Chromentur
BACKER
2012
Top 50 Favorites: #19 (2015 Zombi version)
Games I Like That Everybody Else Dislikes
Phenomenal zombie crusher with some of the most unique gimmicks I've ever seen in a horror game. Clearly a product not afraid to take risks, and it's all the more nuanced because of it - its atypical quirks which, at the time, were read as blemishes now seem like highly original and bold moves. This includes but is certainly not limited to its terrific use of setting, moving keenly from the grimy slums of post-apocalyptic England all the way up through Buckingham Palace and beyond (each level as excellently designed as the last). It's got great scares, devilishly fun combat, tons of definable setpieces, and - a must for any good horror game - backtracking that actually seems tense, strategic, and enjoyable. Can't sing the praises of this criminally under-respected curio enough. It's wonderful - plain and simple.
Games I Like That Everybody Else Dislikes
Phenomenal zombie crusher with some of the most unique gimmicks I've ever seen in a horror game. Clearly a product not afraid to take risks, and it's all the more nuanced because of it - its atypical quirks which, at the time, were read as blemishes now seem like highly original and bold moves. This includes but is certainly not limited to its terrific use of setting, moving keenly from the grimy slums of post-apocalyptic England all the way up through Buckingham Palace and beyond (each level as excellently designed as the last). It's got great scares, devilishly fun combat, tons of definable setpieces, and - a must for any good horror game - backtracking that actually seems tense, strategic, and enjoyable. Can't sing the praises of this criminally under-respected curio enough. It's wonderful - plain and simple.
2018
Top 50 Favorites: #12
The vibes are immaculate, best racing video game of all time. One of the few retro-inspired games that actually feels like it's trying to carve out its own unique legacy, as opposed to simply nostalgia-baiting and recycling genre tropes. Perfectly encapsulates that feeling of sticking your head out the window on a summer drive, feeling the breeze caress your face as you take in all the beautiful sights in front of you - nothing else existing outside of that moment. The gameplay loop is essentially just doing one thing, but you never want to stop doing that thing - not with such stupendous colors popping right off the screen (in many scenic interpretations of real-life locations). And boy is that soundtrack killer, or what? Controls are tight but not so tight that it's a cakewalk, this still relies on your skill and drive to succeed. Great with buddies, too. Saying this is truly something special would be an understatement - one of the most underrated games of the 20th century.
The vibes are immaculate, best racing video game of all time. One of the few retro-inspired games that actually feels like it's trying to carve out its own unique legacy, as opposed to simply nostalgia-baiting and recycling genre tropes. Perfectly encapsulates that feeling of sticking your head out the window on a summer drive, feeling the breeze caress your face as you take in all the beautiful sights in front of you - nothing else existing outside of that moment. The gameplay loop is essentially just doing one thing, but you never want to stop doing that thing - not with such stupendous colors popping right off the screen (in many scenic interpretations of real-life locations). And boy is that soundtrack killer, or what? Controls are tight but not so tight that it's a cakewalk, this still relies on your skill and drive to succeed. Great with buddies, too. Saying this is truly something special would be an understatement - one of the most underrated games of the 20th century.
2016
Sturdy but also Another One of These™. I'm almost totally burned out on these online live service games complete with seasons, microtransactions, grinding, trash skill-based matchmaking, and alienating "you had to be there for it" moments. Speaking strictly from a personal standpoint I just don't understand how someone can play this for more than three or maybe a generous four matches without getting bored. That being said, you just can't help but admire how this just keeps going strong (seemingly strongER) now going on SEVEN years since its release (eons, in games as a service terms) - and there's a reason for that. Look, I slightly prefer Evil Dead: The Game to this, but at least this one has a little thing called a playerbase... and devs who actually give a shit about putting in the content. The amount of horror licenses all in one place here is simply astonishing, pretty much every horror game online forum prior to this's dream come true - and I dig that it still has its very definitive art style even with all that. It's not bad, but after two matches I'm just going through the motions. Sorry, not really my type of thing.
Irresistible. Far and away the best of the three Saints Row: The Third mission DLC packs - a deliciously madcap addition to the base's hysteria, Professor Genki's Super Ethical Reality Climax was always a standout feature of its crazy iconography and this expansion concocts some very worthy inclusions to that legacy. You can control a giant yarnball that rolls over and squishes vehicles, skydive from rooftop to rooftop while tearing people to shreds with a chainsaw, roast pedestrians in a car with flamethrowers mounted onto the sides, and shoot through enemies in an Apocalypse Now-themed spin on the original Genki games. Plus you get Zach and Bobby's side-splitting commentary through the whole thing, probably at their funniest ever here. What's not to love?
