Fat_Manchild
2019
Normally, I utterly fucking despise roguelites. Doing run after run of the same thing, just with a minor buff or unlock for your next attempt being the reward at the end, is the most mind-numbingly monotonous way to drip-feed content and dopamine to a player. It is an insult to the very medium. And this game doesn't change my stance on that. However, I found myself acclimating to the gameplay loop of Nightmare Reaper a lot more comfortably than I thought I would, to the point that I was so used to it at the halfway point that I kind of wanted it to be over already.
Now, let me be clear that that is absolutely not to say that this is a dry well, far from it. Nightmare Reaper has to have one of the most extensive catalogues of overpowering and ostentatious tools of destruction that a man can lay his hands on. If you can think of it, there's a high chance the game has it. Saws, blades, nukes, black holes, and every caliber in the American alphabet are all on the table when it comes to turning sprite-based monsters into a fine, red mist. Well, as fine as spritework can get, anyway. And there's even mod support, so you should be able to find whatever you're looking for if it's somehow not in the vanilla selection.
I also appreciate a lot of the little QoL quirks about the game, like the fact that there's no dumb credits or anything at the start of the game - you just find the game in your library, hit play and: Poof! You're in the psych ward faster than an Ultrakill player. You also use a totally-not-a-Nintendo-GameBoy™️ as your pause menu, where you can change the actual colour of the not-GameBoy™️ itself, fiddle with a surprising amount of game options, change your weapon loadout, and access your skill trees to buy upgrades in the form of minigames, including a 2d sidescroller, a totally-not-Pokemon™️-clone, and a space shoot-em-up. I do wish the minigames had a little more meat to them, but more time being spent on it would ultimately detract from the maingame, so it's understandable.
Obviously, it being a boomshoot made within the past 5 years means it will have a handful of problems, unfortunately. Even with all the fancy movement options the game gives you, such as up to three jumps, rocket jumping, knockback jumping, and even a grappling hook, the basic game plan is always going to consist of two words: circle-strafe. And since the weapon selection is such a clear highlight, and with it being a roguelite, it's obviously going to suffer in a lot of the other areas, such as the general art direction and layout of the environments, seeing as most of them are going to be randomised, with a few mid-to-late-game exceptions.
Speaking of the art direction and environments, have fun spending 25% of the time killing shit, and other 75% looking for secrets, such as the exact same black crack pattern on a dark-coloured cobblestone tile, or a C4 charge hidden underneath a shallow body of water that you could've sworn you walked right over like five times. And since it's an indie game, I hope you're looking forward to hearing a healthy helping of Gianni.
The music, unfortunately, isn't really anything to write home about either. A serious reliance on samey chugging riffs make for a perfectly listenable, but uninteresting and repetitive listening experience. Not unfitting of a game in the roguelite genre, but honestly a bit depressing, seeing as it came from Andrew fucking Hulshult, which came as a shock to me, seeing the wasted potential a game like this had to have a soundtrack that could make my cock hard enough to cut glass, as seen in other projects he was a part of, namely DUSK. There's also only 14 different tracks in the entire game, so just how often you're going to be hearing the same track also plays a big part of it. Still, it's not irredeemable.
All in all, there's a lot to love about Nightmare Reaper. It clearly has a lot of ideas, and was a serious passion project, seeing the absurd variety of weapons on display, for one, and while it's not exactly going to be winning any awards for peak BoomShoot design, much less anything else I've covered so far, it's incredibly inspired and can be an absolute treat to play.
Now, let me be clear that that is absolutely not to say that this is a dry well, far from it. Nightmare Reaper has to have one of the most extensive catalogues of overpowering and ostentatious tools of destruction that a man can lay his hands on. If you can think of it, there's a high chance the game has it. Saws, blades, nukes, black holes, and every caliber in the American alphabet are all on the table when it comes to turning sprite-based monsters into a fine, red mist. Well, as fine as spritework can get, anyway. And there's even mod support, so you should be able to find whatever you're looking for if it's somehow not in the vanilla selection.
I also appreciate a lot of the little QoL quirks about the game, like the fact that there's no dumb credits or anything at the start of the game - you just find the game in your library, hit play and: Poof! You're in the psych ward faster than an Ultrakill player. You also use a totally-not-a-Nintendo-GameBoy™️ as your pause menu, where you can change the actual colour of the not-GameBoy™️ itself, fiddle with a surprising amount of game options, change your weapon loadout, and access your skill trees to buy upgrades in the form of minigames, including a 2d sidescroller, a totally-not-Pokemon™️-clone, and a space shoot-em-up. I do wish the minigames had a little more meat to them, but more time being spent on it would ultimately detract from the maingame, so it's understandable.
Obviously, it being a boomshoot made within the past 5 years means it will have a handful of problems, unfortunately. Even with all the fancy movement options the game gives you, such as up to three jumps, rocket jumping, knockback jumping, and even a grappling hook, the basic game plan is always going to consist of two words: circle-strafe. And since the weapon selection is such a clear highlight, and with it being a roguelite, it's obviously going to suffer in a lot of the other areas, such as the general art direction and layout of the environments, seeing as most of them are going to be randomised, with a few mid-to-late-game exceptions.
Speaking of the art direction and environments, have fun spending 25% of the time killing shit, and other 75% looking for secrets, such as the exact same black crack pattern on a dark-coloured cobblestone tile, or a C4 charge hidden underneath a shallow body of water that you could've sworn you walked right over like five times. And since it's an indie game, I hope you're looking forward to hearing a healthy helping of Gianni.
The music, unfortunately, isn't really anything to write home about either. A serious reliance on samey chugging riffs make for a perfectly listenable, but uninteresting and repetitive listening experience. Not unfitting of a game in the roguelite genre, but honestly a bit depressing, seeing as it came from Andrew fucking Hulshult, which came as a shock to me, seeing the wasted potential a game like this had to have a soundtrack that could make my cock hard enough to cut glass, as seen in other projects he was a part of, namely DUSK. There's also only 14 different tracks in the entire game, so just how often you're going to be hearing the same track also plays a big part of it. Still, it's not irredeemable.
