Now this is a Yakuza game!

This feels to me like a more perfected version of Yakuza 4. Almost everything I didn't like about this game has been severely scaled back or removed entirely, leaving a peak Yakuza experience just before 0, the legacy game that you probably shouldn't start with yet everyone does anyway. Once again, multiple protagonists, and I'm gonna rank em.

Part 1: Kiryu is great

The story starts with Kiryu in Fukuoka, taking up a job as a taxi driver while Haruka is off following her dream. As is expected at this point, some bullshit relating to the Tojo's struggles appears at Kiryu's doorstep and he needs to rejoin the Yakuza to get to the bottom of it. Daigo goes missing in the middle of a power struggle in the Omi Alliance, and the plot is Kiryu piecing things together. It's great, especially seeing Kiryu learn to handle a new life away from the orphanage. As well as that, the taxi minigame is great too! It's basically that joke of 'play GTA but act like a regular citizen' and it's great stuff (minus those suicidal pedestrians like what is up with them) as well as the drag races that occur later on, with all the characters of Kiryu's taxi service being likable characters. Like with 4, 10/10 opening, I loved it. But now we go back to Saejima, yayyyyy...

Part 1: Wait, Saejima's good now?

Saejima's story is about him breaking out of prison (again) It's more interesting than 4, and like Kiryu, it's cool learning about the other inmates. There is some weird pacing with the imagination segments, but it's fine, I guess it's the only way they could fit in combat. Speaking of which, Saejima has fun combat now! He has armour on a lot of his attacks, as well as a larger health pool, actually conveying through gameplay that this is a big man not to be fucked with. But after you escape, you end up in a mountain village, in a sequence of walking through snow and shitty hunting tutorials, and if you were in a Discord server with me, you know I didn't enjoy, especially when hunting and trapping were two separate tutorials that really could have been one. But after that, you get to Sapporo! And my god, a city with side content? Saejima sidequests? Not getting chased down by the cops? It's all I ever wanted! But anyway, while the main plot does become an annoying fetch quest for a bit, it's still super fun to play as Saejima. His section gets a 7/10, the first half is still kinda lame.

Part 3: Wait, this is critical path content?

The next stage is Haruka, now trying to become an Idol. So naturally, this is a rhythm game now. At first, I was into it. The streets are littered with dance battles you can do, and the minigame was kinda fun. But it gets repetitive real fast. A lot of the game is training for the princess league, with you doing the routine of the same songs over and over, alongside some boring side stuff like greeting fans and interviews, so I did end up skipping basically all the side content here. But the story is good. Haruka's staff are all good characters, and it does add enough backstory and intrigue to the main plot that I was invested. One thing I will say is how docile Haruka is now. She was never super aggressive, but she did have a backbone and some of Kiryu's stronger tendencies clearly rubbed off on her in previous games, like when she slapped Mine in Yakuza 3 and did everything she could to protect the orphans. But now? She just kind of accepts shit from rivals like t-set. I get she has to act professional, but even an internal monologue of 'Yo, FUCK these bitches!' would have gone a long way. But overall, I'd give the whole act a 6/10. But regardless, she shares her act with another character, which leads me to...

Part 4: I FUCKING LOVE SHUN AKIYAMA!!!!!!!!

Shun Akiyama opens a branch of his money lending business in Osaka, where Haruka's plot is going down. So he lends his aid to the squad, piecing together the plot as he goes. And he's still a legend, basically everything I loved about him in 4 remains, now with aerial combat because RGG studios knew they weren't beating the Sanji allegations so just rolled with it. But he adds a great deal to Haruka's plot as he figures out the mysteries of her agency. 10/10 again, this guy's a legend.

Part 5: Hey, a new guy

The new character here is Shinada, a former baseball player forced to quit, learning there was some shady business behind what went down in his life. He's a funny guy, a constantly broke loser who makes money by getting laid a bunch (I mean doesn't sound too bad) while fighting more with weapons (I cheesed so much shit with the infinite durability pole you have no idea) his side thing is a baseball sidequest which I didn't bother with, but his plot is fun. All about teaming up with the people he owes money to to uncover the conspiracy behind his baseball career and how it ties into the main plot. 9/10, he's great.

Part 6: You tried your best with that finale, guys.

So, all the parties come together, the plots in motion. It's time to finish this.
The finale actually starts strong, with everyone getting together in Kamorocho and heading out to stop the villain's scheme, with only the rooftop plot point being really dumb (It's a rooftop with no camera, just wait and bait him out, dumbasses) before the finale. Akiyama, Saejima, and Shinada all get decent final boss fights, but the main villain turns out to be unable to fight, working to give his gains to the TRUE final boss...who I barely remembered. Hell, when Kiryu confronts him and asks what he's doing, he responds with 'I don't know'. even the game knows it's an asspull, but you confront him...and then watch a jpop performance...then you fight him. And the fights pretty good, the narrative weight just isn't really there. 8/10

So overall, it's pretty damn good. Next up is the last of the Kiryu saga (and Gaiden but that seems to be Yakuza 6.5) so I'm looking forward to that

This just feels like an absolute drag playing it was cool at first but, the story just became so convoluted and disjointed like the prime example Shinado that's when I completely could not care about his baseball story and how tf they even connect it to the overall plot as well the overabundance characters it has. The bosses weren't fun so I'm just slowly chipping away at their health while they're most of the time each on stage being ungradable and blocking 90% of moves I can harm them with. The rhythm section hardly has any songs to play so it just becomes samey also it's not even challenging in the slightest. At least the karaoke and taxis part were decent. Everything else is not fun.

