KiddieMan
1386 Reviews liked by KiddieMan
A really fun and enjoyable lego game that isn't really as great as some of the others its just a pretty fun game that's all.
I think this is just a fun lego game. The soundtrack is honestly the best part of it. I like the pants mechanic, thats really fun. The level design is pretty nice and I think the master builder mechanic and the blueprint mechanic should come back, they were pretty cool.
7/10
7/10
Half-Life: Source
2004
It's a shame this never got fixed officially. It wasn't amazing before, but it was definitely pretty solid, but years of neglect lead to a game that's ugly, glitchy, and honestly unacceptable as a real retail product. Should they have gone back and fixed it? Yes, but if they were gonna continue to let it rot away, then delisting it was probably the right move.
Half-Life: Source
2004
This was my first experience with the original Half-Life and in 2008 I really didn't know what I was missing. Now that I do, I couldn't choose to play this over the original, especially not now that the 25th anniversary update exists.
Steam says I've put 85 hours into this and I think the game's developer console REALLY extends that playtime - I mention in a Steam review that I would just spawn NPCs and pin them to the walls of Black Mesa with the crossbow. That's psycho behaviour but damn if I didn't enjoy it at the time.
Nowadays though, it's far far inferior and it's hard to believe this was an actual Valve product that they no longer offer for sale.
Steam says I've put 85 hours into this and I think the game's developer console REALLY extends that playtime - I mention in a Steam review that I would just spawn NPCs and pin them to the walls of Black Mesa with the crossbow. That's psycho behaviour but damn if I didn't enjoy it at the time.
Nowadays though, it's far far inferior and it's hard to believe this was an actual Valve product that they no longer offer for sale.
Half-Life: Source
2004
Just play the original Half Life. Even Valve disowns Half Life: Source.
I mean, the cultural impact Half Life: Source has can't be understated. Without Half Life: Source, we couldn't have classics such as Freeman's Mind. But in terms of playing Half Life? Just play the GoldSrc version.
I mean, the cultural impact Half Life: Source has can't be understated. Without Half Life: Source, we couldn't have classics such as Freeman's Mind. But in terms of playing Half Life? Just play the GoldSrc version.
Donkey Kong Land
1995
I HATE THE GAME BOY I HATE THE GAME BOY I HATE THE GAME BOY I HATE THE GAME BOY I HATE THE GAME BOY I HATE THE GAME BOY I HATE THE GAME BOY I HATE THE GAME BOY I HATE THE GAME BOY
I actually like this game. My first experience didn't go too well since I was behind the learning curve. But now that I'm over that hump, I have a lot of respect for this DKC demake.
-The artstyle remains intact
-I never had trouble reading the screen (chalk it up to my perfect, albeit short-sighted vision)
-Most - like 93% - of the bonus barrels weren't cryptically hidden (though with every DKC game, there were a handful I needed to hunt down with a guide up)
-Rolling through enemies no longer speeds our hairy heroes up to mach speed, goomba stomping does this instead (bopping the flying pigs in the sky levels was nerve-wracking for this reason)
-Obstacles entered the screen at a reactable speed, IMO (Killer Instinct has honed my hand-eye coordination)
BUT I HATE THE GAME BOY I HATE THE GAME BOY I HATE THE GAME BOY I HATE THE GAME BOY I HATE THE GAME BOY I HATE THE GAME BOY I HATE THE GAME BOY I HATE THE GAME BOY
I actually like this game. My first experience didn't go too well since I was behind the learning curve. But now that I'm over that hump, I have a lot of respect for this DKC demake.
-The artstyle remains intact
-I never had trouble reading the screen (chalk it up to my perfect, albeit short-sighted vision)
-Most - like 93% - of the bonus barrels weren't cryptically hidden (though with every DKC game, there were a handful I needed to hunt down with a guide up)
-Rolling through enemies no longer speeds our hairy heroes up to mach speed, goomba stomping does this instead (bopping the flying pigs in the sky levels was nerve-wracking for this reason)
-Obstacles entered the screen at a reactable speed, IMO (Killer Instinct has honed my hand-eye coordination)
BUT I HATE THE GAME BOY I HATE THE GAME BOY I HATE THE GAME BOY I HATE THE GAME BOY I HATE THE GAME BOY I HATE THE GAME BOY I HATE THE GAME BOY I HATE THE GAME BOY
Half-Life
1998
This review contains spoilers
As someone who rarely plays shooters, it's no surprise I suck at Half-Life since I have no fundamentals. I can't aim, I can't keep my reticle on a moving target, can't keep my reticle on a target while moving, can't lead my shots, etc. Don't know how to combat hitscan weaponry either; every military grunt kicked my ass. Too many times I would just stand still and face-tank enemy fire while praying for my reload to complete (I can't track my ammo either).