All in all, there's a lot to love about Nightmare Reaper. It clearly has a lot of ideas, and was a serious passion project, seeing the absurd variety of weapons on display, for one, and while it's not exactly going to be winning any awards for peak BoomShoot design, much less anything else I've covered so far, it's incredibly inspired and can be an absolute treat to play.
I originally heard about Dark Messiah through a personal recommendation from a buddy of mine, when we were talking about cool wizard games, with complex casting systems that make you really feel like you're mastering a school of magic. The only other games I can think of with magic systems that are actually interesting and have any modicum of depth to them would be Noita and Magicka, and loathe as I am to admit it, that club isn't getting any new members after my playthrough of this game. However, that's not to say the game doesn't have any tricks up it's sleeve.
A joke I heard once about the game that I keep unashamedly regurgitating, mainly due to how it perfectly encapsulates the gameplay loop, is that you DON'T play Dark Messiah like you're trying to larp as Gandalf, blasting giant spiders with fireballs and making orcs feel the wrath of God with a lightning bolt or two. Instead, you play it like you're Macaulay Culkin, using your admittedly limited arsenal of spells, combined with your quick wit and the sacred jank of the source engine, to lure unsuspecting necromancers into physics-based death traps. Crushing them under crates suspended above a flimsy wooden ceiling, freezing the floor by a big drop and watching them slide to their death, spartan kicking a goblin into a spike trap, or even just slamming a chair over their head to throw them to the floor, lining them up for an easy finisher.
As fun as it can be to kill fantasy monsters with unorthodox, slapstick methods, though, the game unfortunately doesn't have a lot going for it besides all that. The combat, especially outside of the magic system, is extremely bare-bones and you'll get tired of trying to win fights fairly really quick. There's also not much to speak of in terms of presentation or plot, other than the typical rpg schlock of "hurr le ancient prophesy durr your dad is the devil lmao durr" and all the funny looks you'll be getting from people that comes with that territory. At least you get a hot demon lady living in your head for the trouble, but I wish she'd stop coming on so strong. I know you want me, Xana, but now is not the time. Everything else, the characters, voice acting, world, music, monster designs, it's all servicable-for-rpg-standards at best and downright comical at worst. Though, I suppose that does compliment the already comical nature of the game.
All in all, however, in spite of it's flaws as a holistic gameplay experience and having quite possibly the least mechanical depth out of any Arkane game pre-Deathloop (most likely due to interference from Ubisoft), the beauty of sourcejank combined with the cartoonish nature of the combat encounters make for a unique gameplay experience I have yet to see repeated or improved upon, especially within the boundaries of a toolset provided to you by a fantasy world. Dark Messiah isn't going to blow you away, but you're sure as hell gonna blow those orcs away. Right off a cliff.
A joke I heard once about the game that I keep unashamedly regurgitating, mainly due to how it perfectly encapsulates the gameplay loop, is that you DON'T play Dark Messiah like you're trying to larp as Gandalf, blasting giant spiders with fireballs and making orcs feel the wrath of God with a lightning bolt or two. Instead, you play it like you're Macaulay Culkin, using your admittedly limited arsenal of spells, combined with your quick wit and the sacred jank of the source engine, to lure unsuspecting necromancers into physics-based death traps. Crushing them under crates suspended above a flimsy wooden ceiling, freezing the floor by a big drop and watching them slide to their death, spartan kicking a goblin into a spike trap, or even just slamming a chair over their head to throw them to the floor, lining them up for an easy finisher.
As fun as it can be to kill fantasy monsters with unorthodox, slapstick methods, though, the game unfortunately doesn't have a lot going for it besides all that. The combat, especially outside of the magic system, is extremely bare-bones and you'll get tired of trying to win fights fairly really quick. There's also not much to speak of in terms of presentation or plot, other than the typical rpg schlock of "hurr le ancient prophesy durr your dad is the devil lmao durr" and all the funny looks you'll be getting from people that comes with that territory. At least you get a hot demon lady living in your head for the trouble, but I wish she'd stop coming on so strong. I know you want me, Xana, but now is not the time. Everything else, the characters, voice acting, world, music, monster designs, it's all servicable-for-rpg-standards at best and downright comical at worst. Though, I suppose that does compliment the already comical nature of the game.
All in all, however, in spite of it's flaws as a holistic gameplay experience and having quite possibly the least mechanical depth out of any Arkane game pre-Deathloop (most likely due to interference from Ubisoft), the beauty of sourcejank combined with the cartoonish nature of the combat encounters make for a unique gameplay experience I have yet to see repeated or improved upon, especially within the boundaries of a toolset provided to you by a fantasy world. Dark Messiah isn't going to blow you away, but you're sure as hell gonna blow those orcs away. Right off a cliff.
2018
Now, I'm definitely not the biggest boomer shooter guy. I like to believe we've come a long way from circle-strafing around a bunch of dudes in a big arena, gunning them down one by one, like mowing a lawn while on 2mg of fentanyl. But to deny their significance to the genre, hell, the medium as a whole, or to suggest they're "outdated" or some other bullshit you'd hear some blue-haired zoomer spout, would be nothing short of asinine. They still deserve love, arguably more than they get, and DUSK is proof of that.
DUSK is a love letter to everything that's amazing about boomer shooters. A culmination of what has made the genre so timeless, in spite of the inherent simplicity of a game that would constitute such a categorisation. A Frankenstein of the bouncy and bombastic gunplay and platforming that made such games iconic.
Speaking of Frankenstein, what kind of internet nobody would I be if I were to forget the incredible setting of the game? Dave Szymanski really knocked it outta the park with this one. Travelling from middle-of-nowhere rural villages to sprawling military complexes RE4-style, and capping it off with a mysterious and ancient city of cultists, the world of DUSK is something truly never-before-seen. It certainly helps that a lot of the levels can be legitimately scary at times, with the introduction of new and unfamiliar monsters in dark, cramped hallways, unbefitting of the genre as a whole, but working perfectly to compliment the vibe of the game. Fuck wendigos, by the way.
