many, MANY different versions of the game out there that do make it much better and more replayable. It is a neat little novelty for its time, and it is somewhat fun to go back to for the sake of remembering history, but there isn’t many other reasons as to why you would want to go back to it in the first place. Also, they REALLY couldn’t think of a better title for this thing? I mean, seriously, they could’ve just named it “Simon” or “Memorization”, or something like that, but no, instead we get a name that I feel very uncomfortable saying out loud, especially when I’m around most other people. Keep that shit to yourself, Atari, cause I ain’t interested.

Game #596

Not as bad as I assumed but certainly not a hidden gem. The most interesting part of the experience comes from the game's stamina system, which has both enemies and the player being knocked down when out of stamina. This knocked down state is the only state in which either can take damage, making the combat itself far more interesting than that of most Game Boy Color titles.

However the strict memory limitations and finicky jump controls make a lot of the visuals rough and the most platforming-heavy levels a chore. This one's mostly for the scooby-obsessive, but even then, the plot, while full of reference to the show, is sparse as expected.

Have you ever played a game that, despite all the good or bad things that it does, made you feel completely numb to it at the end of the day? Like, you can definitely form opinions on all of the things that it does, what it does right and wrong, how you think it could improve itself, and what you love about it, but at the end of the day, you just simply… don’t really care about it at all? I would argue that this is probably the worst kind of reaction you could have to any kind of game, even more so than straight up anger or hatred, because at least you can feel genuine, proper emotion from that rage, as you could if you end up loving a game, but if you don’t feel anything at all towards a game at all to the point of it being mind-numbing to you, then it’s probably gonna end up being less memorable to you, and you will probably forget it ever existed in the first place. This is essentially how I felt after I had beat the forgotten 90s arcade platformer known as Blue’s Journey.

I had never heard of this game until quite recently, where I was looking for another game from ADK to play and make fun of, since that is a running theme that I have built up for myself at this point. Out of their selection, I found this title, and based on how the poster looked, I thought it looked stupid, yet charming enough to where I would probably end up liking what I played. So, I decided to give it a shot, and I would say that it is a good-ish game, but… man, is it one of the most “whatever” games I have played in some time. It does have quite a bit going for it, and if it was somewhat more polished and refined, we could have ourselves a bonafide hidden gem on our hands here, but instead, we have a game with good elements and ideas that is extremely rough around the edges that I couldn’t give two shits about once it was all over.

The story is standard for this kind of game, where the insect kingdom of Raguy is taken over suddenly by the evil Daruma Empire, who seek to spread pollution and chaos throughout the land, so it is up to Blue to set out to not only stop the Daruma Empire from doing their evil deeds, but to also save the fair Princess Fa as well, which feels like a story that fits right in with typical video games stories of this era, not only because of how generic it is, but also because it’s a pollution PSA, and you know how they LOVED making those around this time. The graphics are good, having that cheap, yet still impressive looking style that Neo Geo games were known for at the time, but it doesn’t have that much of a distinct or impressive art style for me to like it too much, the music is alright, having plenty of upbeat tunes to listen to while you’re murdering all these innocent creatures, but nothing stands out as too original, catchy, or infectious, and the gameplay/control is somewhat standard for the kind of game this is, implementing some features that could be seen as innovative for this genre…. you know, if it hadn’t already been done before, and if this game did anything more with these concepts, but hey, A for effort.

The game is a 2D platformer, where you take control of Blue, go through plenty of different stages throughout the expansive kingdom of Raguy, defeat the many foes you will encounter with the various weapons that you will find, or just by throwing them at other enemies, gather plenty of different weapons, money, and health items to assist you along the way and give you more points, enter various buildings to either speak with the inhabitants who will assist you on your journey, or to browse a shop full of many helpful items, and take on several bosses that can be a bit tricky at first, until you realize just how pathetically easy they are. There is a lot of typical fun, arcade platforming to be had here, with a lot of neat different gimmicks and traits that do make the game feel like it is actually somewhat trying, but then, when you take a step back, you will find that a lot of what this game does has been done once or twice before in plenty of other games, and in comparison, this game doesn’t do that much at all to make it stand out or feel unique.

