July, 2021

March, 2021

03

0h 59m

Finished

And that makes 100% completion today.
Scrap Brain isn't as bad as Labyrinth Zone but it's close. Pro tip: Go really fucking slow. I know, it sucks, but that is how you beat it. Every single trap feels like it's asking you to rush past it so you miss signposting and get zapped or murdered, and there are blocks that you have to wait to appear. Enemy design isn't nearly as bad as Labyrinth Zone, though, just traps are worse. That being said, having to play through it so slow to function is distressing, if not the antithesis to what the game seemingly wants?
The final boss? No rings. I thankfully got through it unscathed, finding the electric balls easy to react to, and positioning myself so I always had an out. Never got hit once, although asking for the player to never get hit is still asking too much. Made the boss kind of a joke for me, though. If you're impatient, you're dead.

The last three achievements on RetroAchievements were invented by people who felt like abusing the player, at least in my book. Completing Marble Zone in less than 90 seconds is a neat challenge, and actually not that hard to do. The underachiever and 200 rings achievements? Ridiculous. The underachiever asks you to wait 5 minutes in every stage of Green Hill, and have 0 rings when you get there, AND have hit no enemies. Green Hill is already a slightly unfair stage, but now it's completely jacked up, and waiting is painful without speed on emulation. But the 200 rings might be the worst one simply because most stages are in the 210-230 range if they're even close, which means backtracking through each path of a level. I walked out of a stage with only 198 because some were impossible to get in one go, and said fuck it. Time for cheats. I'm not sorry.

24 of 24 achievements.

02

0h 28m

Star Light might be the only decent zone besides Green Hill, or at least Act 1 and Act 3 are. Act 1 is a lot more straightforward in how to be speedy, and the platforming isn't nearly as bad as previous slow sections. That being said, Act 2 has the new bomb enemy in spades in dickish corners, another level that just screams "WHY".

18 of 24 achievements

18 of 24 achievements

February, 2021

28

0h 30m

Spring Yard is not a good stage, I don't know why people defend any part of it. Filled with speed traps, annoying sections, constant pace breakers, and just way too many spikes! There is no going fast here, at least not without being wildly out of control, and very likely going to hit something that will hurt. At least you're feeling pain while listening to good music?

Labyrinth Zone might just be the worst experience I've had in a platformer that wasn't, like, broken or bad from the beginning. If you can get to the end of any Act with 50 rings, I applaud you. Terribly design around platforms that will constantly drop you and sometimes unavoidable damage, along with INSANELY dickish enemy placement (and enemies themselves!). Also the special stages? Kill me. The last two are brutal. I hate this shit so much.

15 of 24 achievements

27

1h 3m

Had to replay Green Hill for some achievements, specifically collecting rings in the first seconds of a level. For the record, Green Hill's song is good, but I've been so overexposed I can no longer say it's amazing, if it ever was.
Marble Zone isn't exactly as bad as I was told it would be. Don't get me wrong, it's still bad, but it's not on the level of throwing a controller. It's the first time Sonic 1 confronts the player with having to learn the platforming if they hadn't done so in Green Hill, which can be unfair if you were just trying to go fast and keep momentum (which the physics system pushes) instead of stopping or exploring. Otherwise, rings telegraph jumps and the enemies aren't terribly placed. The problem is how SLOW it is, having to wait for blocks, spike traps, cycles, etc. And that means you're dealing with the not-great movement even more! There are safety barriers in the form of lava instead of spikes, which thankfully don't insta-kill you like spikes (which is... who thought that was ok), and usually falling has another platform on the top, but it's disheartening often to lose progress from getting hit that makes you track through the same shit you just went through, even if you didn't necessarily lose a life.
Good song though.

Had to replay Green Hill again for some more missed achievements, specifically 100000 points and to get an extra life I missed. Also got 2 emeralds from Marble, and can I just say special stages suck? The first one wasn't too bad, but the second one? The music isn't even good either, it's actually kinda annoying.

