It's an amusing enough follow-up to the first "Puzzle Agent," though I found a random handful of the puzzles to be considerably more inscrutable than anything in the first game. There was one instance where the animation seemed to break and replace all the characters with giant flickering black boxes, breaking the puzzles, and necessitating a restart. A few other times, I encountered visual bugs, but these had less of an impact on the gameplay.

Overall, it's more of the same, if a little more ragged around the edges (for no good reason). Passable!

As I have mentioned in length previously, Castlevania: Rondo of Blood is, without a doubt, my favorite classic Castlevania game ever made. Sure, it may get rid of some of the elements that enhanced the gameplay from Super Castlevania IV, but it makes up for it with the gameplay being as fun and challenging as ever, having plenty to do, being able to play as multiple characters, implementing slight, yet enjoyable exploration mechanics, fully animated and voiced cutscenes, and it still looked and sounded just as great as any other Castlevania game should, making it a very entertaining ride. It is just a shame though that initially, for a lot of people, we never initially got Rondo of Blood at all, with it being exclusive to the TurboGrafx-16 in Japan for 17 years before it would be released on the Virtual Console, so nobody could experience it in its true glory……. well, through legal means anyway. But, that isn’t to say we didn’t get Rondo of Blood entirely, because in order to remedy this, Konami would go on to give us a different version of the game known simply as Castlevania: Dracula X.

As a whole, this game is “technically” a remake of Rondo of Blood, made exclusively for the SNES so that it could be distributed to and played by a much wider audience then they had initially. That’s pretty cool and all, but this also comes with a problem: the SNES was much less powerful than the TurboGrafx-16, meaning that a lot of the elements that that game initially had got the axe, such as the animated cutscenes, a lot of the alternate paths, and the option to play as multiple characters. So, this game could be considered more of a demake then anything else, and it is now considered to be the worst version of Rondo of Blood that we have ever gotten, and I would have to agree with that sentiment, seeing as a lot of that game’s original fun and charm is now completely gone here. However… I wouldn’t necessarily say it is a bad game, as it is still a Castlevania game at heart, and it is still pretty fun, giving us the fun gameplay we have come to expect, along with all the wonderful visuals and tunes to go along with it.

The story is pretty much unchanged from the original game, and even then, there isn’t really much story you need to get off of this game other than “Dracula is being a dick, go whip him till he dies”, so moving on, the graphics are pretty good, being a bit of a downgrade from what we had in the original game, but it still manages to give off the same gothic feel and atmosphere that these games can usually achieve, so that is good, the music is pretty good, having plenty of classic tracks and returning tracks from Rondo of Blood that are nice to listen to, but these tracks are definitely inferior to the original, and the remixes of the classic tunes are definitely hit or miss, so I can do without them, and the gameplay/control is exactly what you would expect from not just a classicvania game, but also from Rondo of Blood, but it is made automatically worst due to it being stripped of content.

The game is still a 2D action platformer, where you take control of Richter Belmont, go through a set of seven or more stages through the many dark, dank, and dangerous parts of Dracula’s castle, battle many different, ghoulish creatures using your trusty Vampire Killer to send them back to the realm from whence they came, gather plenty of hearts, pot roast, and sub-weapons to assist you, such as the useless dagger and axe, and the much-more-useful holy water and stopwatch, and take on plenty of big, terrifying monsters as bosses, who will try their best to take you out in anyway they can, even though they don’t put up much of a fight, and you can take them out easily. If you have played any other Castlevania prior to this, especially Rondo of Blood, you know what you are getting into with this game, and while it does have one or two differences to make it somewhat stand out in comparison, you wouldn’t be blamed for saying that this is one of the most run-of-the-mill titles in the series as a result.

In terms of gameplay, there are almost no new additions to the series to make it stand out from the rest, as the game sticks pretty heavily to that of the classicvania formula, where ya power-walk, ya whip things, ya get weapons, ya eat meat out of a random wall, and ya kill Dracula for the millionth time. It all plays like you would expect it to, and it comes with all the hardships that you would expect to see from a classicvania game as well, such as some bullshit enemy placement and very high difficulty for those who aren’t used to how one of these games work, but it still manages to be pretty enjoyable for the most part. And hey, even though most of the unique elements from Rondo of Blood was stripped from this version of this game, there were some parts left in that make the game somewhat more interesting and replayable, even if by a small margin. Just like the original game, there are alternate levels and branching paths that you can find in the levels, and they can be a bit tricky to find, encouraging some brief instances of experimentation to find these stages. There aren’t that many of these for you to find, and the ways that you find one of them is pretty bass-ackwards, but they are there just in case you wanna get some more out of this game.

And speaking of getting more out of this game, there is one key difference between this version of the game and Rondo of Blood, and this can be seen with the game’s endings. Just like in Rondo of Blood, not only are you tasked with going to take down Dracula, but you can also go to rescue the two maidens, Annette and Maria, that are captured within the castle. Depending on who you save, or even if you don’t save them at all, this will change the ending that you get in the game, with the endings themselves having….. almost no differences between each other, aside from the picture that you get to look at when the credits roll, but hey, at least it is something for going out of your way, so I’ll give it credit for that.

With all of that being said though, even if we take into account all of the features this game kept, and the fact that it still plays and feels just as fun as a typical Castlevania game, there is nothing that can save this game from what it truly is: a butchered version of Rondo of Blood. Sure, it does keep a lot of the central elements of Castlevania alive and well, and it is an impressive conversion of that game for the SNES, but considering all of the stuff that got left out of the original game, as well as the fact that not much else was added to compensate for that, then there is absolutely no reason for anyone to play this game over the original. This is even more true now especially since Rondo of Blood has been ported worldwide to modern consoles multiple times, making that the most viable option rather then trying to seek this one out.

Overall, despite the gameplay still being pretty solid and having several key elements that most other Castlevania games before this didn’t have, this is not only the worst Castlevania game to come out of the 16-bit era for the series, but also just a pretty bland entry in general, being stripped away of most of the content that made the original game that much more lovable and appealing in the first place, while offering not much else that you couldn’t get from any other Castlevania game released before that point. I would only recommend it for those who are huge fans of Castlevania, as they could get a decent amount of fun out of it, but for everyone else, if you want to play this chapter of the series, play Rondo of Blood, because this version offers nothing that that version already has. It’s such a shame too, especially considering at how this was the only way Americans could experience this game for the longest time… but hey, at least it isn’t as bad as some of the other blunders that this series has had so far! Looking at you, Adventure and Haunted Castle.

Remake #14

Why do I get the feeling the little monsters at the school used to be children???

I must say, if, like me, you hate tank controls, then playing tank controls on analogue isn't quite as bad. I'm actually enjoying this and I did not expect to at all.

I think what set this game apart from Resident Evil is the semi-openness of the town. It's not "open world" or anything but it is large enough to feel like an explorable space and also... get very lost in. For a PS1 game, Silent Hill is a fairly large town. The RE games definitely felt a bit more claustrophobic, but then you have perpetual fog and darkness which also add claustrophobia to this as well.

Most of the design philosophy that makes SH2 such a great experience is already prevalent in this game. It's certainly not quite as cinematic or weird, but nuances were harder to approach with early 3D (MGS certainly tried though). I view this as a very necessary stepping stone to the amazing SH2, Akira Yamaoka is there, the general gameplay feel is there, but it would all be perfected the next time. (Actually combat in SH2 is just as blah if not worse, but I could give a rat's ass about combat in that game, I would have been fine without it even)

I tried this game a long time ago and wasn't feeling it. After beating SH2 I wanted to dive right into SH3, but then of course I find out that that's a direct sequel to SH1, so I finally came back to this and wasn't particularly looking forward to it. But it's a solid game. I'm glad I could get over my initial impression of it.

