I'm writing this review as I go through a third playthrough of this game, working on a 100% run. Very few games have touched me in a way where I felt the need to 100% them, but Xenogears is the third on my list that I wanted to master because it quickly became so dear to me.
I'm going to try to keep this brief, as not to overshare on the internet, but like Fei, I am a person with a Dissociative Disorder. When 'I' played the game back in 2015, it wasn't me who played the game, but rather someone else. And said person did not like the game too much. Time passed, and my memory of this game was quite blocky, I kept 'my' old opinion of it, but I did want to revisit it so I could form my own opinion on it. After my second revisit, this game snuck its way into my Top 3 favourite games, and currently with my third playthrough, it is my favourite game of all time. I have been a fan of the Xeno series for a long time, and I feel it's only fitting that the original takes the top spot. It has everything I love in it, and a story that is so deeply personal to me as well.
When someone tells you Xenogears is "just that good", they're right. They don't make games like this anymore. Some may come close, but none will ever be Xenogears.
For gameplay, I love the ground battles so much. Destroying everything with Deathblows has got to be one of the most awesome things to do in this game. The spritework is absolutely stunning too; it's detailed enough to understand what's going on perfectly but vague enough to leave plenty of interpretation up to player in terms of what's happening. The gameplay itself also has many nods to foreshadowing throughout the game, such as Grahf's fight or the battle with Id. Both have a lot to tell about their true identities if you pay attention.
I honestly did not enjoy Gear combat as much. It's fun, in a way that really makes you think, but looking back at the rest of the Xeno games, I don't think mech fights have ever been on the top of my list. Sure you're doing more damage on paper, but it's not as exhilarating or satisfying as being a tiny person beating up a giant monster. That's probably just me though! I will say that ground battles make you think as well, but it's just more enjoyable in the way everything flows. I really love combat systems that make you overthink things. I know a lot of people dislike the combat of Xenogears, and I get that, but I'm happy to be one of the people who really have a hold on how combat works.
The plot of this game and the symbolism associated with said plot is truly something else. It was a daring step to take back then, and I'd argue even now it's a game that can be controversial (or rather, it tells a story that a lot of people need to hear, but they don't want to hear it/are not ready to understand it). As a Jew, this game specifically hit home with me. There's so many references to my culture throughout this game, and seeing that portrayed in something so... normally really makes me happy. Every country in the game? That's a month in the Hebrew calendar. That's a tiny example, but it's something that fills me with pride. The themes of the game itself also remind me of a lot of things seen in Jewish Mysticism and the general history of my people, even if it's a given.
Now, onto the art of this game. The character designs are all phenomenal and none of them are really offensive or ugly (some boring, but they're for one-off characters so I don't really see it as an issue). The way everything translates into the sprites is really cool too, because it gives you a few different interpretations of the characters. I miss spritework in games, and Xenogears happened to nail a perfect balance of 3d and sprites. I've never seen anything like it honestly. The music is of course, art as well. I love Yasunori Mitsuda's work, and it really shines through here. There's a few tracks I find simple, but it boils down to my personal taste; most are masterpieces, just repetitive.
The world itself is so detailed and full of life. Even in the beginning, when you're in Lahan, there's so many things to do and check. You can interact with a ton of tiny things that just make the game feel like so much more than pixels on a screen. I particularly loved talking to cats and seeing how their tails flicked when they meowed. It's such a useless feature, but that's what makes it great. There's also little notes and signs you can read throughout the game, like what Dan wrote in Lahan, Sigurd leaving a note to say not to open the Yggdrasil's hatch (Probably for Bart), or even Bart's "Enter and die" note on the door to his room. I rarely see such things from modern games - most of them that do are indies - and that just shows the mindset Tetsuya Takahashi, Soraya Saga, and Square had going into this.
Now onto what I dislike about this game.
My biggest gripe, despite how much it hit home for me, is the portrayal of Fei's DID. Luckily, Id is a very loved character, but he still plays into the 'evil' alter trope a little. He's an antagonist, and a lot of his actions come off as someone who is unhinged. He rightfully is destructive and angry - as he has had no therapy and is living a life full of trauma - but aside from the slight redemption he gets at the end of the game after being shown the truth of his memories, it's difficult to place how this portrayal makes me feel. On top of that, Fei integrates with Id, the Coward, and his 'fragment' personality in a literal second. This is not how things work with real systems, it can take years of therapy for something like this to be achieved. No one even brings it up after it happens, and Fei shows no signs of being more complete aside from his awakening as a contact. It may have been due to the way disc 2 was handled and rushed, but overall? It sucks. No party member even brings it up. It's an unfitting resolution to one of the 'mysteries' (it's obvious, though) of the game that had been presented since the start.
Another issue I have is how much was left to be explained in Perfect Works. I want to preface this with I love Perfect Works and I preach to people about how they need to read it. Also, the game was extremely rushed so it's a godsend we got a whole book explaining things we weren't privy to, so I do not fault Perfect Works itself. But rather, there's small things in the game that we should've seen explained. This is an obscure example, but the names of the Gazel Ministry being left to be told in a book seems extremely random. I had so many issues realising which member was speaking because they were essentially unnamed. It's a QoL thing and also from a lore standpoint there really should've been some dedicated scenes to some of the things we see in there, versus other unnecessary scenes that the game loves to drag out.
A lot of the other things I have issues with have already been mentioned, and I am not here to be an echo chamber. I'm here to shed light on what others maybe haven't. A lot of characterisation bothers me though. Elly is a solider for the love of God, why is she always in distress and asking for help? You know the answer (misogyny). So many characters have build ups either for them to then act OOC or only speak 6 lines of dialogue for the rest of the game. It really is a shame because I feel if given the proper time and dedication, every party member would be nearly on par with each other. For the most part.
Overall I truly love this game. It tells so much more than just a story, and even to people who don't have a first hand experience with the things the game covers, it touches people's hearts regardless. That's absolutely incredible.
It's a classic that holds up to today's standards and even surpasses them. I love the entire Xeno series, but where it all began is just so sacred. Fei is my favourite protagonist ever, coming from someone who doesn't enjoy protagonists often, so let that speak for itself.
Apologies if this sounds like a ramble or anything, but I just had to give my favourite game from my favourite series a review with all my love poured into it.
Also, I do hope my review gives someone a little more insight into someone directly impacted by the game's themes, and if you have any questions you're free to talk down in the comments or ask me elsewhere.