Blackgate Prison
A space for the worst games imaginable. Like actual crimes against humanity. Highly strict on what gets in here. No asset flips, no youtuber bait and no 99 cent Steam trash. Actual efforts that resulted in the worst experience possible.
10 Games
2K23 is going to be the scape goat of the 2K series. What I mean is, I hate the entire series but this one is getting the whip. Slow, buggy, boring, uninteresting looking. There is nothing good about this series. I could say the creation suite is very robust and let's you make pretty much what ever you want, but what would you do with it? You make your roster, belts, arenas and shows and then what? You play one of the worst feeling ongoing games on the market. Yukes leaving this series was it's deathknell because rather or not you like Yukes, their games have never felt this bad. These are some of the worst wrestling games ever made.
I am a Bethesda enjoyer. I liked Fallout 3, the Elder Scrolls IV and V and Fallout NV are some of my favorite games. FO4 is trash. Feels nothing like what you want from a RPG. Way to streamlined feels like a FPS with RPG mechanics and not a very good one. The story is a whole nother can of worms. You have no connection with your spouse or child and yet the game really wants you to care about your kid and the guy who killed your spouse and stole said kid. I didn't finish the game never will. I was somewhat excited for Starfield but not after this. And that is apparently worst. Elder Scrolls VI is going to be a war crime.
"Some people wish to employ me some people to destroy me, either way they die." This is what I imagine was running through the heads of the developers as they made this game because this was made by sadist for masochist. Everything about this game feels like it is trying to kill you but not in a fun way. Just an incredibly frustrating game with no upside. Actually that's a lie. There was a pretty cool Billy Idol concert. That guy is my spirit animal.
This game was so bad that it got me back into Pokémon. I dropped the series in highschool because I didn't like Diamond and thought I was just getting too old for the series. Fast forward about 7 years and I finally get me a 3DS and a copy of Y. I had played Fire Red, Ruby, and Black for the first time about 3 years before. I liked those so I decided for old times sake to buy the new Pokemon game. I. Hate. The crew. All of them. Every time they show up it feels like time stops and I'm stuck in the void suspended in space. The starters suck, except Greninja. Game Freak knows this that's why they just go "Just take a Gen1 starter we're sorry". The Gym leaders are cool but the team and the lead guy are ass. The giant man was nice though. Playing this game opened my third eye. I transcended my mortal form and entered the astral plane and discovered the great truth: I didn't grow out of Pokémon, Diamond is just bad. Thanks Y.
What an insult. XD Gale of Darkness is legitimately a better game than this turd. And I don't say that because of how it looks or how it runs. I have never known a Pokémon game to run good. The locals are all hallways, there are no dungeons, the open world section is bafflingly separated from the rest of the game. The story is nothing. When there is the threat of something you are shooed away, forced onward away from the fun. This is the first mainline Pokemon game on consoles. Gale of Darkness is a truncated version of a pokemon game, clearly just a somewhat low effort mode in a Pokemon Stadium game. That feels like a proper console Pokemon. XDGOD even has a kind of annoying way to catch pokemon. Still better. Pokemon gets much better after this but man. This was some dark days.
Oh The Third. You miserable pile of excrement. Never have I felt so cheated by a game then discovering that the "bad ending" rewards you with MORE GAME. The "good ending" gets you a really stupid and unfunny section where you play level that's supposed to be a movie. It sucks. I watched the other stuff. You fight the Shield Heli carrier. But only if let one of the best characters in the game die. And tonally it fits more than the "good ending". Speaking of best characters Johnny Gat, the heart and soul of Saints Row, dies frame one. No third act return neither. Just gone. But Shaundi dies metaphorically and that's worst. She is not the same character from 2 and that sucks. She's still good but completely different. She's a skin walker but only you know she's not real and she taunts you. IV and Gat goes to Hell are much better. Also and this more of a petty thing. Angel the luchador is played by Hulk Hogan and I don't know why. Burt Reynolds plays himself so does Keith David in IV. So I thought he would be Hulk Hogan but by a different name at least. But Hogan plays Angel completely straight. Bizarre.
In the comics Batman's strategy for dealing with goons is described as quiet approach, loud entry. Meaning you sneak up on a group of unsuspecting goons all ninja like than you attack in an explosive way to disorientate and take them all out in one go. Knight is so far the only Batman game that lets you do that. It also does that to you. You press start and everything's cool everything's chill. Just playing a Batman game then BAM Batmobile mission BAM terrible characterizations BAM Runs terribly and hitches constantly. I have a very inconsistent tolerance level for bad. Sometimes a game can be the lowest tier of trash and I'm chill. But a game could actually be pretty great but one thing angers me so much it brings the whole thing down. Knight is one of the latter. Mechanically it's solid and the most fully realized it can be. But Batsy handles like truck, his animations are very stiff and the mission structure is atrocious. All of that would be fine if the story was good because Asylum and City are great. They feel like episodes of the Animated series. And would you know it Paul Dini wrote for those game. He didn't write for this one. And you can tell. I hate pretty much everyone here but the one that really gets me is Harley. In the comics at this time Harley had been separated from the Joker for a few years. and rather or not you like modern Harley getting her away from the Joker and pairing her with Ivy is a good idea. So having her in a constant emotional breakdown over the Joker dying and not interacting with Ivy at all is the dumbest thing they could have done. The only dumber thing they could do is de age Ivy so the relationship can't happen and have her execute Batman in cold blood over the Joker's death in what would be Rob Conroy's final role as the Caped Crusader. That would be a really bad idea.