Damn, that ending was pretty wild. Probably going to need to read a few plot analyses to fully grasp, but this game goes full on into the occult.

And finally, that "cast roll" at the very end is one of the greatest things ever. Cool game!

While the first few titles in the Bomberman series were pretty middling on their own, since they just gave us the basic gameplay with no more extra bells and whistles to make it more exciting or preferable over other titles, Super Bomberman thankfully came along to reignite that spark that Bomberman desperately needed. It may not have done anything too new or extraordinary for the time, and had some annoyances here or there, but it managed to deliver the classic Bomberman gameplay that you have come to expect, enhanced by the new coat of paint and music, and changed up just enough to where it made for a very satisfying and fun time throughout playing through it. Not only that, but it did manage to become successful enough to where it would spawn an entire sub-series that is still going on to this day, and it was no surprise that we would see the sequel to this game in just one year, with it simply being known as Super Bomberman 2.

It has been a good while since I did play and review the original Super Bomberman, so I was actually pretty excited to go into this game. There was no way that it was gonna be a masterpiece by any means, or even be able to top the original game most likely, but as long as it managed to deliver just as much fun gameplay and changes as it did in the previous game, I was gonna be all in for it. Thankfully, this was almost entirely the case, as on its own, Super Bomberman 2 was a pretty good game, giving us plenty more about what made the original game so great, while also expanding upon it in several ways to where you could say it is definitely better then the original game….. even though I wouldn’t.

The story is fairly basic for a Bomberman title, where an evil group known as the Five Dastardly Bombers are sent to Planet Bomber with the intent of taking it, and the universe, over, managing to capture the White Bomberman and imprisoned in their space fortress, so it is up to the White Bomberman to escape this prison, storm their fortress, and take down the Dastardly Bombers before it is too late, which is as basic as one of these games can get for a story, but I will admit, the Five Dastardly Bombers are much cooler villains then Carat Diamond ever was, and I hope they keep appearing more and more as the series goes on. The graphics are… almost the exact same as the original game, with there being some changes made to the HUD and some elements in the stages, but that’s about it, which is fine for me, seeing as the game still looks just as wonderful as ever, the music is still pretty sweet, still having a good amount of tracks that I did like such as this one and this one, but I will admit, the tracks didn’t grow on me as much as they did in the first game, which kind of sucks, and the gameplay/control is the exact same as every other game in this franchise, but just like its predecessor, it does add several new elements to make it more exciting than before yet again.

The game is an isometric maze game, where you take control primarily of the White Bomberman, go through five different worlds throughout the space prison, each containing their own set of levels for you to go through, use the limitless supply of bombs that you carry with you to destroy everything in your path, such as debris, enemies, or whatever else you could think of, while also making sure not to destroy yourself in the process, gather plenty of different power ups to assist you in your ongoing quest, with thankfully no other power ups that can be a detriment to you (thank god), and take on plenty of bosses, ones that are fairly difficult if you aren’t prepared and don’t know how Bomberman works, but should be easy enough to deal with once you figure them out. Once again, we have a pretty typical Bomberman experience through and through, ones that onlookers would just dismiss as yet another copy-n-paste entry in the series, but to its credit, not only does it add in just enough to make the game interesting, but it also manages to still provide that same level of excitement and satisfaction that I felt from the first game… almost.

If you are one who did play through the first Super Bomberman, or even any other Bomberman up to this point, you know how this goes: ya go through a bunch of stages, ya blow dudes up, ya get powers, ya blow yourself up, and ya get terrified by this thing (skip to 4:49), it’s all just another day at the office at this point. However, from the start of the game, you will notice plenty several changes to the formula immediately, mainly when it comes to the levels. No longer will you be stuck traversing through the same, box-shaped arenas over and over again, for now the levels all have different layouts, each being pretty different from the last, and these different level layouts also integrate gimmicks that wasn’t seen in any other game beforehand, such as moving platforms and trampolines to bounce on. Not only do these provide a refreshing change of pace from what we had in most other games beforehand, but it also provides different opportunities for puzzles and challenges, making the game much more interesting to go through as a result.

With this new change in terms of how the levels are laid out also comes a new way that you are meant to proceed forward in every stage, with you needing to not only eliminate all of the enemies and finding the exit (even though most of the time it is plain as day), but you will also be tasked with activating all of the switches in said levels to make the doors open in the first place, with there being plenty of instances where you need to actively blow up everything around you just to find these switches and enemies. It can be tedious at times, but for the most part, it does feel pretty rewarding to go through, especially when you are able to hold onto a lot of the powerups you get throughout the game. And of course, this wouldn’t be a Bomberman game without some sort of Battle Mode, which this game definitely has, bringing about the same chaotic 4-player mayhem you have come to expect, along with some new gimmicks to implement into the games to spice things up. Once again, Battle Mode is not my cup of tea, but it is still good to see it there for those that love them.

However, as a whole, I don’t think I can say with confidence that this game is any better than that of the original Super Bomberman, because not only is the jump in quality here not that much of a substantial or standout factor of the game, but there were several bits of frustration that can be seen all throughout. Given that this is the first game to have these kinds of layouts for stages in a Bomberman game, they aren’t perfect by any means, making some of the stages, as well as the gimmicks in said stages, pretty aggravating to get a handle on. Once such case I found myself facing time and time again would be with the trampolines I mentioned earlier, and while you can easily get a grasp on what you are supposed to do with them, sometimes the levels will lay these out in the most asshole-ish way possible, making you have to pull some magic shit on your D-pad in order to properly get over huge gaps, which more then not turns out to be a complete gamble that will ultimately lead to your death. Also, unlike the original game, there is no option to play with a friend in the story mode, which is pretty shitty. I wasn’t gonna play this game with anybody either way, so that wasn’t too much of a big deal to me, but for those who did play through the original game’s main mode with a friend, I can only imagine how disappointing having this feature removed is.

Overall, despite the annoying stages and puzzles here or there, as well as the removal of some features that really should’ve been left in, Super Bomberman 2 still manages to be a pretty good game all the way throughout, providing the same explosive action I have come to know and love, plenty of different and fun levels to traverse through, and the same amount of charm and quality that made me love the original game so much. I would definitely recommend it for those who loved the original Super Bomberman, or for those who are fans of Bomberman in general, because while it, once again, probably doesn’t compare to later entries in the series, it still manages to be simple and fun all the same, which is all that anyone could ask for at the end of the day. But man, now that I managed to get that out of the way, I can’t wait to get my hands on the third game! Let me just go and get a copy and- oh….. it was never released in the USA……. and neither was most of the other Super Bomberman games for that matter……… welp… puts on pirate hat we all know what I have to do now.

Game #609

The next game in this Zelda marathon, A Link to the Past, is a breath of fresh air. While I didn't particularly like Zelda 1, and I definitely didn't like Zelda II, this game was different. This was one of the first Zelda games I played I believe, yet this was only my 2nd time fully beating it. I had seen plenty of randomizers before, but I haven't fully beaten this game in like 10 years. As I stated, this game was a breath of fresh air because, as opposed to the first two games, A Link to the Past is really great.

This game ditches the side-scrolling platformer adventure RPG Zelda II went for and is more in line with how Zelda 1 does things. It's top down again, there are no more RPG mechanics like Zelda II and the game isn't absolutely brutal like Zelda II. In fact, it's easier than the first game, tho I still died weirdly often funnily enough. Anyways this is all for the better as the direction Zelda II was going in, just did not do it for me at all.