It's not Kiryover yet. Look, he brought back two of his friends as leads, they really gonna believe they Like A Dragon at this rate. Yay I made the jokes at the start and subverted expectations let's get right into the meat no balls out. The year... is... I can't keep up, but that fella Shinada reminded me right at the end with his baseball sob story: we're in year 17 after A. N (I make it sound like Nishiki is Jesus), Kiryu is having his mid-life crisis (again) and Haruka is having her rebellious teen phase. Not rly she's a doll, maybe too much so (not my Haruka 😤), point is she packed her things and left a bunch of kids in the care of... huh, in my head they're taken care of by Mikio but my main issue with Yakuza is how important and likeable characters just vanish after one entry. Yakuza 0 Will Change Everything.

It took me almost as long to finish the game than the time Saejima spent in jail! Unlike him, I won't do my time twice. It's cute that they make you believe Majima died off-screen for so long. I kind of wish they kept that lie up to then follow the game with Majima as the protagonist of 0. Would it change anything for me, late Yakuza bloomer? No, I just crave chaos. If I wanted peace, I'd play Haruka dancing and singing for a good chunk of the game. Mayhaps I'd rope Akiyama into dancing some more.

There are a few awesome boss fights, but I feel confident in saying the combat has only been in a downward slope since 3. The final boss of the game is the worst fight in the series so far, and I do not say those words lightly. Shame, because it's a good character that ended up butchered by every aspect of the game it seems, right at the end. They sure like their twists, and add a few loose ends to the mix. All for what? Another ending where Kiryu seemingly dies? That shit lowkey hilarious I hope it happens again next time.

So many new locations, though. Yakuza is taking us for a grand tour of Japan. From beating up bears with garbage, to a giant Hatsune Miku snowoman... 💯

By far my least favourite Yakuza game and the only one I can confidently say I will never replay. A lot of the issues with Yakuza 4 are carried over and amplified in Yakuza 5 due to the bigger scale of the game. It's overly ambitious to its own detriment and tries to do too many things all at once only to end up being an unenjoyable mess. The story is overloaded with too many important side characters and so long that after a point I started to lose track of who's who. The game definitely overstays its welcome and I was so ready for it to be over before I even got to Shinada's part but they kept introducing new characters and conflicts and I lost interest. Some of the individual sections like Haruka/Akiyama and Kiryu's were good while others like Saejima's straight up sucked. Maybe the side content is alright; I wouldn't know since I was so bored and fed up with the game thanks to the main story that I barely did any of it.

I can think of few Yakuza games with as much issues as Yakuza 5. From the messy and convoluted storyline; to the mostly weak antagonists, to its unwillingness to fully explore some of its subject matter. But I can also think of few Yakuza games I enjoyed as much as Yakuza 5. In terms of combat it's my favorite game behind Zero, the variety of its movesets and improved boss design from 4 made for so many enjoyable encounters. And the minigames are some of my favorites in the series. Taxi driving as Kiryu, hunting as Saejima, idol industry work as Haruka, baseball as Shinada; not only being mechanically enjoyable but are able to give some genuinely heartwarming stories that furthered my appreciation of the characters. But as I mentioned earlier I don't feel that positive when it comes to the main plot. Yakuza 5 has one of the most inconsistent plots in the series, having some of Yakuza’s best scenes along with one of its most messy storylines. Kiryu and Saejima’s parts have some great character work, but Saejima’s part suffers from pacing issues and the convoluted storyline. Haruka and Akiyama’s part was really fun to play, but is brought down by inconsistent character writing (Mrs Park and those two cunts from T-Set) and an unwillingness to fully explore the dark side of the idol industry. Shinada’s part was good because of how much I like Shinada and his relationship with Takasugi, but I didn't like a certain plot twist and the home run subplot started to bore me around the end. The final part puts on display a lot of these issues I mentioned, yet when I played that final chapter I left the game feeling really satisfied. It's a touching resolution for the main characters that puts on display what makes each of them so great, and it also includes two of my favorite boss fights of the series so far. This game is such a perfect encapsulation of what Yakuza is, flaws and all. And while I wish some things about it were different, I still had a great time playing through it, and it reminded me yet again what makes these games so special.

I thought this part would never end, because there are 5 full-fledged main characters and a damn Santa Barbara in the plot. In essence, this is a continuation of part 4 and the completion of the stories and characters introduced in the four. This game has everything from realistic taxi driving to hunting a grizzly killer, not to mention part of the company with Haruka, where in essence it is one big rhythm game. One of the non-standard parts about the yakuza from the entire line and that’s its charm.

Я думал эта часть никогда не закончится, ибо тут 5 полноценных главных героев и чертова санта барбара в сюжете. По сути это продолжение 4 части и завершение историй, введенных в четверке, персонажей. В этой игре есть все, от реалистичного вождения такси, до охоты на убийцу гризли, не говоря, про часть компании с харукой, где по сути - это одна большая ритм игра. Одна из нестандартных частей про якудз из всей линейки и в этом ее прелесть.