You ever experience something that, after enough time, feels like it contains a part of you? That you would not be who you are now, at this very moment, without this thing? Whether it be a game, book, movie, anime, comic, whatever, I know I'm not alone in this feeling. Of all the hundreds of games I’ve played, I can’t even count how many I’ve once had in my top 10, or 5, or even 3, only to swap them out, shift em around, or in some cases, fall entirely out of love with them. My opinions and tastes change, I grow up, I get more and more in touch with what really speaks to me in media little by little, so it’s only natural that shit like this would change for me. And seeing as I’ve been going through the most formative years of my life throughout the latter part of this past decade, it’d only follow that I’d have had plenty of games hold that number one spot throughout the years, right? Well, that surprisingly isn’t the case because for the better part of six years now, UNDERTALE has been my favorite piece of media. But why is that? Why has this game had such a firm grip on me since late 2015? How could such a simple, small, fucking EARTHBOUND CLONE reshape the way I perceive games as a consumer? Why did I reevaluate the way I treated the people around me? How did UNDERTALE kinda change my life? Well, that’s what I’d like to try and find out here.

I was just 12 when this game dropped. I happened to come upon JackSepticEye posting the first video of his playthrough back in October of 2015, watched around 5 minutes of it, thought it looked ugly and boring, and decided it wouldn’t be a game I’d enjoy. And it’s honestly kinda horrifying to think just how different of a person I could’ve turned out if I just went on like that, never giving it a second thought. It wasn’t till two months later in December when he (I used to watch a lot of JackSepticEye back in the day lol) uploaded a video titled “BECOMING A MONSTER | Undertale Genocide #1” that I got kind of interested. You see, I was pretty obsessed with choice-based games back then, shit like Telltale’s The Walking Dead and Infamous were my bread and butter. I couldn’t tell how shallow the actual choice-making in those games was, of course, I just thought it was the coolest shit ever that you could choose to be a good or bad guy in games (no slander to Infamous doe, those games rock). Now, seeing that I’d probably get more out of doing the “good guy” route first, I decided to pirate the game (a decision I would soon regret) and play through it.

Aside from my weird distaste for the game’s graphics at the time (which I have heavily, heavily switched up on by now), it’s pretty crazy just how quickly this game stole my heart. I beat it in one weekend and could do nothing but think about it for every minute of every day, for MONTHS on end. I became fandom trash (do people still use that term) for this game so embarrassingly fast, but that’s a story for another time. To keep it simple, I was completely entranced by this game’s world, the music that filled it with life, and the characters that inhabited it. But just what about those aspects of the game clicked with me so well? Let’s see if we can find out.

I’m gonna start by saying possibly the most nuclear, unheard of take you can imagine regarding this game:
The music is good. Like, really, really good. The game still has my favorite soundtrack of all time. With so many phenomenal boss tracks that represent the energy and personality of the characters so well. Whether it’s the heart-pounding emotional turmoil caused by Toriel’s Heartache, or Bergentrückung being the soft, somber intro to ASGORE that perfectly embodies the moral dilemma both he and the player are faced with, and how heart-wrenching that is, OR HOW MEGALOVANIA IS THE MOST BOMBASTIC, CHAOTIC SOUNDING BANGER IN EXISTENCE. Every boss theme is perfect in what it sets out to do. However, one thing that I don’t see talked about enough in regards to UNDERTALE’S soundtrack is just how good the music is at fitting the tone and atmosphere of ANY scene or location. Like the aforementioned boss themes, every overworld track sounds different, and feels like a breath of fresh air from the last. My favorite of these (not counting the main theme of Undertale itself because I could write a full-length review about that song in itself) is Waterfall’s theme, of course. It starts out so soft and understated, with a magical aura to it that almost makes it sound like the glowing rocks on the ceiling of the underground are playing along to the music, but then it erupts into this grand symphony that shoulders all the pain and tragedy the monsters have had to endure in their time underground. UNDERTALE’S soundtrack is powerful in this, with each track telling a story that relates to either that area exclusively or adds to the emotional depth and engagement with the overarching plot on the whole.

So it’s got a pretty cool soundtrack, but what’s the point in pretty music without a world to give life to with it? Thankfully, UNDERTALE delivers in that regard as well.

