This review contains spoilers

Content warning for death of a parent and for a rambling mess of a review that's not really a review.

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On May 15th of 2016 my dad died.

It wasn't surprising in the larger scheme of things but the moment was really jarring. That's obvious in a stupid sort of way, but I don't know how to talk about it without big obvious statements. He had grappled with diabetes and heart problems for the better part of three decades. Issues like that aren't "if" diagnoses, they're "when." If I really had to pinpoint a turn in his health, things declined when he started dialysis. Apparently sucking all your blood out, pumping it through a machine, and shoving it back in is kind of rough on your body. Wild, right?

In spite of it all, he always had such a great attitude. The guy wasn't even 60 but he looked and felt at least a decade older. And yet he was always quick with a joke, support for someone else--anything he could do to connect with someone and make their load lighter.

I saw him that day. My wife and I passed by my parents' house on the way back home from a trip. I hugged him, told him I loved him. Couldn't ask for much more than that. He died of a heart attack a couple hours after we left.

I was lucky to have some sort of closure with him but anyone who's experienced loss like that can tell you grief sticks around. Sure, it changes from being mad at the world and everyone in it to having a few special voicemails you'll never delete--a fragile time capsule of a file named dadvm.mp4 backed up in a few different spots. Tearing up at a few old songs that aren't sad in the slightest.

Southern funerals are the best and the worst. You get to (have to) see and talk to everyone who has ever even been in the same ZIP code as the deceased and each of them has a different take on the whole affair.

"He doesn't look like himself." Right he died, yeah.

"Somebody's gotta take care of your mom now!" Noted, I'll get right on that after I figure out how I'm going to do this at all.

But I heard so many stories. Dad traveled the US working construction for years before I was born. I met people who told me such cool things about him. One of those tragic pieces of the parent-child relationship is that you don't always get a clear picture of who your parent was--at least not a full one. On that day, my dad was further from me than I had ever experienced and yet I had a fuller picture of who he was than I ever had before.

I spoke on the phone for most of an hour with the organ donor phone rep the night before the service, I delivered the photo slideshow that played during the service, I picked out the songs that played and were sung, I was at the visitation for hours and shook more hands than I can count, I spoke about my dad before the eulogy, I helped carry the casket, I put a flower on the casket as they lowered it. Then I went home and it was quiet. And I was tired.

Uncharted 4: A Thief's End is about ending things. On its surface, it’s very much the pulp globetrotting action-adventure the series is known for, and it does that exceptionally well. Series-first semi-open world spaces are gorgeously brought to life. Fully operable vehicles make their debut and are executed wonderfully. This will sound silly but this game has the most impressive rope physics of any I’ve ever played. How is one of the highlights of PlayStation Indiana Jones the tow cable? I know that sounds like a dig but I promise it’s not.

The game is excellent. Certainly not above reproach, but excellent at most everything it attempts.

But it’s really about grappling with obligation. It’s about determining where your personal desires begin and end, where they overlap with your responsibilities, and how your life is influenced by those around you. It’s about examining your life and figuring out when it’s best, and healthiest to let something end. It’s about being better at Crash Bandicoot than your partner.

The night of May 17th, 2016 I didn’t want all that. I wanted the pulp and the fun of that world. I love that series. So around midnight I downloaded the game, cracked open a bag of cold leftover chicken tenders, and started playing. I beat the game on Hard mode on the 21st. Later that year I bought the strategy guide/art book and started a Crushing mode playthrough. It actually wasn’t as bad as I expected but it certainly wasn’t easy. I was digging through something that required effort.

And then life moved on. I bottled stuff up, Mom struggled with a very different life, people expected new things from me, and I had to do some growing up pretty quickly. Mind you, I was 23. I’m not about to play some “smol bean 23-year-old” sympathy schtick but I was a year into being married, living in a new place, taking care of myself for the first time, and a big part of my support system went away. Changes had to happen, and so they did.

Mom and I got good at talking on the phone. We visited a lot. She started taking care of one of our dogs (and still does; shout out to Midas). We went to a couple different grief seminars. I eventually started therapy. We talked about the things he would have liked; the people he should have met. With each new job or stage in life Mom said, “your dad would be proud.” I found an old voicemail where he wasn’t saying anything important. Just “Call me back when you can, buddy.” He’d call me goofy for keeping it but he’d secretly be happy I do.

