As a normal dad doing normal dad things, my dadly duties include cleaning the kitchen, spending quality time with my son, and stepping on the many giant dog-sized spiders that infest my daughter's bedroom as they try to attack her as she sleeps.

Before you ask "why don't you get rid of the giant spiders in your kid's bedroom", I have a fantastic excuse - I was busy renovating the basement so that it would have laser grids that would instantly kill me.