Kirby Slide: an absolute enigma of a game. in the middle of December 2003, this Kirby game was mysteriously shadow dropped into the world for all the e-Reader users to play. an average person would normally use their e-Reader to gain access to special events to obtain unique Pokémon or unlock bonus levels to play through in Super Mario Advance 4. however, Kirby fans aren’t exactly “average”. sometimes they seek more, they would rather put in the work and effort to experience something that make a lasting impression for the rest of their lives, and Kirby Slide has the criteria to fill in that exact need.

before we can discuss what the game has to offer, I feel as if it’d be quite amiss if I didn't bring up some of the mysteries surrounding Kirby Slide that adds to its odd or surreal nature. the first thing I should mention is that we don’t know the exact date it came out on, as December 2003 is around the time it is commonly known to have been released. it’s rather strange how there’s no documentation on what day of the month Kirby Slide had officially been sent out to the public, and 2003 nonetheless! you would think that by this point in time all video games would have their full dates publicly available to the masses, yet Kirby Slide is not one of them. I feel like the common explanation I’d receive in response would be, “It’s only an accessory, it doesn’t have the same priority that an actual video game would have.” while I would agree that the likelihood of an e-Reader game would not share as much importance to the developers and audience as a mainstream title, to write off an e-Reader game as nothing more than an accessory is quite a shameful thing to say. while yes anything that comes from the e-Reader is not going to have the memory or capabilities to stand on the same ground as something like Final Fantasy VII with it’s three big discs out, at the end of the day this is still a video game as the advertising for it clearly states “This Card Contains A FREE Game!”, meaning not only are you playing an actual game, but a free one at that. In my sincere opinion, I believe Kirby Slide as well as any other e-Reader games should be respected for what they were able to accomplish, rather than what they aren’t.

our next mystery involves the developers of this game, or rather the lack of information on them. obviously Nintendo is going to be the one publishing this game, as they have for the rest of the Kirby franchise, but oddly enough HAL Laboratory were not the ones responsible for development on this game, marking this the first Kirby game not to be developed by HAL. Kid Kirby would have been the first to receive this honor, as well as being the first to be created by a non-Japanese studio, however that game would never see the light of day. returning to Kirby Slide, its developers are none other than 4Kids Entertainment, the company that was infamous for creating strange localized dubs for various anime at the time, with their most well known creation being….you guessed it: the “One Piece Pirate Rap”. so we know 4Kids were involved, but who were the exact people that made the game? unfortunately, we have no clue. Kirby Slide lacks any kind of staff roll, as completing the puzzle loops back to the beginning. why is there no ending credits? surely the 4Kids staff wouldn’t have prevented their names from appearing anywhere near this game. if I was given the chance to help bring about this game into existence, you can bet that I’d happily leave my name here for all the expert Kirby Slide players to see. if I had to guess why there’s no information on the people who worked on this, I believe the game had gone through a rocky development cycle, which Nintendo was not all too happy about. Nintendo perhaps forbade the members of 4Kids Entertainment from adding a staff roll out of their frustration with the final product, believing they don’t deserve any sort of credit or compensation for the game. while that’s just a theory, keep in mind a good amount of games back in the old days were not allowed to credit their developers due to a variety of reasons, one of the most famous examples being Castlevania for the Nintendo Entertainment System, so it’s not far-fetched to believe that Nintendo would do the same for Kirby Slide, it wouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary for them.