Every year around mid-May I boot back up Uncharted 4. For the last 6 or so I’ve been stuck at a very specific checkpoint in the aptly named Chapter 13 – Marooned. Why the difficulty peak of the game is at chapter 13 of 22, I’ll never know. But every year, I try that checkpoint for a couple hours, get frustrated, and move on. I’d like to tell you this year’s attempt was some miraculous breakthrough. That the voice of my father harkened through that thin veil and told me the right way to murder 1,000 paramilitants. Hell, how cool would it have been if this breakthrough was in 2026? A clean decade after he passed. Beating this dumb little project and putting a clean bow on that chapter of life? But that’s not how doing difficult things works. It’s slow and requires repetition, refinement, consistency, and dumb luck.

On June 1 of 2024, I quietly beat Uncharted 4 on Crushing. I was the only one awake in the house and there were no leftover chicken tenders available at the time. My dad wasn’t a video game guy but I think he would have liking watching a playthrough of Uncharted 4—though probably not one that took 8 years. I’m a very different person than who I was 8 years ago but I hope I’m someone he would like.

Not bad!

More of the same for better and worse. It still feels terrible to move around spaces and difficulty is super inconsistent puzzle-to-puzzle. We got some pretty thoughtful asset flips and a neat (albeit short) multi-room, murder mystery for the finale. Doesn't reach the same highs as the base game but it felt worth the $8ish.

Beautiful railroading.

Hellblade II reminds me of Evolve. It really shouldn't. The games are nothing alike. Nearly a decade removed from one another, they don't share any gameplay similarities. They aren't made to appeal to similar audiences. Their only visual similarity is... "dark." But the comparison between the two is far more pervasive than any of those traits though. Simply put, I heard about both games way too much before they finally came out.

Part of Hellblade's appeal was surprise. Not to belittle the accomplishments of that game, but the package was really complete because each moment was an unexpected treat--a testament to big things in small packages. It was a new IP doing unique and exciting things. Hellblade II is almost the opposite: a 6-hour movie stuffed with more of the same. Gorgeous simplicity polished to a safe, market-researched, and replicable sheen.

To be fair, there's a notable amount to love here that's done extremely well. Hellblade II features a full cast joining Senua brought to life by killer performances across the board. The audio design is second to none and the visuals throughout made me feel like I was less playing a video game and more watching some kind of 4K tech demo for high-end TVs. All good stuff. But man, that is not why I play video games. None of that will stick with me. The game is shockingly simple. Most of my playtime was spent slowly walking forward (there's a toggle sprint option in settings; retweet to save a life). There are a handful of combat instances that look insane but are extremely rudimentary. I figured out in the second combat sequence that there are very few reasons to ever use the heavy attack. Spam light attack, dodge/block, activate #SenuaMode, and move on.

I would be remiss to not mention the valid critique of both Hellblade titles falling prey to the "magical disabled person" trope but dude. It is it in full force in Hellblade II. Whereas the first title felt earnest if a bit flawed in its attempt to emulate and respectfully consider psychosis, Hellblade II swings wildly between presenting Senua's struggle as either not affecting her at all and it serving as a superhuman ability making her the only one who can heal the world of its darkness. It's messy and ultimately pointless this time around.

Hellblade II was initially announced and marketed as a launch title for the Xbox Series consoles which came out about 3.5 years ago at the time of this writing. I know art is never as simple as "more time = better thing" but as someone trying to figure out what good is coming of Microsoft gobbling up all these developers, I'm still left wondering. We're waiting longer for fewer, less interesting games.

Do you remember Brink? Ubisoft remembers Brink and they made a whole Call of Duty about it.

Billy Basso, you beautiful bastard, you did it. How did one guy make this?

I've always been a victim of hyperbole. The internet told me that Animal Well was making people feel things. I listened to YouTube reviewers describe it as a game that reminds you of what gaming is all about. I read tweets calling it an obvious front-runner for GOTY and one of the best, most unique games in a very long time. I'm not about to say those people were speaking disingenuously--I truly believe the 5/5 reviews--but I do think that Animal Well is at its best when its understated and allowed to silently speak for itself.

