Dark Messiah of Might and Magic is vulgar auteurism in game form. The hallmarks of Arkane's oeuvre are all here, but with none of the polish or restraint you're used to. Violence and sex and the plots of the pulpiest fantasy books you've ever read swirl like ether in its sorcerous hands. It's what Thief would be if the developers were influenced by Half-Life 2 instead of Ultima Underworld. Dark Messiah is clearly an immersive sim, but tune your expectations of what that means: instead of intricate stealth sandboxes, it throws you into a linear, setpiece-heavy physics playpen where your greatest joy will be finding increasingly grotesque ways of murdering orcs. It's hard to believe that the dedicated kick button didn't permanently alter the course of FPS design the way Halo's regenerating health did.

It's also insanely horny, like it was written by the guy from your first high school D&D game who was always trying to seduce the NPCs. It's janky, it's too dark to see half the time, and it would crash at least once every hour, even after I found a fix to stop the most game-breaking crashes. When it works, though, it's also a brisk, bloody, brilliant time.