The story this time around, and it focuses more on its story than the first two games, actually takes place before Zelda I and II. Before the events of the game happen, Ganondorf manages to open the gateway to the Sacred Realm where the Triforce is hidden away and he obtains the Triforce for himself. Knowing he was evil and this would lead to catastrophe, the king of Hyrule ordered seven sages to seal the gateway up along with Ganondorf inside. A long battle ensues but, in the end, the gateway was sealed. Many years later, horrible events start occurring and so the king of Hyrule believes it to be related to the sages seal. Finding out it was not that, he puts out a reward for anyone that can help him with these troubles. A wizard named Agahnim comes alone, seemingly fixing these troubles with his magic. He becomes close to the king and all is well for a while. However shortly after, people start to suspect something is wrong with Agahnim. He starts abusing his power. He eventually casts spells on all the soldiers to turn them evil, and kidnaps maidens that were descended from the sages, using their powers to try to open the seal himself. The game then officially starts, with Link having to save Zelda from the dungeon of Hyrule castle. Once Link saves her, she and him meet up with the priest of a nearby sanctuary and he tells you some of the details I just told you. It's now Link's job to get 3 pendants to obtain the Master Sword, eventually having to rescue the maidens (and Zelda she gets kidnapped too) from each of the dungeons that reside in the Dark World and in the end defeating Ganon. That was a lot but yeah this game is more story-focused than the other two and I like that. The story isn't mind-blowing, and I think Ocarina of Time honestly did the story way better since it's pretty similar to this game's but it's still a solid first attempt at this type of Zelda story.

Actually, getting into the gameplay tho, it's basically Zelda 1 but more polished. It's more linear than that game and holds your hand more but is also more engaging. You actually have a map for the overworld and there are always markers showing you where you need to go next. Some might see this as maybe too hand-holdy, but compared to Zelda 1's cryptic and more directionless nature, I'll take this any day over that. Another thing this game does better with its overworld is the secrets. Gone is every secret being a completely random bush to burn or wall to blow up. If there are bombable walls, they have a crack in them to indicate they can be blown up. Outside of that, the secrets are way more different. Sometimes you'll have to fall in a hole or well to end up in a cave and to get rupees or pieces of heart. (That's another change too, pieces of heart are now a thing, and you have to get 4 to make a full heart container). Sometimes you have to use the dark and light world to your advantage and switch between both to get secrets. Sometimes there are little minigames you can play to get items like pieces of heart. The secrets and ways you get items in the overworld are just so much more interesting here compared to the randomness in Zelda 1. There's a reason future Zelda's stuck with this format.

Dungeons this time around are more fleshed out and are more puzzle-like. Instead of having to push a block, find keys and maybe bomb some walls, A Link to the Past introduces many new concepts in its dungeons. One dungeon you're going in and out constantly through entrances in the overworld. Another is full of ice and thus the palace has ice physics. Another involves you having to use an item to create a platform on some tracks, letting you ride them to your destination. These never feel too gimmicky either and always come naturally. The dungeons are great in this game, far better than Zelda 1 and 2's, but I can't say I absolutely love them. Some are better than others (Skull Woods gave me big issues for some reason) and I generally prefer 3D Zelda dungeons more just because they usually have much more distinct aesthetic to them compared to these. Still tho, these dungeons are very enjoyable..especially the endgame ones. Tho Ganon's tower is brutal I gotta say lol.

The items you get from the dungeons, and I guess outside of them too, are pretty solid tho some are situational. The hookshot became very iconic from this game onwards and is used a lot in the 2nd half of the game. The bow and arrow, while not used a ton in this game, is fun and also became iconic. The hammer has its uses throughout the game but is pretty situational. The medallions damage enemies, tho I never really used them for that purpose much, and otherwise are only required very rarely. This game introduced bottles which are a nice addition as you can store faries in them to revive Link. This game does have several kind of forgettable items and also situational ones you won't use outside of battle or even often at all, but it also introduces some series staples as well, so I'd say it was a good selection of items overall.

The bosses at the end of dungeons are generally really good. They're all distinct visually, and some are even iconic enough to appear in future Zelda titles. Arrghus for example, basically reappears in Majora's Mask under the name Wart. Moldorm appears as a boss in Link's Awakening and A Link Between Worlds. The bosses are generally good, tho sometimes they can be a bit annoying. Mothula for example is incredibly hard without magic and the fire rod. Even with that, it's still difficult because of all the spike blocks in its room. Trinexx you basically NEED to have magic, the fire and ice rod, to even attack it or else you're shit out of luck. The game tells you a couple times throughout the game, when you'll basically need a green potion for a dungeon. They aren't kidding either. Cuz, I had a red or green potion almost every time before I started a dungeon. Luckily rupees are incredibly easy to get in this game, maybe the easiest game to rack up rupees, and a shop that sells green and red potions has a warp next to it which is handy (oh yeah, I forgot to mention you can warp with the ocarina once you get the song to summon the bird which is extremely helpful to warp throughout the Light World). Either way, besides some frustrating ones, the bosses are overall a big improvement from the first two games.

I mentioned the Dark World before and yeah, that's this games big thing. A ways into the game, you obtain the mirror. When you're in the Dark World, Link will turn into a bunny. When he uses the mirror tho, he can go back to the light world and leaves a little warp on the floor that he can use to go back to the Dark World. There are also several warps naturally strewn across the world that Link can use to warp to the Dark World if need be. Anyways, the reason Link is a bunny in the Dark World is because anything that's there morphs into a monster or an animal or whatever. Link cannot attack as a Bunny, but as soon as he first goes go to the Dark World, the dungeon that appears not even a minute after that happens holds the Moon Pearl. This let's Link go to the Dark World without turning into a bunny. Personally, since there's almost nothing in between you first going to the Dark World and getting the Moon Pearl, I would've liked if you got the moon pearl a bit later since it kind of felt pointless that you turn into a bunny only to not have to worry about that pretty much ever soon after. That's a minor nitpick tho, just something I thought about with this replay. Anyways, the whole Light World Dark World gimmick is very well done here, and it leads to some really cool secrets throughout the game.

The OST is great this time around. Zelda 1 already had a very solid soundtrack, and not only does this game have a new an improved version of the overworld theme, it also has some awesome new tracks along with some that become series staples. Zelda's theme makes its first appearance here and its a fantastic version of the song. Both the Dark World theme and the Dark World dungeon theme are also fantastic and fit the darker atmosphere the Dark World provides. This is even the first appearance of the Kakariko Village theme and as someone that played OOT before this game, I always thought that was very fascinating lol. Anyways this game's ost is iconic for a reason and has some of the best songs in the series.

While I did list a couple minor issues I had with this game, this truly is a massive step-up from the prior games. There's a big reason this is a classic and is still played today (whether it's the vanilla version or with randomizers). Now I do prefer Ocarina of Time personally, tho I guess I won't truly know until I replay that next, but if I'll give anything to this game over Ocarina, it's the fact the pacing is way faster and its a lot easier to just dive in and replay. That and visually it does look a lot cleaner. Anyways, I was going to play the CDI games, but I realized the hassle to get an emulator working for them wouldn't have been worth it for how supposedly bad they are. So, Link's Awakening DX is next in this marathon, look forward to that review coming soon!!

You all remember Sideshow Bob? Y’know, that guy that tried to frame Krusty for murder, but then was exposed by Bart, getting him arrested, and from then on out, he has sworn to kill Bart by any means necessary if it’s the last thing he does? Well, if you don’t know him, then allow me to introduce myself, because I am now Backloggd’s Sideshow Bob, since I wanna FUCKING KILL BART! But hey, you know what, that’s some pretty negative thinking right there, so you know what, let me put my murderous tendencies aside for a second. What we need here is to cover a Simpsons game that DOESN’T star Bart whatsoever to calm me down. Bart can be in it, of course, but as long as we don’t play as him in any way, then we should be fine, and I think I have found a couple of games that fulfill that role. So, let’s go ahead and check out this first title, which is exhaustingly known as The Simpsons: Itchy & Scratchy in Miniature Golf Madness.

For those that somehow don’t know, Itchy & Scratchy are cartoon characters in the Simpsons world who are pretty much just extremely violent and gory versions of Tom and Jerry, and somehow, they managed to get their own set of video games right alongside Bart. I mean, hey, why not, right? They were probably one of the most popular aspects of the show, especially with kids, so why not slap their face on a few games as well, just to keep milking that dead-ass cow on the ground over there. So, their first video game outing is a golfing game on the Game Boy, which is definitely a great sign, and after playing it, I can actually say that…… it’s actually ok? In fact, dare I say, the game might actually be GOOD! Holy shit, this only happens once in a million years, us getting a good Simpsons game like this!.......... ok, that may be stretching it a little bit, but still, for what we got here, it manages to be pretty competent enough, and it doesn’t make me wanna throw my Game Boy at a wall, so that is great news!

The story is…… well, there is no story actually, as the game is pretty much just one long, Itchy & Scratchy cartoon about golf, which is all the plot that I need to go off of, cause I am a fan of violence, and if there is one thing these guys do right, it’s VIOLENCE. The graphics are Game Boy graphics, but the sprites for the characters and environments look decent enough, except for some of the weird animations, such as Scratchy’s terrifying victory animation (skip to 3:40), the music is par for the course for a Simpsons game (Wow, that was such a good joke), where they just play one track for pretty much the entire game, and while the track is a good one, I just wanna hear some different songs every once in a while, and the gameplay/control is… somewhat decent, with it managing to mix together these genres rather well, and it isn’t infuriating to the point of me wanting to scream, so this is an improvement here.

The game is a 2D platfomer/golf game, where you take control of Scratchy, go through a set of 9 different holes, each with their own generic theme to make them stand out from one another, putt your ball all the way to the end of each obstacle course while making sure not to putt too many times so that you can get a good score, defeat the many Itchys that will come for you using either your trusty golf club or whatever other weapons you can find, and have a brief sense of terror flash through you, as Bart appears in the title card for each hole, but nowhere else in the game, which makes you breathe a sigh of relief. It is a bit of a weird combination of genres to be sure, especially for around this time, but they actually manage to blend together well, and it makes the gameplay actually somewhat enjoyable, even if it can get pretty repetitive and annoying in plenty of instances.

Since this is primarily a golf game, your one main concern should be getting your ball all the way to the finishing hole, and the game doesn’t make this easy for you, but at the same time, it doesn’t feel impossible either. Each level has plenty of different hazards and layouts that you have to work around with your sick golfing skills, and while some of these can be pretty annoying to work around, especially given where your ball is placed, but for the most part, it is pretty manageable and fun to work out these different putts and make it all the way to the end. What doesn’t help this out though is the Itchys, because HOLY FUCK, these guys are everywhere, and they are RELENTLESS. It only takes one hit to kill you, so whenever these guys see you, they automatically make a mad dash towards you, and you have to be quick on the draw to either dodge or fight back, otherwise you are down one life. What doesn’t help either is that, in plenty of instances, you are given very little chance to fight back before it is too late, which becomes extremely annoying, especially in the later stages. Thankfully, when you die, you respawn back where you died, so it only really becomes a burden whenever you get a game over.

But really, at the end of the day, there isn’t much more to the game than what I have told and shown you. You just golf around for 9 holes, and then you are done, which I would complain about, but in this case, it is definitely for the best. A lot of these old Simpsons games suffer from having too much variety in their gameplay, whether by having a bunch of poorly designed segments put together that you can barely get through, or by having minigame collections that aren’t really all that good in the slightest. Thankfully though, most of this game has consistent design, giving you a gradual sense of difficulty for each stage, and obstacles that don’t feel like they were made to hit you no matter what (aside from the Itchys, they can burn in Hell).

There are definitely some annoying courses here or there, especially the underwater level that can send you quite a ways back if you don’t know what you are doing, but then again, that is par for the course in a golf game, so I can’t really be too mad at it, and instead, just blame my natural disdain towards golf. Also, you gotta respect how they managed to keep the violence present in this game, with some of it being pretty graphic for this kind of game. I get it, it’s based on The Simpsons, so it is allowed to be violent, but considering that this was marketed towards kids, I thought they would’ve taken out the violence entirely, but thankfully, I was wrong about that. So now we can all happily chop and massacre all the mice we want, and nobody can tell us otherwise!

Overall, despite how annoying the Itchys can be, this was actually a surprising golf game, all things considered, and it is definitely one of the best Simpsons games of this era, with some decent courses to take on, some nice weapons to mess around with, and keeping the overall zanyness and insanity of Itchy & Scratchy alive and well through its simplistic means. I would actually recommend this to those who are fans of golf games, as well as those who don’t mind some jank here and there, because despite how I think the game is merely just ok, it definitely is much better then you would think it is, and it would definitely be fun to mess around with for 10 minutes or so. Now, with all of that out of the way, this right here, ladies and germs, is definitive PROOF that Bart is the sole problem with these Simpsons games! For every game that he has been the star in, they have turned out garbage, but whenever they take him out of the starring role and replace him with someone else, it turns out to be somewhat decent! So now, for every single other Simpsons game we ever have, we just need to get rid of Bart entirely. It will get 10s across the board every time, I promise you.

Game #608

Faster, more stylish, and with a few cooler bosses, Desperate Struggle is a great follow up that gets tangled up in a lot of loose narrative moves that will likely remove some investment from players coming from the first game. That isn't to say it's bad by any means, but if NMH1 is a celebrated b-movie, Desperate Struggle is its junk food straight to DVD follow up. It's beloved and for great reason, but is definitely focused on being a fun game first and having a strong direction second. Excited to see how this entry shapes Travis Strikes Back and NMHIII as I get around to them.

From an outsider’s perspective, X-Men: Children of the Atom could’ve just been another generic X-Men game in a sea of them that were coming out around the early to mid 90s, but thanks to the fact that it was developed by Capcom, it turned out to be a very fun and really well made fighter that both fighting game fanatics and X-Men fans in general would be able to play and adore for many years. That in itself was pretty good, but little did most people know back then that this little game, being as good as it was, would ignite some sort of spark, ensuring that, from this point on, Marvel and Capcom would have a very steady partnership over the years, making some truly fantastic games together that would go onto be beloved by many ever since they were released. This potential could be seen within Children of the Atom already, but this spark wasn’t truly going to shine until the release of the next Marvel arcade fighter, Marvel Super Heroes.

Much like with Children of the Atom, I hadn’t really known much about this game before giving it a shot for myself, but nonetheless, I was still really excited to try this one out, seeing as Capcom was still behind it, and given how great the previous Marvel fighting game from them was, I knew I was gonna be in for a treat. Not to mention, unlike that last game, this one actually had some Marvel characters I actually gave a damn about, like Spider-Man and Iron Man, so that had me sold immediately. So, I tried it out for myself and, to my surprise, it was even better than I anticipated, because this game fucking rocks in every sense of the word, providing the fast, flashy, and energetic combat I was hoping, along with the love and care a game like this would need to truly stand amongst all the others.