Not unlike your biological mother, Animal Well is a short, tight, and gorgeous experience that manages to rapidly shift between quaint charm and instinctive terror at the drop of a hat. How Basso managed to jump scare me with a kangaroo that many times is beyond me. A friend described the artstyle as "Neon Wet" and that's probably the best short hand I can give for the game's look without really taking away some of its magic. Just go play the game if the visuals even remotely interest you.

Like all the best horror-adjacent games, your combat options here are extremely limited. Unlike those same horror games, Animal Well takes that lack of offensive capability and uses it to empower you. You are challenged to pause, and contemplate, and plan, and observe--to ask yourself "wait can I do that?" And you usually can. It takes a special game to offer you that sort of reward to meet your effort.

I'm not done with Animal Well. I rolled credits but there's so much game still here (think Fez or Tunic), but I do think I'm at a point where its socially-created hooks aren't as deeply in me. I can sit with it now and enjoy it. That may be how I should have approached the game from the start.

If you plan to play the game, I recommend that you don't go too quickly. Poke around. Mess with things that look out of place and let yourself consider Billy Basso's first game as its own world rather than a "GOTY contender" or "reason to game again." Be a little pensive dude and let yourself get swept up in it all. It's worth that.

Some flash, a lot of filler.

The most excited I was for Starfield leading up to its launch last year was when a Phil Spencer quote started floating around correcting the common guess that Starfield would be "Skyrim in space." Spencer told IGN that the game is "more Oblivion than Skyrim" and that he already had over 200 hours played prior to release across multiple playthroughs.

The idea of a modern Bethesda taking a run at Oblivion's vibe with Skyrim's quality of life sensibilities all in a new, unique universe sounds so thrilling! You can be a cowboy! An explorer! A corporate spy! No sanded off edges, baby. The galaxy is your playground!

The reality? You can uhh... be in a menu mostly I guess.

On paper, the universe of Starfield is technically the most expansive that Bethesa has even presented (just hang with me for a second, Morrowind truthers). In execution, it's the dev's emptiest, most disconnected series of rooms yet. Most of my time was spent tinkering away in clunky menus to find the best, most direct fast travel paths to mission objectives. The result is that I know the names of maybe 3 locations from my playtime and they have no meaningful relative positioning to or from one another.

I hear you. "Don't use fast travel if you don't want everything to feel so trivial and disjointed." Sure, great idea for the majority of relatively open world games. But Starfield is the furthest thing from an open world game. Here's a quick example: relatively early on you're presented with a gameplay loop of leaving your team's headquarters, going to an orbital watch station, taking on a research mission, and collecting the item found by that orbital beacon's search. With no fast traveling to optimize your path, the process I just described takes you through eight (8) loading screens.

What's worse than the inordinate amount of screens you have to wait through is that the game just isn't fun to play. The recent patch that brought target 60 FPS to consoles is huge but nowhere near what the game needs to feel polished. Combat is loose and inaccurate. Imagine Fallout 3 without a VATS system and it's only a tiny bit better than that. Traversal largely consists of you running out of oxygen and getting any number of debuffing ailments depending on if the current planet is too hot, cold, or irradiated.

Starfield is not especially fun. But it is often beautiful.

Stand completely still somewhere in the game--in Neon, aboard your ship, near some ancient alien monoliths--and you'll see what I mean. Admittedly the game is often bland but when the right moments come together, things are gorgeous. The game smartly focuses on these visual design choices in the very late game offering a moment or two that I could see making someone downright emotional.

Very thankful I didn't pay money for this game specifically. Gamepass came in clutch. I think I'm done with this one for a long time unless something big happens.

"I've seen enough. I'm calling this one."

What's there to say? They added horde mode, re-released a suite of series-favorite weapons, introduced the first "shiny" weapons to the franchise, gave lore-heads some solid content, added a sort of "boss rush" mode for endgame content, opened all but one old expansion to anyone, and made one of the fan-favorite characters the face of the whole affair. Oh yeah and all of that was free.

