296 reviews liked by CloacaMaxima


The most fun I've had since S3 of Fortnite, but holy hell does it need better weekly updates. With seasons that last a very long time (3 months), a consistent flow of impactful updates is needed to keep the game fresh, yet all we get from Embark are new cosmetics and community challenges that barely scrape the surface. On top of that, longstanding issues such as Light class being competitively unviable, matchmaking being fucked and voice chat not working correctly have gone completely unaddressed. I want this game to succeed, I really do, but it's become clear that Embark doesn't know how to handle a live service model. I pray that something changes soon and that The Finals doesn't end up as yet another failed multiplayer project.

Laika: Aged Through Blood left quite the impression on me in the first few hours. The biking mechanic put into the Metroidvania genre seemed to work so well, and was a joy to mess around with. The controls are pretty tight and responsive, and I am generally a fan of the difficulty of the game. I was also very impressed by the map, which conveys the paths you should follow quite clearly, unlike many other games I have played in the past. The art of the game is top-notch as well, and fits the atmosphere the game tries to portray neatly.

Sadly, Laika also has some unfortunate design choices that make the game feel much less like a Metroidvania than I initially thought. Normally, a well-designed Metroidvania allows you to roam freely through a world packed with secrets and lore, while occasionally blocking your way with an obstacle that you are not yet able to overcome. Once you have stumbled upon the right abilities or tools to traverse said obstacle, you can revisit the place at your own leasure. Every area you visit and everything you do should feel rewarding, which makes the Metroidvania so exciting to play. You're exploring a vast world, filled to the brim with interesting bits and pieces to put its history together.

However, Laika does not do this. The main story quest revolves around gathering items and talking to NPC's to advance, which makes the entire game feel like one giant fetchquest. Sidequests reward you with mostly useless crafting materials (not even currency), and the only thing you have to do in between gameplay segments is teleport from one place to the other to continue said quests. There are no secrets to uncover, only collectables to gather, which makes the entire game feel bland outside of biking around and doing flips to reload your ammo. And apart from the occasional inventory description or background art, I could barely discern any significant lore about the world from regular filler content.

Now, this would not be a big problem if the main NPC-driven quest was unique and interesting to follow, but I found this to be quite the opposite as well. For a game about heavy topics, which are actually warned about in the opening screen, the story is quite devoid of build-up and emotion in my opinion. Connecting to characters is difficult because of cringy one-liners (characters saying "Hilarious!", "Fuck.", and "Wanker" after every single line of dialogue), and the conversations you have rarely deviate from the main topic of "killing the birds" and the curse your family has been saddled with. You spend no quality time or meaningful moments with NPC's at all, not even your daughter Puppy, leaving out the possibility of connecting to a character like you would to a friend or family member.

But not only the story and main quest were disappointing to me in the end. For one, returning to parts of the world I had already completed felt utterly empty and uninteresting due to long flat roads and same-y enemy designs and positioning. Additionally, the crafting system is way overblown and requires you to revisit places multiple times to gather ingredients and currency. In total, you need about 25 to 30 thousand viscera (the "money" of the game) to buy every item and upgrade, half of which are useless compared to your starting revolver, which somehow has better accuracy than the sniper rifle does.

On top of that - and this is my personal opinion - the ost with lyrics are unbearable. I actually rather turned the music off than keep it on. It felt like such a waste, because the ost outside of the lyrical songs fit the game perfectly fine. Please videogame developers, don't put lyrics into your OST unless it means something.

I find it such a shame that an entirely unique concept with fun mechanics are overshadowed by poor decisions on the design of this game. I would have loved if Laika chose to hold close to the Metroidvania genre by making the world feel mysterious and worthwile to explore, but sadly I cannot say that it accomplished this. I had an okay time with this game in the end, mainly through satisfying motorcycle gameplay you would find in a 2000 or so line-rider game.

Best Need for Speed game for current-gen. The fact that this was the first NFS game to break the annual release did the game wonders, but EA's lack of support left us players wanting more. Microtransactions and the slot machine part upgrade system from Payback are gone. Just good old fashioned win races to earn money to upgrade cars and buy cars.

Heat's biggest gimmick is the Day/Night system. Set in a fictional version of Miami, Florida, the daytime has you compete in street legal (mostly closed circuit, track races) to earn money for upgrading parts and buying new vehicles. Nighttime has you compete in illegal street races (non-closed track like Underground) to earn REP for leveling up and unlocking better car parts. You can switch between day or night at any time (when not in a race) for your enjoyment.