With that being said though, there are some elements about the game that do make it stand out, with said elements going back to what the main character can do. Along with all of the different weapons you can use to defend yourself, you also have the power to shrink yourself down to size, allowing you access previously inaccessible areas and find some neat secrets. This is a pretty interesting concept and mechanic… at least it is IN THEORY, but here, this ability is useless to me. The only time I ever actually used this ability was in the second-to-last or last level, where I actually could not proceed without using the ability. I’m sure I probably could’ve gotten more use out of it through experimenting with several of the areas I went through, but most instances of this coming into play would only help me in getting extra points and shit like that, which I don’t really care about in this case.

Other than that though, there isn’t that much here to make the game stand out from others of its kind. There are alternating pathways that will require you to do multiple playthroughs to see all the levels, so that’s pretty cool for those who are completionists, and there are shops that you can often visit in order to purchase goodies, but most of the time for me, either I didn’t have enough money to get anything, or the stuff that they had on sale wasn’t really worth spending anything on at all. And lastly, after beating each boss, you get the chance to participate in a lottery in order to gain permanent upgrades like extra health, which was really helpful whenever I got the chance to take on that. The rest of the game is your basic arcade platformer through and through, having all the typical ups and downs of one, and while I still consider the game to be good in its own regard, it all just feels so… artificial to me, to the point where I just can’t even be bothered to care too much about it. Then again, I could also say this for a lot of the games I have played from ADK.

But of course, since this is a typical arcade platformer, it also comes with the typical arcade platformer problems you have come to expect. First and foremost, arcade syndrome does rear its disgusting, grease-covered face around the corner, with plenty of enemies being thrown at you in many different areas, but unlike something like Athena, it doesn’t feel mindless, and all the enemies feel like they belong in the places where they do spawn. It can just be a little hectic with how many there can be at once in one given area. Secondly, while most of the platformer is serviceable, there are specific parts of the game that can just straight up BLOW ME for all I care. There were at least two different times where I encountered a section where you need to jump on these moving platforms that were going from the right to the left, each row having different speeds to them, and these sections are ASS. Not only can the platforms be spaced out enough to where you need PIXEL-PERFECT jumps in order to land on them at times, but also, in terms of the second of these sections, you have barely any time to get on these platforms before either being pushed off an edge, or blocked from getting anywhere, making all of these feel like a crap shoot that isn’t fun to deal with in the slightest. Thankfully though, this only applies to these two sections, as the rest of the platforming is serviceable enough to where I can get by without complaining like a little bitch more than I already am.

Overall, despite arcade syndrome still being a blight on this Earth and some bullshit sections here or there, Blue’s Journey fits perfectly alongside plenty of the other ADK titles I have played, being a very run-of-the-mill arcade platformer that does take plenty of inspiration and ideas from plenty of different places, and has its own interesting ideas as well, but it doesn’t do enough with said ideas or inspiration to where it feels that useful or substantial, making for a decent experience, but one that I myself couldn’t care too much about. I would recommend it for those that are big into old-school arcade games, and just want something to play through in about an hour or so, but for everyone else, there are plenty of better options out there that you could go with aside from this. But, before I go, I may as well show you all what the game over screen in this game looks like, because it is guilt-trippy as FUCK. Seriously, they try their hardest to coerce you into putting more money into the machine, and when you don’t do it, not only do they call you a bad guy, but they also show the polluted wasteland that YOU caused by not putting another quarter into that machine. Well, gee, SORRY, Mr. Game, but if I want to be talked down to like I’m a tiny child, I would just go re-watch the Avatar films, ok? I don’t gotta put up your shit too.

Game #594

Was initially really worn down by the repetition but a nice curve-ball in the game's second half was not only incredibly welcome, but made the otherwise flat premise pop a good bit. It sits neatly in the collect-a-thon horror sub-genre like Slender and it's many clones, but uses recipes found throughout the house to add in some mechanical variance.

I will also say, I was a big fan of the rough assembly style of the game, mixing a lot of mediums together well to make an almost dadaist ransom note aesthetic? The style is absolutely the star here.