The world of UNDERTALE is one shrouded in a thick coat of darkness without ever really feeling that way. This is a place with people who have had their lives on the surface, with fresh air and wide open spaces, stolen from them by a population of people that didn’t have the capacity or patience to understand, appreciate, or empathize with them. And yet, the monsters that now reign underground still manage to scrape by and find some modicum of happiness, some semblance of hope to latch onto. It isn’t much to speak of, and most might even consider it miserable, but, before even getting to the main meat of the story or characters, just thinking about this small community down in the underground, these people that have been beaten down and broken by forces stronger and crueler than them, and seeing that they still haven’t given up hope? That they still remain an interconnected, tightly-knit family of people in spite of all they’ve collectively been through? Not only does it perfectly line up with the game’s themes regarding hope, perseverance, and determination, but god damn, it’s exactly what kept me coming back again and again to this place, to this world. On paper, it sure as hell is not a world I’d ever want to live in, but that light in the darkness feel that I just described makes me almost wish that I did.

And then you pair that world up with a story that tackles those very ideas head on, wrapped in a consistent spark of empathy, tenderness, and love? Then you’ve got a recipe for your old pal Ofy (that’s me) to cry his eyes out. And it’s those very characters, both major and minor, that would give the game its meaning, and become the defining feature of it for me.

UNDERTALE has a varied, diverse, and extremely colorful cast of lovable characters who’re equally charming as they are compelling. Whether it was Toriel and her overprotective, but well-meaning motherly nature caused by the heartache she endured long ago, Alphys’s heartwarming, but misguided attempts to get closer to you, fueled by a deep-seated desire to feel worthwhile after living with perpetual self-hatred as a result of the terrible mistakes she made in the past, or even Mettaton’s comically homicidal tendencies spurred on by a genuine love for entertainment and need to be seen, the list goes on but you get my point. These characters were gripping, they were funny, scary, witty, awkward, sympathetic and all things in-between. They all had clear goals, aspirations, wants, and the game communicated all of that so effortlessly in the short time you spend with them. And really thinking on it now, it’s kinda mind-blowing just how long you actually interact with these characters. With an average pacifist route netting you, on average, around five to six hours, it’s incredibly impressive just how much you get out of these characters. You learn what food they like, what shows they watch, what they aspire to be, what they fear, their hobbies, all of these and more in such a measly but meaningful amount of time. As short-lived or trope-y as some of them may feel, they’ve always felt more real to me than most video game casts. And by the end of the game’s main route, I felt like I genuinely did meet and connect with a group of peers, cherished friends, and a new, beloved family. Walking through the underground during this sort of “last hurrah” moment, it feels like *I did all this, that I* genuinely accomplished something with these people. I managed to, through warm, tender pacifism, deliver unto them a real kindness. I was able to become the light that the monsters needed to escape what seemed like their final resting place, and gave them the right to fresh air and sunlight that they had been yearning for ages for.

All of this combined for one of the most satisfying and emotionally fulfilling final bosses I’ve ever experienced in a game. I don’t want to get too heavy into spoilers, but there’s a certain moment towards the end of it and just before that previously mentioned last hurrah walk that so brilliantly embodies the themes of this game and I still absolutely fucking bawl my eyes out going through that segment. It ended up being a tragic, but triumphant story about hatred, compassion, and redemption that still has not been topped for me. And all of this makes for an ending that feels earned, that made me close the game with the biggest, fattest smile on my face, awkwardly pumping my fist in the air and going, “That’s how it’s done.”

And since then, I’ve looked at video games in such a different light. They became so much more than mere passing entertainment, or a fun but most likely fleeting hobby that I would eventually grow out of. UNDERTALE awakened a passion for the medium that I did not have before, where I could finally see it for the art form that it was. I could finally begin to appreciate the sheer technical and artistic prowess on display with the games I had already loved in the past, and now I could look forward to playing new games with that same degree of awe and passion when everything clicks for me.

This game is just so much larger than life for me. In a way, you could say that I “woke up” after I played this game, as overdramatic as that sounds. This game helped me discover a part of myself I didn’t know that I had, it inspired me to try every day to be a better person, and to cherish my connections with those I was close with. UNDERTALE helped me understand that even when I fall, that it isn’t the end. I can always pick myself up, I always have people to fall back on that care about and love me for being who I am. That is a message that, almost seven years later, I still think about and value so much. So say what you will about how this game ruined indie RPG discussion or how it has annoying fans or whatever else you’d like, but I will be forever grateful that I got to exist in the same era that such an important, powerful game could, and I eagerly await to see just what Toby Fox does with Deltarune, because that game’s gearing up to be right up there with its older sibling.