11 of 24 achievements

22

0h 8m

Started

Going to go between short spurts and long ones for this. Green Hill is nice and clearly the best level here, but it still has annoying enemy placement designed to make you stop and reactions that are just too close to perfection required. Getting the best pathway shows how much the physics system and Sonic's movement kinda sucks for slow platforming, being insanely slippery and easy to fall off blocks, best seen in Act 2 and 3 of Green Hill. 4 of 24 retro achievements so far. Managed to net 4 unique checkpoints.

January, 2021

07

-

0h 50m

Started

Played as a Doctor. Party members:
Leader -- Tatsky
Erika
Schredd
Angel
Quil

Quil got cholera. A fire in my wagon destroyed almost all of my bullets, a ton of my food, and a few sets of clothing. Had to restock later. Thankfully only had to hunt 4-5 times (I bought a LOT of food).
Schredd and Erika were bitten by snakes, which I didn't even have to rest for. I did have to rest for Angel's measles, which didn't matter because he got a random fever and died in one night, absolute bullshit.

Fuck impassable trails. Had some spooky guy telling me my wagon was going to blow up or something. Never happened.
Quil got a fever along with Erika getting exhaustion, this time rested immediately. They lived.

Decided to do the river with the rocks and it was the easiest shit ever, I have made the trail with 1760 points! :D

-

Started

02

NES

1h 35m

C got easier over time, but trying to get to Round 20 of A is fucking hard. The difficulty spike is real and I died trying to get any perfects and gave up

Fuck the difficulty spike in B. The accuracy doesn't actually go down as far as I know, but it certainly FEELS like it does. Birds leave the frame really quickly post Round 10 and getting a Perfect is insanely hard. I feel for anybody who had to use the Zapper for that.

I consider this 100% as I got all the Retro Achievements... with some liberal use of save states for Round 11+ of B when going for Perfect. A reminder that this was with a mouse, not a Zapper, and yet I still found it incredibly difficult.
NES

01

NES

1h 32m

Started

I have to improvise due to a lack of zapper in my household. This is essentially cheating as it's a mouse, but oh well. I'm not planning on speedrunning, the NES itself is ~$73 I don't have, and the Zapper is ~$34 I also don't have.
It's really hard to perfect C, those discs go fucking fast.
Even harder to perfect 15C aaaaaaaaaaaaaa
NES

Started

December, 2020

09

0h 56m

And thus begins the tale of me having to write down shit to solve puzzles, and consulting memos. By mostly writing down because it's easier for me.

Maria getting tired in the hospital only to eventually get killed was kinda sad. Not really emotionally impactful but it wasn't fun
Laura really being a bitch to James and locking them into a boss room with creepy ass lips monsters.
I have a feeling Laura and Maria aren't "real" characters and actually created by the town.
Maria getting mad at James for just leaving her there in a dangerous murder hospital is on point. This game seems to call out how utterly dismissive James is of people and how much of an asshole he is to kids.

Love how the diary on the roof just ends with "I...." without finishing. That's how you end writing in a diary. I.....

The box was kinda difficult to open because the numbers printed in blood were hard to figure out. Took me a while to realize the first one was a "5".

It went from vibe to fucking spooky again now that I'm in the "other world" hospital, especially with the sound design and the increased amount of enemies.

The room you leave Maria in having that fucking breathing, JESUS stop creeping me out game

I admittedly cheated for the trivia game because I couldn't remember the answers to the third question. Which, by the way, THE FUCK WAS THAT TRIVIA GAME

The door with the women fused with it is so fucking creepy, and it also took me forever to realize you use the damn rings.

Last thing I did was the chase and jesus what a good setpiece.

08

1h 59m

Started

This game spooks me the fuck out and it has been a struggle just to play one hour of it without at least one person being there over my shoulder or in spirit with VC, which just goes to show how pussy shit I am for anything horror with video games. I'd rather watch this and not be scared, having a controller in my hand frightens me to no other level

The voice acting is kinda scuffed but it's fine tbh.

Music TOP TIER but I already knew that. You hang out in any VGM community you're going to hear this soundtrack 100 times and all I have to say is that it fucks and is a vibe.
The sound outside the music? Freaks me the fuck out. The screams from the enemies when you hit them freaks me out, it sounds like women screaming from torture or something. The crawlers too, got fucking jump scared from a van one. And they move so FAST aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAA

Some kid stepped on my hand and kicked a key away what a M E A N I E

WHAT THE FUCK touched James' hand through that hole, WHAT THE FUCK. My controller vibrated I DON'T LIKE THIS

Pyramid head on the other side of the bars is just staring at me can I file a restraining order before I get to him

The first puzzle was neat! It was easy as soon as I figured out what the names meant, but that's half the battle imo.