To be transparent, I was using a controller instead of keyboard/mouse, and I understand this technological lack of precision handicaps me even with reticle lock-on. I will not be learning how to play with a keyboard however, because I can't co-ordinate my middle, ring, and pinky fingers at once. In fact, I am ideologically opposed to using more than my strongest fingers to press buttons (I've no interest in getting in a fightstick for this reason).
The game is beautiful in its own special way. Environments come alive with richly detailed textures and crazy colour splashes. The clean, scientificy look of the Lambda pumping station just tickles me. That Xen barrel factory looks like something right outta Scorn.
It's morbidly funny how Gordon can mutilate the corpses of his enemies and friends, which has to violate some Geneva convention.
Sound design is on point. Not much else to say 'cause Half-Life is as plainly good in this aspect as 'games that give every enemy a unique sound' are. I came to dread distorted HECU radio chatter and the cries of the babies. Oh I hate the babies.
Unfortunately these achievements in art and sound do little to guide the player along the critical path; the way forward is often unclear at first pass. "Surface Tension" in particular was filled with back-to-back headscratchers like the dam that kills you instantly so you have to jump into the water or the canyon, and the armory where you must hop out a window onto a thin ledge then jump across lockers. Two separate hallways in the Lambda pumping plant made me think I was backtracking, et cetera. Miraculously though, I was able to beat the game blind without a guide.
I will give this another playthrough sometime and maybe I won't die constantly or save scum from to finish. I wanna say HL2 was better at onboarding shooters for punters like me, but I don't remember much of my first playthrough, only the revisits with greater game knowledge. Though there are still many times in HL2 where the way forward is rather unclear.
Overall, cool game, but maybe I don't really get it.
To be transparent, I was using a controller instead of keyboard/mouse, and I understand this technological lack of precision handicaps me even with reticle lock-on. I will not be learning how to play with a keyboard however, because I can't co-ordinate my middle, ring, and pinky fingers at once. In fact, I am ideologically opposed to using more than my strongest fingers to press buttons (I've no interest in getting in a fightstick for this reason).
The game is beautiful in its own special way. Environments come alive with richly detailed textures and crazy colour splashes. The clean, scientificy look of the Lambda pumping station just tickles me. That Xen barrel factory looks like something right outta Scorn.
It's morbidly funny how Gordon can mutilate the corpses of his enemies and friends, which has to violate some Geneva convention.
Sound design is on point. Not much else to say 'cause Half-Life is as plainly good in this aspect as 'games that give every enemy a unique sound' are. I came to dread distorted HECU radio chatter and the cries of the babies. Oh I hate the babies.
Unfortunately these achievements in art and sound do little to guide the player along the critical path; the way forward is often unclear at first pass. "Surface Tension" in particular was filled with back-to-back headscratchers like the dam that kills you instantly so you have to jump into the water or the canyon, and the armory where you must hop out a window onto a thin ledge then jump across lockers. Two separate hallways in the Lambda pumping plant made me think I was backtracking, et cetera. Miraculously though, I was able to beat the game blind without a guide.
I will give this another playthrough sometime and maybe I won't die constantly or save scum from to finish. I wanna say HL2 was better at onboarding shooters for punters like me, but I don't remember much of my first playthrough, only the revisits with greater game knowledge. Though there are still many times in HL2 where the way forward is rather unclear.
