7/10
(2-hour review)

To begin with, I replaying the first part before the sequel and didn’t “see” anything remarkable in the game, I don’t understand the hype around it, it’s just an indie with good destructibility and buggy and not buggy physics), it was difficult to even call it a full-fledged game, although DLC for it were already more interesting, as they tried to parody popular genres of games, this made more sense. In general, I do not recommend the original part,

But the sequel can already be recommended, well .. for a very specific audience. This is the same Goat simulator.. only normally designed, now we have Unreal engine graphics and physics, a pretty visual/interface, a more interesting location of the city in the mountains, for completing tasks you recieve new clothes for customizing your goat, there are activities for multiplayer, although very primitive, and you can drive cars) And even the control is nice. More or less normal optimization. And now.. I can’t say that this is a bad and pointless game, but it’s also not necessary to play it.. I liked more the 2021 game from some developers of Goat Simulator in the same genre of sandbox or "entertain yourself" - "Just Die Already" , there was an interesting city, at least a little lively, cartoonish visual, interesting secrets, at least some goal that could be called the final of game, the concept itself - when you play as a fragile grandfather and can "dismember" into pieces from any hit/touch - really created a unique "sandbox" experience, and it also gave you some kind of hardcore.
But in the "Goat" game, jumping on some skyscrapers, for the sake of secrets, on the contrary, infuriates, it's easier to just run around and smash everything around into chips with your horns, but it will quickly get boring. Interesting Easter eggs i also didn`t met, except for a simple mangling of famous names, but it's boring. The game itself is trying to parody games in the open world, but in fact it`s the same, if you call "farm" useless - That doesn't stop a farm from being a farm) It would be better if the game deep more seriously into some specific "parody", like it was in dlc to the original, well, or at least.. Would add more reactions to people). They also added full-fledged missions, like helping someone or doing something, but in terms of gameplay, this is all also implemented as primitively as possible.

🏆 I only liked the joke at the end of the mini-game, when no matter who wins the round, you can be the first to reach the cup at the end and win). Yes, and the initial cutscene from the first person was made cool, I already thought that I was playing AAA about a goat, and, by the way, the price of the game, now, of course, is a very goaty.. in any region.

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Начну с того, что пересмотрел перед сиквелом первую часть и не "разглядел" в игре ничего примечательного, не понимаю хайпа вокруг неё, просто индюшка с хорошей разрушаемостью и глючной и не глючной физикой, даже полноценной игрой это назвать было сложно, хотя DLC к ней уже были поинтереснее, так как пытались пародировать популярные жанры игр, в этом было больше смысла. В общем, я не советую оригинальную часть,
Но вот сиквел уже можно порекомендовать, ну.. для очень специфичной аудитории. Это тот же самый симулятор козла.. только нормально оформленный, теперь у нас графика и физика Unreal engine, приятный визуал/интерфейс, более интересная локация города в горах, за задания дают новые шмотки для кастомизации козла, есть активности для мультиплеера, хотя и очень примитивные, и можно ездить на машинах) Причём даже управление нормальное. Оптимизация более менее. И вот..теперь я не могу сказать, что это прям плохая и бессмысленная игра, но и прям обязательно играть в это тоже не надо.. Мне больше понравилась игра 2021 года от некоторых разработчиков Goat Simulator в том же жанре песочницы или "развлеки себя сам" - "Just Die Already" , там был интересный город, хоть немножко живой, мультяшненький визуал, интересные секретки, хоть какая-то цель, которую можно было назвать финалом игры, сама концепция - когда ты играешь хрупким дедушкой и можешь "расчлениться" на кусочки от любого удара/касания - действительно создавала уникальный "песочный" экспериенс, причём это ещё и какой-то хардкор тебе давало.
А вот запрыгивать на какие-нибудь высотки в "Козле", ради секретов, наоборот бесит, легче просто бегать и закликивать своими рогами всё вокруг в щепки, но это быстро надоест. Интересных пасхалок, кроме простого коверкания известных названий я тоже не успел встретить. Сама игра пытается пародировать игры в открытом мире, но по сути ей же и является, от того, что вы называете фарм бесполезным - он от этого не перестаёт быть фармом) Лучше бы игра более серьёзно ушла в какую-то конкретную "пародию", как это было в dlc к оригиналу, ну или хотя-бы.. Добавили бы больше реакции людям). Ещё добавили полноценные задания, типо помочь кому-то или сделать что-то, но по геймплею это всё тоже максимально примитивно реализовано.