Did Eddie kill a guy? Is he just a nervous big guy? O.O

That moment with Angela and the knife was weird as fuck.

2nd puzzle with the safe was easy sauce. Third puzzle wasn't so easy, took me a bit to realize it wanted the coins.

Everyone in Silent Hill is totally normal and did absolutely nothing wrong :)

Pyramid Head boss fight was... something. I didn't get hit once because I stayed away the whole time and just shot at him.

The game is becoming less scary and more of a vibe, but the sound design still gets me spooked. I have trouble going around corners when I hear the radio freak out

I met Maria and all I have to say is..... huh.
"Don't I look like Mary" O.O

The escort isn't bad. Most enemies have attacked me first anyway instead of her, and a lot are becoming really easy since I've collected so many bullets.

Music for Bowl-O-Rama? Woke. Heaven's Night? Bespoke. Stayed there for longer because it's so damn good.

Oh shit James is a drunkard

Yes James chase that girl who seems to know more about you than yourself into that abandoned looking hospital. Surely nothing will go wrong.

Started

01

3h 41m

Finished

Gerudo stealth was boring, and I tanked most of the hits against the minibosses save for the one that's untankable which is uh.... interesting.
Kinda weird how Link has to restore the Gerudo liking men by showing his battle skills, what the fuck Nintendo
Horseback archery made me miss the 3DS port god some of the horseback controls were fucked on N64

I've gotten to the point where I have enough magic equipment that the Eye of Truth using magic makes sense, but it came so late, whereas in the Shadow Temple you use magic so infrequently it's just... there
I want to know if anybody who has played OoT has ever used Nayru's Love, and if so was it remotely worth it, because to me it seemed like filler

I think the Spirit Temple is pretty well designed, probably my 2nd fav dungeon of the game? I like its puzzles, it probably has the best puzzles of the entire game. It also doesn't use the past-future gimmick in as an annoying way as I expected it to be, but I'm also disappointed by what it wasn't
I wish some of the puzzles weren't so cheesable (one of the Anubis puzzles you can literally just shoot fire arrows, they should've made that not a thing)
The dungeon is also better paced than Forest Temple, since that one had more pacebreakers
The new enemies were also more interesting save for Iron Knuckle which is just a pleb filter
Twinrova is more waiting game.... but the dialogue at the end was hilarious. SOUL

Always a reminder that the Skulltulas are not worth collecting past 50, just ignore them at that point they're not worth it, being rich means nothing except being able to buy more Blue Potions

The Gerudo Training Grounds are neat challenges, but the aesthetic being so schizophrenic doesn't fit and it feels the most cobbled together of all the dungeons. I also never used the Ice Arrows

Ganon's Castle is aesthetically better... kinda. It's so drab and bleak on the base floor, and the puzzles themselves are really bleh and just ask for as much item usage as possible, as opposed to being challenging. I do love Ganon fucking killing the organ once you get past the base floor, though. The climb up is probably the best part because it's just setpieces
Ganondorf boss fight really showcases a thing synonymous with all of OoT: the sound design is really good. I love the crackle of getting hit by the ball, and all his moves. The fight itself is kind of a joke in terms of just being tennis fighting and shooting arrows, with the only challenge being from one mistake being SUFFERING...

Unless you got the defense upgrade, the most broken upgrade in all of the game and should've instead been an Easy Mode thing

Ganon fight is piss easy but I was soying out to the aesthetic, god the fucking lighting and him just towering over you, it was SO GOOD

The credits were really soulful too, I liked the credits a lot

Gerudo Valley music? Fucks. Spirit Temple music? Incredibly fitting. Ganon's Castle is also great, same with Ganondorf Battle and Last Battle. All great tunes.
End Credits is really damn good too

Finished

November, 2020

30

0h 45m

Shadow Temple is the walking definition of "man this dungeon's aesthetic is fucking on point, I wish it wasn't so shit to play"
I genuinely got scared by flying pots, the music is really nice, and all the enemies and obstacles fit the death style so much. I just wish the Lens of Truth having to be babysat to solve everything wasn't such a weak concept. Or that the dungeon itself by this point wasn't so piss easy up til maybe the boss. Or that it wasn't one of the most linear, and falling didn't have such annoying consequences. This is made particularly obvious on the linear aspect when they give the dungeon map and compass so quickly and without consequence.
I was half wrong about the Well dampening the enemies later, it didn't lower the spook factor.