Overall, cool game, but maybe I don't really get it.
judging RF4S as a remaster, it's... passable. the newlywed mode and another episodes are both cute, but there's not much depth to either of them- they're essentially just some extra romance scenes for each partner, which is fun. there's a decent amount of bug fixes/improvements for mechanics that could be annoying in the original game, but Special also introduces some audio/text issues that weren't present in the original... you get the idea. it's probably the best way to play this game, but not without some caveats.
i'd say the most notable thing is that it just doesn't look very good. the character portraits look great, but it's obvious that the rest of the game's textures were hastily upscaled from the 3DS version without much (if any) manual adjustment. it's something you'll get used to after playing for a bit, and it's mostly inoffensive in the grand scheme of things, but I mean... you can see it in pretty much any screenshot. it's not a pretty game if you look too closely at anything.
reviewing it as a full game, rather than just a remaster, though? oh my god. Rune Factory 4 knocks it out of the park in every area that I think a lot of newer farming sims miss, for me. there's a much bigger focus on character writing and relationships than you'll get with a game like Stardew Valley, and the main story ties those elements in with the game's RPG mechanics in a way that had me pretty invested from the jump. every character in Selphia has enough depth for you to form some kind of opinions on them, and the moment-to-moment dialogue is really fun.
given that Rune Factory's mission statement is "what if a farming sim and an action RPG were grafted into the same game", you're obviously working with a lot of different systems and ideas. the game leans into that very openly by giving you a cartoonish amount of skills to level for things like walking and sleeping, on top of the skills you'd expect. in spite of that, though, everything is streamlined and interconnected enough that it never feels cluttered or overwhelming.
the sum of those parts is a game that's just really, really good. RF4 made me remember what i loved so much about a genre that i've been pretty disillusioned with for a while, now. it's become an all-time favorite very quickly. there are mods if you want to get gay married. i made one of them.
i'd say the most notable thing is that it just doesn't look very good. the character portraits look great, but it's obvious that the rest of the game's textures were hastily upscaled from the 3DS version without much (if any) manual adjustment. it's something you'll get used to after playing for a bit, and it's mostly inoffensive in the grand scheme of things, but I mean... you can see it in pretty much any screenshot. it's not a pretty game if you look too closely at anything.
reviewing it as a full game, rather than just a remaster, though? oh my god. Rune Factory 4 knocks it out of the park in every area that I think a lot of newer farming sims miss, for me. there's a much bigger focus on character writing and relationships than you'll get with a game like Stardew Valley, and the main story ties those elements in with the game's RPG mechanics in a way that had me pretty invested from the jump. every character in Selphia has enough depth for you to form some kind of opinions on them, and the moment-to-moment dialogue is really fun.
given that Rune Factory's mission statement is "what if a farming sim and an action RPG were grafted into the same game", you're obviously working with a lot of different systems and ideas. the game leans into that very openly by giving you a cartoonish amount of skills to level for things like walking and sleeping, on top of the skills you'd expect. in spite of that, though, everything is streamlined and interconnected enough that it never feels cluttered or overwhelming.
the sum of those parts is a game that's just really, really good. RF4 made me remember what i loved so much about a genre that i've been pretty disillusioned with for a while, now. it's become an all-time favorite very quickly. there are mods if you want to get gay married. i made one of them.
Super Mario 64 DS
2004
i feel like it adapted pretty well to the dpad, it still blows my mind that mario 64 just runs like that on the ds, and also the minigames are a ton of fun
It's a good thing this is a "Noire game" and not a "Nep game", otherwise this might damage the good reputation of the Neptunia franchise! Ha, haha, haaaaaaaaaa...
I know someone who enjoyed this game because "it's a strategy game, you can't make them bad".
Are you sure about that?
I'd have to say this game's biggest flaw is the fact that it's built like a typical Neptunia RPG. Health and attack values are way larger than necessary, maps and enemy types are constantly reused. The game's big gimmick is lowering the exorbitant SP costs on your skills by keeping other units adjacent to you, represented by a yuri kiss on the cheek. This is counter-intuitive because grouping everyone together makes it absurdly easy for an enemy to stroll over and use an attack that targets your entire cluster of chibis. Sometimes you don't even need to be grouped together, some enemies just have attacks that hit like a truck and cover half the damn map. On top of that, your units can be afflicted with status effects, of which there are WAY too many to keep track of. I don't even know what half of them do!
The game is also just constantly wasting your time (and not just because I'm spending mine playing a Neptunia game, har har). Even once you cave in and turn off all attack animations and whatnot in the settings menu, it still feels like it's dragging its feet. Stop showing me that enemies aren't taking any actions, it adds up when eight or so of them aren't necessarily doing anything as I slowly approach them. So many of this game's maps revolve around shitty gimmicks, like tediously lifting and tossing wooden boxes to gradually create staircases, or avoiding floor panels that damage you and instantly end your turn, or waiting a turn for a moving platform to come back, just so you can board it and wait another turn to have it take you to your destination, and THEN you can depart it on the turn after that. Maps are reused ad nauseam, so you'll grow accustomed to groaning at the mere sight of certain locales.
