Genuinely, if you're still irony poisoned, or forced to play it (hi,) or an active follower of the franchise, play this one for yourself. No, it's not worth 10 bucks. No, it absolutely does not stand on its own, brush up on (don't play) 4 and 6 first. Yes, this and the past two games should just be one game. These are the leading reasons why I'm not rating it higher, but my god, I did not ever expect that Banban would land more than one conscious hit with its humor, let alone more than I could count on one hand. The quality isn't an up-and-down jumble like 6 was, it's more consistently middling (which is far better than anything that's come before this,) but god is it an absurd adventure at times. I don't even know what to say anymore. You win, Lena. You win.

Garten of Banban 4 is the worst game I’ve played in recent memory. I’ve played worse in the past, but not in a long time, and I think that was clear in my review. I had to be persuaded to continue the funny journey my girlfriend has set me on, and the only reason I did it is because the thumbnail for this one was Bittergiggle, the highlight of the previous game.

This is the best Banban game by far.

Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s still Banban. They’re still introducing new characters to advance the plot instead of sticking with what they have, the plot itself still blows, the dialogue is crummy, it’s not scary (one of the jumpscares is laughter) and to be perfectly honest, it feels like Bittergiggle’s character completely changed. I mean, I’m fine with what they did, but they still sorta threw him out the window.

Despite all that, plus the shittiness and cash grab of the whole franchise, I actually fucking enjoyed this one. There’s a genuinely liminal quality to it all, and I think that’s in part because of the light source your drone has, and how unfamiliar the whole thing feels. For once, the game making no sense works in its favor, it’s like it was accidentally leaned into. I enjoyed the parts that kept me on my toes, like the spotlight minigame or the last little obstacle course. Which, honestly, I laughed at its reveal. It’s unapologetic in its “lol fuck you” delivery and for once, that lands. The boss blows, and it makes no sense that Banban is there the whole time, but it does feel marginally good to pull it all off. No, you shouldn’t play it, no, I don’t recommend it, yes, there are at least two instances of real bad level design, but I didn’t come out of this one with any real regrets for having played it.

I’m at work and can’t write more so I’ll leave it at this: I’ve already been bought the next game and if they introduce another character in it I’m gonna break his fucking neck

part of the reason I love old-school sega games is because I just love the way their games feel. games designed by sega straddle the line between nuanced, logical physics and exaggerated, arcade-y physics with aplomb. the sega rally series captures this perfectly, where the terrain material and topography are intimately factored into the performance of your car while at the same time you can perfectly drift around corners and fly over hills with a bit of squash-and-stretch going on. the tightrope here is between making the player feel like they're in total control of the car (with the consequences that result) while simultaneously hand-waving the internal mechanisms that limit player expression. the early monkey ball games are the same way: the level design is punishing yet it's addicting because any strategy you devise can probably work thanks to how controllable the ball is. it's why I've stuck with this series so long: from barely making it past beginner as a young child, to learning the extra levels as a high schooler, to finally conquering master and master extra in both games as I whittled away time during a global lockdown.

that being said, I didn't want to go into this game with unrealistic hopes. I knew the original engine was not being used here, so I figured it probably would be a bit stiffer and maybe a little hand-holdy. after all, this remake is partially meant to introduce new players and give them leverage to actually succeed in comparison to the original games, where over half of the levels were tucked behind some serious execution barriers. when I popped it in for the first time this mostly held true: I ran smb1 beginner (newly christened as "casual") without much issue. it wasn't until I touched smb1 expert immediately after...