Throwing everything at the wall. Truly bonkers piece of candy-coated pop mayhem. Like seriously we really need to be talking more about how batshit this game is. Packed to the brim with virtually every relic of the seventh-gen imaginable cranked up to 11 - including but not limited to a glitchy co-op mode, constant bullet hell, explosions, zombies, and bombastic protect/escort missions. I used to dislike games like this at the time, but looking back they're just so sinfully fun (I'm also a huge Resident Evil 6 apologist, for what that's worth). Has one of the most God-tier soundtracks in gaming history (It's My Life, Yonkers, Return of the Mack, 31 Seconds to Die, Power, Satisfaction, Machinehead, etc. etc.), attractive graphics, a wicked sense of humor (some sporadic cringe aside), missions that are a blast to play, an eclectic collection of freakish characters, and a fucking ripper array of weapons. AND with all the equally over-the-top DLCs? Come on dude, this is just awesome. In my opinion makes one very, VERY fatal flaw keeping it from elite greatness and that's killing off [REDACTED] in the second fucking mission. I have my reservations about this as a follow-up to Saints Row 2, but it also has a car with a giant mounted cannon that sucks in and shoots out pedestrians - so I'm more than happy with it. Wild.
2015
Top 50 Favorites: #16
Games I Like That Everybody Else Dislikes
Phenomenal zombie crusher with some of the most unique gimmicks I've ever seen in a horror game. Clearly a product not afraid to take risks, and it's all the more nuanced because of it - its atypical quirks which, at the time, were read as blemishes now seem like highly original and bold moves. This includes but is certainly not limited to its terrific use of setting, moving keenly from the grimy slums of post-apocalyptic England all the way up through Buckingham Palace and beyond (each level as excellently designed as the last). It's got great scares, devilishly fun combat, tons of definable setpieces, and - a must for any good horror game - backtracking that actually seems tense, strategic, and enjoyable. Can't sing the praises of this criminally under-respected curio enough. It's wonderful - plain and simple.
Games I Like That Everybody Else Dislikes
Phenomenal zombie crusher with some of the most unique gimmicks I've ever seen in a horror game. Clearly a product not afraid to take risks, and it's all the more nuanced because of it - its atypical quirks which, at the time, were read as blemishes now seem like highly original and bold moves. This includes but is certainly not limited to its terrific use of setting, moving keenly from the grimy slums of post-apocalyptic England all the way up through Buckingham Palace and beyond (each level as excellently designed as the last). It's got great scares, devilishly fun combat, tons of definable setpieces, and - a must for any good horror game - backtracking that actually seems tense, strategic, and enjoyable. Can't sing the praises of this criminally under-respected curio enough. It's wonderful - plain and simple.
1995
A fantastic game in its own right, and a technical marvel on the PS1 in just its first year of life: with awesome music, well-designed levels, superb graphics, good amount of challenge, and a formidable attention to detail. Totally wrote this off the first time I played it, but it needs to be stressed how impressive it is for gameplay this one-note to still be so fully gripping - I tackled map after map in this and never wanted to put it down. The PlayStation port is no question the victor, combing all the base maps from the original 3DO version in addition to a surfeit of levels from its later expansion Maps o' Death - adding into a sum of content that is just massive for its era. Plus you just gotta love the island setting here, and its macabre sense of humor. Could you imagine this thing with a level editor? Oh man, that'd be something to see.
Always found the superpowers here to be more fun than the ones in Saints Row IV - their rougher feel makes them seem more memorable, and definitely less repetitive since they're contained to this section and not used as padding to constantly fluff up the majority of the game (though it would have been nice to unlock them for limited-time uses outside of the DLC). Still crazy how this essentially stemmed from Volition/Deep Silver realizing their severe narrative mistake from the base game and trying sloppily (futilely?) to rectify it. But whatever, the Gat brute is pretty awesome (though on that note, where tf is Jimmy as a homie?) and this sufficiently expounds upon the base's weird, funny volatility.
Without a doubt the weakest of the three Saints Row: The Third mission DLCs, but still an excellent extension of the base game's penchant for gleeful, explosive nihilism excess - as well as a shockingly bang-on satire of franchise filmmaking right as Marvel started taking over the world. A couple of the jokes go on a little too long (and why tf don't we get to unlock those cool little laser pistols?) but otherwise it rules - always easy to pick up and enjoy this.