The sound design for a few of the enemies could use a little work, but besides that, the unique blend of grindhouse and eldritch horror on display is a treat to behold, but not without its tricks, of course. The opening level starting with you being thrown into some dark, dingy basement with a couple of chainsaw-wielding rednecks, armed with nothing but a couple of farming tools, has got to be one of the most badass setpieces in the genre. Shit's straight out of a late '90s slasher movie.
And like any good slasher movie, a good game can be easily identified by its weapons, and DUSK is no exception. One-upping Arnie by John Wooing cultists with a pair of Winchester 1887s, sending some demons to God with a hunting rifle that kicks like a mule and hits like a truck, and don't even get me started on the sheer annihilation you can dish out with the riveter. The sound design for all of them is super punchy, and they all feel unique and serve a specific purpose. Really wish there was a bigger ammo pool for the hunting rifle though...
But, of course, it doesn't stop there. The flexibility to look up or down further than 180 degrees, enabling you to perform front/backflips and shoot things upside down in mid-air. Picking up and interacting with physics objects in the environment, such as the soap bar, neatly hidden away in most levels with the ability to kill anything in one hit. Bullet time powerups that allow you to bob, weave, blast-jump and air-strafe around bullets and baddies. There are so many cool little facets about DUSK that make it stand out from the competition, and that is what makes it so solid in my eyes; the skeleton of a boomer shooter encased in the flesh and blood of a truly interactive and intricately woven FPS experience.
With DUSK being a relative newcomer in a genre with as long and storied a history as boomshoot, and with memorable music being what keeps the memory of a game alive, even with all the good I've talked about it before now, the game wouldn't be spoken half as highly of were it not for the contribution of one Andrew Hulshult, a man whose name is so synonymous with the genre that he even took over from Mick Fucking Gordon of recent DOOM fame to work on DOOM Eternal's DLCs. After all, you're gonna have to REALLY kick it into high gear to outdo something like BFG Division, so how does Keepers Of The Gate compare?
Overall, DUSK is irrefutably one of the best shooters released in the last decade, maybe ever. Every piece of the puzzle is laid out neatly; the guns, the goons, the banging tunes, all of it comes together perfectly. The constant tension and adrenaline from Szymanski and Hulshult's intoxicating blend of balls-out action and rip-that-dudes-balls-off metal riffs make for a truly one-of-a-kind experience, and I cannot wait to see what they both do in the future.
DUSK is a love letter to everything that's amazing about boomer shooters. A culmination of what has made the genre so timeless, in spite of the inherent simplicity of a game that would constitute such a categorisation. A Frankenstein of the bouncy and bombastic gunplay and platforming that made such games iconic.
Speaking of Frankenstein, what kind of internet nobody would I be if I were to forget the incredible setting of the game? Dave Szymanski really knocked it outta the park with this one. Travelling from middle-of-nowhere rural villages to sprawling military complexes RE4-style, and capping it off with a mysterious and ancient city of cultists, the world of DUSK is something truly never-before-seen. It certainly helps that a lot of the levels can be legitimately scary at times, with the introduction of new and unfamiliar monsters in dark, cramped hallways, unbefitting of the genre as a whole, but working perfectly to compliment the vibe of the game. Fuck wendigos, by the way.
The sound design for a few of the enemies could use a little work, but besides that, the unique blend of grindhouse and eldritch horror on display is a treat to behold, but not without its tricks, of course. The opening level starting with you being thrown into some dark, dingy basement with a couple of chainsaw-wielding rednecks, armed with nothing but a couple of farming tools, has got to be one of the most badass setpieces in the genre. Shit's straight out of a late '90s slasher movie.
And like any good slasher movie, a good game can be easily identified by its weapons, and DUSK is no exception. One-upping Arnie by John Wooing cultists with a pair of Winchester 1887s, sending some demons to God with a hunting rifle that kicks like a mule and hits like a truck, and don't even get me started on the sheer annihilation you can dish out with the riveter. The sound design for all of them is super punchy, and they all feel unique and serve a specific purpose. Really wish there was a bigger ammo pool for the hunting rifle though...
But, of course, it doesn't stop there. The flexibility to look up or down further than 180 degrees, enabling you to perform front/backflips and shoot things upside down in mid-air. Picking up and interacting with physics objects in the environment, such as the soap bar, neatly hidden away in most levels with the ability to kill anything in one hit. Bullet time powerups that allow you to bob, weave, blast-jump and air-strafe around bullets and baddies. There are so many cool little facets about DUSK that make it stand out from the competition, and that is what makes it so solid in my eyes; the skeleton of a boomer shooter encased in the flesh and blood of a truly interactive and intricately woven FPS experience.
With DUSK being a relative newcomer in a genre with as long and storied a history as boomshoot, and with memorable music being what keeps the memory of a game alive, even with all the good I've talked about it before now, the game wouldn't be spoken half as highly of were it not for the contribution of one Andrew Hulshult, a man whose name is so synonymous with the genre that he even took over from Mick Fucking Gordon of recent DOOM fame to work on DOOM Eternal's DLCs. After all, you're gonna have to REALLY kick it into high gear to outdo something like BFG Division, so how does Keepers Of The Gate compare?
Overall, DUSK is irrefutably one of the best shooters released in the last decade, maybe ever. Every piece of the puzzle is laid out neatly; the guns, the goons, the banging tunes, all of it comes together perfectly. The constant tension and adrenaline from Szymanski and Hulshult's intoxicating blend of balls-out action and rip-that-dudes-balls-off metal riffs make for a truly one-of-a-kind experience, and I cannot wait to see what they both do in the future.
2007
"Waah! Waaaah! Ahahahaha! CRY SOME MORE!!" - Heavy
Team Fortress 2 is the greatest video game ever made.
Serious weapon balancing problems. A community with a mix of the best and worst people the world has to offer. Casual servers being plagued with hacker-bots, headshotting people from lightyears away with perfect accuracy. A lack of major updates, meaning a lack of fresh content, and what little has been added over the more recent years only serve to ruin the performance. Complete and total neglect from Valve, eroding all hope left in the community and discouraging newcomers. All this and more, and TF2 is still the king of multiplayer video games, no contest.
