This is the second Famicom game I've played named "Mystery of Blank" that really wanted video games to die in 1986.
The jumping in this game is the most homophobic shit I've experienced since Ice Climber, when I first pressed the jump button and flew myself directly into falling bat shit I could only sit there in amazement as I cursed to myself. When you jump the game demands you go in a wide floaty arc, every time. Air control barely exists, if you decide to long jump you can only hope to god that nothing flies into your way, otherwise that's a lost life. Even when trying to drop from a ledge? Tiny arc that makes it a nail-biter every time you come centimeters close to a pit, you seriously need to give the slightest tap to the d-pad to not accidentally plunge to your death. Seven lives feels generous, but it really isn't. The entire thing feels like a shitpost from people who say every NES game is unplayable garbage. It's abominable.
Combat is a joke, your weapon is basically similar to the torch from Ghosts n' Goblins except somehow more useless in practice. You use explosives which take a few seconds to go off, you can only have one on screen at a time, and when the game already didn't feel spiteful enough they can also kill you by accident. These explosives also uncover hidden doors in certain areas of the stages, and that's probably when it dawns on you that in addition to being a sadistic action-platformer, this thing is also a galaxy-brain demanding mystery akin to Milon's Secret Castle. So-called "solutions" to these "puzzles" include falling down a random pit that looks like every other pit that would normally kill you. It's stupefying, I really do wish people who decry Simon's Quest would try something like this without a guide.
The worst and most punishing thing in the game is a door that leads you to a "black hole" room where you constantly fall to your death until you game over. Kaizo Mario invisible blocks have got nothin' on that shit. The only thing worse that I can think of is the "ha ha" room in Dirty Harry that just traps you until you reset.
Comedy gold for everyone from the boys at Sunsoft, shame it wasn't brought over here as "Super Pitfall II" as originally intended, would've doubled the length of the AVGN's episode on the first game.
The jumping in this game is the most homophobic shit I've experienced since Ice Climber, when I first pressed the jump button and flew myself directly into falling bat shit I could only sit there in amazement as I cursed to myself. When you jump the game demands you go in a wide floaty arc, every time. Air control barely exists, if you decide to long jump you can only hope to god that nothing flies into your way, otherwise that's a lost life. Even when trying to drop from a ledge? Tiny arc that makes it a nail-biter every time you come centimeters close to a pit, you seriously need to give the slightest tap to the d-pad to not accidentally plunge to your death. Seven lives feels generous, but it really isn't. The entire thing feels like a shitpost from people who say every NES game is unplayable garbage. It's abominable.
Combat is a joke, your weapon is basically similar to the torch from Ghosts n' Goblins except somehow more useless in practice. You use explosives which take a few seconds to go off, you can only have one on screen at a time, and when the game already didn't feel spiteful enough they can also kill you by accident. These explosives also uncover hidden doors in certain areas of the stages, and that's probably when it dawns on you that in addition to being a sadistic action-platformer, this thing is also a galaxy-brain demanding mystery akin to Milon's Secret Castle. So-called "solutions" to these "puzzles" include falling down a random pit that looks like every other pit that would normally kill you. It's stupefying, I really do wish people who decry Simon's Quest would try something like this without a guide.
The worst and most punishing thing in the game is a door that leads you to a "black hole" room where you constantly fall to your death until you game over. Kaizo Mario invisible blocks have got nothin' on that shit. The only thing worse that I can think of is the "ha ha" room in Dirty Harry that just traps you until you reset.
Comedy gold for everyone from the boys at Sunsoft, shame it wasn't brought over here as "Super Pitfall II" as originally intended, would've doubled the length of the AVGN's episode on the first game.
5 Comments
When I tried to beat this game one time. I found that black hole room without knowing it existed and haven't played the game since.
It seriously astounds me just how mean-spirited some of these games get, lol. I'm just thankful I read up on it instead of experiencing it, geez.
Veeeeeeeeee if you these jumps feel homophobic (hope you get well soon 🙏) you gotta play Amagon for the NES.
I've played Amagon last year I believe, I think I described the jumping as like a pong paddle on one button or something. It was strange, but I think I take that over this.
UnluckyLucky
1 year ago