The boss itself is a joke once you know what to do, even if it's artificially difficult by sheer damage. Completionists however will tank everything and be just fine. I do like the sound design and the aesthetic of the fight, though.

29

0h 56m

Sheik and Link really just got fucked by the Well monster and we have reason to believe we'll beat it later just by having one special eyeglass O.O

Windmill Hut's version of Song of Storms is really memorable, super easy to hum.

Frogs got BEEG. Timing for catching the bugs is kinda sus though

Bottom of the Well is tiny and boring save for Like Like stealing your shit and the spooky Dead Hand. A lot of the enemies are just a precursor to the Shadow Temple and I can't help but feel it'll lessen the impact of the dungeon proper. Other than that it's very non-threatening. Why do the Lens of Truth use a magic resource though? Does it really need to?

24

1h 11m

Water Temple honestly wasn't that bad. I think it's a great dungeon in terms of design and structure. The problem? The Iron Boots in N64 and the use of only 3 items with easy access hampers it so, so much. Jesus. It elongates the whole dungeon because 20% of the time you're looking at your menu while equipping different items since the dungeon asks for diverse item usage. And every 30 seconds is an iron boots pacebreaker menu.
But it has all these neat puzzles and asks you for map awareness! It's actually well designed! Dark Link fight is neat and the music for the dungeon is GOOD
The enemies are annoying in a good way imo, they ask you to be vigilant all the time.
Morpha was a joke outside of asking you for positioning. He does a ton of damage but at this point no matter your completion you can just tank it. And well... it's generous with jars.

23

1h 18m

Zora's Domain is such a nice tune. Too bad there wasn't much to do to make it worth its while as Adult Link

The Ice Cavern was incredibly boring with rote block pushing and enemies being ridiculously easy, but at least the aesthetic of it, like almost all the dungeons, is good!
Forcing you to abandon items just to bottle up fire is frustrating in a game that has never really asked you to manage resources, especially if you're someone who saves up good stuff in bottles.

Recalling that the N64 version of Iron Boots is an equip, not an item. I dread the N64 version of Water Temple next play session

The long trading sequence is a neat thing to get a big ass sword that does double damage, and it's not really obtuse because it almost always tells you where to go next to trade the items, unless you haven't really explored places I guess. The beginning of the quest is the only hard part with needing to awake Talon, and that part isn't timed.
That being said, if you fail, jesus. Start it all over again. That's kinda not fun. On original hardware, the trade quest without Magic Beans would be uh.... O.O
Now I have the BEEG sword though which makes all enemies irrelevant :D

22

1h 49m

Didn't know I had to reactivate Scarecrow's Song to actually get the benefits and ended up wasting a Magic Bean
At least I was able to backtrack and get that collectable I missed :D

The thing about the fishing minigame as Adult Link, in order to get the biggest fish, it's not about doing some weird fishing pole tilting shenanigans, at least in my experience. You just have to be really damn patient and wait for the fish to tire out.
I guess that'd be comfy if the music that played during fishing wasn't battle music on a catch lol
I don't feel up for catching the Hylian Loach and getting the Sinking Lure so I didn't bother

I'm glad I was named after a Goron for my BRAVE HEROIC FEATS but why did it have to be a complete pussy
Is the game making fun of me

