I met my boyfriend in a Discord server for an indie game.

It's a bit silly when I put it that way. I bonded with him and fell in love with him because we both played a video game. As someone with a lot of neurodivergencies, though, the medium of a chat client made things... easier. I had a lot more control over how I presented myself, a lot less worry about my appearance or how I was carrying myself or the sound of my own voice. It was safe.

A little over a year after I first met him, I visited him in his home country thousands of miles away.

I won't ever forget the feeling of being in the hotel room, knowing he was arriving, and just waiting for him to show up.

One minute.

Two minutes.

Three minutes.

What if he doesn't like your dress?

Four minutes.

Five minutes.

Six minutes.

Wait, his mom is coming too?

Seven minutes.

Eight minutes.

You don't know what you would say to his mom! You barely even speak the same language as her!

Nine minutes.

This was all a mistake.

Ten minutes.

Maybe you should just-

I was thrust into it, regardless of my own preconceptions of "readiness". I survived, as unlikely as it sounds. Though it's something I wouldn't want to experience ever again, it's something I likely will, over and over. And over and over, it will be okay.

Post-Disclosure, Devil's Night understands this. It simply is this. That worry that those you care about in one space won't love you anymore in another, that they won't see you as the same. But the truth is that they're just as scared as you are - evocative prose in their head or not. It's a terrifying, exhausting, and draining experience, but ultimately a beautifully human one.

I wouldn't give it up for anything there is.