And with it being the greatest game of all time, it's no surprise that it started out as a fan mod of Quake; a strong runner-up for the best game ever, no doubt. Hectic and satisfying single-fire gunplay combined with bouncy, fluid and energetic movement features found in it's predecessor provided the framework for what would've been some of the most satisfying and in-depth gameplay and mechanics in a shooter.
And while some, including myself, may be upset by the lack of new weapons, what we've been given over the course of the game's first 9 years more than makes up for it. Each class has a healthy variety of different weapons and potential loadouts to experiment with, catering to whatever playstyle might suit you. Each and every weapon is functionally unique, even with as little as a slight stat change being an absolute gamechanger in the right situations, such as the Tomislav, Conniver's Kunai and Black Box.
Of course, all this talk of multiple playstyles to experiment with wouldn't mean much without the surrounding map design and aforementioned movement to support it. Every part of a solid TF2 map's geometry is tightly woven together to allow for some intense movement tech. Rocket Jumping, Bunny Hopping, Trimping, using Scout's multiple jumps, etc. allow for crazy routing to and from the frontlines, like Upward, Process, Sunshine, Badwater, and to a degree, Gravelpit. And even in spite of the browny-beigey colour palette and practically every map taking place in some sort of industrial facility, the layout and aesthetics of each and every one is iconic, feeling distinct and tailor-made to provide a different gameplay experience to the one preceding it.
Speaking of iconic, each class was perfectly designed to be easily recognisable, not only in general, but in the heat of battle. After all, a wise man once said a sign of a great character design is the ability to be identified by it's silhouette, and it's just as true here. All of them have a unique style and charming personality that can appeal to every kind of player, accompanied by the utterly gargantuan selection of cosmetics and goofy hats to add another layer to the experience, allowing for sub-par cosplays of your favourite characters, or perhaps just committing to a gag.
The Spy is a personal favourite. There's something uniquely satisfying about dominating the other team as the weakest class in the game, all while dishing out snarky one-liners and being more sharply dressed than the knife you just cleared through those unsuspecting free-to-plays with. By choosing to play him, you are actively telling the other team (and sometimes even your own, as much as you need their help) that you think you're better than them, and Spy has the tools that allow you to do that. The only real drawback is meeting the skill floor to play him effectively. That, and having to be french.
On that note, what better way to compliment some kick-ass character design than some equally kick-ass lore? Not only the official trailers for the game from Valve, but the Meet The Team videos, Expiration Date, the comic series (fuck Valve for not finishing it), all of it serve to create a world and cast of lovable lunatics with licences to kill truly unlike any other in all of fiction. Meet The Medic is some of the most bad-ass shit ever put on a screen.
And what would those incredible animations be without some equally amazing music to accompany it? Another case of Valve not recognising a good thing when they see it, TF2 has one of the most iconic soundtracks ever composed, and it's still utterly criminal that all of these bangers only play once at the main menu when you boot up the game, and never outside of that. I guarantee you, even if you've never heard of the game, you'll at least have heard one of the tracks before somewhere. Right Behind You, Drunken Pipe Bomb, and Medic!, just to name a few. And of course, who could forget the all-time classic, Rocket Jump Waltz. Rest in peace, Rick May.
As I alluded to briefly at the start of this review, however, the community is truly the greatest driving force behind the long life of this game. Workshop submissions, goofy animations in SFM and GMod, even feature-length movies, like the utterly mortifying Emesis Blue. The TF2 community is one that flexes its creative muscles more than any other out there, and while it has it's bad eggs, it still remains the mother of all omelettes.
The game itself, of course, is the greatest collaborative effort to this cause. Countless community servers, all with custom addons, maps, gamemodes, weapons and rebalances, all contributing towards a unique and thriving culture not found in any other game. Of course, community servers are largely cringe, unplayable shitholes, due to shitty moderation, insufferable chat filters, and being generally populated by the worst the game has to offer, as opposed to Valve official casual servers' generally mixed bag, but at least it's not plagued by those insufferable bots.
Warts and all, however, I still have to commend the game for it's ability to connect people. Perhaps this is a biased point, but I've made dozens of friends and had countless unforgettable moments through made possible only by this game. For every gibus-donning spanish kid with 3 hours who keeps getting stabbed by the same spy and not learning, there was a cracked Demo on my team with a cute kitty pfp who always had my back, whom I bonded with over some pubstomping. For every 400lb+ scorch-shot-phlog pyro main with furry porn games and neo-pronouns in their steam profile, there was a scout who missed all their shots on me while I stood still, proceeding to killbind out of embarrassment. You'll never meet the kind of people you see in TF2 while playing any other game, for better or worse, and that's a promise.
All in all, playing Team Fortress 2 has been a crucial part of my upbringing, and I couldn't be more thankful for it. The complete and utter rollercoaster of emotions this game has put me through, only exacerbated by maining Spy, and the history I've built with the people in my life through this game could have a book series written about it. I've yet to find a game that's as mechanically deep, rich in content (in spite of Valve's neglect), or that allows for nearly as many ways to play and interact with other people as this game, and while the fact that we may never receive a worthy successor to this game is somewhat depressing, it only serves to highlight how important this game is to people, what it represents, and the opportunities it has given countless people over the past 16 years and counting.
Team Fortress 2 is the greatest video game ever made.
Team Fortress 2 is the greatest video game ever made.
Serious weapon balancing problems. A community with a mix of the best and worst people the world has to offer. Casual servers being plagued with hacker-bots, headshotting people from lightyears away with perfect accuracy. A lack of major updates, meaning a lack of fresh content, and what little has been added over the more recent years only serve to ruin the performance. Complete and total neglect from Valve, eroding all hope left in the community and discouraging newcomers. All this and more, and TF2 is still the king of multiplayer video games, no contest.
And with it being the greatest game of all time, it's no surprise that it started out as a fan mod of Quake; a strong runner-up for the best game ever, no doubt. Hectic and satisfying single-fire gunplay combined with bouncy, fluid and energetic movement features found in it's predecessor provided the framework for what would've been some of the most satisfying and in-depth gameplay and mechanics in a shooter.
