"If the Earth gets hit by an asteroid, it's game over."

Drifting through the nothingness that is space, your ship must at all costs avoid the hurdles before it. Gargantuan-sized rock clusters with enough force and impact to shatter your very being. As counterintuitive, and dangerous as it might seem, your only true line of defense in this perilous situation? Blow the obstacles out of your way and navigate around the shards with precision, and deft flight. The absolute plight of constant danger and your very life in the balance is what pushes you forward. A simple task, sure it is, yet you are more than aware that if you fail, everything you have ever known could come to a stop. Asteroids are the greatest thrill you've ever known, even in the face of death itself. How you handle this task, and the subsequent success of it, all of it rests on your skill and determination to stay focused on the task at hand. It may not seem as lofty or great as things you've seen others do, but this is your job, and god damn it, you are gonna blast some rocks away.

We hereby award: The Bronze Seal of Recognition

"Knowledge of the past and of the places of the earth is the ornament and food of the mind of man."

While you may be inclined to thing the star of the show is the absolute slugfest you are forced to partake in, you would be forgiven to not know the truth. The planes of Da Vinci are the reason the justify entry alone, for their invigorating dash of creativity atop an already impressive sequel. The slapdash murderfest? Ah that's just a cherry for those who are filled with bloodlust and an need to satisfy their erection of dominance of artificial intelligence. It's all about those planes man!

No seal awarded

"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication."

A small set of DLC missions looking for your old friend Da Vinci. He has gone missing, and your investigation is the only way to decipher his whereabouts. The problem here? The majority of your journey is filled with short and unremarkable quests. Flat characters at the center of a mystery that you just want answers to. The saving grace here is the varied gameplay through the questline, and the strong conclusion filled with thoughtful puzzles and a nice pay off for it all. Certainly not a DLC that you will be raving about to your friends at the club on Saturday Evening, but it is a nice extension to a solid game.

No seal awarded

“Should anything happen to me, should my skills fail me, or my ambition lead me astray, do not seek retribution or revenge in my remembrance, but continue to help others, so that all may benefit.”

When in Rome, do as the Romans do. I guess Assassin's Creed to that to heart when thinking about the Roman Empire, and it's eventual demise. For me, this is where the series last interested me. Oddly enough, a massive peak from the original game to its successor, and then we get to Brotherhood. In many ways, this feels like Uncharted Lost Legacy or Miles Morales. A continuation, that was a little too large to be a DLC, so instead, a game was made out of it. Because of this, Brotherhood feels lacking in key areas of innovation, and rather just continues the story of Ezio. The only city everyone felt was sorely lacking in the AC2 was Rome, so this time around we get a game built all around it. Instead of a massive scope of a country, the inner workings and depth of a single location. Where it doesn't deliver exciting new content from a mechanical aspect, the growth of our protagonist and the creation of your very own assassin's guild is thoroughly captivating. Rome is large, mysterious, and historically rich to explore, yet you want more, and more you never get. Brotherhood is the finest example of a safe sequel there is, and plays things by the book for the most part. It doesn't reinvent the formula, push it greatly forward, nor yank it back by the chain. A nod must be made though to the most possibly underrated online experience I've ever had in my life. The conceptualization of hunting other assassins in a playground of death as they hunt you, honestly should be a holdover for the series to this day, alas it was buried here though, alongside my interest in future installments in this trite annualized franchise.

We hereby award: The Bronze Seal of Recognition

"Wanting Something Does Not Give You The Right To Have It."

The toils of their work now bear the most succulent of fruit. AC2 is the progression so heavily desired, and the backbone on which a franchise was truly born. With the inclusion of an everyman transforming into the fear of the corrupted world, AC2 solidified a most magnanimous future for us all. The scale of the world, the gameplay modifications, the heroically tragic lead. The joys of being the assassin of our dreams was now reality, and my goodness did it feel good. Ezio Auditore Firenze charmed his way into our hearts with his gallant behavior and badassery skill. Capturing a magic, all too addicting for a gamer to resist. Roaming through the streets, rooftops, and alleys of a gorgeously detailed Italy, you were the most dangerous man in the world, and you damn well knew it. From Venice to Florence and beyond, you were in the process of creating a legend. Instead of an established warrior of renown, you were just a man, looking for how to right this world of wrongs. A vibrant world come to life from the past, you were making history while living it. All this game needed to do was add the plaster to fill in the cracks to show what could be. Instead, it built a city, and said, "Are you not entertained!?". A dynasty would spring from what was done so right. The impact, passion, and evolution of what would be one of the most defining franchises in the past 15 years, it owes it to here. To Ezio, to Italy, to caring about improvement.

We hereby award: The Silver Seal of Merit

"“Nothing is real.; Everything is permitted.”"