I'm glad I played the OG game unpatched. Meant I could hear the OG Fire Temple in all of its glory. Amazing aesthetics.
Outside of aesthetics, Fire Temple the dungeon is OK. A lot of it is rescuing Gorons and the puzzles are always spelt out by said Gorons
A lot of locked doors are "look for the imprisoned Goron" scenario, and then those Gorons tells you how to do the next puzzle, or a puzzle far in the future.
They also tell you how to beat the boss -.-
There's also a lot of potential frustration with falling through the floor in a dungeon that structurally doesn't feel like it's on top of each other? It's kinda surprising to fall and every room is so closed off that there's barely any semblance of it being a tower temple until you get the map... or fall
Thankfully Farore's Wind exists to remove any falling through the ground frustration

I love how the hammer has barely any noise and feels like a toy... and yet it's more powerful than bombs

Volvagia is a joke that's only difficulty because he does massive amounts of damage for one mistake. Otherwise it's just whack a mole, sit near hole, run from rocks.
Cool name though

20

1h 20m

Forest Temple is a good dungeon!
The dungeon itself is a massive leap from the first two dungeons in terms of not being a linear walk. All the enemies are fine except Stalfos which really is just waiting for them to hit. All the other enemies at least have a cheat to make them drop their guard (you don't have to wait for green bubbles; a hookshot, arrow, or shield will stop it)
Like how you can technically still get the map if you're brave but you can use the bow for it later, there's a lot of different ways through Forest Temple, although not QUITE as much as future dungeons in the series.
100% completion of Forest Temple also asks for good map awareness which is fine by me.
Aesthetic and music is on point too. Forest Temple OST is just so.... it's good atmospheric music.

Died for the first time, but a fairy saved me. Timing with Phantom Ganon was way more forgiving in the 3DS version, so I got fucked in the N64 version I'm playing. You have to be way more on point.

Nintendo you can't fool me, Saria literally just friend zoned Link

Deku Tree Sprout scaring Link so much he makes the loudest fucking scream in the entire game is... SOUL?

Hunting for the Big Poes is a lot easier when you empty all your bottles so it only takes 4 trips, but that also involves going after the Big Poes in the first place and hoping to god your arrows hit and they pop up somewhere where they don't phase through the wall why does this side quest exist fuck this so much

A bottle as a reward.... yayyyy.........

16

0h 46m

Look what you've done Link
The world is fucked and it's all your fault
ReDeads don't scare me anymore, but this barren town? Jesus

Meanwhile, dealing with tank Epona controls to win her is funnnnnnnnnnn, but at least it makes traveling across Hyrule Field easier

I forgot to plant a Bean in the past and will have to miss out on a collectable I could've gotten earlier goddammit

N64 may have soul but 3DS version had a better Hookshot, just saying. I swear it was less finicky on where you could actually target the damn thing.

Like how Kakariko Village's Adult Link version just removes 2 instruments and suddenly sounds devoid of life. Kondo is a genius

15

0h 48m

Bruh Ganon tricked me into getting into the Sacred Realm
not poggers
And the only reason they beat me with a ball of light is because I didn't have a shield equipped, send tweet

Mad that the Rabbit Mask doesn't work for Link like in Majora's Mask, and yet it works for the Running Man. S M H

Temple of Time and Sheik's Theme are great tracks

14

1h 26m

Feeling my spirit leaving the earth as I go through boring field 100 times to get that one collectable I need because 100% in this game is for fools don't be me and I can only half-blame the game for how lousy it is that I had to start using speedhacks to go across fields quicker for my mental stability
a lot of my woes with the game are 100% things which shows that the proper way to play OoT is NOT to 100% it because there is nothing for you there and it just makes it more boring

Love how when you don't fully explore an area plot-wise, and you leave and come back, the owl spits the un-"B"-able dialogue like 5 times
love how Zora's Domain doesn't stay open and you need to do the lullaby EVERY SINGLE TIME till you get the Silver Scales and can take the shortcut

I actually think Jabu Jabu's Belly is a half-decent dungeon for starting to care about your visual memory and understanding of the dungeon, since things being blocked off are less switches and more parasites in specific places that block off other places that aren't visually shown to you, you have to remember it. Pathway is still tutorial-y and carrying Ruto around isn't that great, but at least the latter isn't die in 1 hit escort
Boomerang is nice if it wasn't just a better replacement for half your utility weapons and just too good at its job... while also having not great analog controls hahaha
other thing about Jabu, you can really tell the game is relying more on your visual memory because it takes half the dungeon until you can get the dungeon map and compass. That's a large step up for the player
miniboss is either tank the hit and throw boomerang or stun the boy and hope he shows his weak spot. Piss easy

