if you can get past the pathological misogyny and the basically reactionary premise then there is a pretty good beat-em-up game here that really interestingly fits into the auteurship of rockstar games' overall oeuvre. an adaptation of one of the quintessential gang films provides perfect fodder for rockstar to explore their morbid fascination with crime and violence, but even beyond this they manage to fit in so many staples which especially cropped up in their games from this generation, like the inexplicable dancing minigame. also, it was interesting to see the origin of read dead redemption 2's hat-wearing mechanic originate here, with you being able to pick up and wear the various hats worn by rival gang members, after you bash it off of their heads of course.

the gangs you beat your way through are colorful and larger-than-life, and really appeals to some part of the brain that appreciates extreme tribal-like delineations. most of this is just a holdover from the great gang designs present in the film, but it is so faithfully maintained here. all the striking and bizarre coordinated outfits communicate everything you need to know about these Othered enemies - they are weird, they want to hurt you, and you need to hurt them before they hurt you first. the moonrunners' logo especially is so cool, like a self-flagellating version of the moon pie logo.

the mechanics are really intuitive and easy to pick up on but despite the game's brief playtime their simplicity inevitably becomes tedious as you work your way through the missions. the secret double dragon-esque bonus game you get for beating the core and flashback levels probably provided me with the most consistent dopamine hits; it was fun, boiled the game down to its most cathartic elements and it didn't outstay its welcome. i also played the main 18 missions twice, once on hardcore soldier mode and then the unlockable unleash the fury, and the spraypainting mechanic especially became incredibly tedious. while it is another mechanic that strangely lines up with and appears in rockstar's previous outings, i still respect them for retaining this facet of new york culture present in the movie and for using the tags of and crediting classic graffito artists in the credits too.

interesting as well for being an adaptation that faithfully recreates the events of the property it is based on while also expanding on the narrative and really fleshing out its world. i really respect it for its attention to detail in recreating the time-appropriate fashion and staying true to the movie's overall distinctly late-70s new yorker aesthetic. do video game adaptations usually expound on the source material so authoritatively like this? it is fascinating and captivating, and the prequel missions feel like the red dead redemption 2 to the movie-based missions' red dead redemption, with both contextualizing and further humanizing members of a gang which you only got a peek into before.

rumble mode also has a surprising amount of gameplay modes that are fun with a friend, but i think every woman in the game has a totally separate moveset that is really pathetic and makes them basically useless in almost all of the gamemodes. interesting subtext there. but this is a game that is just about 9 lumpenproles terrorizing a city, so it is at least congruent with itself.

There's a book called "Dog Kapital" by Karl Melon. Read it?

>Yes

I'm in my thirties, I look like Max Payne from the end of Max Payne 3, and I've been pulled into my boss' office on more than one occasion and talked to about my unfriendly demeanor. I might not strike you as someone who likes cute things, but I do! So much so that Melon Journey: Bittersweet Memories sold me off the adorable charm of its cover alone, with its clay-art characters and bubbly title font. I'm a bit self-conscious about admitting how easily drawn in I am by cute things, but it would be disingenuous to say I didn't immediately fall in love with this thing.

I otherwise went into this game sight-unseen, having previously read a review by Moschidae which I had since forgotten because I have the memory retention of a slug. I do recall being a bit apprehensive as I feel a lot of deceptively cute indie games like to hide traumatic elements or dig at something more emotionally complex than what you might absorb at face value. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I just wanna pal around with some cute animals for about 3 to 5 hours, man. There are a few times one of the various goobers you encounter in town has their feelings hurt and runs away crying and like that made me feel bad because I'm a big softie.

You also join a gang and kidnap the mayor's son, so it's got like, an edge to it. The Cavity Crew don't fuck around, their teeth are rotting out of their skull!

Melon Journey: Bittersweet Memories is a story driven game, lacking any heavy gameplay elements beyond knowing where to go and who to talk to in order to complete small quests and advance the story. You play as Honeydew, an employee at a melon soda factory who gets sucked into a conspiracy involving the distribution of contraband melon seeds to a neighboring town where they have been outlawed. Honeydew must solve "minor" problems like recovering a stolen violin, reuniting a pup with his parents, and busting cats out of jail while slowly uncovering the deeper conspiracy behind the melon trade, which goes to the highest echelons of political and corporate power. Why are melons illegal in Hog Town? I don't know, but I've seen what melon addiction is doing to this town and it's messed up!

I wasn't expecting this game to be so funny or even as subversive as it is. There's loads of goofy little scenes you can find by poking around in Hog Town, and Melon Journey's core cast of characters are all endearing. Kitten Princess and Strong Dog are perhaps one of gaming's greatest power couples (literally, they're powerful), and I really enjoyed Lily's backstory about how her estrangement from her parents led her to become radicalized against authority figures. There's plenty of shots taken against capitalism and governmental corruption, but nothing so complex as to feel tonally out of place or against the grain of Melon Journey's sense of humor. Not that I don't vibe with the message, Cavity Crew says fuck the police. Thievery Snake will burn the jail to the ground if given the opportunity.

My only complaint here is that there's not enough Detective Hamlumbo. How are you going to drop a classic character like that on me in the first ten minutes of the game and never loop back around to him? Wasted potential. Perhaps he'll show up in the sequel, which is set up if you're willing to resolve all of the Cavity Crew's problems and earn the true ending. Word of advice: all of these side quests are pretty intuitive but you can miss steps and cross points of no return so you might want to pull a guide up just to make sure you don't skip something small yet mandatory. 100% completion is otherwise not hard to achieve, and I feel like you're really missing out if you don't see a lot of these side stories through to their conclusion. This is a game not about the destination but the (Melon) journey.

Had a great time with this. It's cute, it's got loads of Game Boy charm and is remarkably expressive despite its graphical limitations, the writing is just plain fun, and it speaks to me on a personal level considering my own crippling addiction to carbonated beverages. If you told me NOS had some mind controlling agent in it, I'd buy that, but I'd still keep drinking that garbage.