And while some, including myself, may be upset by the lack of new weapons, what we've been given over the course of the game's first 9 years more than makes up for it. Each class has a healthy variety of different weapons and potential loadouts to experiment with, catering to whatever playstyle might suit you. Each and every weapon is functionally unique, even with as little as a slight stat change being an absolute gamechanger in the right situations, such as the Tomislav, Conniver's Kunai and Black Box.
Of course, all this talk of multiple playstyles to experiment with wouldn't mean much without the surrounding map design and aforementioned movement to support it. Every part of a solid TF2 map's geometry is tightly woven together to allow for some intense movement tech. Rocket Jumping, Bunny Hopping, Trimping, using Scout's multiple jumps, etc. allow for crazy routing to and from the frontlines, like Upward, Process, Sunshine, Badwater, and to a degree, Gravelpit. And even in spite of the browny-beigey colour palette and practically every map taking place in some sort of industrial facility, the layout and aesthetics of each and every one is iconic, feeling distinct and tailor-made to provide a different gameplay experience to the one preceding it.
Speaking of iconic, each class was perfectly designed to be easily recognisable, not only in general, but in the heat of battle. After all, a wise man once said a sign of a great character design is the ability to be identified by it's silhouette, and it's just as true here. All of them have a unique style and charming personality that can appeal to every kind of player, accompanied by the utterly gargantuan selection of cosmetics and goofy hats to add another layer to the experience, allowing for sub-par cosplays of your favourite characters, or perhaps just committing to a gag.
The Spy is a personal favourite. There's something uniquely satisfying about dominating the other team as the weakest class in the game, all while dishing out snarky one-liners and being more sharply dressed than the knife you just cleared through those unsuspecting free-to-plays with. By choosing to play him, you are actively telling the other team (and sometimes even your own, as much as you need their help) that you think you're better than them, and Spy has the tools that allow you to do that. The only real drawback is meeting the skill floor to play him effectively. That, and having to be french.
On that note, what better way to compliment some kick-ass character design than some equally kick-ass lore? Not only the official trailers for the game from Valve, but the Meet The Team videos, Expiration Date, the comic series (fuck Valve for not finishing it), all of it serve to create a world and cast of lovable lunatics with licences to kill truly unlike any other in all of fiction. Meet The Medic is some of the most bad-ass shit ever put on a screen.
And what would those incredible animations be without some equally amazing music to accompany it? Another case of Valve not recognising a good thing when they see it, TF2 has one of the most iconic soundtracks ever composed, and it's still utterly criminal that all of these bangers only play once at the main menu when you boot up the game, and never outside of that. I guarantee you, even if you've never heard of the game, you'll at least have heard one of the tracks before somewhere. Right Behind You, Drunken Pipe Bomb, and Medic!, just to name a few. And of course, who could forget the all-time classic, Rocket Jump Waltz. Rest in peace, Rick May.
As I alluded to briefly at the start of this review, however, the community is truly the greatest driving force behind the long life of this game. Workshop submissions, goofy animations in SFM and GMod, even feature-length movies, like the utterly mortifying Emesis Blue. The TF2 community is one that flexes its creative muscles more than any other out there, and while it has it's bad eggs, it still remains the mother of all omelettes.
The game itself, of course, is the greatest collaborative effort to this cause. Countless community servers, all with custom addons, maps, gamemodes, weapons and rebalances, all contributing towards a unique and thriving culture not found in any other game. Of course, community servers are largely cringe, unplayable shitholes, due to shitty moderation, insufferable chat filters, and being generally populated by the worst the game has to offer, as opposed to Valve official casual servers' generally mixed bag, but at least it's not plagued by those insufferable bots.
Warts and all, however, I still have to commend the game for it's ability to connect people. Perhaps this is a biased point, but I've made dozens of friends and had countless unforgettable moments through made possible only by this game. For every gibus-donning spanish kid with 3 hours who keeps getting stabbed by the same spy and not learning, there was a cracked Demo on my team with a cute kitty pfp who always had my back, whom I bonded with over some pubstomping. For every 400lb+ scorch-shot-phlog pyro main with furry porn games and neo-pronouns in their steam profile, there was a scout who missed all their shots on me while I stood still, proceeding to killbind out of embarrassment. You'll never meet the kind of people you see in TF2 while playing any other game, for better or worse, and that's a promise.
All in all, playing Team Fortress 2 has been a crucial part of my upbringing, and I couldn't be more thankful for it. The complete and utter rollercoaster of emotions this game has put me through, only exacerbated by maining Spy, and the history I've built with the people in my life through this game could have a book series written about it. I've yet to find a game that's as mechanically deep, rich in content (in spite of Valve's neglect), or that allows for nearly as many ways to play and interact with other people as this game, and while the fact that we may never receive a worthy successor to this game is somewhat depressing, it only serves to highlight how important this game is to people, what it represents, and the opportunities it has given countless people over the past 16 years and counting.
Team Fortress 2 is the greatest video game ever made.
2014
"No. You don't understand. I've been dead for 35 years. Today is the day I live." - Brad Armstrong
Boy Oh Boy, Lisa The Painful. What can be said about this that hasn't been said already? That it's simultaneously one of the most hilarious and gut-wrenching experiences you'll ever have? That it's a prime example of how to create an incredible RPG experience, even without doing anything to stand out or reinventing the wheel, like the likes of SMT? That it did the whole "quirky indie RPG inspired by Earthbound" thing before it was cool?
After going through the first 15 minutes of unskippable cutscenes and establishing backstory, the game puts you in the shoes of one Brad Armstrong, recovered (or struggling, depending on your choices) drug addict and has-been martial artist, as well as friend to many peculiar characters of the Olathe wastelands and surrogate father to the only female human being left on the planet.