🏆 Мне понравился только прикол в конце мини-игр, когда кто бы не выиграл раунд, можно в конце просто первым добежать до кубка, и победить). Да и начальную катсцену от первого лица сделали прикольную, я уж подумал, что играю в AAA про козла, да и, кстати, цена у игры, сейчас, конечно, козлинная.. в любом регионе.

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This was bahhhh-fflingly good. (Wait, that's more a sheep sound). This was kinda AHHHHH-some! (Better!). Who would've thought a sequel to the meme-experimental-tech demo that took the Internet by storm would actually be an incredibly polished game? Genuinely fun, with so many details hidden within every nook and cranny of this sizeable island filled with stupid quests, hilarious references and enough collectibles to fund a goat army. The way completing quests adds related items/themes to your goat castle. The altering of the world map when a quest is completed, such as detonating a nuclear bomb in the middle of a town. The sheer amount of costumes with unique abilities, including an angry granny riding the goat armed with a yarn ball cannon(?). Just so much content for a well-priced game.

Sure, the core essence of the Goat Simulator hasn't changed. There are some unrefined bugs/glitches that can make for some frustrating moments of platforming between buildings. The driving is clunky. And once you've found the vast majority of collectibles, trying to find those last few can be absurdly frustrating. But the whole experience is SO much better, to the point where this sequel actually feels like a game rather than a demo.

It's hard to sum up a game like Goat Simulator 3. You're in a goat in a huge sandbox world and you're just let loose to explore and cause mayhem.

Didn't like the changes to mutations and costumes from the first game at the beginning, but after finishing 3 I think it is a much better system. You can mix and match costume parts, some have powers, some are just cosmetic which means you can still have fun customizing your goat while having the best powers equipped.

They try to have a 'story' in this one but it's barely there and really only gives the game an intro and a final 'boss', otherwise the rest of the game is just running riot doing whatever you want.

Some of the funniest and best Easter eggs in modern games. But I wouldn't expect less from this series.

Hey y'all, one last review to close off the year. And a new pfp too! Goat Simulator 3 isn't exactly what I had in mind for the last game I'd end up beating this year but after so many up and downs it feels fitting to end things with a funny 6/10 meme game.

In some ways Goat Simulator 3 is a definite step up from its predecessor. It looks better, the events and missions are much easier to find. There is a homebase where new stuff is added as you level up and complete the events. Where the first game feels a bit aimless, this one having an actual structure alone makes it much better and actually leads way to a surprisingly fun finale. There are still loads of hidden secrets and easter eggs to find so the huge crowd of hard boiled Goatcore folks won't have a reason to cry about it being too streamlined and casual (who are we kidding they're one of the most well known toxic fanbases anyways). All the new additions are good. It's fun to run around as some different animals - or otherwise - and the ragdoll physics are as fun as ever. The game is intentionally unpolished, but I rarely had bugs that didnt feel fully intended besides falling out of the map once or twice. My biggest complaint is that all the minigames are locked into co-op. I played this solo so I never got to try any. The fact there's no versions with AI or anything is a pretty big letdown.

The other downside to this game isn't really its fault. The variety of the DLCS in the first game is pretty inseparable to the package as a whole, and since this game just came out It doesn't feel entirely fair to have a final word on this yet. Assuming this game continues to get updated and expanded, I am looking forward to seeing if it can one day truly surpass the original. Or not? Really I'm just happy i got this for christmas I think owning a physical copy of this for PS5 is fuckin hilarious.