The 7th console generation is in many ways one of the most impactful in gaming history. A common trend during this period was to see rough around the edges types of products that were teeming with the potential to improve. The original Assassin's Creed is a pitch-perfect example of this, similar to other titles like Mass Effect, Uncharted, and Gears of War. A fascinating hook, that had shaky framework. If they could firmly establish a proper evolution upon that, then special things could indeed happen. The premise of the Assassin's world, the future tied to it, and the gameplay loop of being hidden in plain sight? All of it whets the brain's appetite to become some sort of stalking murderous beast, unstoppable in its craft, as it takes down whatever prey it chooses. The main issue here? The original game is filled with tedious missions, enemy combatants, and never quite clicks the way you feel like it could. The rich historical settings mixed with the mysterious futuristic world, all of it combines for intrigue out the ass. You want it to work, you know it can work, but why doesn't it? If they could make Altair engrossing, or touch up the soulless design into something inspired, then we would be talking! On the bright side, it only took them until their next try to figure out all the kinks.

No seal awarded

"I like what I like."

Ever since around the advent of its massive popularity surge about a decade ago, I've been an avid fan of content produced on Youtube. At the time of the production of this visual novel, I was largely invested in the whole of both Normal Boots and Hidden Block. The personalities of the content creators behind them were many of my favorites on the entire platform. As the years have passed on with trepidation over the countless accounts of problematic celebrities, I had to accept some people within this game fell into the same categorization. That has caused a significant sting to the ability to both enjoy, or ever go back to Asagao. That being said, some of my favorites are still present to this day in my watching habits. So, while many of these people no longer produce the same content they once did, or have tarnished their reputation through incredulous behavior, I have something to hold onto. At the end of the day, this was charming, full of fanservice, lots of heart, plenty of humor, and I could be eternal rivals with Brutalmoose. Not everything ages well, but hey, I can recall the days when this was bliss.

No seal awarded

"Something Beautiful is Going to Happen."

For only the second time in my life, I had the profound experience of being a Moralistic Honorable Doomsday Superstar Art Cop. An incredible sense of awe washed over me, being able to see myself in the gaming medium. Pure skepticism would seep out of the brains of most when hearing this sort of tale. Not I though, I know thy self. Disco Elysium is a homage to the days of pen and papers role-playing. In this complex gritty story, you are an officer of the law, no longer familiar with themselves, and it is up to you to solve a grotesque hanging. Was it a homicide, murder, or something even far more abstract that one couldn't simply describe in a few solemn words? What kind of person do you want to be? Committed to the bottle, deliriously afraid of the apocalypse, or possibly just plain, boring, and mundane? The mystery of the rotting hanged man and the mystery of yourself are all one and the same. You craft a path of a deeply personalized journey as you come to know the denizens of Revachol, delightfully flawed people, all living their lives amongst this tide of death. As rich as the sweetest pie, the writing will whisk you away unto profoundly intriguing conversation. What you make of this case, the people surrounding it, and your adventure, well....those are solely in your hands. Just like life, things can be unexpected, but when you dig in your heels, lift up your head, and try to be the person you want to be, amazing things can happen. So, I ask you, what kind of cop do you want to be?

We hereby award: The Purple Seal of Honor

"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane."

BRICK BREAKU!!! SMAAAASH! A tale as old as time, that it is. You see, while you were a babe suckling on your mother's teet, the men and women of this world were hard at work. BREAKING. GOD. DAMN. BRICKS! It's a classic for a reason, you see. The most fantastic thing about the world of Arcade games is the innate duality between the relationship of complexity versus simplicity. These were games made to be played. enjoyed, and taking quarters by the dozens with their easy to pick up controls, yet insanely difficult challenge ceilings. I have always appreciated that, and one of the best of the time period was none other than Arkanoid. Ball comes down, you bump it up to destroy the spaces above you and rinse repeat as you battle against the inevitable demise of your lives by missing your fallen circular comrade. Whilst not my favorite of the arcade classics, I would be remiss if I didn't at least acknowledge the gushing flow of fun that Arkanoid is able to make with its basic ass modus operandi. That's bliss my friend, that is just sweet sugary bliss, sans the diabetes.

We hereby award : Bronze Seal of Recognition

“One of the great gifts of the arcade was the way it put us all on the same level.”

This is merely a compilation of classic games from the bygone era of the Arcade cabinet. The truly despicable sight of it all though? None of them are superior to their original version, and so this slapdash effort of a celebration doesn't warrant a purchase, play, or even existing. That's right I said it! I say we go back in our time machine and delete it from ever even happening! You are saying that would be paradoxical? That by doing so, this very review wouldn't exist, and the very foundation of our space-time continuum could be altered? Well in that case.....I SAY I AM THE LAW....DO IT RIGHT NOW YOU COWARD AND SAVE US ALL THE HASSLE!

No Seal Awarded.

"Things sometimes feel dark, child, but there is always light somewhere to be found."