Quick history lesson. Ordinary late 20th/early 21st century life is suddenly interrupted by an event known by the last remnants of humanity as "The Flash," a sudden burst of light emitting over all of earth, as every single woman and girl on the planet is suddenly missing. Abducted by aliens, wiped from existence by a deity, who can say for sure? With the rest of the world left with no way to keep the earth populated and on a one-way road to extinction, I'm sure you can fill in the blanks.
Needless to say, in a world like this, a man who suddenly stumbles upon an infant with two X chromosomes has both struck gold and painted a giant target on his back, as after some ten, fifteen-ish years, after passing out drunk on the end of a mountain, Brad stumbles on home to find his childhood friend killed, and worse yet, his adopted daughter, Buddy, the fate of humanity, kidnapped by an unknown party.
Despite most fights and areas of the game being scripted in order to avoid unnecessary grinding, the game has no shortage of intimidating foes and equally odd friends, with a total of 30 party members (Harvey Alibastor is a personal favourite, ignoring the balancing) and armies of bandits, perverts, and worst of all: Joy mutants. What were once men have devolved into overgrown mistakes of nature, warped by a failed bioweapon turned recreational drug, with devastating side effects. Tanky, heavy-handed, and capable of killing your party members - not K.O.-ing, KILLING. Permanently. Not even as part of a scripted event or anything, it can just HAPPEN. You'd better be prepared to take a lot more losses than just Buddy, especially beyond the first act of the game.
In terms of raw gameplay, from a standard, no-nonsense turn-based, you can't get much better than LISA. The scripted fights means each fight is tailor-made for the point in the run that you reach it, even with the environments being considerably open. The buffs and debuffs are plentiful, and for once, actually make a serious impact, which I can always respect a game for doing well. And even in the face of the sheer number of possible party members, each one feels distinct and serves a unique role in the way they support the party, such as Birdie Hall, a healer/buffer that uses TP to heal (a form of MP commonly found in RPG Maker games, accumulated by dealing/receiving damage, or using items).
One of the most novel things about the combat, however, is the attack input system for characters like Brad. Certain special moves can correspond to specific button combos when you choose the character's regular attack option. Upon attacking, a window will pop up with WASD inputs, allowing you to use these attacks, for example, WAWA will make Brad use his Machine Gun Fist move, along with extra damage from each of those button presses. It's also very helpful, as it can help with avoiding wasting a turn on overkill, as one of the hits from the initial button combo can kill one enemy, and the rest of the damage coming from the special move will be passed on to the next enemy, implying it's timed right.
And, of course, what would an experience like LISA be without some fitting music to accompany it? And by fitting, I mean fitting. We're talking about LISA here. This isn't the kinda shit you put on the aux in your mum's car. Austin Jorgensen composed some of the most bizarre, bouncy, bombastic tracks ever heard by the ears of men, and all within a month's free trial of FL Studio, without even being able to save his projects. All of these bangers were one-takes, including, of course, the unforgettable Summer Love:
With all that said, as any real LISAhead will tell you, the meat and potatoes of the franchise lies within the fangames. Hopeful, Pointless, Timeless, to name just the biggest few projects. In a lot of ways, they tend to outdo their predecessor, but it wouldn't be fair for me to put any of them higher than the OG. I implore anyone reading this to play Lisa The Painful, so that they may be given direct passage into the world of these incredible fangames.
Boy Oh Boy, Lisa The Painful. What can be said about this that hasn't been said already? That it's simultaneously one of the most hilarious and gut-wrenching experiences you'll ever have? That it's a prime example of how to create an incredible RPG experience, even without doing anything to stand out or reinventing the wheel, like the likes of SMT? That it did the whole "quirky indie RPG inspired by Earthbound" thing before it was cool?
After going through the first 15 minutes of unskippable cutscenes and establishing backstory, the game puts you in the shoes of one Brad Armstrong, recovered (or struggling, depending on your choices) drug addict and has-been martial artist, as well as friend to many peculiar characters of the Olathe wastelands and surrogate father to the only female human being left on the planet.
Quick history lesson. Ordinary late 20th/early 21st century life is suddenly interrupted by an event known by the last remnants of humanity as "The Flash," a sudden burst of light emitting over all of earth, as every single woman and girl on the planet is suddenly missing. Abducted by aliens, wiped from existence by a deity, who can say for sure? With the rest of the world left with no way to keep the earth populated and on a one-way road to extinction, I'm sure you can fill in the blanks.
Needless to say, in a world like this, a man who suddenly stumbles upon an infant with two X chromosomes has both struck gold and painted a giant target on his back, as after some ten, fifteen-ish years, after passing out drunk on the end of a mountain, Brad stumbles on home to find his childhood friend killed, and worse yet, his adopted daughter, Buddy, the fate of humanity, kidnapped by an unknown party.
Despite most fights and areas of the game being scripted in order to avoid unnecessary grinding, the game has no shortage of intimidating foes and equally odd friends, with a total of 30 party members (Harvey Alibastor is a personal favourite, ignoring the balancing) and armies of bandits, perverts, and worst of all: Joy mutants. What were once men have devolved into overgrown mistakes of nature, warped by a failed bioweapon turned recreational drug, with devastating side effects. Tanky, heavy-handed, and capable of killing your party members - not K.O.-ing, KILLING. Permanently. Not even as part of a scripted event or anything, it can just HAPPEN. You'd better be prepared to take a lot more losses than just Buddy, especially beyond the first act of the game.
In terms of raw gameplay, from a standard, no-nonsense turn-based, you can't get much better than LISA. The scripted fights means each fight is tailor-made for the point in the run that you reach it, even with the environments being considerably open. The buffs and debuffs are plentiful, and for once, actually make a serious impact, which I can always respect a game for doing well. And even in the face of the sheer number of possible party members, each one feels distinct and serves a unique role in the way they support the party, such as Birdie Hall, a healer/buffer that uses TP to heal (a form of MP commonly found in RPG Maker games, accumulated by dealing/receiving damage, or using items).
One of the most novel things about the combat, however, is the attack input system for characters like Brad. Certain special moves can correspond to specific button combos when you choose the character's regular attack option. Upon attacking, a window will pop up with WASD inputs, allowing you to use these attacks, for example, WAWA will make Brad use his Machine Gun Fist move, along with extra damage from each of those button presses. It's also very helpful, as it can help with avoiding wasting a turn on overkill, as one of the hits from the initial button combo can kill one enemy, and the rest of the damage coming from the special move will be passed on to the next enemy, implying it's timed right.