Throwing everything at the wall. Truly bonkers piece of candy-coated pop mayhem. Like seriously we really need to be talking more about how batshit this game is. Packed to the brim with virtually every relic of the seventh-gen imaginable cranked up to 11 - including but not limited to a glitchy co-op mode, constant bullet hell, explosions, zombies, and bombastic protect/escort missions. I used to dislike games like this at the time, but looking back they're just so sinfully fun (I'm also a huge Resident Evil 6 apologist, for what that's worth). Has one of the most God-tier soundtracks in gaming history (It's My Life, Yonkers, Return of the Mack, 31 Seconds to Die, Power, Satisfaction, Machinehead, etc. etc.), attractive graphics, a wicked sense of humor (some sporadic cringe aside), missions that are a blast to play, an eclectic collection of freakish characters, and a fucking ripper array of weapons. Come on dude, this is just awesome. In my opinion makes one very, VERY fatal flaw keeping it from elite greatness and that's killing off [REDACTED] in the second fucking mission. I have my reservations about this as a follow-up to Saints Row 2, but it also has a car with a giant mounted cannon that sucks in and shoots out pedestrians - so I'm more than happy with it. Wild.
1998
Games I Dislike That Everybody Else Likes
Holy shit. Outrageously, gobsmackingly bad - a shocking downgrade of every entry that came before it on the system (even including the unfinished build that can't get past the 2nd quarter). Let's get the only three positives out of the way now: the tackle animations look a bit better, the passing is the most responsive so far, and it's got the best intro movie up to this point. Otherwise this somehow manages to do everything way, way worse - the graphics in particular no joke unironically hurt my eyes: the fields look crappier and the characters all look like ass-ugly turds sporting T-1000 arms with less animations than previous games. The framerate is also unconscionably slow, even on menus (those are even so much inferior here, btw) - you'll have more eaten inputs than you can count on two hands, games run like molasses, and characters always flicker in and out of existence because the game can barely handle anything that's going on at any given second. You'll throw a ball to an invisible character who won't pop in until the last second which, for a football game where you're always passing to/receiving from/kicking to/dodging other players, makes this next to unplayable. Also the dash here looks like Fall Guys. Even setting the damn thing up is a cryptic, irritating chore. Sound sucks, too.
Holy shit. Outrageously, gobsmackingly bad - a shocking downgrade of every entry that came before it on the system (even including the unfinished build that can't get past the 2nd quarter). Let's get the only three positives out of the way now: the tackle animations look a bit better, the passing is the most responsive so far, and it's got the best intro movie up to this point. Otherwise this somehow manages to do everything way, way worse - the graphics in particular no joke unironically hurt my eyes: the fields look crappier and the characters all look like ass-ugly turds sporting T-1000 arms with less animations than previous games. The framerate is also unconscionably slow, even on menus (those are even so much inferior here, btw) - you'll have more eaten inputs than you can count on two hands, games run like molasses, and characters always flicker in and out of existence because the game can barely handle anything that's going on at any given second. You'll throw a ball to an invisible character who won't pop in until the last second which, for a football game where you're always passing to/receiving from/kicking to/dodging other players, makes this next to unplayable. Also the dash here looks like Fall Guys. Even setting the damn thing up is a cryptic, irritating chore. Sound sucks, too.
2011
Games I Like That Everybody Else Dislikes
Game = 3.5 stars.
"Who Do You Voodoo?" = 5 stars.
Objectively a far 'superior' game to Dead Island: Riptide, but I prefer the latter for how much more it serenades me with its shittiness. Though naturally this is still glitchy, ghastly, messy, and downright unfinished enough to be a fun laughing stock. Even on a second runthrough I still can't believe how much wasted potential this has - because I do truly believe there are nuance to the environments here, particularly the beautiful resort literally made to be pristine tourist eye candy turned into an abandoned wasteland of death and destruction. But of course they opt to do next to nothing with them except use them as mere window dressing for what I consider to be the tentpole of godawful pointless-fetch-quest open world non-storytelling which current blockbuster releases like Cyberpunk 2077 have all but fully digested. Rock-solid dumb fun, just play in moderation or your brain will turn to mush.
Game = 3.5 stars.
"Who Do You Voodoo?" = 5 stars.