167 deaths. 167 deaths without including expert extra no less, which I accidentally voided myself out of thanks to misreading the helper option menu that pops up automatically (protip to UI designers: don't make both your selected and unselected options bright colors!!!). these levels are no cakewalk, let's be clear, but I know these levels by the back of my hand. I've 1cc'd expert + expert extra in the original many many times, and even now out of practice I can manage 10 - 15 deaths. it just shocked me that this game felt so different, and so much less precise. in a lot of ways it felt like the original levels popped into Unity with a basic sphere physics plugin, and the results were not pretty. my roommates (also long-time monkey ball fans) also immediately wrote off the game after playing it. even though we had been so hype about finally getting an HD monkey ball - a monkey ball game that wasn't garbage and didn't require us to pull out our CRT - all of our energy immediately dissapated once we got our hands on the game.

so what exactly is the issue here? basically everyone agrees that the physics in this game are noticably different from that of the original, but I want to delve into why. after playing this game for quite a bit (all of story mode, up through master mode in smb1, all the deluxe levels, and poking around into other stuff here and there) I think I've narrowed it down to frictional differences between the two games. for those of you who haven't taken high school physics in some time, let me present the equation f = μN, where f is the frictional force applied parallel to surface we are moving upon (usually horizontally), μ is the coefficient of friction, and N is the normal force applied perpendicular to the surface (hence the name "normal"). before your eyes glaze over, let me connect these to some intangible game-feel statements:

coefficient of friction: this refers to how difficult it is to move over a material; for example, it accounts for why it's more difficult to slide your coffee table when it's on a shaggy carpet versus a finished wood floor. as it relates to the how it feels in this game, I'll borrow a quote from my roommate when he was playing the game: "it feels like every single floor is made out of glass"

normal force: this refers to how hard the object is pushing down on the surface, which in this case mainly refers to the gravitational force the object exerts. this scales with the mass, so we can think of it as how much the object weighs; a cardboard box is a lot easier to move than a full wardrobe. this affects the game-feel, as my girlfriend eloquently put: "it's like there's no monkey at all, and you're just rolling around a hollow ball"

so tldr: there's a severe lack of friction in this game in comparison to the original. in the original game, the ball was weighty, and the friction on the goal posts or ledges allows you to grip them easily (and a bit unrealistically for that matter). these things are boons to the player that go a long way towards making impossible looking courses just barely doable with practice. here the stages refuse to budge when you try to force them to, and you end up without a lot of the gravity-defying tricks you could initially pull off. I'll give some examples of situations that pop up that break under the new physics:

stopping the ball: this took a lot of adjustment for me, and while it's just a matter of relearning muscle memory it very noticeably makes some stages harder. in the original game you could stop pretty much on a dime (unless you were rolling to the point of sparks flying), whereas here the ball will sliiiiiiiide all over the place unless you very deliberately deccelerate. this is more of a general issue but a good example of where this becomes frustrating is Twin Cross, where you're expected to roll across a series of 1x1 tiles in diagonal lines. you need to keep a certain level of speed up to avoid falling off when crossing the corners of two tiles, but then also must deccelerate at the right moment to keep your ball from flying off at the end of a line (which itself is just a 1x1 tile floating in space). Edge Master also becomes more annoying than its prior appearances thanks to this issue, as staying within the bounds of the upward face of the first rotation becomes very precise given how much speed you gain when the stage rotates.

narrow lines: approach a ledge in this game and you'll notice that the bottom of your ball will just be barely close to the ledge when your character starts trembling and attempting to balance themself. compare that to the original, where the characters won't start said animation until their feet are literally touching the ledge, far closer to the center of mass for the ball. you basically have a lot less wiggle room on the edge, and it can become very apparent in certain levels that depend on this. kudos to the dev team for adjust Catwalk to accommodate, but on the flipside look at Invasion. I'd say this level was middle of the road in terms of its original difficulty, but here it's fucking brutal towards the end, where you're expected to navigate in a curve on a ledge around staggered bumpers. comments I've read on early gameplay capture on youtube were quick to point to this stage as one of the biggest difficulty bumps for a remade stage.