It's a clickable playground full of silly animations and secrets. It has small arcade games, it has non-sense spatial layout, it's got a bunch of very polite animals who give you tea and let you watch their televisions.

If you grew up on visual-gag-heavy point and clicks like Pajama Sam or Putt-Putt it's a must, but even if not The Manhole deserves attention both for its willingness to engage in play "without purpose" and its historical status as the first computer game available via CD, paving the way for other Cyan smash hit MYST to come to be.

Ghost Trick was one of the first games I put in my Amazon wish list back when I made an account in 2017. I remember a Youtuber I liked, Nintendocaprisun, streamed the game and the little I watched from the stream looked really cool. It sat in that wishlist for ages, eventually skyrocketing in price. It wasn't until last year, that I decided to bite the bullet and buy the game physically off eBay. It was expensive but it was a game I wanted to own for a while now, and I figured playing it on the DS would have been awesome. By this time, I was already a big Ace Attorney Fan, and knowing that this was another Shu Takumi game..I was pretty excited to play it. While I personally still prefer AA1 and AA3 over this, this was still a great time overall.

This game makes great use of the touch-screen. So, the basic premise of the game without going into story details, you the main character have died. You are a ghost and find out you have the ability to go back to the past, four minutes before someone has died, and have the potential to save them. You also have the ability to move to different objects and control them. You do this by going into ghost mode and moving your little wisp icon from object to object. The catch is, you can only move it a specific distance away. If something is too far away, you have to figure out how to get there by possibly interacting with the object you're on. This is called "tricking" and it can vary depending on the section of the story you're on. Some can be very simple while others you need to time specific actions in the real world. It might seem a bit confusing with how I explained however, it's very easy to understand in game. Either way, this gameplay loop is really fun and is perfect for a DS game. Near the end of the game, it also throws another character at you with some different mechanics. And it even combines the two at once and it can lead to some really fun puzzles. The game was never that hard, I never even had to look up a guide, however I never found them super easy.

Story-wise, like I said the premise is you die at the start. You play as Sissel, someone we know nothing about, and not even he knows who he is. His main goal from the start is to figure out who he is and how he dies, but along the way he meets a colorful cast of characters, and the game gets more complicated from there. Overall, I enjoyed the story and cast of characters for sure. Like Ace Attorney, they're all very distinct and can be very goofy. The main cast is very good tho I have to say I didn't connect to them as much as I do with the main cast of Ace Attorney. Probably because this game is shorter than your average AA game, and I was able to connect to that game's cast through the span of three games! Either way, while I didn't love any character here, Sissel..Lynne..Jowd..Cabanela..Missile..the entire cast is memorable and entertaining. The story is also full of twists and turns throughout. The ending may be a little convoluted imo but I think it was executed well and I did not see it coming at all. While not mind-blowing overall, I can at least commend the story and overall concept of the game for being unique. Always love seeing really out there stories like this.

This may be weird to here, but I don't think the absolute best aspect of this game is the story or the gameplay. It's the visuals. Honestly, some of the best sprite-work I've ever seen in a game. Every animation is so buttery smooth and really gives the game a lot of character. The look of each character sprite too, idk how they did it, but it has this very distinct look to it. Since the game is very goofy at times, the characters animations are goofy as well. The art style on the portraits is very distinct too tho those aren't animated. They're nice but it would have been cool if they had little animations as well, like Ace Attorney. Along with the sprites being full of personality, so is the dialogue. If you played Ace Attorney before this, you'd be right at home here. It feels just like Ace Attorney. Goofy and witty when it wants to be, serious when it wants to be, and full of heart throughout. In this regard, it may be better than Ace Attorney because I didn't notice any spelling errors lol.

The OST is probably my biggest disappointment compared to Ace Attorney tbh, especially since the AA1 composer did this game. The first Ace Attorney's ost is now in my top 10 OSTS of all time. I just love it so much, so I might've hyped myself up too much with this game. That's not to say this game has a bad soundtrack, I just don't find it comparable to the Ace Attorney games personally. Maybe I just haven't listened to the OST enough, as I know this is probably a hot take and others will disagree. Still, there were songs I did like. Four Minutes Before Death probably being my favorite since it reminded me of Ace Attorney the most haha.