The writing just rubs me the wrong way, moreso than usual for a game of this pedigree. Most of Noire's friendships just result in her getting sexually harassed in extra scenes, with the accompanying CGs having the Bad kind of voyeuristic feeling. And then there's the self-insert, with probably one of the worst examples of this trope I've ever experienced. A true self-insert comes with a certain amount of agency from the player, but you don't get any choices here. Secretary-san is effectively his own character, one you're expected to project yourself onto. Sorry Noire, our relationship fell through years ago. I've personally been sizing up Vert quite a bit lately...
The true ending of this game is locked behind Noire having a lily rank of at least 70 with every other unit by the end of the game. This mandates an endgame grind that's a total snog-I mean slogfest. I unironically think this game is on the same level of enjoyment I had with the original HDN on PS3, and that is a very low bar to cross. You are missing nothing by ignoring this, even if you're a Nep freak like me.
I know someone who enjoyed this game because "it's a strategy game, you can't make them bad".
Are you sure about that?
I'd have to say this game's biggest flaw is the fact that it's built like a typical Neptunia RPG. Health and attack values are way larger than necessary, maps and enemy types are constantly reused. The game's big gimmick is lowering the exorbitant SP costs on your skills by keeping other units adjacent to you, represented by a yuri kiss on the cheek. This is counter-intuitive because grouping everyone together makes it absurdly easy for an enemy to stroll over and use an attack that targets your entire cluster of chibis. Sometimes you don't even need to be grouped together, some enemies just have attacks that hit like a truck and cover half the damn map. On top of that, your units can be afflicted with status effects, of which there are WAY too many to keep track of. I don't even know what half of them do!
The game is also just constantly wasting your time (and not just because I'm spending mine playing a Neptunia game, har har). Even once you cave in and turn off all attack animations and whatnot in the settings menu, it still feels like it's dragging its feet. Stop showing me that enemies aren't taking any actions, it adds up when eight or so of them aren't necessarily doing anything as I slowly approach them. So many of this game's maps revolve around shitty gimmicks, like tediously lifting and tossing wooden boxes to gradually create staircases, or avoiding floor panels that damage you and instantly end your turn, or waiting a turn for a moving platform to come back, just so you can board it and wait another turn to have it take you to your destination, and THEN you can depart it on the turn after that. Maps are reused ad nauseam, so you'll grow accustomed to groaning at the mere sight of certain locales.
The writing just rubs me the wrong way, moreso than usual for a game of this pedigree. Most of Noire's friendships just result in her getting sexually harassed in extra scenes, with the accompanying CGs having the Bad kind of voyeuristic feeling. And then there's the self-insert, with probably one of the worst examples of this trope I've ever experienced. A true self-insert comes with a certain amount of agency from the player, but you don't get any choices here. Secretary-san is effectively his own character, one you're expected to project yourself onto. Sorry Noire, our relationship fell through years ago. I've personally been sizing up Vert quite a bit lately...
The true ending of this game is locked behind Noire having a lily rank of at least 70 with every other unit by the end of the game. This mandates an endgame grind that's a total snog-I mean slogfest. I unironically think this game is on the same level of enjoyment I had with the original HDN on PS3, and that is a very low bar to cross. You are missing nothing by ignoring this, even if you're a Nep freak like me.
A Metroidvania Kirby exists?? And no one told me about this?? Well it it's a metroidvania in principle but it doesn't feel like it fully commits to being a fully fledged metroidvania.
At it's very core, this is another mainline Kirby game where you'll be doing the same exact things you do in other mainline Kirby games. You go through levels, you suck and copy enemies, you fight bosses rinse and repeat till you get to the end. What the big twist is here is how the game is structured. Yes it is structured like a metroidvania, but I wouldn't exactly consider it a metroidvania. The word "structure" is doing a lot of heavy lifting here as you are presented with an open world with branching paths, a map system and the ability to unlock more of the map screen by exploring and finding pages in treasure chests. You can also find health upgrades in some of those chests. But that is the extent of metroidvania this game gets as there isn't as much reward in exploring.