slopes: friction is the reason why we don't instantly slide down slopes in real life, hence why we use snowboards and skis instead of just standing on mountains waiting to gain speed. however, in monkey ball the goal is usually not to slide down slopes unless you're explicitly supposed to, and many levels depend on you being able to balance yourself on slopes either while waiting for a cycle or when speeding through before you have a chance to fall off. Drum and Twister back-to-back in smb1's ice world were originally breather stages, where you simply had to keep yourself balanced in brief intervals before reaching the goal. here they became much more precise than I feel was intended, as even slightly moving from the narrow top of the curve on either of these levels will send you careening to your death with no recourse. from smb2 I can absolutely not forget to mention Warp... oh my god Warp. this level was already surprisingly difficult in smb2, given that the flatter part of the curves here are covered with bumpers and maintaing yourself on a slope is already a trickier technique to learn (I see a lot of more casual players get stuck on Floor Bent from smb1 for this reason). here it's nigh impossible to do thanks to how little grip you have. Cross Floors is another smb2 example that requires a lot of practice in the original and here feels terrible to attempt.

centripedal force: some of you may have seen charity donation recepticles shaped like curved funnels (I've seen them in american malls at least), where you can put a coin into a slot and it will spiral around the funnel down and down until falling through a hole at the bottom, much like water spinning in a drain. there are multiple areas in the original monkey ball games that utilize this phenomenon to great effect, and it relies on the friction of the slope or wall that the ball is on to keep it from dropping out. however, when I first played Spiral Hard in this game, I was very surprised to find that I could not simply drop in as I was accustomed to, as even with a decent amount of speed the ball does not grab onto the slope and instead falls off. it took me several tries to successfully drop in, where I had to come in with an exceptional amount of speed, heavily tilt against the slope to avoid falling off, try to balance out before I lost the speed I needed to stay in, and then continue on my way. this level is already difficult enough as is, with a path that narrows the further it spirals down and a goal that is difficult to aim for, so I don't see why dropping in needs to also require a lot of set up when it didn't originally. the end of Stamina Master is also much more difficult than before thanks to this, as the spiral towards the end becomes nearly vertical, and I would often drop out of it completely before I reached the goal. the pipe stages also seem to struggle with keeping you moving, such as the smb1 expert extra stage Curl Pipe, where the second hill virtually always stopped me dead in my tracks (though I've had this happen occasionally in the original as well).

this would be a good time for me to also mention how the camera has changed significantly from the original games. the camera used to rather aggressively stick to the ball's back, whereas here the camera will follow your stick without really staying glued to a particular orientation on the ball. to solve this there is now camera control on the right-stick... this sort of defeats the purpose of the original one-giant-banana-joystick control scheme, but I'm sure plenty of players will feel more comfortable with it there. the big issue here comes when trying to line up straight lines: in the original game it was very doable to turn in place with the camera lining up directly with the center of the monkey's back. here it's already hard enough to turn in place given that you slide around with so little provocation, and now you must center the camera manually using... non-analog controls? yes, the right stick does not seem to have a real gradient of turning from my time playing with it, giving it little more functionality than d-pad camera controls. you can at least adjust camera sensitivity, but I feel like you're forced to sometimes go in and change it per stage, ie high sensitivity for when you need to turn quickly or steadily on fast stages, and low sensitivity when you line up precise shots. the latter was a necessity on Exam-C (a particularly infamous stage) and the aforementioned Twin Cross, as well as Checker, and it made all three of these stages much more tedious than I would've liked. sometimes the camera just breaks entirely, most notably on Centrifugal from smb2, where the speed of rotation in the giant wheel of death causes the camera to get stuck outside the level geometry, or flip in front of you to mess up the angle you're tilting the stage in.

I wanted to include this diatribe about the physics in here just to have some sort of document with the issues I've noticed with this game, and as to provide a detailed summary of why and where the physics are different without just saying they are. players who know the levels above might have noticed that they're virtually all pulled from expert and master: this is because the beginner and advanced difficulties (casual and normal) are totally playable regardless of the changes. that is not to say they aren't still difficult (I still have not beaten Polar Large in this game and, much to my consternation, can not even figure out a good route through it for some reason) but if you're coming in just to fuck around a bit, play through part of story mode, enjoy the cameos, and play minigames with friends, you're not going to notice the different game-feel to the extent of it being overbearing. on the flipside, I do feel justified in presenting my opinions on this in pedantic detail because beginner and advanced only make up 108 stages out of the 258 total stages between the non-DX games, which is to say that for over half of the game you will likely notice what I mentioned above unless you have never played the originals.