I do wish I ended up liking this a bit more, especially since this game is praised so much and has a 4.5 average, however in this case I can totally see why it is as this game is really great. I guess maybe it just comes down to my personal preferences. Or maybe I'll like this even more on replay, who knows. Either way, while it seems I do prefer the Ace Attorney series more (sorry I keep comparing them, it's just hard not to with the type of game this is), this is still must-play DS game imo and worth all the praise it gets.

Taking any sort of dormant franchise and bringing it back into the “modern” era is always a risky move, no matter what the franchise in question is, but it was clear that Rare was able to pull this off seamlessly with the original Donkey Kong Country for the SNES. Sure, the bosses may have been lacking in plenty of areas, and there is some bullshit to be found when it comes to some of the secrets, but all of that is made up for with the game’s tight platformer, superb gameplay, wonderful gimmicks, impressive graphics for the time, and wonderful music, tying everything up together in one, banana-flavored package that many have enjoyed ever since it had initially released. Not only that, but the game was also extremely successful, selling over 9.3 MILLION copies, so it was clear that both Rare and Nintendo needed to keep this money train rolling with a sequel of some kind. However, this is the part of Rare’s life as a company where they were going to go through a bit of character development: they were sitting on a gold mine with this property, so they couldn’t just hash out something cheap and terrible like they did with Battletoads. They needed to make sure that this game was better than the rest, the true king of the jungle, one that can stand amongst the greatest of the greats, and personally, if you were to ask me, I think they succeeded in doing that and then some with Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest.

While I did get the original DKC as one of the first games on my SNES, and I would go onto playing it a lot because of that, I initially didn’t get DKC2 for quite some time, even though I was well aware of it existing for a while. It was only when another video game convention managed to roll through my town a good couple of years ago that I was able to snag myself a physical copy of the game to try it out, and HOT DAMN, I definitely should’ve hopped on it a lot sooner before then. The original game was already great enough as is, but this game manages to take everything that game did, expand upon it, and improve upon every criticism that I could have with that game, making for what I would say is not only a perfect sequel, but also a masterpiece of the platforming genre.

The story is just that little more complex when compared to the extremely simplistic premise of DKC 1, where while relaxing on the beach, Donkey Kong is suddenly ambushed and kidnapped by a group of Kremlings, who take him to the dastardly Kaptain K. Rool. Shortly after this, he then sends a message to the other Kongs, saying that if they want to ever see DK again, they need to give him the banana hoard that he failed to get from the previous game, which the Kongs refuse to give up, so it is up to Diddy Kong now, alongside his girlfriend Dixie Kong, to travel through the lands of Crocodile Isle, save DK, and defeat Kaptain K. Rool once and for all. It is still a very basic premise, one that decided it wanted to be even more like Mario and involve a kidnapping of some kind, but it is still an effective story, and not gonna lie, having the main character of the previous game be the one that needs rescuing in this is a bit of a nice twist.

The graphics are pretty great, looking on par with the original game in many different aspects, but also expanding on the visuals with much more creative environment, character, enemy and boss designs, with great animations paired right alongside them as well, the music is fantastic once again, having plenty of incredible tracks that range from the menacing and exciting like this one, to the much more calm and serene like this one, all of which are an absolute joy to listen to even after all this time, and the gameplay/control is just as tight, fun, and masterfully put together as last time, not only providing plenty of fun levels and gimmicks for you to mess with ahead, but also plenty of challenges ahead that will make you feel like a true champ for conquering.