and now for perhaps the most interesting thing to discuss with this game: what is its true name? while yes many people refer to this game as “Kirby Slide”, myself included, and even Backloggd itself does so as well, you’ll also notice that in the very description it mentions this important detail: “Kirby Slide (called Kirby Puzzle on the e-Reader menu)”. Kirby Puzzle. yet another mystery to add to this puzzle. philosophers have been asking the age-old question of whether the chicken or the egg came first, but I believe the more important question that we should really be asking ourselves is which came first: the Slide or the Puzzle? it’s no stranger for a game to receive more than one title, many of them get a title change when moved over to another region, however Kirby Slide or Kirby Puzzle, whichever one you prefer, had only released in America, with no signs pointing at plans for a release in multiple regions. besides the fact that no one outside of America ever got to experience the sheer joy of playing Kirby Slide, the name “Kirby Slide” is not mentioned anywhere in the actual game itself. it’s only on the back of the e-Reader card where it brings up the saying, “Do The Kirby Slide!” right before the “This Card Contains A FREE Game!” sentence is brought up. so what’s the big idea? if you were to ask my stance on this whole debacle, I believe Kirby Puzzle was the title that likely came first. the game was probably meant to be shipped as Kirby Puzzle before Nintendo saw the name themselves and ordered 4Kids to change the name to Kirby Slide for all its advertising. they probably assumed no kids would want to spend their time playing a game that has the word “puzzle” in its title, so they instead opted for the more exciting “slide” instead, which also fits the game as it features none other than a slide puzzle. as if why the game is still called Kirby Puzzle on the e-Reader menu, I’d assume the name change was a last minute decision, leaving them no time to update the title once it was shipped out to the public. with all this in mind, we now have a better understanding about Kirby Slide’s history and we can now delve into the game itself.

the objective of Kirby Slide is to set the eight-block sliding puzzle of Kirby into their correct order. pressing A to a block next to an empty space will make it slide over to the location of that space, which in turn makes an empty space at the former location of the block you chose. you repeat this process until all the pieces are put into their correct order, which will award you with a congratulatory message before giving you the option to reset the puzzle, which lets you start over to move the pieces once more. while many will shun the game for supposedly not giving out a true reward for finishing the puzzle, I would argue that a congratulatory message is possibly one of the best rewards you could ever want. many of my favorite games often add a “thank you for playing” message or another variation of that phrasing during their ending sequences, and Kirby Slide is no exception to this. the game saying “Congratulations” once you finish the puzzle is not there for show, it’s to let you know that the developers care about you. they’re proud that you were finally able to experience completing a slide puzzle for most likely the first time of your life, and one that features Kirby nonetheless! and at the end of the day, is that not all that really matters? some may also argue that there’s no point in playing a “miniscule” game such as this when they would rather spend their time playing anything else that could offer them a better use of their time. to that I say that playing Kirby Slide will give you no regrets whatsoever. at first you’ll most likely not care for it, as you’ll probably want to seek more from it, but over time you will grow to love the game and appreciate it for what it is. sure it may not have tons of depth from a first glance, but that’s not what Kirby Slide’s attempting to achieve. it’s not seeking to be the next triple AAA gaming masterpiece, Kirby Slide’s most important goal was to advertise the Kirby: Right Back at Ya anime that was airing around the time this game came out, and the game even uses humorous artwork from the anime depicting Kirby inhaling something. while Kirby Slide gives you the joy of completing a slide puzzle, it also serves to introduce you to the world of the Kirby anime. mayhaps once you have been satisfied with what Kirby Slide has to offer you, you’ll probably want to go through the Kirby anime and perhaps binge-watch it during your spare time. think about how many people out there got into Kirby: Right Back at Ya thanks to this very game. I don’t understand how anyone could bring themselves to dislike this game for that alone.

Kirby Slide is truly a misunderstood gem of the gaming industry. it is commonly known as the laughing stock of the Kirby fandom as well as any other gamers that are aware of its existence due to being a “simplistic and boring” slide puzzle game, but there’s nothing wrong with that, nothing at all. Kirby Slide was created to introduce people to slide puzzles, as well as get people into the Kirby: Right Back at Ya anime, that’s all it was aiming to achieve and I believe it does not deserve all this unwarranted hate for that. the next time you see people hating Kirby Slide online for some non-existent internet points, let them know that this game is much more than what it seems. the love and care put into Kirby Slide cannot be underestimated, and I share this message and review to all of those who are willing to give this game another chance to be appreciated. thank you for reading, and take care.

okay yeah this is probably the best one lol

there's a lot of stuff this game does right in my eyes. alternative pathways while you make your way to Dracula? check! another playable character who's unique and fun to use? check! kick-ass music that makes me want to dance and never gets out of my head, forever being trapped inside for eternity with no hope of escape? check.