And, of course, what would an experience like LISA be without some fitting music to accompany it? And by fitting, I mean fitting. We're talking about LISA here. This isn't the kinda shit you put on the aux in your mum's car. Austin Jorgensen composed some of the most bizarre, bouncy, bombastic tracks ever heard by the ears of men, and all within a month's free trial of FL Studio, without even being able to save his projects. All of these bangers were one-takes, including, of course, the unforgettable Summer Love:
With all that said, as any real LISAhead will tell you, the meat and potatoes of the franchise lies within the fangames. Hopeful, Pointless, Timeless, to name just the biggest few projects. In a lot of ways, they tend to outdo their predecessor, but it wouldn't be fair for me to put any of them higher than the OG. I implore anyone reading this to play Lisa The Painful, so that they may be given direct passage into the world of these incredible fangames.
2015
"To me, a finger or two don't mean shit. Having Awano or Shibusawa beat me to the captain's spot? Couldn't give a fuck... As long as I'm alive, I'll keep getting back up for more. Which is why you... A half-ass like you's the one thing I can't stand. Now DIE, you little shit!" - Daisaku Kuze
I hadn't heard much about Yakuza before getting into it, only that 0 was considered the best game and that it was named vaguely after the game's subject matter. But as soon as I managed to snag a copy, I grew obsessed.
Yakuza Kiwami was actually my first experience with the series, but outside of the combat, the layout of Kamurocho and a few faces I would meet again, I had no idea what to expect from 0.
One of the biggest things that drew me to Yakuza was the aforementioned combat. I still love the complexity and over-the-top nature of hack and slashes like the Devil May Cry series, but I'm a sucker for the more grounded, rugged, knuckle-dragging type of fighting this series is known for.
Each style feels perfectly suited to a specific use-case, and all, while not exactly equal, can be fun and rewarding to use when done right. Breaker is my personal favourite, not even because of the novelty of using breakdancing as a fighting style, but because of how fluid and adaptable it is, and the sheer crowd control power it has.
I won't get knee deep into story territory because otherwise I'd be here all day, but it's truthfully simultaneously heartwarming, gut-wrenching, and super satisfying to see through to the end. The dynamic between Kiryu and Kuze is some of the best character dissection I have ever seen, and Majima's origin story is utterly tragic but so compelling.
Quite possibly the most impressive part of 0, and the series as a whole by extension, is the overworld. While not quite at their most expansive in 0, Kamurocho and Sotenbori are so distinctive and vibrant it really feels like a real place that's living and breathing, with every resident having their own story to tell.
Speaking of stories, the substories. Though typically not as fleshed out or captivating as the main story, the substories (or side missions) in the Yakuza games have always been a heartwarming Novelty to add extra runtime and things to do to the games. Hiring a chicken as an advisor for your up-and-coming real estate firm is not something I thought would happen going into a game that presents itself as a serious and gritty crime thriller.
And that, to me, is the spirit of Yakuza. The complete and utter contradiction that it is and how it creates a stark contrast between these two extremes and makes them feel feasible in the same world. Kiryu can be and very much IS the kind of guy that will take on the world just to be able to play with bootleg Hot Wheels in peace, and as time flies, So Much More. ;)
Oh, and the music is banging too. A personal favourite of mine:
I hadn't heard much about Yakuza before getting into it, only that 0 was considered the best game and that it was named vaguely after the game's subject matter. But as soon as I managed to snag a copy, I grew obsessed.
Yakuza Kiwami was actually my first experience with the series, but outside of the combat, the layout of Kamurocho and a few faces I would meet again, I had no idea what to expect from 0.
One of the biggest things that drew me to Yakuza was the aforementioned combat. I still love the complexity and over-the-top nature of hack and slashes like the Devil May Cry series, but I'm a sucker for the more grounded, rugged, knuckle-dragging type of fighting this series is known for.
Each style feels perfectly suited to a specific use-case, and all, while not exactly equal, can be fun and rewarding to use when done right. Breaker is my personal favourite, not even because of the novelty of using breakdancing as a fighting style, but because of how fluid and adaptable it is, and the sheer crowd control power it has.
I won't get knee deep into story territory because otherwise I'd be here all day, but it's truthfully simultaneously heartwarming, gut-wrenching, and super satisfying to see through to the end. The dynamic between Kiryu and Kuze is some of the best character dissection I have ever seen, and Majima's origin story is utterly tragic but so compelling.
Quite possibly the most impressive part of 0, and the series as a whole by extension, is the overworld. While not quite at their most expansive in 0, Kamurocho and Sotenbori are so distinctive and vibrant it really feels like a real place that's living and breathing, with every resident having their own story to tell.
Speaking of stories, the substories. Though typically not as fleshed out or captivating as the main story, the substories (or side missions) in the Yakuza games have always been a heartwarming Novelty to add extra runtime and things to do to the games. Hiring a chicken as an advisor for your up-and-coming real estate firm is not something I thought would happen going into a game that presents itself as a serious and gritty crime thriller.
And that, to me, is the spirit of Yakuza. The complete and utter contradiction that it is and how it creates a stark contrast between these two extremes and makes them feel feasible in the same world. Kiryu can be and very much IS the kind of guy that will take on the world just to be able to play with bootleg Hot Wheels in peace, and as time flies, So Much More. ;)
Oh, and the music is banging too. A personal favourite of mine:
2009
"We are walking through the valley of the shadow of death, and kicking ass!" - Nick
Objectively the best co-op PvE game ever made.
Every single campaign is laid out in such a way that they all feel unique. Dead Centre serves as a fantastic introduction to the mechanics and enemy types of the game, and the quirks of the source engine (unless your first time is in versus), and the Director changing up the layout of the area at random makes for near endless replayability.