The story is pretty simple for a Marvel game, where a bunch of Marvel heroes and villains start battling out to try to claim the Infinity Stones, but little do they know, Thanos is also working towards getting these colorful gems for himself, all in an effort to try to take over the universe, so naturally, it is up to the heroes and villains of the Marvel universe to stop Thanos from fulfilling his goal, which is a pretty simple premise, but one that is made all the more enjoyable through the absolute insanity that goes on within the game itself. The graphics are GORGEOUS, having wonderfully made and beautifully animated sprites for every single character that you play as and fight against, with plenty of sweet locations, visual effects, and cutscenes to add to that level of quality, with it all looking fantastic even to this day, the music is pretty great as well, being just as catchy, snappy, and energetic as you would hope for, which are wonderfully complimented by the sound effects, which are just crisp and crunchy enough to be incredible to listen to, and the gameplay/control is, for the most part, what you have come to expect from your typical fighting game, but the dial was clearly turned up to 100 when making this game, making it even more fast-paced, satisfying, and fun as ever.

The game is your typical one-on-one fighting game, where you take control of one of 13 different Marvel heroes and villains, unlockable or otherwise, take on plenty of opponents in many different locations across the Marvel universe that vary quite drastically from each other in one way or another, throw out many different punches, kicks, grabs, combos, and special moves against your opponents at just the right time to get their health bar all the way down to nothing, jump, block, and dodge whenever absolutely necessary to ensure that you sustain minimal damage in the fight to reign supreme, and reign supreme as you bask in the knowledge of being the ultimate Marvel Super Hero or Super Villain amongst all the others, while enjoying an ending suitable for you depending on what character you choose. Everything you would expect to see in a fighting game is here, with that extra Marvel spice dumped all over it to give it its own identity, while also given the proper punch in the gut to be as fast, fun, and action-packed as possible, making for, without a doubt, the best Marvel game that I have played and reviewed on this website so far.

Anyone who loves these characters and fighting games to some capacity, or even those that aren’t too big on either, could easily jump into this game, as right from the get-go, once you first start your first match, the game gives you plenty to work with with each respective character that you can play as, giving a fairly easy match that can actually trip you up when you aren’t careful, followed by plenty of other matches that do increase in difficulty gradually, but not to the point where it feels impossible by the end. Well… except for Thanos, he can be a bitch and a half to fight, but then again, most fighting game final bosses are. Not only that, but you also get all of the tools you would want to see from one of these games, including combos, grabs, special moves, and super moves, but amongst all of that, there is one new element that makes this game stand out from all the rest: the Infinity Stones.

Throughout the game, you will gain access to these, and when you input the proper command, you can use these to your advantage, giving you a temporary boost in battle that will assist you in some way, to make fighting against your opponents much easier then before. Not only that, but in terms of what the Infinity Stones can do, there is quite a lot here, from making you faster, giving you more health, increasing your defense, and of course, making you more all-powerful to annihilate your opponent into submission. In addition, with each character, you can also get different kinds of effects from the Infinity Stones depending on who you play as, which not only makes it so that you want to experiment with everyone, seeing what all of these different stones can do for you, but it also adds an entirely new layer of strategy and planning to battles, making you think of when you should use it, when your opponent will use it, and most importantly, making sure that they don’t get their hands on the stones as well. The only real downside to these is that you can’t really swap between them in a match, and you have to use the first one that it selects for you, but that is only a minor inconvenience with the amount you can do with these things.

With all that out of the way though, if you were expecting this game to innovate on the genre in any way, shape, or form, then that is definitely not what you are going to get here. It is pretty simple in terms of what you do, for you have an arcade mode where you go up against all of your opponents in a randomly-generated sequence, and you have the VS mode for when you feel like beating the shit out of your friends… y’know, the typical stuff you would see here. That in itself could be seen as a turn-off for those that are getting sick of the typical arcade fighter formula, but for those who are big Marvel fans, as well as those who love these kind of fighters, they probably won’t care one way or another, as the game manages to be fun and energetic enough to where I really didn’t care about that sort of thing at the end of the day, and I was just having a grand ol’ time.

Overall, despite a minor lack of change in terms of content, this is definitely the best Marvel fighting game that I have played so far, having the exact look, feel, and energy that a comic-based fighter like this should have, the extremely fast and fun gameplay that I can’t get enough of with these type of games, and just enough changes to the typical fighter formula that makes it that much more fun to mess around and experiment with. I would absolutely recommend it, not just for fans of Marvel and fighting games, but for anyone in general, because while it isn’t gonna blow you away in terms of what it can do for fighting games, it will leave enough of an impression to where you will have a great time with it, because I certainly did, and I personally can’t wait to play the next one of these in the future. And oh boy, they are certainly gonna go above and beyond with the next one, let me tell you……. not only is it gonna be that much more fun and exciting….. but it’s also gonna remove most of the Marvel characters from this game!................ what, isn’t that what you wanted?

Game #607

A long time ago, I decided to take a ride on the wild side by checking out the very first title in the Fantasy Zone series, and I still cannot believe how much fun I ended up having with that game at the end of the day, because it is genuinely a wonderful time. Sure, the last stage may have been a pain in my own fantasy zone, but most of the game was very unique for a shmup at the time, both in terms of presentation and gameplay, and it managed to keep things entertaining and engaging with its simple, yet fun combat, the rewards you can get from both killing enemies and the shops you come across, and some pretty fun boss fights that do keep you on your toes at all times. However, because I don’t like having fun, I hadn’t played any other game in the series after that experience I had with the first title, but now, THAT’S FINALLY GONNA CHANGE! Because today, ladies and gentlemen, I actually took the time to sit down and play the second game in this series, Fantasy Zone II: The Tears of Opa-Opa.

So, admittedly, the reason why I didn’t play this game soon after I did the first one was because I thought I would encounter my worst fears when it comes to playing the sequel to any shmup I have played so far, and that is that it would change up nothing, and be boring as a result. I REALLY didn’t want to feel that way about Fantasy Zone, as I did end up really loving my time with the first game, so it put me off on the sequel for quite a while. However, I figured it was about time to finally bite the bullet, so I played through the second game, and…….. yeah, no, this shit STILL fucking rocks, dude. It is just as good as the original Fantasy Zone, if not BETTER in some aspects, and while I can’t say it doesn’t need any improvements, it was great to finally check out this game and have a blast with it as a result.

The story is very basic for this kind of sequel, where it has been 10 years since the events of Fantasy Zone, and Opa-Opa is still recovering from having to face his father at the end of the last game, when suddenly, he hears that the new Nenon Forces are invading the Fantasy Zone and spreading chaos wherever they please, so it is up to Opa-Opa to set out once again to take them all down, which is, once again, a fairly simple set-up for a sequel, but the way that it is presented with this adorable little ship does make it a lot more appealing, especially with another element to it I will get into later. The graphics are… pretty much unchanged from the first game, which does kind of suck, but it still looks pretty good regardless, full of plenty of pretty colors everywhere and great enemy and boss designs, the music is pretty good, mostly consisting of plenty of bright, fun, and bouncy tunes, but some of them can be menacing when they need to be, and they were all very pleasant to listen to, and the gameplay/control is pretty much the exact same from last time as well, which I would complain about, but that would make me a certified Fantasy Zone Hater, and I don’t wanna be anything close to that.

The game is a horizontal shooter, where you take control of Opa-Opa once again, go through a set of 8 different zones, each one being just as colorful, vibrant, and dangerous as the last, shoot down any of the adorable creatures coming your way while you make sure to destroy the main bases so that you can proceed forward, gather plenty of money so that when a shop appears, you can go in and purchase either temporary or permanent upgrades for yourself like upgraded shots, more powerful bombs, and boosts in speed, and take on plenty of whacky bosses that will not only still challenge you in plenty of ways, but will also differentiate from each other in terms of what they do and how you have to go about defeating them, implementing another layer of complexity to these fights….. even if they aren’t complex at all. You all have seen this from Fantasy Zone 1 to some extent, which could make this feel like a pretty pointless sequel, but I am way too busy having fun to care about that sort of thing, as the gameplay is still just as addicting and satisfying as ever before.