The game is a 2D platformer, where you take control of either Diddy Kong once again or Dixie Kong, go through many different worlds of varying shape and size, each having a very different, unique theme that makes them stand out from each other, while also not feeling like complete copies of what came before in the previous game, defeat plenty of enemies using various techniques while gathering plenty of different bananas, collectibles, animal buddies, and power-ups along the way to help you out, run into many other members of the Kong family such as Funky Kong, who is STILL the coolest motherfucker on the planet, Wrinkly Kong, the one that reminds you of all the horrible teachers that you had back in school, and Swanky Kong, the one that will prove to you just how much of a dumbass you really are, who will each help you out in their own way (except for Cranky again, who I’m surprised hasn’t dropped dead from a heart attack at this point), and take on plenty of bosses who, unlike the last game, are not only very fun to fight, but also have a level of creativity to them that makes taking them each on feel incredibly fun and rewarding. As any good sequel does, this game takes all the great elements from the previous game and retains all of their great qualities, while expanding on them just enough to make it even better than before, and trust me, back when I first played this a long time ago after only having the original game some time, I was FLOORED by just how massive the jump in quality really was, despite not being all too clear by just looking at it.

For starters, since he is now the damsel in distress of this game, you can’t play as DK anymore, which does kinda suck, but hey, at least you still get to play as Diddy Kong, who still plays just as wonderfully as he did in that original game, being very nimble and quick. Not only that, but we now also have Dixie Kong in the crew, who when you start to play as for the first time, you will decide from there on out to ONLY play as Dixie Kong whenever you get the chance, because she is AWESOME in this game. Not only does she have all the same strengths (and weaknesses) as Diddy Kong, but she can also twirl around in the air with her hair, allowing her to safely glide over plenty of obstacles, which, by default, makes her the better character to play as. It’s just like when you discover how Peach can float in Super Mario Bros. 2: it is just broken enough to where you will stick with it for the whole game, and you will accept no other alternatives……….. except when you are forced to.

The game features just as many different kinds of levels as you would find in the original game, this time featuring plenty of new, creative gimmicks that do make it feel a lot more exciting and fun to play. Of course, at first, you just get your standard kinds of levels, where you just run through, jumping on enemies, collecting things, and watching Diddy perform a rap at the end of the stage, just as a means of getting you back into the groove of things, which it manages to do so very smoothly. This then leads onto the levels then quickly spicing things up, with levels where you will have to change the temperature of the water via some magic seals, making it so that you gotta make a mad dash through before you end up dead, levels where you have to ascend up a pirate ship quickly before the water catches up to you so that the piranhas will eat you, levels where you will have to maneuver on hot air balloons to catch hot steam over molten lava, and even levels where you are riding a roller coaster while being chased by a creepy spector, needing to hit checkmark barrels to open gates to avoid your own ghastly demise. Those are only just SOME of the gimmicks that you will encounter with the levels in this game, and they are much more fun to mess around with this time, making the game feel more like a proper evolution of what came before it other then just a simple retread.

This can also be seen in the game’s difficulty, because this game is HARD AS FUCK, even more so compared to DKC 1. Sure, there are plenty of easy levels that you will run into that will take no time to beat, but even by the second world of the game, you will be running into plenty of tricky platforming challenges, enemies that you can’t take out as easily as you would like to, gimmicks that push you to the limit in many different ways, even forcing you to play as certain animal buddies in some levels, and then you add getting the collectibles on top of that, and that adds a whole nother layer to the difficulty in many different instances. This even extends further beyond what you would expect to see from traditional video game difficulty, which can be seen with the simple aspect of saving the game, where you initially can save the game normally once in each world, but then after that one time, you then have to pay banana coins each time, making it so that you will now focus on collecting these things much more in levels, which can lead to plenty of other roadblocks as well. Hell, if that doesn’t convince you enough, how about the fact that there is an enemy in this game who, if he touches you, can zap away your lives from your life counter until you ultimately have nothing left? That is just one of the many cruel ways that this game can fuck you over if you aren’t ready.

However, with all that being said, the harsh difficulty that the game presents you with is one of the reasons why the game is so fantastic to begin with. It truly feels like you are being presented with a challenge, where the original DKC could be seen as the training grounds for you to get used to how this kind of game works and what it could throw your way, and now this game is the true test of everything you have learned, throwing whatever it can at you to kill you, while also giving you everything that you need to conquer every single challenge you face. It never feels unfair in that regard, which makes playing through these levels much more fun, especially whenever you do eventually succeed in beating some of these challenges, as the wave of satisfaction washes over you, making you feel like you truly have accomplished something here today, and that feeling carries out through most of the game.

