I’m laughing. I watch the ending CGI video play as the name “TETSUYA NOMURA” flashes onto the screen. I’m laughing hysterically. What the hell did I just play.

Dirge of Cerberus is not a Final Fantasy VII game. The story features returning characters and locations, but aside from that there’s really nothing really tying this back to Final Fantasy VII. To think the most popular and beloved rpg of all time led to…whatever this is.
To give credit where credit is due, there were some aspects of the story and gameplay that I enjoyed. The overall presentation and atmosphere is absolutely stellar in fact, but it’s definitely not enough to carry a game such as this one. Well, without prolonging this introduction any longer, here is the third part of my Final Fantasy VII series retrospective.

Unfortunately what’s ultimately holding back the gameplay isn’t how Vincent controls, but rather everything else in these damned stages. Vincent controls swiftly and smoothly and there is a flow to his movements, but levels are just too obtuse for their own good. There is some minimal exploration but it is extremely forced and usually just makes levels way more tedious than needed. You typically need to hunt down a cardkey to allow access to the next area which isn’t a bad idea on its own, but they’re always in a small offshoot room with a bunch of enemies that don’t enhance the level’s structure at all. Getting the cardkey is just delaying the inevitable level progression with annoying enemies and design. The developers must’ve just given up by the end of the game because you’re consistently thrown into these large areas where you have barely any time to react to oncoming bullets and no places to gain legitimate cover. It doesn’t help that these levels already feel needlessly long due to the terrible pacing. Sometimes in the middle of a level you’ll get a random lore dump for Vincent’s backstory for no reason. What is the point of this? Story developments are usually a reward for completing stages but here they just show up whenever the hell they want.
My one positive point here is the weapon customization. It’s actually handled pretty well; you have three main weapon types: machine gun, handgun, and rifle. You can easily switch between these three with the press of a button which is handy and you can individually customize each weapon slot with whatever you want.
The story is a classic Tetsuya Nomura mid 2000s weirdass story. Overall it’s pretty lackluster with a lot of things just seeming very pointless in the end. The main villains, the Tsviets, are cool at first because you’re curious about their backstories and motivations, but when they’re actually revealed it’s extremely boring and leaves no impact. They don’t even have backstories; they’re just experiments working for their leader because they have no other option. Okay? A lot of this is honestly similar to Kingdom Hearts in that regard but to a much worse extent. Characters with badass designs who look cool end up being underwhelming compositionally. The bad lip syncing similar to Advent Children doesn’t help this at all. Shelke’s character arc was probably the best part of the whole story since it was actually interesting. Vincent’s backstory is laid out in such a confusing Kingdom Hearts-style way where you end up not caring that much by the end. Most of the voice acting was pretty good though, especially Steve Blum doing his classic shtick as Vincent.
I wrote goddamn NOTES for this shit while I was playing. That’s how insane this game drove me; I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Now that I’ve finished the game I’m left with this conflicted impression of a game that was ultimately conflicted about what it even wanted to accomplish.

“Those who can’t come by themselves will absolutely come by my hand.
Original post @GACKT #GACKT #workout #dailyworkout”