regardless of everything listed above, I've actually rated this one a bit higher than super monkey ball deluxe, a collection that still has the original physics intact. my rationale: banana mania is an amazing package overall. what honestly frustrates me more than anything about this game is that it perfectly captures the features and content I'd want in a remake of these games without the tight gameplay I originally adored in the originals. whereas deluxe (on ps2 mind you) was a poorly performing mess with overly-long course structure and a lack of improvements over smb2, this game is packed to the brim with extra modes, great cameo characters, and accesibility features. not everything really hits, but I appreciate how much effort and material there is here with so little development time.

the main game specifically deliminates between the first two games for its courses, unlike deluxe where stages from both games were interleaved. each course is 1:1 with their original set of stages, with extra stages now being unlocked if all the regular stages were completed without the helper functions active. master mode for smb1 is now accessible just by completing expert without the 1cc requirement or even extra stages being finished. there are also marathon modes for each, which while not as wild as the ultimate course from deluxe, still are great additions. stages in both have been rebalanced, with the original layouts being included in a special purchaseable game mode. overall the rebalances were really well done: probably the most notable for me was Arthopod, a stage from smb2 that was complete bullshit originally and has now been made less annoying to deal with by far by removing gaps. virtually all of smb1 master was rebalanced as well, with Stamina Master getting a much-needed nerf to its infamous middle 1x1 moving tile balancing section (which balances out the more difficult first and last sections a bit). the other master changes honestly make some of the stages like Dodge Master and Dance Master trivial, but I don't really mind considering that the requirements for obtaining master are less restrictive now. other changes are more subtle, such as adding curved inlets to the titular launchers in Launchers (which honestly don't help very much) or an extra 30 seconds for the timer in Exam-C (which helps an insane amount).

there's a story mode identical to that of smb2, with truncated cutscenes in mime retelling the lovably bizarre plot of the original. personally I don't mind this change, as the story isn't really that important or complicated. I'm a little puzzled at why they didn't use the expanded worlds of deluxe's story mode, but it's not a big difference either way. as I mentioned prior stages that were changed have their original versions present in a standalone mode, and all of the deluxe-exclusive levels have a mode as well. playing through them all back to back, I have to say I still like them for the most part, as there's a lot of great ideas present (maybe one too many maze stages tho). there are also a few modes that remix the levels. golden banana mode is probably the best of these, where you need to collect every banana in a stage in order to clear it. this actually changes how the stages need to be approached quite a bit. the opposite of this is dark banana mode, where any banana touched instantly causes a game over. while the idea is good in concept, they're designed for a level of precision I just don't think exists in this game. finally there's reverse mode, where certain levels start you at the goal and make you work your way back to the starting point. the best level of these is Free Throw, where they make you throw yourself backwards onto the starting platform in a cool twist. the others mainly just require you to tread the same path as whatever the hardest goal is, so they come across as rather redundant.

minigames are also back in full force, with all of the features from deluxe retained to my knowledge. the big thing that turned me off here was the lack of alternating multiplayer, which even in a patch could be such a trivial addition. I bought this on ps4, where I don't really have extra controllers to work with, and it's frustrating that my roommates and I can't play monkey target or billiards by passing the controller around. overall the minigames seem to be pretty much as I remember them from the old games, with all the customization you could want to boot. I can't really pretend something like monkey race isn't scuffed as fuck, but they were in the originals as well so it's pretty faithful. all that I played other than monkey target look very solid... monkey target is honestly a "Made in Dreams"-ass game here, but it's so annoying in its original form that I'll let it slide here. most of the other games here I can just experience via yakuza or really don't care that much about, beyond perhaps trying to go for completion later down the line.

