this game is awful but don't think for one second that i don't love it. Virtual Hydlide is one of the very first 3D RPGs and it definitely feels like it, everything about the game is rudimentary and ambitious. none of it really works out, from its randomly generated worlds to its stiff combat and its sub-10 framerate, but a lot of it is seriously way ahead of its time. it's not just one of the first 3D RPGs, but one of the first open-world 3D RPGs with random generation and the ability to save anywhere. i do earnestly love its stinky, chunky FMV-aesthetic (the player character just makes me smile) and its corny fantasy score. this game is objectively terrible in basically every way possible, it has some seriously frustrating bullshit in it, but i can't help but admire it. it's so cute!!!!!

separates the True Kusoheads from the rest: those Normal Gamer's and the Demon's Darks they just love to roll around in. virtual hydlide is t&e soft's masterpiece (relative), for all that entails. it's like playing golf but with swords, and without any golf balls. not quite like a golf video game (don't worry t&e soft has you covered there too!!), but like actual golf, midsummer in humid, 40 celsius, salty air as the sun sears off your topmost layer of skin. it kind of hurts! it's kind of an unwelcoming, unpleasant experience that makes you wish, at times, that you were being lobotomized instead. but to think that way is reckless. Don't Mistake Recklessness for Courage.