Ok class I'm going to need you guys to open your laptops to Schoology.
WE'RE STUCK ON A DIFFERENT PLANET A LOT MORE THAN WE CAN M- (Slams laptop closed)
Get the fuck out of my class.
That's why you've been late?
Yep.
Get out of my class.
Ok.
Get out of my class.
I understand.
Contact the principle to take your laptop and you will be in school detention for 3 weeks.
Get out of my class.

Thanks Nintendo for implementing two separate auto lock features that you can't disable. Very smart and educated
addition to your already boring game that abandoned all charm in favor of shameless marketability and toy creation.

I understand that Pikmin is a quirky game with unique characters, but half of the game is useless tutorial / reminders and the other half is constant banter between the new, unforgettable cast that isn’t even entertaining in the slightest. I wasn’t the biggest fan of the Koppaites from Pikmin 3 for this exact reason, but atleast they knew when to shut the fuck up and let the game do the talking. Beyond that, I had such high hopes for the night levels. I love tower defense games! Granted I haven’t played a lot of them, but from the ones I have played, I loved the concept! This is the most barebones, mundane shit fest that anyone could have asked for. I dreaded doing these expeditions because they were so lacking in difficulty and depth. Thankfully, the challenge caves or whatever they were called, the things akin to the mission mode in Pikmin 3, those were fun and probably the only good part of this laughable game. I loved micro managing and stressing myself out to the point of my veins bursting while making sure every single Pikmin was doing what it was supposed to be doing without wasting a second. The bingo battle look-alike Dandori was also fun to play, though my mom pointed out how the lock on system was archaic and strange. After a few rounds, she asked if we could go back to playing Pikmin 3’s bingo battle instead. Usually she doesn’t discriminate against game complexity or design, I just found this to be telling. It also doesn’t help that you can only choose 3 types of Pikmin to be out with you at any given time, and while it arguably makes the game less “grindy”, it’s because the game is designed around this mundane decision making each level require 3 different types of Pikmin at any given time (not including caves). Speaking of the Pikmin themselves, I don’t know how I feel about progressively gaining the ability to access a bigger number of Pikmin.

On the topic of charm, or rather the lack thereof, the almost corporate UI that they added to this entry has lost any and all resemblance of the unique bubble-like aesthetic that the previous games were known to have. I know it sounds like an extreme nitpick that losers would have, and it is, but from someone who has loved Pikmin for years and has awaited the 4th entry for a long time, it’s very sad to see them go down the route of uninspired graphic design. Beyond that, the levels levels are uninspired for the most part. I get that it’s a flawed argument because Pikmin has always tried to have a realistic art style, but since the first two games were on the GameCube they weren’t able to reach that sense of reality and unintentionally developed a unique graphic style that feels very lonely and… i hate using this word… liminal.. and thanks to that a lot of the assets and places in those first two games feel much more enigmatic and inspired rather than the realistic jargon they finally achieved, but that beach is just a fucking beach. That forest is just a forest. I can’t even remember the names of these locations. Another big factor is that Pikmin, for me atleast, is supposed to be set on a post nuclear war, apocalyptic earth where you never know what you’re going to see next. Of course I highly doubt that’s ever been the intention, but it’s been my interpretation and without that facade the game loses a lot of what made the series special to me.

Something I’ve noticed while journaling my thoughts about this game is that this is Nintendo’s attempt at making Pikmin much more widely accessible, even though it already was with Pikmin 3. Writing this also made me remember why I hate modern gaming. We’re achieving accessibility, but at what cost? Make some of this shit optional. Now that I’ve deconstructed my thoughts regarding my favorite children’s game, I’m going to play some real shit such as Call of Duty or Fortnite.