But of course, what would a DKC game be without having some sort of collectible, and this game has plenty of them for you to find. There are still the many different bonus areas you can find, each giving you a Kremkoin for beating them, as well as the new DK coins that you can get in each level, which if you get enough of them, you can place yourself amongst the others in the Video Game Heroes Contest, allowing you to beat out Mario, Yoshi, Link, and even non-Nintendo characters like Sonic and Earthworm Jim. It’s a pretty cute easter egg to get, and it does prove once and for all that DKC is better then all of those other games, and you can’t change that fact no matter what you say. That’s not all the reward you can get though, as with the Kremkoins in hand, you can then gain access to the Lost World, a bonus world of the game that houses some of the hardest levels in the entire game, such as one level where you have to complete multiple sections as each of the animal buddies that you found throughout the whole game. Needless to say, these levels are no joke, but again, completing them only adds to the satisfaction you feel throughout, and helps you stand on top as the best Video Game Hero of all time.

Overall, if I haven’t made it clear enough at this point, this is a near-perfect sequel to the original DKC in just about every way, and one of the best games that you could find from the SNES era, not only providing many more fun levels to run through, exciting boss fights, incredible music, and gameplay that is as fresh and tight as ever, but it also provides quite a hefty challenge that feels oh so satisfying to overcome, leading to plenty of neat rewards waiting around the corner. I would absolutely recommend it, not just for those who played and loved the original DKC, but also to anyone in general, because it is just that damn good to where if you haven’t tried it out at least once, then do yourself a favor and load it up, possibly with a friend to join you, and get ready to have a blast. satisfied sigh... man, it felt great to revisit this game again after so long, and it really has me looking forward to what comes next in this series. I mean, come on, how could they possibly screw it up at this point now?............... oh right, with a stupid little fuck named Kiddie Kong, that’s how.

Game #586

We all make mistakes in life, and whenever we do make mistakes, there are many ways that we can go about either correcting these mistakes, or taking measures to prevent any more mistakes from happening in the future. One of my personal favorite ways of doing this is that, in some situations, I will have other people do something for me rather then me trying it myself, because not only am I lazy as fuck, but they will also probably do a lot better of a job then I would in whatever scenario I have landed myself in. This can even be seen with something as mundane as the Adventure Island series, where the original game, developed by Hudson Soft, was a repetitive and irritating piece of shit that nobody should ever play, so for the sequel, they went ahead and got Now Production to do that game, making for a much better and more enjoyable game as a whole. In fact, they managed to do such as good job that they were also brought back to develop the third game for the NES as well, simply just titled Adventure Island 3.

Like all of the other Adventure Island games I have covered so far, I never played this one before deciding to do so for a review, but I do remember watching this video about it a VEEEEEEERY long time ago, and from what I saw, it looked pretty fun and charming. However, that was 12 years ago, and a lot has changed, including that YouTuber becoming a dad, and me figuring out what an Adventure Island is, so I went into the game pretty much blind, and I gotta say, out of all of the Adventure Island games on the NES, this may just be the best of the bunch. It does utilize one of the practices that Hudson Soft loves repeating for their games, which does somewhat irk me, but even with that aside, it does what all good sequels do, while still keeping the main gameplay fun, challenging, and lovable all the way through.

The story once again proves that God really has it out for Master Higgins, as he and his beloved are just chilling on an island one day, happily enjoying each other’s company, when a UFO then suddenly appears out of nowhere and abducts Master Higgins’s girlfriend and takes her away, so it is up to him to set out once again to go and rescue her for the millionth time, which is about as basic of a storyline as you are gonna get from Adventure Island, so there is no point in me trying to complain about it anymore. The graphics are pretty much the exact same as the previous two games, except now with a little more detail given to the environments you go through, and LOTS of more detail given to the bosses, who look incredible for a series like this, the music is pretty enjoyable, having plenty of fun tracks to listen to while traversing through these levels, even if none of it jumps out at me as being anything too amazing, and the gameplay/control also doesn’t do that either, but it still manages to be consistent and fun enough to the point where I don’t care, and you can see slight improvements all throughout that do make a difference at the end of the day.