I also wanted to briefly mention the art design for both the menus and the levels, which are absolutely phenomenal. beyond some UI nitpicks I mentioned earlier I think the interface is very clear and clean, and feels like an accurate translation from the older games to a modern style. the world designs are really gorgeous, and blew me away with their accuracy. I really would not have thought a quickie project for RGG would capture the style and detail of the original worlds so well in HD, but they absolutely nailed it here. the banana blitz-era monkey designs I'm not crazy about but they do the job fine, and the cutesy redesigns of kiryu and beat are so fun; I still can't believe they're in the game!! the music has all been remixed as well, though I personally think they're pretty middling overall. the original soundtracks are legendary so I definitely didn't expect them to live up here, but they really veer into tacky EDM territory more often than I would like.

finally, I wanted to bring up the accessibility options, which are much-needed additions for newer fans looking to try the series out. you can use helper functions in each level to double the timer as well as open up a very useful slow motion mode for the cost of receiving no points upon clearing the level and disabling the extra stages for the course. I messed around with these a bit and I think they do a good job of covering the bases for someone learning a given stage. if stage is too taxing, you can also pay 2000 banana coins to mark it as cleared. which is a hefty toll but honestly worth it when poking around in the special modes to skip annoying levels that would take a lot of practice. finally, the jump from banana blitz has been added in as a purchaseable item, and surprisingly it doesn't void trophies/extra stuff like the helper functions (though it can't be used in ranking mode). when watching trailers I thought I wouldn't touch this at all but I decided to try it out when struggling on Warp and wow did it really save my ass. because the jump wasn't present in the original games, it opens up a lot of ways to break previously challenging level design, and honestly that became the most fun part of the game for me at points. skipping all of the tiring maze levels from smb2 feels so great, and I even managed to pull off a strat equivalent to the speedrun route for Stamina Master by jumping at the peak of the first ramp. it honestly made the final worlds of story mode a lot more enjoyable given how many frustrating and gimmicky levels are contained within it (they were bad in the original too, not just this game). when I eventually get around to smb2 master and master extra, I'm sure I'll have fun finding ways to break levels that originally took me dozens of lives to beat.

I think I've exhaustively covered every aspect of this game that I've played so far... and now that I've finished this giant wall of text I can finally move onto some other games. I don't think I've wasted my time with this game at all, and I'm glad this package exists, but man does it really not scratch that itch that the original games do. perhaps an engine on par with the original simply isn't capable of happening without the original source code available... but at the end of the day I'll still have the original games to return to when I really want to experience monkey ball as it originally felt.

Heard this was dropping today via some videos people keep linking me on Discord. I'm not entirely sure what Capcom is doing randomly dropping a game for my IBM piece of shit, but we'll take a looksie at their latest attempt and only hope it's better than Trojan or Street Fighter. I'm still paying off the hospital bills from breaking my hands playing the latter's torturous pressure-sensitive button layout.

The idea of a "Mega Man" feels like someone who should be a giant among their peers, instead we have a little guy who shoots tennis balls. Adorable. In the meantime, the villain of our story who goes by the name of "Dr. Wily" apparently hangs out in some government-funded army base that requires a toll of some kind to get in. I respect this Mega Person for at the very least taking the fight to corrupt institutes looking to take advantage of their citizens, even if he's still apparently pro-toll booths. Unfortunately, he seems to be having a lot of trouble dealing with Dr. Wily's rogues gallery of wild animals and loosened indoor plumbing. Apparently all it takes to stop Capcom's latest attempt at a lovable character is to simply hire an army of possums to roam about a bathroom in need of maintenance, because Dr. Right was in fact wrong over forgoing the idea of "bendable knees", allowing their weaponized tennis balls to uselessly fly right over some friendly dumpster diving marsupials.

It's not quite as funny as Trojan, but at least it's more playable than Street Fighter even if it lacks the silly attempt at voice acting while the person was eating toffee.

The future's not exactly looking bright for this upstart Capcom company, I like that they're giving struggling programmers a chance with one-person games like this, but it's lookin' pretty bleak I think.