As I grow older a simple temptation calls out to be in the night, stirring my very existence. To discover something new that harkens back to the days of old. Many a video game exist in this age, and many of them clearly inspired by the works that drove those developers into the industry in the first place. It is a shame though, how often, they fail to capture the same magic of what they were bewitched by. Ara Fell is a success story out of the mass of forgettable indie titles trying to be the next Earthbound or Chrono Trigger. It holds steadfast by keeping itself straightforward, with a dash of flair. You have elements like magic, vampires, a floating world, and hundreds-year-old mysteries as classic motifs to recognize and easily comprehend. This game doesn't try to reinvent metanarratives, RPGs, or anything as grandiose as that. It's just a simple tale of a girl named Lita who gets caught up in something far bigger and greater than she could have ever imagined she would. You have 4 party members, each with specific classes, who all aid in ways necessary to prevail against the mightiest foes. Through them, a take turn battle system, and your wit you shall persevere to see the end of these mysteries before you! Everything manages to come together to make a complete narrative experience, and on the hardest mode, you get properly challenged to explore the full depth of the battle system. It's not overly taxing, but it is constantly rewarding and more importantly enjoyable. I went in wanting a small indie adventure that was an RPG and left finding one of the best little hidden gems I've played in the past few years. The game is rough around the edges in production value(art, music, scale), but when the credits began to roll, I could only feel immeasurable satisfaction by the journey.

We hereby award: The Silver Seal of Merit

""She's baaaaack"

Another Code returns, yet outside of my country of region! Thanks for that Nintendo! We are back with good ole Ashley Robbins, and on another Scooby adventure of mystery! This time around we have a lot less thoughtful puzzles and more dialogue though. And while some of this certainly makes the game's pace slower than necessary there are some genuine highlights to be had. Seeing the growth and maturity that has blossomed through Ashley is by far the greatest amongst those. From slightly cheeky tween to mellow lonely teen, Ashley is no longer the same girl we knew from before. She is far more pensive, and the shapes of her dreams and desires take a front-seat role this time around. I would easily say the puzzles and story are weaker this time around, but the colorful cast and delightful evolution of Ashley make the playthrough worthwhile regardless. It's a slower and longer game more focused on people, their interactions, and Ashley as a person. If you enjoyed the first game, this is a definite for fans, or if you just love Ashley as much as I do, that is a selling point as well. A shame this is the end of her journey, as I felt it was just getting started to even greater and more endearing possibilities. Either way, this is a little adventure gem I don't regret modding my wii just to play.

We hereby award: The Bronze Seal of Recognition

"Sometimes the closer you are to someone....the more it hurts."

If anything, the DS library is filled with unique bite-sized experiences to whet the palette for someone such as myself. Trace Memory is a point-and-click adventure game that follows a young girl named Ashley Robbins. Her goal is simple enough to follow. She is looking into a mystery revolved around her missing parents and hopes to find clarity on the island where the game takes place. Through exploration, and a number of environmental puzzles solved through inventory management you will progress steadily towards the conclusion. It is a short, yet charming time that gets most of its strongest value out of the protagonist herself. The puzzles are satisfying enough to itch your brain, and the mystery itself has some fun turns, but Ashley is the best thing it has going for it. She is sassy, smart, inquisitive, and most importantly relatable. A far too common fallacy with many writers is squandering their character potential because they just don't understand the person they are trying to create. This is what makes Ashley so fantastically engaging, and by far the heart of not only this game but the sequel. There aren't a lot of other characters present, and with a short run time, if you don't nail what you put on the table, well it is going to stand out terribly. Ashley brings the most worthwhile content present, and she would be my number one reason to recommend this to any newcomers. Oh, and the puzzles are fun enough with the DS gimmicks as well if that matters to you at all.

We hereby award: The Bronze Seal of Recognition

"Anime was a mistake."

Simply put, I love anime, and have always considered the music attached a massively important factor in the total experience it creates for me. I've always especially found myself watching the opening and ending theme for each and every episode as to further enrich, and personalize my time with it. So, to my absolute delight, when I discovered a game built on guessing and figuring out those songs in a quiz-based format, I was massively interested. This has become a regular evening event between me and my partner. The laughs of odd songs we don't recall, the triumphs of guessing something with the mightiest guess, the absolute despair of being beaten down by ending themes all sounding the same, AMQ gives and taketh away all at once. It may have busted servers, a frustratingly designed avatar system, and far too many restrictions towards other regions animation(Korea and China for example), but it is still near and dear to my heart for what it gives me. A consistently fun, and digestible way to reexperience the music from the anime of my life. C'est tres beau!

We hereby award: The Bronze Seal of Recognition

"Is the thing you are thinking of...."

A favorite of mine as a child, while I was rumbling away in my car seat on vacation, was the classic game of Twenty Questions. You could up with a topic, and the person tries to guess that within the question amount. My favorite was always focused far more upon narrow topics like Harry Potter or Dragon Ball, but I always appreciated the derivative of it all. Enter Akinator, a game built on the framework of Twenty Questions, powered by an artificial intelligence. The original game always had a charm of the possibility of stumping your would-be challenger with something seemingly simple despite them not being able to think of it. Akinator is a whole other beast. If you don't think of something hyper difficult or obscure, you will not stump the beast. It is built with a database of compiled information that makes winning nigh impossible without being clever or truly dastardly. That being the case, this is a fun time-waster for an occasional hour or so, but it lacks the colorful human interaction from the normal game, and the satisfaction of winning with something easy to guess but hard to recall.

No Seal Awarded