I do like Barinade boss though, even if I'm probably just thinking of it in comparison to the really bad easy bosses before him. Barinade requires you to constantly be moving and positioning while it shoots lasers and using jellyfish to zone, it asks a lot more out of you. Outside of the first and final phase which are just move and throw, the other phases require more attention and focusing on jellyfish kills while watching your back. My only complaint is that Barinade doesn't dish much punishment at all in terms of damage, so there are little stakes.
They really should've upped his damage by a lot

At least Zora's Domain song is a vibe

13

1h 23m

No new songs to fuck with, outside of maybe Goron City. The rest of Death Mountain is my not aesthetic and I don't vibe to it. I'm getting really bored with the combat already and I've only played about 4 and a half hours now. The Lizalfos being a waiting game again doesn't help. The boss in Dodongo's Cavern was piss easy too.
That said, seeing Darunia vibe so hard to Saria's Song? SOUL
OOH YEAH THAT BEAT
THAT BEAT IS HOT

Dodongo's Cavern really does lock you to a straight shot throughout, just like the first dungeon things are cut off as you peruse so that there's only ever one way to go, and the "sights" through the journey are kinda boring. You can outrun all the laser enemies, and the baby dodongos aren't fun they're just annoying, asking you to shield for half a second. Navi was a help for one thing: kinda hard to figure out how to kill the statue until you learn you have to paralyze them from Navi. I guess you could also experiment through every item in your inventory, which at this point in the game isn't a lot to ask for.
But Dodongo's Cavern isn't a vibe, just Deku Tree but now a journey of annoyances >_<
Bruh Link fucking screamed at the Gorons, a hug can't be that bad... r-right?
Gotta love in the N64 version with the Skulltula behind a bombable wall there's seemingly no way to get the token except the wall is secretly climable without any information to show that.
I want to meme about the Great Fairies but tbh instead of being worried about your parents, don't be a coward. Be bold. Tell your parents you're enjoying peak entertainment. That'll show them.
The most fun I had today was Bomchu bowling, surprisingly. I find it very wide to figure out how to get around the obstacles.
LINK SPITS FIRE NOW

12

1h 32m

Lot of collection shit done that was very boring but I must be the completionist cue the theme song
I love the aesthetic of OoT and the music. Songs like Lon Lon Ranch, Kakariko Village, and Lost Woods are really nice, memorable tracks that do a great job evoking atmosphere. But so far that's all this game really has for me, the combat and everything is piss poor. Waiting for Poes and Wolves to be "open" is just a waiting game that I find annoying, and consistently going across Hyrule Field which is so BIG isn't expansive: it's boring.
Anyway POG I got the Heart Piece from the Graveyard minigame on the FIRST TRY! 1/15 chance! LET'S GO
There is some SOUL to the game. Gotta love how the Cucco Lady is allergic to her own birds. You got the prancing guy who doesn't like to do work. It's not heartless, just boring.
Wild how the 3DS removed something from the N64 I just noticed now: being able to re-use bugs. In the 3DS you're screwed, in the N64 you can use the same one over and over.... why did the 3DS version remove this?
I was going to complain about the "Find the special Cucco" minigame not showing which were the special ones clearly, but I now realized there's a cheat where you can throw the cuccos in one place before starting and making it much easier to find them.
Why did I have to be insulted for going to the bottom of a waterfall fuck you Gerudo
The Scarecrow can fucking dance man
The BEEG fish is annoying to catch but it is calming I guess, if you were just simmering around I'm sure it would be a better experience. But I have to schmoove
I got fairies in a bottle but $10 says I'll never die and use them, and thus won't have to apologize to Navi for cheating on her

11

0h 31m

l love waiting for nightfall.. and then daylight... and then nightfall :D
I know I'll get a song that mitigates it but time moves way too slowly, just as slow as the text for talking
Hyrule Main Theme fucks. Zelda's Theme fucks. Shooting Gallery music when you keep missing that one rupee because of joystick sensitivity? Doesn't fuck.
I DON'T BELIEVE YOU PRINCESS