Every single facet of the presentation is phenomenal, the music, the sound design, the distinct personalities and memorable lines of each character that isn't an african-american female, the designs of the special infected, even the writings on the walls in the safe rooms lend a lot to the experience of being in a zombie movie that the devs were going for.
Most of my time spent ingame has been in versus, though. Being able to play as the special infected and seeing how weak they really are against the surviviors makes it so much more satisfying when you finally get a match with a good team that can utterly decimate unsuspecting survivors. Granted, versus isn't perfect. The community is terrible and the sourcejank you have to constantly compete with is even worse, but it's an experience like no other once you get it down.
Of course, if you don't have the patience of a saint, you can always try the plethora of workshop campaigns and mutations that change the way the game is played completely, some of which honestly even outdo the main game. Suicide Blitz is a personal favourite, and I have fond memories of The Bloody Moors (albeit probably due to personal bias and patriotism).
When I can't think of what else to play with friends, Left 4 Dead 2 is always a fine choice. There's an endless ocean of amazing content for the game (while not exactly quality assured) that can keep you coming back for a long time.
And, of course, what would the greatest co-op PvE experience be without equally great music to accompany it? And thanks to the blessed Last Stand update, we got to enjoy this banger:
Objectively the best co-op PvE game ever made.
Every single campaign is laid out in such a way that they all feel unique. Dead Centre serves as a fantastic introduction to the mechanics and enemy types of the game, and the quirks of the source engine (unless your first time is in versus), and the Director changing up the layout of the area at random makes for near endless replayability.
Every single facet of the presentation is phenomenal, the music, the sound design, the distinct personalities and memorable lines of each character that isn't an african-american female, the designs of the special infected, even the writings on the walls in the safe rooms lend a lot to the experience of being in a zombie movie that the devs were going for.
Most of my time spent ingame has been in versus, though. Being able to play as the special infected and seeing how weak they really are against the surviviors makes it so much more satisfying when you finally get a match with a good team that can utterly decimate unsuspecting survivors. Granted, versus isn't perfect. The community is terrible and the sourcejank you have to constantly compete with is even worse, but it's an experience like no other once you get it down.
Of course, if you don't have the patience of a saint, you can always try the plethora of workshop campaigns and mutations that change the way the game is played completely, some of which honestly even outdo the main game. Suicide Blitz is a personal favourite, and I have fond memories of The Bloody Moors (albeit probably due to personal bias and patriotism).
When I can't think of what else to play with friends, Left 4 Dead 2 is always a fine choice. There's an endless ocean of amazing content for the game (while not exactly quality assured) that can keep you coming back for a long time.
And, of course, what would the greatest co-op PvE experience be without equally great music to accompany it? And thanks to the blessed Last Stand update, we got to enjoy this banger:
2018
"Rock and stone!" - The Dwarves
While not executed quite as well as other games that did similar things, DRG is still a prime example of a game that manages to have an perfect balance of silly social interactions and intense and rewarding co-op combat, while maintaining the replayability that is required for any game to stand the test of time.
Each class brings something to the table in a mission, not just in terms of their utilities making terrain traversal more practical, but also with how builds can synergise and compliment each other in terms of combat. I always appreciate Scouts that take cryo grenades and make my job a little bit easier. With that said, it's still totally feasible to go on an Elite Deep Dive as four Drillers and absolutely clean house, in case one of your friends doesn't like playing a specific class.
I'm tempted to give this game a higher score, but there are two things keeping it back. One, overall amount of readily available content. There are lots of cosmetic customisation options and some really cool looking unlockable armour sets as you progress in the game, which is all well and good, but in terms of weapon and weapon overclock variety, mission types to select from, and other more significant facets of the game, it can be a bit lacking. Granted, the game is being updated regularly, and more content is being added, but not at a brilliant pace.
The second, which is more significant, is the lack of character the playable dwarves have. Not to say there's no entertaining voice lines or interactions to be had, but I wish each class had their own voice lines and distinct personality separate from each other, even if they had to reuse the same voice actor each time. It would lend a lot more to the experience than just the same lines pitch-shifted depending on your class. Though, that would then invalidate my theory that all the dwarves are just clones of Karl, so whatever.
Overall, one of the best co-op shooters ever made.
Oh, did I mention there's mod support? And thank goodness there is because, while I can't say the existing soundtrack for the game is outright bad, far from it, it does get incredibly repetitive, along with the repetitive style of gameplay that comes with lack of mission variety, which makes me so thankful for soundtrack mods. Still...:
While not executed quite as well as other games that did similar things, DRG is still a prime example of a game that manages to have an perfect balance of silly social interactions and intense and rewarding co-op combat, while maintaining the replayability that is required for any game to stand the test of time.
Each class brings something to the table in a mission, not just in terms of their utilities making terrain traversal more practical, but also with how builds can synergise and compliment each other in terms of combat. I always appreciate Scouts that take cryo grenades and make my job a little bit easier. With that said, it's still totally feasible to go on an Elite Deep Dive as four Drillers and absolutely clean house, in case one of your friends doesn't like playing a specific class.
I'm tempted to give this game a higher score, but there are two things keeping it back. One, overall amount of readily available content. There are lots of cosmetic customisation options and some really cool looking unlockable armour sets as you progress in the game, which is all well and good, but in terms of weapon and weapon overclock variety, mission types to select from, and other more significant facets of the game, it can be a bit lacking. Granted, the game is being updated regularly, and more content is being added, but not at a brilliant pace.
The second, which is more significant, is the lack of character the playable dwarves have. Not to say there's no entertaining voice lines or interactions to be had, but I wish each class had their own voice lines and distinct personality separate from each other, even if they had to reuse the same voice actor each time. It would lend a lot more to the experience than just the same lines pitch-shifted depending on your class. Though, that would then invalidate my theory that all the dwarves are just clones of Karl, so whatever.
Overall, one of the best co-op shooters ever made.
Oh, did I mention there's mod support? And thank goodness there is because, while I can't say the existing soundtrack for the game is outright bad, far from it, it does get incredibly repetitive, along with the repetitive style of gameplay that comes with lack of mission variety, which makes me so thankful for soundtrack mods. Still...: