Monke time 🦍🦧🐒

Donkey Kong Country Returns is definitely derivative. Most of the aesthetics are lifted straight from the SNES trilogy and have basic “names” (literally just Jungle, Beach, Ruins, etc.). The planks of wood are such boring villains that I often forgot they were there. However, it’s still FUN AS HELL and gets progressively more difficult, culminating in a brutal final world with a killer soundtrack. It’s very much a modern Donkey Kong Country game functioning near-perfectly on the 3DS, and it’s hard not to love it.

Special shout-out to the silhouette levels, which still look visually striking even in 240p.

DK has crazy amounts of inertia in this game, the most I've ever seen in a 2D platformer. That means that every move you make counts, and you may not be able to avert a catastrophe that you can see coming from pretty far away, because your earlier decision of moving quickly prevents you from stopping on a dime. This can be really frustrating, but it can also allow for some fantastic momentum when things DO work. Levels are well designed for it too. Ultimately this "heavy inertia" style of platforming just isn't my favorite, but it is still not something I've really seen done anywhere else. So while it will likely never be in my top platformers, I can see myself getting cravings to play it in the future, which is commendable in and of itself.

Donkey Kong Country once again proves to be a difficult platformer and just like the reboot of Punch-Out!! on the Wii, this game doesn't pull its punches despite being a more modern game. There are parts of this game that are just as, if not more difficult than in some of the other games, though this game feels a bit weird with its difficulty. Since each area is based off of a theme, some gimmicks are a lot more annoying than others, such as the Cave levels having a lot more Minecart levels or the Volcano levels having the insta-kill lava, which is to be expected but it's a platforming thing I never really liked. The level design itself is pretty fair, though I feel like the movement could've been improved on. I don't think the game feels bad to play by any means, hell I could say they even improved it a bit due to Diddy Kong having a jetpack for a short hover rather than switching between the two. At the same time, the movement just feels sort of awkward at times in a way that's not horrible, but it does make things feel a little more difficult than normal. Overall, pretty solid game with tough level design but very unique gimmicks that enhance the game but also make it harder.

Finally beat the stupid friggin’ banana temple.

I was planning on playing this game to completion.

But then mirror mode.

No.

It took me way too long to realize just how unhinged this game can get. Beating all the K levels was absolutely maddening. I am not looking forward to going back to any of them in any capacity. And now the golden temple is just the cherry on top.

Why are there no checkpoints? Why is every platform either terribly designed for movement or extremely small and above an instant death pit in a level with no checkpoints? Why are those stupid spear enemies that spawn in the air and send projectiles across the entire level there? HOW the HELL do you beat the stupid koala guys without taking damage or rolling under them the second they spawn in, making it impossible to beat the level without noticing this and dying at least once? And if damage IS the intended method of getting around them, WHY IS THERE TWO MORE?!?!?!?

Edit: I forgot you could pick up bombs.