The game is a 2D action platformer, where you take control of the Not-So-Masterful Master Higgins, go through a set of eight different worlds each containing a good set of levels to conquer, run and jump your way through plenty of enemies and obstacles so that you don’t end up becoming some dino’s lunch, gather plenty of weapons, dino friends, and other power ups to help you fight against whatever may come your way, while also making sure to grab as much food as you can to make sure you don’t die of starvation, and defeat plenty of big bosses that are still easy, but they definitely provide more challenge than the last game’s bosses, so I will at least give them that. The word “variety” is one that makes everyone at Hudson Soft scream and hide in fear whenever they hear it, so this game is pretty much run of the mill for what fans can expect from it, but again, to its credit, it still manages to be pretty fun classic 8-bit platforming action, so I’m sure any fan of the previous games can jump in and have a blast with it.

In terms of what was actually changed with the game, the only real new additions you will find can be seen with some new power ups you can acquire throughout your journey. All of the different items, dino buddies, and weapons make a return from the previous game, which is fun to see, and we even get a new dino buddy in the form of a triceratops, and not gonna lie… he kiiiiiiinda sucks. He functions about as you would expect from a dino buddy, but his one difference is that his attack involves him rolling into a ball and slicing through enemies, which can be fun to pull off, but it also does come with the risk of getting hit shortly after, so I find that to be more of a last resort more than anything else, and I just stick with the other dinos instead. There is also a new power up that you can get which allows you to take an extra hit before dying, but aside from those two examples, there are not many new toys or gimmicks to mess around with, leading to what could be a very lifeless adventure.

However, what doesn’t make this game lifeless in the slightest is that they actually managed to fix one of the biggest pieces of criticism I had for the first two NES games: the repetition. I think the first Adventure Island game speaks for itself, and I have already complained about that game enough, but in terms of the second game, while it does definitely add a lot more variety to the stages, it does also start repeating them quite a bit by the end of the game, which makes that portion feel like a slog to play. Here, however, these repeated level designs and gimmicks are few and far between, where the themes are reused a lot, yet the layout of the levels, as well as the enemies and power ups you will find in them, are completely changed, making it so that every level, no matter how similar they may be, does feel slightly different, and it makes playing through them feel fun and interesting……….. or at least, as fun and interesting as another Adventure Island game can be.

Which does lead to the only real problem that I have with the game as a whole, and that is the severe lack of change. It’s not like I need the game to entirely shift genres or style for me to consider it a masterpiece, but a lot of it does feel like what you have already seen with Adventure Island II, which makes sense given how both were made by the same people, but still, it makes one question why they would play one over the other when they will get practically the same experience every time. I personally don’t mind this all too much, as they managed to make the main gameplay solid enough to where I usually get really excited to play and review each one of these games now, but for the casual crowd, one that typically doesn’t get into retro stuff the way that I do, there is nothing here that would warrant them coming back for more after trying one of the other games.

Overall, despite the previously mentioned lack of change, Adventure Island 3 manages to take everything that Adventure Island II did, adds a few new ingredients to the mix, and refines everything else to make for the most soldi entry in the series so far, keeping the gameplay consistently great throughout most of the game, providing plenty of fun items and buddies to mess around with, and keeping things fresh enough to where you won’t feel like you are running on a never-ending treadmill by the end game. I would definitely recommend it for those who loved the other Adventure Island games, as well as those who love old-school platformers in general, because they have certainly nailed a proper formula here now, and you can really tell when you play it for yourself. Let’s just hope that the next game does change something up to make things interesting again, because if they don’t, I am gonna probably lose my shit again…………………… see, that right there, kids, is what we call foreshadowing.

Game #587

“So, what we have here for you today is a 3D-enhanced remake of the classic arcade game, Mario Bros.,-”

“Oh, wow, that’s pretty neat!”

“-made to be released exclusively on the Virtual Boy-”

“AAAAAAAAND I’m out.”

Remake #11