Really cool hack. Lots of really cool ideas and mechanics, along with some really good visuals. Great music choices too! Pretty fair difficulty for the most part, and the QoL additions of being able to just reset puzzles or warp back to the start of a section made it so much more fun. Same with dying, there were some stars in this hack that would have been infuriating if dying booted you out of the level. But no, this hack just warps you back to a checkpoint if you die (with some exceptions, but for the most part).

There were still some kinda frustrating parts, and the usual SM64 physics jank was sometimes annoying, but overall, this hack was a ton of fun!

To anyone who has played Alan Wake II, it is very clear what the moment of the game is, perhaps, the undeniable best moment in a game this year. Up until this point, Alan Wake II has already been an incredibly impressive showcasing of over two decades of Remedy’s work, both technically and narratively. An absolute juggernaut of art direction and writing that is almost completely unprecedented in the video game space, that has shown a true mastery of the cross-media shooters that Remedy has made their definitive image. And it is truly impressive, but if you’ve played the games leading up to this game, almost one question is surely on your mind, which is simply. “When is that moment going to happen, and how is it going to rock my world this time?”

Old Gods of Asgard, or as their real life counterpart Poets of the Fall, have been an instrumental figure in Remedy’s work since Max Payne 2. Their music has played in just about every title, and on almost every occasion it is one of, if not, the highlight of the game. In the original Alan Wake, the band was not just present, but a vital part of the story, personifying the band into an almost parody 80s heavy metal duo, who’s story takes up a good chunk of the game. With the highlight almost certainly being when you take the stage for yourself and take on a hoard of enemies as a truly glorious cheesy metal song blasts away as you shine lights onto a truly ravenous crowd.

In Control, the moment you realize what you’re playing is essentially a sequel to Alan Wake, is the Ashtray Maze. A location that is built up early on in the game, and as you approach the climax, it becomes clear you will have to traverse this bizarre labyrinth. And as the time finally comes to best this maze, a familiar name pops up, completely sucker punches you with the shock, followed by the aftermath of playing one of the best levels in video game history. Control’s strong art direction, using simple tricks to make these impossible brutalist locations, make the Ashtray Maze mesmerizing. A simple repeating texture, yet it feels infinite. It feels larger than life. And its Old Gods of Asgard that is to thank for that, when they come on in a Remedy game, you know something special is going on.

In that regard, like many things, Alan Wake II has much to live up to. How do you pull that same trick again and make it feel fresh? And the answer is very simple, and almost inevitable.

Go the full mile.

The moment you get the option of playing as both protagonists in this game, when you decide to play as Alan Wake again, this moment of the game is ready to greet you. And even before the chapter really starts, you can tell that something is up. There is an almost infectious pride and joy on display here, as talk show host, Mr. Door hypes up Alan Wake and his unique interview he is about to conduct with their house band. You even get to see the creative lead, Sam Lake, do a stupid little dance as they drop on you, “Herald of Darkness: The Story of the Journey of Alan Wake: The Musical”. At this point, you know Remedy is about to drop their classic trick on you, and they’ve not been shy about showcasing it after release, even getting a huge Game Awards showcase showing the music, so I had an idea of what was about to happen. But nothing can prepare you for what follows afterwards.

The Herald of Darkness segment of Alan Wake II is a true masterclass of everything Remedy has led up to this point. Because this is not just an arena or a level set to an Old Gods of Asgard song, no, the song is the level. A four act musical that does indeed, document the life of our titular protagonist, in a way that feels larger than life. The whole level is essentially like a rollercoaster dark ride, using screens to get you further and further into the maze to make the song progress a bit further and further. All these screens use live action footage of the actors, which isn’t uncommon to Remedy, and definitely not in Alan Wake II, which at this point, you’ve seen a truly staggering amount of, but seeing everything on display in this level is something else. Like Control, the trick is simple. It is essentially just a bunch of video files that are being strategically used to craft a narrative. But that simplicity doesn’t take away from that raw feeling of “this is the best thing I’ve ever seen.”