Happy New Year guys. I've promised a lot of reviews and I hope to continue to provide more as I continue my gaming adventures. I appreciate any and all of you that decide to stick with me. Re4... Spider Man 2..... man next year is gonna be great for gaming. Can't wait.

Thanks for reading <3

Nancymeter - 65/100
Time Played - 8 hours 9 minutes
Trophy Completion - 81% (33/39)
Game Completion #17 of December
Game Completion #162 of 2022

I've gotta say, I was not expecting how much this entry in the Goat Simulator series fine-tuned and improved the initial concept. What was once a series of fully random, sandbox style goofing around is now a fun environment with not just OMG randomness, but intelligent reward and objective systems to encourage player direction, a loose story with fun pokes at development as a whole, and the ability to be more than a cute little game you break out to make friends laugh.

Having set objectives with different unlockables and point rewards, along with a robust unlockable item catalog, makes this a nearly perfected version of the initial Goat Sim concept. And the variety of tools, mechanics, and quick diversions means the player doesn't have to sit still between them, ensuring that you can have a good 3-5 hours of fun before even a little slow-down starts to kick in.

My only complaint is that some of the quest design, while intended to seemingly mock similar tasks in other games, is repetitive and unrewarding, having players do a LOT of dragging item A to point B. The worst offender in the bunch is absolutely the quest for getting 5,000 points of spending currency from ATMs, which requires the player to, well, just kind of stand there and headbutt ATMs that many times. If you end up doing this quest near the end, like I did, it really slows down the game's otherwise fun pacing, making the end game stretch feel like a bit of a slog.

But overall I recommend this one. Especially if you were a fan of the first, but even more so if you're a fan of heavy mechanical variance.

Found on Goat simulator steam reviews

This game saved my life.

I am 27.

My ex-wife and I have a daughter together, and adopted our son together. They are now both 4 years old.

When we were going through our separation, I found myself lost and miserable. I was self destructive. I got so mad one day from everything spiraling out of my control that I punched some concrete in a moment of overwhelming emotion. That caused me to break my 5th metacarpal in my right hand... my working hand... my games hand.. the hand that I held and carried my children to bed with.. The hand I desperately needed to make sure I could continue to provide.

After learning of the severity of my self-inflicted damage, I was borderline suicidal. Keep in mind that just a few months before this, I was the happiest man with no history of depression or anxiety. I have never had fits of rage, or been one to break down and cry, but I was in a low spot that just really buried me from being able to see the light on the other side.

Having nothing better to do, I searched for a game I could play, ONE HANDED while I recovered. I somehow stumbled upon this game and read some of the reviews. I decided that it had to be worth a shot... I must admit, I didn't beat the game, or play nearly as long as some of you. In fact, I may have only played this game a day or two.. With that being said, after doing so, I had a new found joy and hope for life. I was able to put behind me the pain and suffering that had been cast over me. I was able to experience other peoples joy and happiness. I was able to see the fruits of my "labor". I relaxed for 5 fucking minutes to this music long enough to realize that I was going to be okay.

After coming to that realization, I turned the game off, and I went back to work. It hurt my hand like hell but I was motivated. I stopped feeling so damn sorry for myself, and I became the father I needed to be in that moment, not the weak boy I was behaving as.

Today, I am close friend with my kids mother. We don't fight, or argue, or say hurtful things to each other. We are parents, and friends.

I now have 3 kids. My third child is, wait for it, ALSO 4 YEARS OLD. The woman I am with was going through a very similar situation at the time of my own separation, and we just stumbled in to each others life unexpectedly. We have been in a relationship for a year now, and are very happy together.

Moral of the story, you never know what life holds in store for you, and if I would have given up when all the odds were stacked against me, I wouldn't be where I am today. This silly little game helped me realize that.

Thank you