Richter doesn't have any of the cool whip attacks that Simon has in Super Castlevania IV, but he doesn't really need them. not only can he make it by just fine, but the level design is based around just the one whip direction, so having diagonal whip movement would either be unnecessary or make things a little too easy, and we already have a character for the latter. besides he has a backflip and item breaks instead, and that's good enough for me. if you tap the jump button twice, Richter performs this radical and groovy backflip that lets him easily avoid enemy attacks and it is much more fun than it needs to be. as for the item breaks, if you press one of the buttons, you'll perform a powerful super move depending on what sub weapon you have at the cost of using up more hearts. they're good for getting enemies of the screen but you're better off saving the attacks for the bosses.

now let's talk about Maria. if you can figure out how to save her in Stage 2, you'll not only be greeted to a cheesy cutscene but you'll be able to play as her by going to your file select. playing as Maria makes you realize that the Belmont bloodline is facing the unfortunate reality that is power creep, she is overpowered. a double jump making platforming sections easier, a slide that makes hallways faster to traverse coupled with her already faster movement, being able to attack enemies while already moving, and her different sub weapons that are much more powerful than the ones Richter has. Maria is simply built different, and it's an absolute spectacle witnessing this dork slaughtering the likes of Dracula and Death. her only downside is that she takes more damage than Richter, making her a glass cannon, but in the right hands that doesn't matter because she has too many things going towards her favor. choose her if you want to have an easy time to get through this game.

this game is pretty hard if you play as Richter but it isn't unforgiving. this is probably the most balanced Classicvania, it's not ridiculously unfair, but it also isn't a curb stomp, it's the perfect balance. you'll find yourself falling in pits much less than you'd would in any of the other games because a majority of the game doesn't rely on something like that. most enemy attacks are also telegraphed so if you pay close attention to them you won't end up getting hit as much. the graphics of this game are very nice to look at, it's backed up with the vibrant colors and the fun presentation like the stage subtitles that show up at the beginning of each one. I also enjoyed the old fashioned 80s/early 90s PC anime style that the cutscenes have, I can't imagine how surprised a veteran Castlevania fan in the 90s would have felt being used to the more grounded and horror vibes of the old games then seeing how different the tone has changed with this game. obviously the music great too, every track here is excellent whether it'd be the rock tunes, the more peaceful tracks, or the spooky ones. predictably my favorite is Opposing Bloodlines, or Divine Bloodlines, or whatever the correct name is. this track was so cool that they had two different versions for it in the same game. the Stage Version is a blast to listen to from beginning to end and the Intro Version has this epic guitar that I wish was used in the former. excellent.

my only major gripe is that the Dracula fight was a little on the easy side. here I was expecting it to be difficult since I've figured that the Symphony of the Night version was made easier since that's the first boss you face there. but nah, they never nerfed him at all, he's just as easy here then he was there. outside of that it's just tiny nitpicks that don't matter too much. this game is cool, you want to be cool? finish this game so you can tell your friends "hey, I'm cool because I completed Castlevania: Rondo of Blood!"

results may vary

Mario Super Sluggers is evidence that you can indeed make baseball not boring

I remember getting this game on my Wii back when I was a wee lad and boy I soaked so many hours into the game like you wouldn’t believe. I wasn’t even into baseball, but somehow those colorful and wacky Mario characters put their own unique spin into it and I was hooked.

there’s a couple of modes you can try out here, you got Exhibition (basically the free play mode where you can create your baseball teams and go all out), Challenge Mode (where all the story is and how you unlock other characters/stadiums/features), Minigames (self-explanatory) and Toy Field (Let’s Make a Deal meets baseball). Exhibition and Challenge Mode are the big two that I’d recommend, Exhibition is where I (and probably you) will get most of your replayability, and Challenge Mode is essential if you want to unlock everything.

I don’t remember much of what happened in Challenge Mode storywise, but I do know that I had a great time with it so I advise not to pass it up and see if you enjoy what it has to offer. I unfortunately do not have the time to revisit it right now, but perhaps when I do I’ll write a second review that goes into that aspect in more detail.

as for the gameplay, you have a variety of Stadiums that you can choose to play in. almost all the Stadiums have their own unique gimmicks except for Mario Stadium because Mario. Peach Ice Garden has Freezies running around like they own the place, Yoshi Park has a train that commits vehicular manslaughter, Wario City has a giant Wario in the center to let you know you’re playing Wario City, DK Jungle has giant barrels that are lit on fire during the night, Bowser Jr. Playroom has loud Chain Chomps, Bowser Castle is a giant OSHA violation, Luigi’s Mansion has a GHOST and Daisy Cruiser has Gooper Blooper messing with the place and everyone insists the game must go on, what troopers. as cool as all that is, I think my favorite part about the Stadiums is how you can unlock the ability to be able to play them during the night. the Stadiums were already great on their own, but they all look a lot cooler at nighttime.

