Bio
Yo!
I play a lot of games, mostly indies and weirder titles.

Maniac Perk Deck IRL.

Ballpoint Splatling main day 1, even in splat 3 when ink jet was considered bad.

Unironic YIIK fan.

I like talking about games that I find interesting, especially if they're bad.
Personal Ratings
1★
5★

Badges


N00b

Played 100+ games

Favorite Games

YIIK: A Postmodern RPG
YIIK: A Postmodern RPG
Splatoon 3
Splatoon 3
Guitar Hero II
Guitar Hero II
Patapon 3
Patapon 3
Nuclear Throne
Nuclear Throne

103

Total Games Played

004

Played in 2024

197

Games Backloggd


Recently Played See More

Tomodachi Life
Tomodachi Life

Jan 12

Splatoon 3
Splatoon 3

Jan 12

Sunshine Shuffle
Sunshine Shuffle

Jan 07

Froggy's Battle
Froggy's Battle

Jan 07

Broken Reality
Broken Reality

Mar 10

Recently Reviewed See More

While charming, this game falls flat on its execution. This Texas-hold em' visual novel should have been up my alley with my love for story telling and an itch for reckless gambling, but fails to present either in a cohesive or interesting way.

The poker mechanics are very basic, it's classic two hand. There's not much going on with no tells from the characters or much challenge from their AI. Once it comes to a one on one showdown, spamming the raise button is the easiest and surefire way to win the tournament. Pacing is an issue with how fast the game goes through all of the poker screens. There's no tension on the flops or hand reveals, it's all instantly shown with little fan fare outside of the win tune or one of the characters giving their two cents about the win. It's not very interesting beyond that, and yet it takes up a lot more of the game play than I think it should.

The VN aspect of this game is straightforward. While you're gambling on winning with a pair of 2s, the creatures on the Sunshine are telling you their story about their life of crime. However, it's difficult focusing on both the dialogue and the game of 2 hand going on at the same time. The dialogue is told to you from a speech bubble that you constantly have to click to advance, taking your attention away from the poker game around it. Clicking also advances the "flop" screen which conflicts with advancing the dialogue, which fucks with the already quick pace of the poker game. An auto dialogue advance would have helped a lot with these issues. Story dialogue also just takes a bit too long to happen sometimes too, with long stretches of nothing going on, then suddenly someone at the table mentions some crazy shit out of left field. I think the poker quips sometimes break the story sequences too. There were moments where they were talking about their gang shit and suddenly the captain is like "Ooh!!! Nice call" and the room goes silent.

I've read other reviews mentioning voice actors would have improved this a lot. While I agree, I feel that a much higher focus on making this more of a VN would help a lot more. Something like having the dialogue advancing between every poker action and pausing on bigger poker events (the flop, all-in's, final hand reveals.) The poker game itself could pause on major story reveals to emphasize the shit that's going down. This is outside of the scope of the review though, if you want something like this go play Pbouxhkiir Night on the Primox Alpha.

The only reason to play this is probably the story. I won't go to into it since I honestly missed out on some important story beats from the fragile dialogue system. It's good enough to keep my attention, but the tone of the story and the tone of the rest of the game DON'T MATCH AT ALL. They're talking about how they killed people and the music is wayyy too upbeat about it. The character designs do not represent how roughed up they should be from the shit they used to do. The whale outside of the boat is so blissfully unaware of the horrors these creatures have seen. I'm not asking for a gritty dark artstyle, but maybe it should at least show that the guys you're playing with have been through a lot. But hey, you can have an arcade cabinet of space warlord organ trading simulator on the ship, so that's nice.

I got in on this game when season of arrivals dropped. Even with my limited scope of the many previous seasons and expansions I missed, I feel confident in saying that this sucks.

Everything is too much of a grind that takes way too long. Raids are cool, but getting 5 other people that are both at raid level and skillful enough to execute the obnoxious tasks a raid throws at you sucks. Deleting half of the quality content in the game to replace with new stuff to slog through was immensely disappointing. After playing 5 missions and the PvP, you've basically experienced the core loop of this grindy slopfest. Nothing really changes outside of raids. This game's lifespan should have wrapped up years ago since they couldn't make any new interesting things to do. I don't give a single fuck about the story when all of the gameplay is the same "go here and shoot things" since 2017.

Fuck this game for wasting 472 hours of my life, and the many more it sucked out of my friends. Don't play this, and encourage anyone you see playing it to quit and clean their room instead.

Xenophage is the only reason this is not a half star. That gun is so fucking cool. It's sad to see it in such a shit game.

If this game looks even remotely interesting to you, please PLEASE play it. The twists this grame takes is something that has to be seen to be believed.