You don't unlock new areas of the world by exploring and finding new upgrades or tools to further help you through previously blocked pathways. Everything is already open to you, so in that sense the real core what makes a metroidvania a metroidvania is not here.
It is more fair to compare this to a Mega Man game with an open world. Because in reality the name of the game is to get to a boss in a certain section of the world, kill the boss, and move one step closer to the final boss. What makes it more Mega Man-ie is the fact that you can do these boss fights in any order. This is pretty cool for a Kirby game because I don't think there is another mainline Kirby that has this sort of structure. If you wanna tackle the "hardest" part of the map first, you can go do that. Unfortunately, and again what takes away from this being a true metroidvania, is the fact that there's no benefit to the order you do it in. Killing bosses don't reward with a cool extra move that is only tired to killing that boss. The only reward you get is an extra key (or mirror shard) that brings you one step closer to the final boss. So unlike a Mega Man game (or even Breath of the Wild) where choosing a boss order is a type of strategy, in Kirby and the Amazing Mirror there is no absolutely no strategy.
In a sense, if you are a metroidvania fan and come into this expecting a metroidvania, you will be severely disappointed. However if your expectations are set to "Kirby's Adventure, but non-linear" you will really enjoy this game. This is still a very good Kirby title that wish fully did commit to being a full fledged metroidvania as the potential is there as we've seen in Milky Way Wishes from Kirby Super Star.
I mean this is me just rambling but could you imagine if this game gave you the reward of unlocking permanent copy abilities by exploring and defeating optional bosses around the map? Honestly could have been one of the best Kirby games of all time.
At it's very core, this is another mainline Kirby game where you'll be doing the same exact things you do in other mainline Kirby games. You go through levels, you suck and copy enemies, you fight bosses rinse and repeat till you get to the end. What the big twist is here is how the game is structured. Yes it is structured like a metroidvania, but I wouldn't exactly consider it a metroidvania. The word "structure" is doing a lot of heavy lifting here as you are presented with an open world with branching paths, a map system and the ability to unlock more of the map screen by exploring and finding pages in treasure chests. You can also find health upgrades in some of those chests. But that is the extent of metroidvania this game gets as there isn't as much reward in exploring.
You don't unlock new areas of the world by exploring and finding new upgrades or tools to further help you through previously blocked pathways. Everything is already open to you, so in that sense the real core what makes a metroidvania a metroidvania is not here.
It is more fair to compare this to a Mega Man game with an open world. Because in reality the name of the game is to get to a boss in a certain section of the world, kill the boss, and move one step closer to the final boss. What makes it more Mega Man-ie is the fact that you can do these boss fights in any order. This is pretty cool for a Kirby game because I don't think there is another mainline Kirby that has this sort of structure. If you wanna tackle the "hardest" part of the map first, you can go do that. Unfortunately, and again what takes away from this being a true metroidvania, is the fact that there's no benefit to the order you do it in. Killing bosses don't reward with a cool extra move that is only tired to killing that boss. The only reward you get is an extra key (or mirror shard) that brings you one step closer to the final boss. So unlike a Mega Man game (or even Breath of the Wild) where choosing a boss order is a type of strategy, in Kirby and the Amazing Mirror there is no absolutely no strategy.
In a sense, if you are a metroidvania fan and come into this expecting a metroidvania, you will be severely disappointed. However if your expectations are set to "Kirby's Adventure, but non-linear" you will really enjoy this game. This is still a very good Kirby title that wish fully did commit to being a full fledged metroidvania as the potential is there as we've seen in Milky Way Wishes from Kirby Super Star.
I mean this is me just rambling but could you imagine if this game gave you the reward of unlocking permanent copy abilities by exploring and defeating optional bosses around the map? Honestly could have been one of the best Kirby games of all time.
Super Mario 3D Land
2011
pretty fun game, i don't really have much more to say about it beyond that. i've heard the way it uses the 3d is cool but uhhh 2ds gang lol !!
Super Mario 64 DS
2004
Let's set the record straight. This is better than the OG.
one of the cutest 3d platforming collecthons out there with fun mechanics. maps are not always the best but the enemies and npcs are silly & fun to look at and interact with
Super underrated 3d mascot platformer, any fans of 3d platforming should play