after that you can choose your captains and team players to your liking. each captain has their own unique Star Skills they can use to throw off the batter or launch a crazy ball to buy their team time to run across the bases. every single character also has their own different stats with some being excellent pitchers, great battlers, or fast on the field. with so many characters to choose from, you can straight up create an OP team that’ll net you easy wins, namely the ones that have a high chance of getting Home Runs. but if you don’t feel like analyzing every characters’ strengths and weaknesses, just slap Petey Piranha on your team and you win everything gg shake my hand. that said, my favorite detail is that every character in the game has “chemistry”. basically if two characters share chemistry with each other, they’ll be able to throw fast balls to each other and jump high enough to catch Home Run balls, giving you an advantage in the field if you place them near each other. on top of that there’s also bad chemistry meaning characters that don’t like each other will perform worse together. not only does it encourage team building, it’s also fun to see which characters do or don’t get along with each other. did you know that King K. Rool prefers King Boo over Bowser, Blooper and Hammer Bro don't get along, and that Birdo has beef with Tiny Kong? what the HELL did Tiny Kong do to Birdo?! too bad we’ll never find out! have fun with this keeping you up at night

I think that’s about all I have to say for now. if you’re a Mario fan that can also tolerate baseball, this is the game for you. lots of character importance, a fun story mode, some good old callbacks I mean good god they made Daisy Cruiser from Double Dash it’s own Stadium, no way you’re convincing me that isn’t cool. you want a good baseball game, play any of the others, if you want a real man’s sports game to prove you’re a true baseball connoisseur, you play THIS.

while I was writing this review I found out that this game never released in Europe, damn they got robbed

whoa I finally got to finish writing a main series Kirby review again I never thought I’d see the day

we’ve made it to the last game in the so-called “Dark Matter Trilogy”. once more we got the mystique Shinichi Shimomura as director for this Kirby game and this is without a doubt his most ambitious game. likewise with a couple other of late Nintendo 64 games, the game was originally developed for the 64DD before Nintendo realized “uh oh we screwed it up!” and had HAL shift development to the basic N64. even with the change of hardware Kirby 64 is a pretty impressive N64 game, dare I say it’s my favorite game from this console?

there’s a lot to talk about here this time. those god damn pesky Dark Matter are back at it again but it seems they learned their lesson this time because instead of invading Planet Popstar they decided to go and bully some fairies over at Ripple Star and take over their planet with absolute ease. the Fairy Queen orders some pink-haired fairy named Ribbon to escape with this big ass crystal they have lying around to make sure it’s safe from the Dark Matter. she manages to get out of there but three Dark Matter named Dark Rimuru, Dark Rimura, and Dark Rimuro (don’t ask why they have names they just do) chase after Ribbon and send her flying to Popstar with the crystal shattered into pieces. she bumps into Kirby and they both find two Crystal Shards shortly after. while they team up and explore Popstar, they encounter Waddle Dee, Adeleine, and King Dedede along the way; all three have been possessed by Rimuru, Rimura, and Rimuro respectively (Dedede can’t and won’t ever get a break). once the team is assembled, they all venture towards different planets to collect and piece together all the Shards. this is where I’d end things but this game actually has full on cutscenes throughout the game. later Kirby games would also include cutscenes in various different forms but I feel like they already perfected the cutscene format with this game. the cutscenes do a great job making you feel as if you’re truly on a journey with your friends. you’re eating together at Rock Star, you’re stone skipping together at Aqua Star, you’re running for your life together at Neo Star, and while this isn’t exactly a cutscene, at the end of each non-boss level there’s always a picnic at the end with your friends waiting for you. this adventure is a group effort. and if you thought it couldn’t get better than that, THE MUSIC SYNCS WITH THE CUTSCENES. whenever something happens such as a character emoting or moving, a Crystal Shard appearing, Dark Matter being on-screen, etc., the music briefly shifts to give you the illusion that sound effects are currently playing, when in actuality these “sound effects” are actually a part of the music. no better does this enhance the experience than in my personal favorite cutscene at the end of Neo Star. unlike the previous cutscenes where the group shares a goofy and light-hearted moment, here they’re sprinting away from an active volcano that has begun to erupt. on its own the cutscene would be fine, but the intensity is amplified by the dynamic music playing in the background. those brief three seconds of Waddle Dee desperately running towards the portal before Kirby comes in with the clutch by popping up and inhaling him inside are some of the most dramatic moments I’ve ever felt in a video game no joke. the presentation is off the charts in this game and I love it so much.

oh yeah I have to talk about gameplay. although we’re on the N64, the game’s still a 2D scroller so no need to familiarize yourself with a different gameplay style, it’s not time for 3D yet. Kirby has all his moves from Dream Land 3, as well as most of the Copy Abilities from that game. Kirby loses out on Clean and Parasol, but in exchange he gets access to the Bomb Copy Ability, a fair trade-off unless you’re a huge Clean and/or Parasol enthusiast, don’t worry they’ll be back in some later games. unfortunately the Animal Buddies have sat this game out but in their place, Kirby gains the power to mix and combine his Copy Abilities. each combination gives Kirby a unique Copy Ability to use that’ll help him defeat enemies and destroy certain blocks. for example, Burn-Cutter gives Kirby a giant flaming sword to swing and throw, Stone-Spark lets Kirby swing a boulder chained by electricity, Ice-Spark turns Kirby into a fridge that throws out healing items you can consume, Needle-Bomb turns Kirby into a Gordo that can explode and shoot spikes, there’s a bunch of more Abilities but those are just a few to give an idea on how it works. to this day this is the only Kirby game where combining Copy Abilities gives you a completely unique Ability with its own properties and characteristics. Squeak Squad and Star Allies may have had their own methods of combining Abilities, however it was only restricted to elemental and weapon-based Copy Abilities (Fire Sword, Water Bomb, Spark Cutter, etc.). that said, I need to address the elephant in the room, or rather the puffball in the room. Kirby’s movement feels….off. he’s noticeably slower and heavier in this game than he was in every other side scrolling game before and after, I suppose that’s fitting though since Kirby does look a bit chubby this time around. look no further than when he goes into a puffing state, not only does his puff movement feel slow, he actually gets tired if you puff too long and begins descending out of exhaustion. bro’s been eating and gaining too many pounds if the track title “I’m Hungry” is anything to go by. but hey, that’s okay because your friends will show up every so often in the levels. Waddle Dee will lead you to some riding segments together, Adeleine will draw and give out healing items as well as clues to solve puzzles, and King Dedede will give you a piggyback and use his hammer to destroy walls Kirby (probably) can’t do on his own. once again I must state that this is a group effort. your bros and gals are by your side helping you out and if they weren’t there, Kirby would probably be stuck in Rock Star being confused or something.

likewise with Dream Land 2 and 3 you have collectibles to obtain throughout the levels, that being the Crystal Shards, and regrettably this is when I have to go into something I don’t like about this game. I have to admit: this might be my least favorite Shimomura game to 100%, and as someone who almost always goes for 100% completion every time I replay a Kirby game, this is a bit of a damper. Dream Land 2’s Rainbow Drops may have been a pain to get but at least there were just 7 of them, with only 3 of them being trouble. as for Dream Land 3, it may have had 30 Heart Stars but most of them weren’t really that too difficult to obtain. Kirby 64 has 74 Crystal Shards, each non-boss level housing three of these things, and a good portion of them are just, not fun. to give two examples, Aqua Star 3’s last Crystal Shard requires you to hold onto Stone-Cutter for the second half of the level and has you use it against a mid-boss before reaching the area you’re required to use it on. Stone-Cutter isn’t exactly the most reliable Copy Ability combat-wise and if you end up losing it in the water, you’ll need to restart as Stone enemies are only during the first half of the level. Neo Star 2 tops that by having you drag along Stone-Bomb, a very risky Ability that can actually injure you, throughout most of the entire level with a tough section filled with bottomless pits and enemies all over. if you lose a life, you have to do it all over as there are no Stone and Bomb enemies in the entire level, meaning you need to get the Ability from an entirely different level not only before, but every time you fail an attempt. so yeah, it’s a big hassle, but if you manage to pull that off and collect all the Crystal Shards, you get access to the real final boss as well as the true ending. I’ve mentioned this in my Dream Land 2 review, but I feel that a good way to go about this is by making your first playthrough a casual one, collecting any Crystal Shards that show up in your direction. after that if you’re still itching for more of the game, that’s when you should go back and obtain the ones that you’ve missed before.

so how about them graphics? well it’s an N64 game alright. it doesn’t hit as hard as Dream Land 3’s did, but I imagine it’d be a pain to replicate a crayon drawn art style, so instead they opted for a pop-up storybook style which I enjoy. and with all the checkerboard patterns everywhere, it reminds me a bit of early CGI, especially with the whole training room. I always thought this game looked like early Veggietales, until I went and looked back at Veggietales and realized they’re not that alike. nonetheless the graphics have this old school 3D vibe that still holds up surprisingly, especially in the cutscene department. now let’s talk about the music. Super Star’s soundtrack was pretty bombastic, while Dream Land 3’s soundtrack was more on the relaxed side. Kirby 64 takes the best of both worlds and offers a nice balance of those two styles. while there’s a lot of catchy tunes here, it isn’t afraid to offer you some mellow tracks as well. you know how people joke about Wet-Dry World having this odd negative aura? that’s kinda how I feel whenever I listen to this game’s file select theme. something about it feels quite melancholic, but perhaps it was intentional considering some of the stuff that happens in this game whether it’s in the story or the background. Quiet Forest is literally a Chrono Trigger track prove me wrong. it’s a crime this track only plays in one singular level but then again I feel like that’d take away some of the magic it has. I like how each possessed friend battle theme progressively gets much more fast paced. Waddle Dee’s is pretty chill, Adeleine’s is very upbeat, and then King Dedede’s is literally adrenaline overdrive, it’s such an intense theme for a battle that’ll probably only last thirty seconds. Rock Star has a crazy energetic vibe for a track that plays out in a desert, it makes this otherwise relaxing stroll feel more like Mad Max (I have never watched Mad Max). the Ruins theme from the same world goes the opposite direction and has more of a quiet atmosphere of wonder and mystery. Aqua Star is without a doubt a Kirby track. You know how people can listen to Green Greens and Gourmet Race and go “yeah, that’s Kirby”? Aqua Star is with them and man do I love this track. very upbeat and catchy, an earworm that makes you want to listen repeatedly, and that iconic Kirby synth. yeaaaaahh baby fill my eardrums with that ARR1 sample!!! even something simple as a map screen has bopping music. Neo Star’s map theme is almost 50 seconds long and sounds like something that you’d hear in Crash Bandicoot 1 or 2. Ripple Star’s map theme should sound familiar to you Kirby fans since it got remixed into other tracks in later games such as Helper’s Rest in Super Star Ultra and A Well-Deserved Rest in Triple Deluxe. oh and how could I forget to mention that boss theme? this is the best Kirby boss theme, nothing else comes close (okay Robobot’s and Star Allies’s do but you get the idea). oh yeah this game has three Sub-Games and one of them titled Bumper Crop Bump has an absolute banger track, one of the best in this already great soundtrack, and it’s stuck inside a Sub-Game!

