A special fuck you to GodOfMediocrity for mailing this godforsaken game to my house without me knowing. I never planned on playing this.

one of the most stereotypical 7th gen games out there. DmC has some sort of superiority complex deep within. trying to be a better dmc game than its predecessors while still doubting its own capabilities. taking the worst parts of the series and fusing them together to muster up some sort of experience. there’s a weird over-abundance of mundane platforming that destroys the pacing of every level consistently. strange gimmicks and the like fill up every stage to make them all feel way too drawn out. there’s nothing really unique about any stage in particular. decayed buildings followed by more decayed buildings. the personified environments is a neat idea but the only thing it ever really amounts to is running for your life before walls close in.
the actual combat is serviceable? there’s definitely something missing that i can’t pinpoint. none of the attacks really feel like they have a sense of weight to them (similar to dmc2 lol) and every enemy encounter basically amounts to spamming triangle or circle while you alternate the triggers for other weapons. there’s no emphasis or flow to anything. just do whatever and enemies will eventually die because their patterns are so easily predictable and using certain moves over and over stuns them indefinitely.
yes, the story is as bad as everyone says. you know iconic scenes like sniper abortion vergil and dante threesome in the opening. who exactly was this for? when the game isn’t being tone deaf it’s long exhausted conversations between characters that mean nothing or disgusting scenes of which their misogynistic and stereotypical tones gladly push their way into the forefront. fuck kat, fuck donte, fuck vorgil, fuck every character. and no, i don’t suggest fucking them fully clothed while staring at pictures of bill clinton.
what really gets me though, what REALLY drove me to the edge, was the final boss. you fight vergil, but not just some new vergil fight, no. it’s a complete slandered version of dmc3’s vergil boss and it’s laughably easy. this goes to show how incompetent DmC is. trying to bask in the glory of its predecessor with a poor imitation. it proudly displays this battle as an apex of what the game has to offer when in reality it’s a depressing reminder of how ignorant the entire game truly is.

it’s a sad bastardization of what devil may cry is.