Cops are relentless and can be a real pain if you don't have a well upgraded car. It can be annoying as when you earn REP from races, you must drive to a safehouse at night to "bank" your points. Get busted by the cops and it's all gone.

The day/night system is wrapped around a story centered around street racing and police corruption. It's standard, but quite interesting and has its moments.

Plenty of activities exist from stunt jumps, speed traps, drift trials and time trials to name a few.

Great Need for Speed game, and probably the best of the current-gen bunch, that deserved more recognition, love and attention.

Palia

2023

At least it was free to try, but it wasn't...fun.

Palia

2023

I’m not much into farming sims, but I had heard a bunch of former Blizzard devs make up a big chunk of the team that worked on it, and I’ve been craving a game that really invests in the community the way theirs used to, plus it’s free so no harm in trying. My biggest disappointment is how downplayed that community aspect is, there really isn’t a whole lot to do here with other players, labeling this an MMO feels like an afterthought. The Switch version is also very rough with crude graphics, frame drops, and your character sliding around like they’re figure skating. Tempering my score is A) the fact that it’s technically still in Beta on this system, and B) an acknowledgement of a certain level of “it’s not for me.” There are aspects of quality here, but in terms of what I expected from this game, I have to say I’m a bit disappointed.

Palia

2023

Pretty bare bones and also pretty boring. It's not really the MMO that they claim it to be. Like sure, there's players who are running around the map alongside you that you can talk to, but there's no activities or questlines that you can do with them. The social interactions only go as far as an /all chat that rarely gets used aside from pointing out where special trees are that require multiple people to chop down. You can group up with players for a more private chat, but there's a limit of like 4? I think, and even then, there's just nothing to do with them aside from maybe fishing next to each other in the same pond.

I suppose the main draw for the typical person who would pog at a game like this would be the house building and NPC relationship building, but neither of those are enjoyable in this game to be honest. Once you get past the initial tutorial, you find out pretty quickly that not only do you have to craft ingredients into more ingredients, you also have to wait for those ingredients to be made. Something like 2 or so minutes in real time per plank of wood or stone? Which gets even more time consuming with other ingredients. Some items require a plethora of that shit to make too, so the game basically runs on mobile game time mechanics to achieve any progress. It makes the game extremely grindy for living room furniture. No thank you. Since this is a free game, it honestly wouldn't surprise me if they introduce monetized boosters for that crap down the line, if they haven't already.

I also found it weird that each server runs on it's own timer as well, where all the NPCs go to bed with their own sleep schedules like it's Animal Crossing or something. So often times you need to finish a questline with someone and you can't because it's 12:00 AM and they don't wake up until it's noon. The NPCs themselves aren't really that interesting either to begin with anyways. You can date almost all of them for some reason so it's kind of like literally every player is just dating all 12 of your partners too.

Yeah, it's just kind of a really lackluster amalgamation of other farm games with really tedious mechanics blocking you from achieving any real progress within a reasonable amount of time. Once I got to the actual aspect of building my own house and crafting the furniture, I fell asleep pretty quickly. Calling this an MMO is a bit of a stretch. Sure, all MMO's have a grindy aspect to them, but they also have a major social draw to them as well that balances that out. I'm sure since it's another live-service game it'll have things added to it later but I'm not particularly interested in finding out.

I was expecting to enjoy this game for a bit of fun, but it ended up being one of my favorites of all time.

Pros:
- Puzzles are fun and challenging.
- Graphics are good and the worlds are very pretty to look at.
- Philosophical elements of the narrative are very well-integrated to the rest of the game and the story.
- Voice acting (where it exists) is solid.
- Story is very unique and unforgettable.
- Soundtrack is beautiful and relaxing.

Cons:
- Some of the puzzles are a little too challenging. But that's all part of the fun!

If you like puzzle games, particularly those similar to Portal and Portal 2, this game is an absolute must-play.

Old and interestingly.... janky. But I liked it when I had nothing better.

Squad

2020

The immersion levels on this bitch are so intense and epic mode, firefights feel hectic and dangerous, the adrenaline rushes and funny moments with the voice chat, make this game such a blast... at times.

The downside is that this game is not very user friendly and getting into a server that is decent, with all your friends to then be in an engaging squad that doesn't take everything too seriously, is a rarity. Also, these games last like 2 HOURS SOMETIMES! Ain't nobody got time for dat.

But yeah, fun for what it is, had some great times. Just a bit meandering and time consuming when it wants to be.