The GBA has some bangers on it, but it probably has my least favorite aesthetic of any console. It somehow has a library that ages worse than anything else due to how many ports are on it that ruin the graphics with sprites that look like they got thrown in the washer, and music that's high on helium and trying to talk to you through a bathroom door.

I came into Darius R expecting something similar to those crappy ports, and I was half-right. It turns out the "R" in the title stands for Remix and not Rubbish, and I guess only the first stage from the arcade game was put in here. Not that it matters, because these stages were about as "that's nice I guess" as they come. I actually wouldn't be offended by it if it weren't for the odd bout of screen crunch and the camera being zoomed in like Sonic 2 GG. Which is just dandy because I love feeling like I have constant blind spots with enemies plotting to fire at me from off-screen. Like they had the effort to rearrange things, but not enough to actually redraw the sprites or anything. Fantastic. This would be like if you walked up to one of the three-screen cabinets and squished your face into the monitor like a blind molerat.

Some of the remixes are okay, and some of them sound like crap. Pretty standard considering my stance on GBA music normally. Hi Fantasy Zone music, what are you doing here? WEE WOO WEE WOO we comin' for you Darius R composer.

Actually disappointed that it wasn't worse like that trash version of R-Type III that sounded like an Atari game. Maybe if the ship was constantly yelling "WOOHOO! JUST WHAT I NEEDED!" every time I grabbed a power up I'd detest it more.

Could've been worse.