AN ELEVATED MEET N FUCK

"but a machine of pure metal is a luxury."

"most often reserved for facades; to insulate the squeamish from uncomfortable realities."


As I am writing this, I am having a very stressful day. So let's destress by chatting about EROSTASIS for a little while.

It’s exactly what it says on the tin, AN ELEVATED MEET N FUCK. So you must be wondering, what is an elevated meet n fuck? What does such elevated meet n fuck entail?

You already know that I cannot answer this without indulging in the opportunity to talk about the Meet n Fuck games. You know, those point n click erotic dating sims that infested Newgrounds back in the mid 2000s? Those games that were completely jury rigged with stolen hentai art, and random assets found on the internet (like the moans from porn videos in 144p). Anyways, there are two things worth noting from these games. One, is obviously the poorly written dialogue that always has a typo, and two, the foreplay. The foreplay is the “challenge”, it is the wall in your way to getting your dick wet. How can it be done, boys? Well, it’s simple. You rub her left thigh first, DON’T DO THE RIGHT, FIRST! That’s a rookie mistake. It's the left thigh, then the right thigh. Then the hips- LEFT SIDE OF HIP FIRST- THEN RIGHT. Never touch the arms, always touch the cunt last, folks. This is the order, this is Meet n Fuck Lady’s way, and you will follow her way. You will serve the Meet n Fuck Lady! You think she’s servicing you? Bitch, if she doesn’t like your vibes, you ain’t getting in! You are constantly comforting her needs, at all times! You think you’re swooning her with the stupid shit you say? No, she loves desperate clowns that humiliate themselves to get her to smile. She responds to your bullshit with incomprehensible shit because she's not really listening to you, she's just thinking about eating you in one bite. Why’d ya think when ya cum, the game fades to black with a “The End” title card? Because she just ripped your head off like a prey mantis. You died, to sustain her desire, and you will be born again to service her at a later time.

Some people reading this is going to have the audacity to think “that isn’t Meet n Fuck at all.”. What are you going to do? Play them to prove me wrong? No, go ahead, go serve the Meet n Fuck Lady then come back, so I as well can put you in your place. I will choke you out like a rattlesnake, you fucking freak.

Ready to talk about EROSTASIS?

Actually, I know what’s best for you. No, I don’t think you are ready to talk about EROSTASIS. Let me just get this out of the way. This play is grotesque, with some vile, intense, and hysterical imagery of all sorts of perversions. Along with tone piercing sonic sounds that fit just beautifully with it. But obviously, this is not for everyone and I will talk more in depth about it (because that’s more fun for me.). If it does not sound like your thing then move on or keep reading so I save you the trouble. IF this does interest you. Then you will stop reading right now and play it. You will come back after playing it.

OBSERVE, PERCEIVE, AND CONTEMPLATE.

Erostasis begins by double tapping the BEGIN CYCLE. button, then your ears are immediately sonically challenged with this sickening high squeal of frequencies. Black waves swarm the screen, bordered by abyssal metal. The second button you double tap is SURVIVE..

You are then punched into consciousness! First thing you see is an open chest cavity with its beating heart, with all sorts of scrap metal and tubes lingering beside it. BWONG, BWONG, BWONG, BING!

“DO NOT
ATTEMPT
TO SPEAK.

IN FACT,
DO NOT ATTEMPT
ANYTHING
AT
ALL.

YOUR ROLE IS
TO OBSERVE. o”

Third button you double tap is OBSERVE..

At this point, you understand what you’re doing here. You’ve done a great job following instructions. You clicked three buttons already!

This entity that’s speaking to you is in full control of your body. You are only really blessed with the perception of it all. As it says best.

“YOU WILL WATCH
AS YOU
SERVICE
THE SHIP. o”

So it’s pretty obvious here. You aren’t a person, you aren’t Paul The Private Detective that’s trying to fuck every woman he sees to find a birthmark on their ass, nor are you some guy fucking your friend at a BDSM club. There are no Charlies or Veronicas here. Just organs, as the ship is nothing but a body of organs, and you are just one of them. So like any organ, it’s got a function that needs to be done for survival. What is your function? It’s simple, because it already told you. Your function is to service. You must cater to the other organs’ “exotic demands.”. You observe, perceive, and contemplate. What does that entail though? Where do I even start?

There’s seven accessible areas on this ship. The play begins in fabrication, duh. Then you must go through five other areas before entering the COMPUTER CORE! Starting at the top is HAEMOPONICS.

