In October, Nintendo opened a limited-time buffet.

"589,00 Norwegian Krone to enter!" they said. "Come now or miss a chance to try some of our best hits!"

Nintendo? They had always been a pretty good chef. I'd always enjoyed their dishes, even if I've had a bone to pick with many of their newer recipes.

"Say what you will about their lows," I thought to myself, "but their highs have always been some of the highest I've ever tried. All right, I'm interested."

I walked in, thanking my boyfriend for being willing to get the reservation as a Christmas-turned-Valentines-turned-Easter-turned-birthday present for me.

"Thanks for waiting. Here's your spaghetti, served with mushrooms and alfredo sauce just like you remember it!" Nintendo said, getting me settled at a table. "And the tropical fruit salad, and one of our most beloved specials: the black forest cake!"
And they served it all up on one big plate.

I froze for a second, and looked up at the corporation serving me my plate.

I asked: "Um, wouldn't it have been better if you worked on how you'd serve this up just a bit? I mean, it's kind of weird to imagine eating spaghetti, salad and cake all out of one plate, and I thought a chef like you would know better."

"Not at all!" Nintendo immediately responded, so quickly they almost snapped. "This is the most direct way of serving you our classic recipes just how you remember it, isn't it? No nonsense!"

I blinked. "Maybe? I mean, it still all tastes good. But shouldn't I get to pick my own plate at a buffet? It's how you used to do at The VC."

"Oh, we decided that we know what's best for you." Nintendo casually said, waving their hand with confident nonchalance. "It's like our Switch Online cookbook, right? You get to try our repertoire exactly the way we decide you should!"

"...sure. but why are you closing down in April?"

"I, well, you see... it's to encourage everyone who wants to come to get their reservations!"
And with that, Nintendo walked away.

I get it, Nintendo. You've had a rough year, and you probably wanted to make sure your fiscal year would end on a profit, even if it involved resorting to pretty desperate measures.

But we've all been hit by recent events. We're all getting quite impatient with a lot of things, and I'd like to think our tolerance for hostile decisions is getting lower by the day.

I liked the spaghetti and the salad, right? And the cake was fine, I guess. I don't necessarily regret that, but if this is the kind of ventures you see fit to do more regularly from here on, I think I'll be happy looking for my noodles elsewhere, even if nobody makes spaghetti like you do.

It's funny how both of my All-Stars review ended up being food-themed.