Bungie swung for the fences here because they had to. With the final announced annual expansion just weeks away, they needed good word of mouth. So they're fixing and offering things that should have been done a long time ago. I won't act like it isn't great having the current in-game quality of life but to know it's all a last-ditch effort to pass the vibe check for The Final Shape's victory lap leaves a weird taste in my mouth.

I'm a Destiny mark so I'll play the new expansion, but I don't know anyone who is excited for what's next for Destiny after TFS. Myself included.

Beat the campaign so I feel comfortable writing a review at this point.

MWIII was supposedly intended to be a large DLC for MWII and man does it reek of that original intent. That's mostly a bad-to-midling thing but it does provide for a solid multiplayer experience. If we share the same brain rot and you bought skins or other goodies from the CoD store for CP (God why?) those are still around. No hard resets here. MWII had a solid gameplay experience and that has been maintained and even improved in some ways like faster, tighter controls and a whole new suite of gadgets and weapons on top of the existing MWII set. The wheel wasn't reinvented here--it was polished. Multiplayer is good but definitely not worth dusting off your GameBattles account and dumping in dozens of hours.

The campaign is where that DLC accusation is in full presentation. To my knowledge this is the first year-to-year story continuation in franchise history. MWIII picks up almost immediately after the MWII campaign left off. We have a series-best cast of characters and a new main villain is introduced in a meaningful sense. The problem is that it doesn't really go anywhere. This is exacerbated by the fact that MWIII wants to be the 2009 Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 so badly. The atmosphere of the campaign is less a reboot of one of the most beloved blockbuster FPS campaigns of all time and more like if someone made a shooter campaign out of the CoD battle royale game peppered with some Glup Shitto seasoning to disguise things a bit (remember when they stormed that airport in MW2? What if it was a soccer field and you were there?!).

And that battle royale thing isn't just a vague jab. Of the 14 campaign missions, 6 of them are "Open Combat" missions--a sort of PvE round of CoD Warzone where you have various objectives that boil down to "move across the map." At their best, CoD campaigns are cinematic and these missions trade that for... replay value I guess? I can't imagine anyone wanting to do that, though. The remaining 8 missions are each shorter than any other CoD campaign missions I can remember. Not bad. Just short and simple.

The game also tries to have its "big cool evil guy does terrible thing" moment at the end to setup for more in the future. No spoilers but it ends up feeling rushed, hollow, and a bit like a fuck you to anyone who cares about the central cast of characters. I don't especially care about them but this story beat made sure I kind of can't in the future.

If you like CoD, sure. Check this out on deep discount. No one should pay $70 for this reheated pass at MWII.

I always got this idea as a kid that the greatest thing a single-player game could aspire to was to be multi-player. Crash Bandicoot? Get Coco in the mix too. Mario 64? Get Yoshi off that dang roof and let's chill together. Modding and the internet have made my terrible little kid ideas possible and the results are that it's... fine? Any number of mods that let you have Mario and Luigi on screen at one time are a cool novelty but something is almost certainly lost in that leap from curated, individual experience to virtual cat-herding wish fulfillment session. Enter: The Outlast Trials

So yes, worse video game in some ways. But to some extent, I'm just happy Red Barrels is still making things. Outlast is one of my favorite horror games of all time but Outlast 2 really missed the mark for me. Anytime a sequel fumbles, I get nervous that we may never see the IP (or even the studio) again. Instead of dying out, Red Barrels said "alright let's do a weird one" and I love that (even if it isn't a 5/5).

The Outlast Trials has no right to work as well as it does. I mean, this franchise is known for constant quiet tension shattered by explosive moments of disgusting horror. And yet here I am with my dumbass friends taking turns throwing bricks at a horny cop with a cattle prod. I could see that being a real problem for some fans of the series but in execution it's a blast. For what it's worth, the game is fundamentally built on an almost arcade-ified version of the Outlast formula that can be played entirely solo. In that way, it probably is objectively worse than its predecessors. But get a few friends in the mix and suddenly you're running around a carnival haunted house together just howling and yelling the whole way.