As you progress further and further into the level, it paints a picture of Alan Wake, arguably, the character that Remedy has put the most time and effort into crafting. And I think this portion of the game is honestly essential to really solidifying Alan as a character. While none of what is sung about is new information, a lot of it is information that was never really a particular focal point of the first game. Having bits where you can see Alan’s bizarre childhood nightmares that led to his success as a writer, and having that success turn into frustration and stagnation with his middling writing is incredibly interesting. And seeing it play out in song form with the actors tossing around white powder, and getting increasingly more hostile in the second part, is not just a striking way of getting attention, but it really makes Alan feel more like a legitimate character as in comparison to the first game.

I think a truly striking part of this section of the game, is that for the most part, there isn’t too much in the way of gameplay up until this part; at least in comparison to what you were doing prior. Alan Wake II is a game that isn’t necessarily trying to blow audience’s minds with the gameplay loop like they were in Control, and it works completely fine. Yet in spite of being a relatively simple over the shoulder shooter game, II has a gameplay moment that gave me absolute goosebumps. A moment that solidified that this was not just the best moment of the year, that Alan Wake II was almost certainly the best game of the year, but indeed, a moment that made me realize it might be the best of the decade.

Act III of the song is truly a special moment of the game. A nostalgic remembrance of the first game, but instead of the beautiful Washington countryside, it is instead made up entirely of screens, and props. A beautiful fake memory. And a moment that made me feeling rosy eyed memories of a game I only just played last year; and one I’m not even super crazy about in retrospect. But its that love and detail you can feel the folks at Remedy do have for this title that comes through, and that is what matters. And then the moment happens. Just as you’re remembering everything. You get maybe the best ally you could possibly receive in that moment, the iconic Alan Wake flare gun. And in that moment, the Taken come out, and you absolutely torch them, as the Old Gods rage on to your glorious rampage. It is a moment that you can only dream of creating. It is the perfect blend of build up, satisfaction, character building, and serotonin activation that can only be achieved through pure raw music. It is a titan of game design, and something that could’ve only been crafted through a lot of love, care, and experience.

Of course, this isn’t the end of the song, but at this point, as unfortunate as it is. It is time to wrap the song up. Nothing can last forever. Even Alan Wake agrees to a bossa nova version of the song, to which he does a little jig to. And so, using a new gameplay mechanic of changing the location, through Alan’s writing, you enter a new scene to end the song. A full live action dance number to round off this absolutely incredible level. A moment of pure stupid bliss. Capping off with a confused, but ultimately satisfied Alan Wake, looking on and smiling as he sips a coffee, to this truly bonkers musical number, about how absolutely mediocre his life is. I truly love this level, and just about everyone else who has played this game can back me up. It is truly in a league of its own, and likely will not be replicated again in just about any game.

It feels a bit strange to only write about one moment in a game, presumably one with plenty of memorable moments. And trust me, there are a whole bunch of other scenes and moments I could heep undeniable praise for. But honestly that is the whole game for me. Just about every set piece, every level, every performance, is something as interesting as this, even if it isn’t perhaps as flashy or as overt as this one moment. Alan Wake II isn’t a flawless game, its gameplay is essentially just a more stripped down Resident Evil 2 (2019), and sometimes the pacing isn’t perfect. But I really don’t care. Remedy as a studio has been an endearing and wonderful game studio, not because they make the best polished games, but because they’re constantly making games that are undeniably interesting. Alan Wake II feels like that ultimate melting pot of ideas that they’ve wanted to achieve since the first Alan Wake title, fully realized into a truly special multi-media project. A game that truly promises to cash in on everything that makes the studio one to look out for, and something I’ve been thinking about the entire month as I was playing it. There are times when you know something is special, and this is just one of those undeniable moments.

Here’s to the Champions and Heralds!

i truly loathe this game. it introduces a lot of characters and concepts i want to love, but the direction of the game feels so wrong? it retcons a lot of cool things introduced in aa4, and completely wipes the character development of a lot of key returning characters. they completely massacred apollo!!! many of the cases are boring and it was a brave decision to focus the emotional weight of the story on your new character that you gave zero development & meaningful screen time to. i bought the dlc cases for this game before i played anything and i couldn't even bring myself to play those.