haha pyrocynical ga- A point in the horizon, a melting scene from your childhood. Your mortality is showing. A frantic drift towards nothing, biology doomed to an infinite recursive loop. Teeth with teeth with teeth. Take a bite. Serene scent of a coastal town, warmth of the sun. Bitter tears. Lust for power. This is where you abandoned your dreams. You are a high net worth individual, an expanding vortex of pathetic trauma. Finally a beautiful fucking nerve ape. A pure soul is born, its neurotransactions stutter into being. 30583750937509353 operations per nanosecond. Beauty eludes your porous mind.

David Cronenburg's Rainbow Six Vegas.

Finally went back to finish this one and my thoughts are extremely all over the place. It's bleak and badly designed, and wants to be; nailing every aspect of that design philosophy for better and for worse. It looks awful on purpose, it requires overly technical understanding (i.e. a unique reload, stock manipulation, hidden fishing mini-game etc.), and it makes music out of N64 samples and aggravating soundboard sfx. It makes you stressed. But really opens up once mobility like the grapple and thruster are unlocked, becoming a more freeing experience. I think it's the best bad game I've ever played and that's the best way I can think of to say it. It's a success at all it sets out to do...which is to do damage to your soul.

I assumed everyone was being obtuse...but damn...it really was JUST like Gorbino's Quest.

I've never played a game so unapologetically dedicated to what it wants to achieve artistically in my life.

Cruelty Squad is a bizarre, surreal mess of a game, that at a first glance genuinely looks awful, but beyond its purposefully off-putting exterior, you'll find a game with excellent mechanical freedom in it's gameplay and levels, hilarious writing, and bizarrely captivating world building.

This game is a once in a life time experience and its absolutely more than you think it is.

Cruelty Squad offers a unique and engaging experience for players who enjoy collecting Chunkopops. While the $11 price tag may initially seem steep, the game's community and the connections you can make with fellow Chunkopop enthusiasts make it a worthwhile investment. The game's world and characters are rich and diverse, providing a memorable experience that you won't find elsewhere. Whether you're a seasoned collector or just starting out, Cruelty Squad offers something special for all Chunkopop enthusiasts.

Score: 9/10

o texto desse jogo tem tanta carga vinda das consequências de se viver em um capitalismo-tardio-pré-apocalíptico que eu não conseguiria discorrer apropriadamente sobre ele mesmo se eu me colocasse nessa função. tudo que eu sei é que eu gosto que cruelty squad é um immersive sim estilo thief (com foco em assassinato e ações perturbadas). a gente precisa de mais jogos estilos thief. eu gosto das vibes horrendas e do design de fases que consegue incentivar exploração e ao mesmo tempo me punir por enfiar meu nariz em lugares estranhos. o melhor de tudo é que essa contradição funciona dentro do loop de gameplay (já que você nunca perde muito progresso morrendo) e nunca se torna frustrante demais.

é um daqueles jogos que usam a dificuldade e seu design como uma piada feita às custas de quem o joga, e quer saber? é uma boa piada. são múltiplas boas piadas. eu gosto da fase que tem um trampolim insanamente forte no meio de um prédio que te atrapalha pra entrar na sala importante mas que te oferece uma ótima forma de escapar do caos causado por suas ações. amei bastante. um dia eu faço o conteúdo pós game.

Is this the funniest game ever made?

I mean. No. Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion: Todd's Day Out will likely never be beaten in that regard, but a lot of games TRY to be funny. Jazzpunk comes to mind, a game I was told was very funny and fun but I found to be neither. Some games are funny, but not "fun". More exercises in joke telling, like The Stanley Parable.

This game, however is both fun and funny. You can speculate on illicit biocurrencies. Eminently quotable lines. The life bar may be one of the funniest HUD elements I've ever seen. But you also can go sicko mode with speed upgrades and intestinal-spiderman slinging to pull off sick 360 no-scopes on mayors in crowded malls. You might get REAL nausea playing this, which is both funny and fun.

I knew I was going to like this game, but I had no idea I was going to LOVE it.

Cruelty Squad is a very interesting game, one that I thoroughly enjoy but also feel somewhat sour on.

I love the art style, vomit on the screen that somehow ends up being cohesive when you actually play the game. Same thing with the vibes, the bleak and hyper-cynical capitalist hellscape where human life is worth less than the price of the organs. However, the game is very on the nose so it feels less like scathing commentary and more so a parody. The writing is also quite funny and fits with how absurd the game is. The music does suck though, it fits, but it just sounds like ass. The absurdity also extends to controls and game systems as well.

What is the reload button? If you said R then what were you thinking you buffoon, clearly it would be holding right-click and slamming your mouse downward you stupid idiot. R is logically the interact button. L-shift is aim-down-sights, swap weapon is C, and crouch is X. This is the way God intended man to play FPS games. To keep to wackiness going, there is not one, not two, but three different stock markets; one for actual company stocks, and the other two are for speculative biological investments, human organs and fish. I am a big fan of Balls Fish.

Levels are large and filled with multiple routes. You may even notice places that you can’t reach. That’s where bodily enhancements come into play. Ever felt like your appendix is just being a freeloader and not contributing enough, then why not make it a grappling hook. Why stop there, make your back and feet shoot gunk to jump and zoom around the place. Frickin’ absolve yourself in a flesh suit to be more protected but removing more than have of your visibility. The augments are all very thematic and some really shake up how you play the game, like the grappendix. The grappendix is one of the earlier augments that really shake up how you approach missions. You start off peaking around corners to get the jump on enemies, to flinging yourself to your target and finishing levels in less than a minute. There is one caveat though, why is everything so expensive. There is cheapo stuff, but it ranges from boring to making the game nigh unplayable, looking at you nightmare goggles.

If you want to truly experience Cruelty Squad, you have to grind for money. Which I guess fits the capitalist hellscape, but this is a game, and I want to have fun on a game. You don’t get paid relatively much for completing missions, so you’re forced to play the market. Playing the stock market is not something I enjoy doing, I want to be a Cruelty Squad employee not some wannabe stock trader. You can also grind for fish, especially a certain sewer dwelling fish, but again I want to play Cruelty Squad, not be a fisherman. It sucks that you have to go through menial garbage, just to open up the game. Also, the “final” level sucks. The best parts of the final level are the shortcut that skips the godawful block pushing puzzles with Gorbino from megahit Gorbino’s Quest harassing you and the ending. The rest of the level is fine, it’s just that terrible block pushing. Additionally, difficulty selection is overly convoluted, even for this game. If you’re confused how difficulty selection can be convoluted, then pay attention to the screen borders and you’ll figure it out soon enough.

Cruelty Squad is a truly absurd and strange game. I wish is didn’t feel as sour as I do on it, but I walk away from it thinking about how one of a kind and different it is. That alone elevates it to something special, even with my gripes. It is definitely worth experiencing firsthand.