At the end of the day, the game's solid and even better with friends. The true achievement is managing to take such an intimate experience and turning it into an amusement park ride while keeping some level of quality. Do I want this to be the future of the franchise? Absolutely not. But I hope it effectively funds a true Outlast 3.

Another Crab's Treasure feels like it was made as a psyop to get me specifically to buy and play a video game.

A mechanically competent souls-like with a vivid, super-cute art style featuring a ton of great jokes and some genre-best platforming? I've been following this game since its announcement and I'm so pleased that Aggro Crab pulled this off. To be all these things while managing to tell an interesting story is massively impressive for the small studio's sophomore title.

As much as I love the game, I can't dismiss the significant bugs and other performance issues. ACT is magnitudes more technically ambitious than the studio's first game and it comes close to buckling under that pressure at times--particularly on console. What should be seamless transitions into new areas had me wishing for a AAA-style "squeezing through a crack in the cave wall hidden loading screen." There are other moments and monsters that can completely wreck the game as well. At the time of this writing, there's a blue pufferfish in the late game that the dev is requesting no one kill because it can crash the game (I killed it twice and it made things super crunchy until I reset the game but don't tell anybody). I played on Series X and experienced these issues. Apparently the Switch version of the game is notably worse with some folks feeling scammed by the markedly poor experience.

So if you're on the fence, give this one more time to cook. The dev is actively putting out patches and hot fixes for the big things and I'm hopeful bigger fixes will come with the game's success. In spite of all that, I was enamored for my entire playtime.

Aggro Crab has become one of my day one purchase developers.

A ton of unique and interesting things here.

At first glance, Rising is Bayonetta with some Metal Gear branding. In execution, it shares some DNA but handles parrying, dodging, QTEs, and movement differently enough to really stand out as its own thing.

Most cutscenes are some very quotable nonsense but man is it all so rad. With a soundtrack ripped straight from Sonic Adventure 2 and ridiculous anime fight presentation throughout, Rising is always a fun ride.

If I didn’t have 10 years of Platinum games to look back on since its release, I would wish for a direct sequel to really polish execution and make the combat feel tighter. But it seems like this is the best PlatinumGames has to offer—give or take Nier: Automata.

I think this is what dudes mean when they say a game has “soul.”

Sometime in 2023 a development team played Lethal Company and said, “I like this but I wish we could kind of just fuck around.” Such was the conception of Content Warning.

Very silly and fun with a group of friends. Not much deeper than that as far as I can tell.

Bog-standard Fortnite.

A couple cool new skins, more very okay skins. Two new, pretty POIs. Medallions got fleshed out or ruined depending on who you ask. And that's... about it.

Oh, they also removed cosmetic item rarities to obfuscate the pricing scale and locked Aang behind a terrible mini-pass to make him more expensive. I guess the machine printing their unlimited money wasn't printing fast enough.

Good and special game. I've seen what I need to make a judgment.

The sum is definitely greater than the parts here. Basic 3rd person shooter mechanics, simple maps, and generic enemies add up to a multiplayer experience that will be hard to beat this year. But what really makes this game something special is its take on the "games as a service" model.

With an overarching free progression track supplemented by monthly premium paths on top of an already paid game, I can totally understand why someone would be put out by the sell of Helldivers 2. In practice however, premium currency is quickly and freely given and the items you can purchase with it are largely cosmetic only contributing to additional gameplay variety at times. Nothing here is pay-to-win. I paid for the game itself and nothing more and never once did I feel like I was missing out on something or that anything was attainable only with my credit card. The truly commendable part of the game's model, though, is how alive it is as a warzone. Arrowhead have made something that feels more akin to a tabletop game master controlling a board than a developer providing a content drip feed.

The game has a great aesthetic and the dev leaned in hard to social media and community engagement to push that aesthetic. Sure a brand awareness win is great but this game created brand advocates. That's big. The question is whether that advocacy lasts throughout the year or if it's already winding down as other games fill backlogs.

I'll be back for sure. Can't wait to see what new factions and locations will mean for the game. This one is in the rotation.

Sometimes it's fun to have a thing to do on your phone every day.

Barely a game. Apparently it has mechanics of some sort but none of them are meaningfully explained and I have no desire to be explained them by an 11 year old on YouTube.