It truly does feel wonderful to just get into the groove of a game like this, y’know? You have a simple objective, you know exactly how to go about it, and your main concern is getting as powerful as you can, so you spend as much time getting all the money as you do taking out all of the foes, getting all of the best gear, and then going out to clear through the game like a CHAMP! It’s the best kind of way to approach any game like this, and I was having a great time through the whole thing. Not only that, but there are some new elements to this game to make it stand out from the original, and by that, I mean only one new element is here: the warps. Whenever you defeat certain bases, they will uncover warp gates that you can go into, which take you into a different version of the stage that is slightly altered by appearance and the enemies that you will fight in there. This does… pretty much nothing to change the main gameplay around, but depending on what zone you clear these stages in, it does determine what ending you get at the end of the game, which does make for some good replayability for those that wanna see everything that this game has to offer, even if I’m not so key on going for it myself.

However, despite how much fun I was having with this Fantasy Zone revisit, I can’t say that that will be the case with everyone, because this is, in many ways, just Fantasy Zone 1 again. Yeah, it’s got new bosses, some slightly interesting and new gimmicks, and multiple endings, but aside from that, it is your same ol’ Fantasy Zone affair, meaning that if you didn’t like what you got in the first game, you aren’t gonna like this one either. Also, whaddya know, the Boss Rush Last Stage makes a return in this game too, so that really throws a damper on my fantasy zone, but y’know what, I actually… didn’t mind it all that much this time? Maybe it was because I was more skilled at the game and killing the bosses more quickly, but that doesn’t make it any less of an annoying boss rush, especially with some of the new bosses added in having some pretty dirty tactics to take you out……. fucking spiders, man…

Overall, despite a lack of change and that final boss rush still being a blight on this series, Fantasy Zone II still manages to be just as fun and enjoyable as the original Fantasy Zone in just about every way, having a simple, yet VERY effective set of gameplay that was able to hook me in immediately, plenty of powerups to get and try out, and many challenges ahead that make you feel like a true champ for overcoming them. I would definitely recommend it for those who loved the first game, or for those who want a new shmup to play, because while I can’t say it is for everyone, it definitely feels like it stands on its own in the best way possible, which definitely warrants a quick look-at at the very least, I feel. Hell, I just hope that I feel the same way about every other game in this series moving forward, but, knowing me and my high standards, I assume this won’t last all too long………………. or maybe it’ll become my new favorite thing of all time, I dunno, we’ll see.

Game #606

Zelda II was one of several mainline Zelda games I had yet to play at this point. I didn't know why I skipped trying this one out when I went and beat Zelda 1 in 2020. Maybe it was because it's such a departure from every other game, or the fact I heard it wasn't good. Either way, this marathon gave me a good excuse to finally play this one. Sadly, what I've heard people say about this game is true. I unfortunately found this game to be straight up bad overall.

The story this time around revolves around the Triforce of Courage. The last game only had the Triforce of Wisdom and Power, but this game reveals there's a third. Basically, the King of Hyrule hid it far away so no evil can ever get it. The prince, aka Zelda's brother, wants it for himself. He gets the help of a wizard to have Zelda tell him where it is, since only she knows, by using a truth spell on her. When that doesn't work, the wizard puts Zelda to sleep, and so Link must get the Triforce of Courage and wake Zelda up from the sleep spell. He must do this by going to each of the six main palaces and placing a crystal there, so it opens up the Great palace, which houses the Triforce. Pretty effective plot tbh, it's weird that Zelda has a brother because he never gets mentioned in any other game (at least to my knowledge) but it's interesting.

The first thing you'll notice when actually starting the game, is the change in gameplay. This is no longer a top-down action adventure but is a side-scroller. This is unlike every other mainline Zelda ever and it really does feel off from the rest of the games. Along with it being a side-scroller now, there are also some light RPG mechanics too. There is exp in this game that you get by killing enemies (or collecting exp bags) and you can level up when you get the required amount. You either upgrade your health, magic or your attack power and the game always has a set path with whatever one you get on level up. With the magic, you can get spells throughout the game, and they can be quite useful. The life spell, for instance, is the best spell in the game since it's just a straight up heal. Same with the shield spell, since both make you survive longer. Believe me tho, you're gonna need them! Anyways, the exp system was actually one of the few things I can praise about this game. I thought it was pretty satisfying leveling up every time and it at least makes this game stand out from other Zelda games (if the side-scrolling nature didn't do that already).

The overworld in this game is more like an older RPG than how Zelda 1's was. Instead of having to bomb random locations to find secrets, this game has you progressing the world by using the items you get from palaces. Towns have NPC's that will let you in their house to get a spell in exchange for an item you find. Overworld encounters are now represented by little enemy sprites, that appear once you take a certain number of steps, and they put you into a battle scenario. They can be EXTREMELY obnoxious with how frequently they appear and with how hard it is to dodge them. If you stay on the roads that appear in game, the encounters won't appear but if you take one step off of the road (or just aren't on the roads at all which happens a lot) they will so the roads only help a tiny bit I think. All of this just makes this feel less like a Zelda game and more like an older adventure/RPG. I like the leveling up, but all of this is a downgrade from Zelda 1's formula, even if I wasn't in love with how that game did things.

The start of the game up until Death Mountain, was honestly not bad and was a solid time. Once you get to death mountain tho, this game shows its true colors. This game is incredibly difficult and incredibly bullshit a lot of the time. I know this is an NES game, so this is kinda expected, but Zelda 1 was not like this. Zelda 1 could be hard (mostly in the endgame) but it never felt like NES hard, hard for the sake of it basically. This game definitely does tho and it's worse for it. Death Mountain and the last area and palace were the absolute worst parts of the game. Both were just full of obnoxious BS and I just don't find that very fun. The rest of the game is like that too but to a lesser extent. I had to save state pretty much all the time from Death Mountain until the end, and I don't feel bad about it. It also doesn't help that when you die, there are also lives in this game because you NEED those for a side-scroller I guess, you go back to where Zelda's sleeping (aka the beginning of the game). You can unlock items that make this way better than it sounds, but if you die before you get the hammer and unlock the first shortcut, you must do all of death mountain over again. Without save states, this is very easy to have to do since this game is so brutal. If this game wasn't so hard and bullshit, this wouldn't be too bad because the general gameplay is solid. Link feels good to control and the moves he gets are cool. But due to the NES difficulty, those good elements don't mean much.

Going into the palaces, they're hit or miss. A couple of them I didn't find too bad and actually somewhat enjoyed, while the others were just hell. Palaces are a lot longer in this game and have barely any puzzles. Zelda 1's dungeons weren't super puzzle heavy, but they were more than just find key..unlock door and progress. This game focuses more on the combat than the puzzles and its worse for it since most of the enemies are just frustrating. The bosses aren't anything special, they're either piss easy or super obnoxious like Thunderbird. I always heard Dark Link (or Link's Shadow I guess) was absolutely brutal if you didn't do the duck and swipe method. I just killed him super easily by doing the jump attack method I do on other enemies. Didn't even need to use the shield spell, he was one of the easier bosses in the game lol. Idk if I just got lucky, or I'm just that good but I thought it'd be interesting to mention.

The OST is definitely not as good as the first game's. The palace theme is great and iconic due to it appearing in Smash Bros but that's about it. Every other song was okay at best to me. Nothing, not even the palace theme comes close to being iconic as the overworld theme in the first game.