HAEMOPONICS

“the human body is a remarkable machine.

self-constructing, self repairing, highly adaptable.


it is by far the most economical form of automation"

I don’t have anything really smart to say about this quote. It’s self explanatory, really. The fuck machine ship is just spitting. Anyways, you’re going to approach this fleshy motherly figure. It’s the heart. What does the heart need? The heart wants maternal intimacy, you are going to embrace the heart and feed from it. Blood is a fuel of life, so is breast milk.(duh) The maternal relationship between mother and the baby in her womb explains the ‘self-constructing’ part of the beginning quote. A baby is constructed inside a human’s body, they share the same blood. She never gets to hold her damn kids. You really are doing this bitch a service.

VENTILATION

“I didn't dare go far
Saving oxygen
For Modern Business Hymns
Before the Warp Guard”

The lungs are dicks. Just because we don’t like to think/be self aware of our breathing, that means the lungs feel we’re entitled. Honestly, everything that happens here is just what it feels like to be sick. The times where your lungs are weak but forces you on your knees, begging for air.

“a desire for power is always a fantasy for the weak.”

Let’s just hope we won’t be needing portable oxygen tanks in our lifetime. Don’t forget to breathe.

NAVIGATION

“The pain, the pain
The pain, the pain
Relief, again, the pain
The pain, the pain
The pain, the pain
The pain, the pain”

The nerves are here and they need something beyond pleasure. Make them base, human, and animal, for a moment. Make them feel pain.

DOUBLE CLICK FUCK.

We made it boys, the service top representation that we’ve been demanding!!!! This is the real meet n fuck experience, right here. You click the word fuck, you click the word hurt, then you hear the aaahs and oooooofs. Then you leave! It’s over in that section! Like a real meet n fuck!

“30 seconds left
In a golden light”

BIOREMEDIATION

I got canceled after jerking off during Sir James Corden’s show, and now I work in the piss and shit factory. I sit in shit and piss and theres fucking ghosts in the waste and want my body. Anyways I’m trying to destroy them. This isn’t even just relief, I’m out right destroying these fuckers with my body. I guess that can count as relief, you’re letting these ghosts, waste spirits(?), move on instead of sitting in shit. Anyways, they get overwhelmed by being in my body and implode. Bioremediation. Worst part of this play? It does nothing for me. I don’t even have an edgy theory for this. Maybe it’s about people who watch porn but don’t even jerk off, they love the audio for it and they just death grip their dick the entire time, eventually cumming, maybe.

WEAPONS

This is the best part of the fucking play, right here. It does EVERYTHING FOR ME. Weapons on this ship are basically obsolete, they never use them! It makes these fuckers desperate! So what do we gotta do? Well, we gotta remind them that these weapons are nothing without us. So what I’m about to describe here, is possibly the most hysterical thing about this play. I sure hope that if you made it this far reading this, that I hope you played it so you know what I mean here. To people who haven’t. This is YOUR SECOND CHANCE! If you continue reading you are about to be robbed of an experience that’s seeing this shit with your own eyes. Okay so immediately you see a woman getting her gaping asshole filled with a TORPEDO, and of course it's making her belly stretch and inflate. These weapons are literally begging you to fill them, bro. They are so empty! What are you gonna do? Not fill them? Let them die? Of course not! Let’s load a round!

“I’ll kill and explode and explode until everything’s broken and i can suck it all in to fill me.”

Cool, I’m convinced.

LOAD TORPEDO

Bitch get loaded, it’s pleased but it wants to be fired. But it needs our permission. Are we? Gross, no fucking way.

DENY.

“you’re so cruel, my tormentor. thank you.”

There’s a world where Suda was making shit like this if he wasn’t so held back and repressed all the time.

COMPUTER CORE

Alright, relief has been given to every organ on the ship. Well, until we learn that this AI has something that needs to be fulfilled as well. Although this AI and its ship is purely amoral, there’s a simmering thirst of sadism that needs to be quenched. Luckily we’re an organ that’s very adaptable to the kinks of other organs in this post reproduction world, meaning we’re absolutely perfect for the job. It’s going to make us discharge, obliterating us completely. We’ve reached erotic apoptosis, folks. That’s right, it’s a cellular system that happens everyday, billions of times, and will happen again. Do you need relief? You got something that needs to be sedated?

Begin Cycle.