Ayo FUCK Brian Griffin in particular EAT CHOCOLATE YOU FUCKING CUNT PIECE OF SH
The WORST stealth mechanics in creation history. Hiding behind a desk? THE GAME DISAGREES. This prison inmate that's on the run from the police? STAND NEAR HIM AND HE YELLS TO THE POLICE WHERE YOU ARE, YOU'RE FUCKING YOURSELF MORE THAN ME IN THIS SITUATION WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING. Stand near a random metal object? A METER FILLS UP FORCING BRIAN TO GIVE IN TO HIS URGES AND PISS ON IT, BLOWING YOUR COVER. THERE'S LIKE 12 EPISODES WHERE WE SEE HIM ON 17 HOUR TRANS-CONTINENTAL AIRPLANE FLIGHTS, YOU TELLING ME HE WAS PISSING AND SHITTING THE WHOLE TIME WHAT IS THIS MECHANIC GET FUCKED
The Peter levels, dumptruck ASS also. Spam square. Spam square. Spam squ- UH OH, THIS ENEMY'S IMMUNE TO THIS ATTACK... so now just SPAM CIRCLE instead. Spam circle. Spam circle. Spam cir- SPLOOPS IMMUNE TO THIS ATTACK NOW... so just go back to SPAM SQUARE. THIS ISN'T DEPTH FAM IT'S STILL JUST SPAMMING BUTTONS EXCEPT NOW IT TAKES EVEN LONGER, I'M BORED AS FUCK
The Stewie sections are easily the best, which is to say they're still DOG SHIT. JUMP OVER THE SMALLEST PLATFORMS ATOMICALLY POSSIBLE WITH CONTROLS LOOSER THAN ME ON AN AVERAGE SATURDAY, BRIAN HAS MORE CONTROL OVER HIS SHITTY PISS THAN THIS. So you've fallen off the platform, meaning you'll die and respawn, right? HOW ABOUT YOU FALL SEVEN FLOORS DOWN INSTEAD, MEANING YOU HAVE TO REDO THE LAST TWO MINUTES OF GAMEPLAY EAT SHIT
AND THEN THERE'S SECTIONS WHERE YOU UNCONTROLLABLY SLIDE THROUGH POOLS AND DOWN RAMPS, IS THIS A FUCKING JOKE. I noticed the tip of the bone of your elbow vaguely grazed the wall there, GET BOUNCED 500 MILES INTO A LANDMINE YEEEAAAHHH.
But don't worry because here's a segment where a laser grid blocks your path and the only way to turn it off is to bounce a bullet off the wall in such a specific way that it ricochets off multiple consecutive objects gotta be the correct angle though or it won't work to aim you have to stand perfectly still but OOPS here's 15 enemies shooting at you so you gotta keep moving so using the direct aim isn't viable but OOPS-ER aiming without standing still is somehow looser than the platforming so good luck spamming shots while avoiding shots while constantly moving the bullets are bouncing but not the way we wanted NOW YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF AMMO AND HEALTH AND PATIENCE AND WILL TO LIVE YAAAY YOU DID IT HERE'S 36 MORE ENEMIES SPAM SQUARE
QUICK TIME EVENTS AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH
The invisible walls are mimes, that's pretty good lol
The WORST stealth mechanics in creation history. Hiding behind a desk? THE GAME DISAGREES. This prison inmate that's on the run from the police? STAND NEAR HIM AND HE YELLS TO THE POLICE WHERE YOU ARE, YOU'RE FUCKING YOURSELF MORE THAN ME IN THIS SITUATION WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING. Stand near a random metal object? A METER FILLS UP FORCING BRIAN TO GIVE IN TO HIS URGES AND PISS ON IT, BLOWING YOUR COVER. THERE'S LIKE 12 EPISODES WHERE WE SEE HIM ON 17 HOUR TRANS-CONTINENTAL AIRPLANE FLIGHTS, YOU TELLING ME HE WAS PISSING AND SHITTING THE WHOLE TIME WHAT IS THIS MECHANIC GET FUCKED
The Peter levels, dumptruck ASS also. Spam square. Spam square. Spam squ- UH OH, THIS ENEMY'S IMMUNE TO THIS ATTACK... so now just SPAM CIRCLE instead. Spam circle. Spam circle. Spam cir- SPLOOPS IMMUNE TO THIS ATTACK NOW... so just go back to SPAM SQUARE. THIS ISN'T DEPTH FAM IT'S STILL JUST SPAMMING BUTTONS EXCEPT NOW IT TAKES EVEN LONGER, I'M BORED AS FUCK
The Stewie sections are easily the best, which is to say they're still DOG SHIT. JUMP OVER THE SMALLEST PLATFORMS ATOMICALLY POSSIBLE WITH CONTROLS LOOSER THAN ME ON AN AVERAGE SATURDAY, BRIAN HAS MORE CONTROL OVER HIS SHITTY PISS THAN THIS. So you've fallen off the platform, meaning you'll die and respawn, right? HOW ABOUT YOU FALL SEVEN FLOORS DOWN INSTEAD, MEANING YOU HAVE TO REDO THE LAST TWO MINUTES OF GAMEPLAY EAT SHIT
AND THEN THERE'S SECTIONS WHERE YOU UNCONTROLLABLY SLIDE THROUGH POOLS AND DOWN RAMPS, IS THIS A FUCKING JOKE. I noticed the tip of the bone of your elbow vaguely grazed the wall there, GET BOUNCED 500 MILES INTO A LANDMINE YEEEAAAHHH.
But don't worry because here's a segment where a laser grid blocks your path and the only way to turn it off is to bounce a bullet off the wall in such a specific way that it ricochets off multiple consecutive objects gotta be the correct angle though or it won't work to aim you have to stand perfectly still but OOPS here's 15 enemies shooting at you so you gotta keep moving so using the direct aim isn't viable but OOPS-ER aiming without standing still is somehow looser than the platforming so good luck spamming shots while avoiding shots while constantly moving the bullets are bouncing but not the way we wanted NOW YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF AMMO AND HEALTH AND PATIENCE AND WILL TO LIVE YAAAY YOU DID IT HERE'S 36 MORE ENEMIES SPAM SQUARE
QUICK TIME EVENTS AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH
The invisible walls are mimes, that's pretty good lol