All in all, while some of the mechanics like leveling up and Link's new swordplay are interesting, it doesn't change the fact this game is just a brutal, bullshit mess of a game. I said it before and I'll say it again, it's hard for the sake of it and just don't like games that do that. It also doesn't help that no other mainline Zelda game that I've played is like this lol. There are some Zelda elements here and there, but this really doesn't feel like a Zelda game to me. I'm glad I finally played this and got it off my bucket list, but I certainly will never be playing this again.

At this point, we have talked plenty about the Sega Genesis and its lineup of titles from the good, the bad, and the ugly, and we have even talked a brief bit about several Sega CD titles and how good they can be when the proper time and care is put into them……… which rarely happened, but you get the idea. So, I think it is about time that we briefly, and I mean briefly, go into the last ditch effort that Sega had in order to keep the Genesis alive throughout the mid-90s, the Sega 32X. Much like the Sega CD, this was an add-on for the Sega Genesis that was meant to be a placeholder for Sega fans before the Sega Saturn came out, allowing them to play 32-bit games straight from their Sega Genesis. However, as you would expect, this didn’t really work out well at all, as not only were there only 40 games made for this system, which is practically nothing compared to almost every other video game system out there, but the games that were released onto the thing really weren’t all that special, with a good handful of them even requiring you to need both the 32X AND the Sega CD in order to play it with! But hey, at least some noteworthy games came out for it, so we may as well go ahead and cover what is definitely the most noteworthy game out of those 40 to choose from, Knuckles’ Chaotix.

Much like with Tails’ Skypatrol, this is the first and only time that Knuckles managed to get a starring role in his own game, with most people probably not even knowing about this thing existing, considering that it is one of the only Sonic games from this era to never be ported onto anything else or included on any sort of collection pack. It is a shame too, especially considering how many other garbage Sonic games have managed to get the port treatment, and back when I first discovered that this was a thing, I was curious myself as to how it turned out. The fact that it was a game starring Knuckles was enough to convince me to give it a shot, but I at least hoped it was on the same level of quality as something like Sonic CD, where I would say it is the only reason you would wanna get a Sega 32X. So, I loaded up a totally-legal emulator to play the game on, and I can certainly say that it is, indeed, a video game. It does what it does well enough, and I’m sure that big Sonic fans would have a good enough time with this, but it definitely has plenty of big issues holding it back, making for what I would consider to be a “whatever” game and nothing more then that.

The story is typical for that of any Sonic game, where on a mysterious island, the evil Dr. Robotnik and his loyal servant Metal Sonic set out to find all of the mythical Chaos Rings in order to take over the world, but when Knuckles hears about this happening, he just can’t have that shit, so he assembles the Chaotix, consisting of him, Vector the Crocodile, Espio the Chameleon, Charmy the Bee, and Mighty the Armadillo, to head on out to this mysterious island themselves and stop Robotnik from doing the evil things he usually does. It’s a Sonic game, so you know exactly what you are going to get from a story like this, but it is cool seeing the introduction of the Chaotix, who would go onto being recurring characters throughout the rest of the series………. well, except for Mighty, who is probably dead in a ditch somewhere.

The graphics are great, looking about as vibrant and colorful as any other Sonic game that was released around that time, even more so given what the system is running on, and they even show off some of them fancy-schmancy graphics they have their with sprites changing sizes and all that, so that’s pretty cool, the music is solid enough, having plenty of energetic and wonderful tunes to listen to while you try to blaze around at the speed of sound, although it isn’t gonna come close to the quality of some tracks from other Sonic games despite its quality, and the gameplay/control is, for the most part, typical of what you would see in a Sonic game, with there definitely being the foundation for yet another great entry in this series in here somewhere, but……….. hoo boy.......

The game is a 2D platformer, where you take control of two of any of the characters I just previously mentioned a couple of paragraphs ago, including some other joke characters that Sega included in there just to fuck with you, go through a set of six different zones in whatever order the game decides you will go through them in, defeat plenty of enemies as you fly and bounce through all over the place with your Chaotix powers, gather plenty of different powerups to assist you along the way in some of the most ridiculous ways that you could possibly imagine, locate all six of the Chaos Rings so that you can get the good ending of the game so that you don’t feel like a pathetic piece of shit, and take on plenty of bosses that can range from either being generally easy to being just as unmanageable as the game itself is most of the time. What we got here is mostly your typical Sonic adventure, except with plenty of wrenches thrown into the mix to change things up, and while some of these wrenches manage to turn those bolts enough to where it makes the game a little more fun, those other wrenches are turning some other bolts that I would much rather not be there at all.

To get the good stuff out of the way first, the amount of original stuff this game has in it compared to plenty of the other games in the series is quite impressive, from the amount of characters you can play as to the powerups that you can get, each one being somewhat different then what you have ever seen before, and it is pretty fun messing around with all of these different things to see what does what and what works best for the adventure ahead. It’s especially sweet whenever you find those characters and powerups that work just wonderfully for you, such as the case with Charmy the Bee, who is RIDICULOUS in this game, being able to fly around all over the place and pretty much snap the entire game in half. Kinda renders the entire main gimmick of the game mute at the end of the day, but…… sigh, we will get to that in just a second.

What I also liked about this game was the bonus and special stages that you could find in the game. Much like Sonic 3 & Knuckles, you can find plenty of big rings hidden throughout the stages, and these will take you to a bonus game where you are falling down a giant corridor, hitting all of these different blocks with goodies in them before you exit the stage. It is a pretty simple concept, not having as much interactability as the bonus stages from Sonic 3 & Knuckles, but it is simple and manageable enough to where I am still able to enjoy it all the same, and get plenty of helpful goodies along the way. But of course, we can’t forget about the main Special Stages, which you get to by getting 50 rings and jumping into the giant rings at the end of the stages, and these stages are pretty much 3D versions of the Special Stages from Sonic Tw- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO................................ ok, to be fair, they aren’t as bad as the ones in Sonic 2, with these ones being a lot more open, manageable, and instead of needing to get a bunch of rings, you instead just have to collect a few of the blue spheres again. This can be a bit frustrating at times, especially when it comes to some of the later special stages, but they didn’t manage to give me as much shit as those other stages, so I will gladly take these any day of the week over those.

But anyways, now that we all that out of the way, we may as well get to the stuff that I DON’T like in this game, and they are some pretty big parts of it to, so let’s start off with the main gimmick of the game: the Bound Rings. Throughout the entire game, you will be permanently stapled to another person, who you can swap out with someone else at these stations you find in the stages, but no matter who you play with, you are stuck with them through these rings. With these rings, you are meant to propel yourself forward and backwards with your partner, using your momentum to get you around to specific areas and to get through the stages, with you also being able to perform specific actions at certain parts where one of you will be temporarily stuck in place, while your partner will be spinning around trying to help you proceed forward. This, if you ask me, is what ultimately kills this entire game for me.

I don’t hate this idea on paper, as I feel if properly managed, this could make for a very interesting mechanic that could be very fun to fuck around with. However, when it comes to this game, it does NOT work at all in your favor in the slightest. It feels so fucking awkward to do anything in this set up, as you will either be completely halted trying to get yourself moving again, which is definitely what you should not be at all in a SONIC game, or you will be yanked around all over the place, flying around at the speed of sound, not being able to control yourself, and just begging for the end of the stage to be around the corner so that you can just get a move on. Sure, it isn’t as bad as how I am describing it in parts, but trust me, when you actually try this game out for yourself, you can feel how broken this shit is, and not in a good way, making it way more frustrating to play as a result, and can be the one thing that will decide whether or not you will enjoy this game.