of course, I need to describe something maybe a few of y’all were expecting me to mention, and that’s the fifth world. Shiver Star tells out an entire story just by its visuals and music. when you first arrive after witnessing that volcano cutscene leaving Neo Star, you’re greeted to a much more realistic looking planet from the ones you’ve seen before. the track when you enter the map screen is very discomforting, a stark contrast to the previous themes, letting you know that you are unwelcome in this territory, as well as giving you a hint of what's to come. then all of a sudden, you’re hit with a huge mood whiplash as you start the first level and are greeted with cheery Christmas music taking place at a friendly winter wonderland, you even get to go snowboarding with your bro Waddle Dee! by the time you get to the cloud level listening to even more upbeat and cheerful music, you’ve pretty much completely forgotten that unnerving first impression when you first got here. Shiver Star has successfully given you a false sense of security, and you’ve fallen right into its trap. with your guard down, you enter the next level which appears to be some sort of shopping mall. when you’re first going through the level, you’ll probably think nothing of it, but when you begin to take note of the entire place, you’ll notice something’s definitely up. for example, let’s compare and contrast to Forgotten Land’s “Alivel Mall”. while both are similar on the surface, the two of them have very different vibes. Alivel Mall has moving walkways and escalators, a dining room on the inside and outside, that one big hallway with the giant window you can look out of, this is a genuine mall being kept alive by the enemies of that game. Shiver Star’s on the other hand feels more like a mish-mash of seemingly random stuff. low ceiling rooms with random blocks everywhere, elevators powered by wind up keys, a big ass garden and aquarium, and some weird room with a bunch of giant nuts and bolts on the ceiling and floor, in a way it barely qualifies as a mall. even with Shiver Star’s theme playing, something about the whole place is uncanny. it feels very strange and robotic, it makes you wonder just what exactly was this mall’s true purpose. the final level of the world has you go down into an underground location. it’s then that reality hits you. yep, you’re inside an abandoned industrial factory. King Dedede shows up to help put you at ease for a bit, nevertheless the mood is still tense and those hammer machines with the psychotic grins certainly aren’t helping in your favor. then you get to the next room and spot a bunch of big test tubes in the background with various giant creatures inside of them. a pink hippo thing, some white bird, a black cat without any limbs. And some humanoid creature wearing an old-fashioned hood. what the hell was going on in this area? if you pay attention long enough, you’ll notice that the cat actually blinks and moves its ears. these things are still alive. just how long were they left inside these tubes and what kind of experiments were the inhabitants performing down here? at last you make it to the end. before you’ve been battling mostly cartoonish looking bosses (not sure what Pix’s exactly supposed to be), but that changes as you’re now face to face with a GIANT ROBOT. it’s no Iron Giant, it’s packed with missiles and changes its formation to some kind of Heavy Lobster expy, this thing was built for combat. by now you should have pieced everything together. giant robot, abandoned mall and factory, test tubes, the striking resemblance to real life planets. there used to be a human-like civilization living on this planet, however it’s all but been abandoned as all its residents have “moved away”. unfortunately we’ll probably never get any more information about Shiver Star’s backstory as it has never appeared or been mentioned in a Kirby game since. unless you have Shimomura on speed dial, we’re all out of luck.

okay let’s (thankfully) leave Shiver Star so I can briefly talk about the true final boss music of this game. this track right here is probably the second most iconic Kirby final boss track right behind none other than King Dedede’s theme. I guarantee even if you haven’t played a Kirby game you’ve most likely heard a version of this track somewhere on the internet at least once. we started off with a melancholic track and now we finish the game with another one. everything in Dream Land 2 and 3 has all led to this very battle. this is a battle that you can’t back away from, all you can do is “tough it out” and see it through to the end, or die trying. there’s something about facing this final boss for the first time that feels so special, it’s as if you’re witnessing a huge historical moment in front of your eyes, at least that’s how I felt when I fought it. actually it may as well be a historical moment since this is the last time we ever see traditional Dark Matter as the antagonist of a Kirby game. this track signifies the end of Dark Matter. it’s their last hurrah as the leader desperately attempts one final time to destroy Kirby for good. of course, we all know who made it out in the end….

wow what a wacky kids game amirite?! I may have been a bit critical when it came to the item collecting but it’s no surprise I love everything else. the story’s great, the music’s excellent, the world building is interesting, yeah I’m thinking good game. real quick I want to bring up something that not much people talk about, and that’s some of the scrapped ideas that were meant to be included. there were some cool levels that never made it into the actual game like a laboratory, a meteor shower, and even a giant whale! not only that, but Waddle Dee, Adeleine, and King Dedede were all meant to be playable, there’s even early screenshots of them in action that you can find online! basically what I’m saying is that this game could have been even more based. even if all this stuff got scrapped, what we ended up getting was still amazing, and it doesn’t surprise me that there are people who’d like to see a Kirby game in this style again. maybe one day we’ll see it happen, Kirby 64’s old enough to the point that it can be considered nostalgic, so maybe HAL will bless us one day and bestow us a spiritual successor when we least suspect it. someday….

I can beat N-Z in a fight