Turns out Polystar's "amazing character art in a mid-ass shovelware shtick" DIDN'T start out with Kendo Rage.

Why are these goobers stuck in the microscopic Qix zone. It ain't even good Qix. All this slowdown everywhere and weird-ass enemy patterns. The environment art in the gameplay sections isn't even great honestly, it has that weird over-shaded and over-saturated look that reminds me of B-tier Genesis flicks.

This should've been a golf game. The king loves golf. I love golf.