What also doesn’t help this out at all are the levels themselves, as they are also pretty poor as well. Most of these levels are built in the way that you would typically expect for a Sonic level to be built like, which would usually be a good thing in most cases, but this isn’t a normal Sonic game, and as such, it suffers as a result. You will have to fight with the level design in many instances while also fighting with the Bound Rings, which can make it so that some of the levels feel like mazes, not sure of where you need to go in order to be done with this shit quicker. It just goes to prove even more that a gimmick like this simply does not work for a Sonic game, as it expects you to go about this in a way that you would usually do so in your average game in this series, minus a few sections here and there, and it just makes things all the more difficult as a result. Thankfully, there are some levels that don’t suffer from this too much, but a good amount of them do, and it can make for a very unsatisfying journey as a result of this.

Overall, despite some pretty great visuals, music, characters to mess around with, and special/bonus stages to try out, I just simply wasn’t able to get too into Knuckles’ Chaotix as a whole, with the Boun Rings making doing anything in this game much more stressful and annoying then it needs to be, making for what I can only say is an ok game at the end of the day, and nothing more. I would recommend this game for those who are huge Sonic fans, as well as those who don’t mind dealing with gimmicks like this in one of these games, because while I certainly wasn’t able to enjoy it that much, you could probably get more out of it then I could. Or maybe not, but hey, you won’t really know for yourself unless you try it out. But hey, if I will give the game any sort of credit whatsoever, I will say that it was at least one of the most memorable games from the entire 32X library. I mean hell, what other games do they have on here, anyway? Some Spider-Man game, a random shmup, an FPS or two here or there, and of course, how can we forget everyone’s favorite game of all time!…………. Slam City with Scottie Pippen.

Game #605

(Part 6 of the Half Century Challenge, created by C_F. You can find their sixth review here)

For seemingly as long as video games have ever been made, there have always been arguments that have come up time and time again about violence in video games and how much of it is acceptable, or even how it could influence the player partaking in said violence in games. Many arguments have been made for and against many different forms of violence in video games, which have often led to plenty of controversies over the years, with some people even arguing that the violence one can find in video games can directly influence violent actions that a person can commit in real life. This argument, to me, is complete fucking bullshit, and there is nothing you can do or show to me that will make me change my mind, but these arguments have always fascinated me, specifically with how much violence in video games people consider to be acceptable throughout the many stages of video games, from nowadays even all the way back to the mid-70s. This can even be seen when it comes to today’s lesson in video game history told to you by some fucko who doesn’t know anything, Destruction Derby.

So, before we continue onwards, I should probably inform you all of something…… you all have been duped. For you see, this is NOT a review of Destruction Derby from 1975, but instead, it is a review of the 1976 cult title Death Race, which is actually a modified version of Destruction Derby, so I think it would still count for this review. The only reason that I am resorting to this title specifically is because finding these very old games to download and play on the internet is REALLY hard, especially when it comes to stuff from this far back, and even then, I ended up having to play a fan-made remake of the game instead of the actual thing, with the fan-made remake not changing too much of it to where I was still pretty much getting the same experience out of it. Kinda complicated I know, but that’s just how things work around here now.

For those who don’t know, Destruction Derby/Death Race was one of the first instances of a video game that received major controversy, to the point where it was even pulled from being distributed by its developer, and that in itself has always drawn me to it. When you look at both of the games side-by-side, neither of them look like anything that could possibly garner any sort of negative attention whatsoever, being some of the most simple looking and playing games out there, not even coming CLOSE to the level of blood, guts and gore that you can find in an average game nowadays. But hey, it was enough to where I decided to try it out for myself, and I did end up having fun with it, while it also sent me down this rabbit hole of the aspect of controversial video games.

The game is very simple: you are a simple white speck that is meant to be a car, placed in a black, empty void, boxed in by a bunch of white barriers around you. In said box, there are speck-cars that are driving around aimlessly, hoping they can go back home to see their speck-car families and kids again, while also trying to crush into you for the sake of taking out their anger. You then take your car and drive it straight into the other car to ram them and take them out, which is complimented by a loud crash sound to signify what you have just done, and to make you crave for more destruction, running down as many cars as you can before the time runs out. For the time it came out, it is a simple, yet fun enough concept that you could definitely get a lot out of if you were to find it at an arcade, and a buddy could even join in with you for some wonderful, car crashing action, and the sounds are also simple, yet effective enough to get you immersed in all the carnage that you will be causing along the way.

Death Race, in comparison, is almost the exact same game as this, but with a few changes. Rather then focusing on you crashing into as many cars as you can to rack up the points, you are instead tasked to run down plenty of “gremlins”, who each turn into little cross grave-stones when they died, accompanied by a shrill scream for whenever you do hit them. It doesn’t really change up the game at all, just giving you different things to run into and different sounds to hear, which could be good or bad depending upon who you ask, but for me, it is just whatever. However, these simple changes made to the game was enough to land it into the serious trouble that it ended up in, and when you think about it from the perspective of someone living in 1976…… it kinda makes sense.

I mean, think about it, where is the only place that you would see or hear any kinds of high levels of violence, death, and destruction in media at the time? It would be the movies, and possibly TV, but definitely movies, where everything else outside of that has remained relatively safe for most audiences. However, then this new game comes out, you run over this guy, and wha….. what was that? Was that someone… screaming?! Holy shit, that person is fucking dead! Like, actually dead! They had life and everything, and we just took it straight from them! It’s more simple for us to accept in movies and TV shows, because we are merely just watching people doing the things they do in there, but WE are the ones that are performing the actions here, and WE are the ones who just killed those poor, defenseless gremlins…….. what kind of monsters have we become?! But wait, hang on…… that can’t be all that managed to cause the controversy, right? I mean, yeah, it was somewhat unnatural for video games to have audio like this at the time, but look at it! It’s so primitive and basic, and there isn’t even any blood! How could it be removed from arcades for being violent without any of the gooey bits?! Well, I myself can’t say for sure what the logic behind this decision was, but if I may, I have a theory as to what could’ve been the mindset behind this decision.

See, video games, at this point in time, were essentially the electronic equivalent of a small, cute baby. You love to see them grow up, become more developed, learn new things, and expand their horizons, and we, as the consumer, are kind of like their parents, watching them grow into the bright, upstanding citizens that we hope they will become one day. However, as parents, you also don’t want to see them be exposed to all the true terrors of the world, because if they are, it could warp their minds, change their personalities, possibly fucking them up for life, and people in the 70s just didn’t want that to happen to their small, electronic children. This single controversy was merely a fraction of the process that video games have gone through in getting exposed to said terrors of the world. And now, here we are: this child has gone from an innocent baby to a fully grown, old and cynical person, having gone through many different stages of violence, sex, drugs, and other fucked up things that people back in the day couldn’t even begin to FATHOM happening to this medium. It just goes to show what age can really do to anything, not just what it can do to people, but also to pieces of media: as they get more exposed and shared around the world, people will take many liberties with them, morphing them into something that we potentially don’t want, until we eventually learn to accept them as they are, understanding they are now the norm, and we grow to love them as a result……………….. I know, that was a very weird and confusing analogy, but it makes sense when ya think about it, alright?

Overall, for the time both of these games came out, Destruction Derby and Death Race were fun and interesting titles that would have definitely made for fun afternoons with friends back then if you were lucky enough to come across these games at any given point. Not only that, but it was also very interesting for me to go back and look on these simple controversies that would never have even been considered really that bad nowadays, thinking about how video games have evolved from this simple point in time, and how we now look back on shit like this and laugh at how ridiculous it was. But anyways, I guess I need to end this off with some kind of joke like I always do, don’t I? Uh………… you may be able to Death Race, but you can’t Race Death, cause in the end, he will always catch up to you? I dunno, unfollow me and hit the dislike button whenever it gets added to this website never.

Game #604