Objectively a far 'superior' game to Dead Island: Riptide, but I prefer the latter for how much more it serenades me with its shittiness. Though naturally this is still glitchy, ghastly, messy, and downright unfinished enough to be a fun laughing stock. Even on a second runthrough I still can't believe how much wasted potential this has - because I do truly believe there are nuance to the environments here, particularly the beautiful resort literally made to be pristine tourist eye candy turned into an abandoned wasteland of death and destruction. But of course they opt to do next to nothing with them except use them as mere window dressing for what I consider to be the tentpole of godawful pointless-fetch-quest open world non-storytelling which current blockbuster releases like Cyberpunk 2077 have all but fully digested. Rock-solid dumb fun, just play in moderation or your brain will turn to mush.
1997
Games I Dislike That Everybody Else Likes
Graphically indistinguishable from Madden NFL 97, in fact I actually think this even looks a little worse. This is technically a better game as well, but only ever so slightly, in a way that doesn't really justify a full new release. It's a little tighter, the passing is slightly more responsive, UI is a bit cleaner, and there's this really cool feature where divots gradually build up in the field over time where big hits took place. But all of this feels like a patch as opposed to a standalone entry. And again, after a couple of these matchups I'm over it.
Graphically indistinguishable from Madden NFL 97, in fact I actually think this even looks a little worse. This is technically a better game as well, but only ever so slightly, in a way that doesn't really justify a full new release. It's a little tighter, the passing is slightly more responsive, UI is a bit cleaner, and there's this really cool feature where divots gradually build up in the field over time where big hits took place. But all of this feels like a patch as opposed to a standalone entry. And again, after a couple of these matchups I'm over it.
1996
Games I Dislike That Everybody Else Likes
They definitely learned their lesson from Madden NFL 96 - this just does every single thing better in a way that seems to want to publicly rectify that previous shortcoming (except the passing, which I swear is an insurmountable feat here). The graphics are tremendous for their day, in particular the snowy games - shown here with an honestly pretty beautiful visual flair. And also, you know, the thing's code doesn't shit itself every three or four minutes like that other one does. But with all that praise being sung, there's still just too much jank here overall to justify a passing grade. Not to mention - more importantly - that I have almost the exact same attitude towards these that I do with those online live service games - where a couple matches consecutively are fun but anything after that becomes wicked boring.
They definitely learned their lesson from Madden NFL 96 - this just does every single thing better in a way that seems to want to publicly rectify that previous shortcoming (except the passing, which I swear is an insurmountable feat here). The graphics are tremendous for their day, in particular the snowy games - shown here with an honestly pretty beautiful visual flair. And also, you know, the thing's code doesn't shit itself every three or four minutes like that other one does. But with all that praise being sung, there's still just too much jank here overall to justify a passing grade. Not to mention - more importantly - that I have almost the exact same attitude towards these that I do with those online live service games - where a couple matches consecutively are fun but anything after that becomes wicked boring.
TBD
FATAL ERROR
Obviously this is awful, it's literally an unfinished build and the fact that they wanted this out before Christmas is a laugh. Every game crashes exactly upon (or before) finishing the 2nd quarter, no matter the length - and the excruciatingly long pause this takes before any sort of play feels like the thing is about to violently brick your console. That being said, there's a lot of impressive features for its time here: the interactive weather system in particular, as well as the neat (but hella repetitive) 3D touchdown dances. Plus it's actually pretty diverting trying to avoid a critical error, it becomes a game in itself - the very specific sets of options one must do to keep this thing intact feels like diffusing a ticking bomb. The A.I. is also just ridiculously over-aggressive. Crazy to think that EA - the same company responsible for rushing out incomplete game after incomplete game - chose to quietly cancel this rather than shatting it out in time for the holiday shopping season.
Obviously this is awful, it's literally an unfinished build and the fact that they wanted this out before Christmas is a laugh. Every game crashes exactly upon (or before) finishing the 2nd quarter, no matter the length - and the excruciatingly long pause this takes before any sort of play feels like the thing is about to violently brick your console. That being said, there's a lot of impressive features for its time here: the interactive weather system in particular, as well as the neat (but hella repetitive) 3D touchdown dances. Plus it's actually pretty diverting trying to avoid a critical error, it becomes a game in itself - the very specific sets of options one must do to keep this thing intact feels like diffusing a ticking bomb. The A.I. is also just ridiculously over-aggressive. Crazy to think that EA - the same company responsible for rushing out incomplete game after incomplete game - chose to quietly cancel this rather than shatting it out in time for the holiday shopping season.