Ngl, I didnt fuck with jumping flash, but maybe I need to give it a second go. Either way I had the idea to do a stupid joke review where I gave the game 0.5 stars and said "Jumping Flash had a rough transition to 3D" mostly as an ironic joke idk

My stupid joke review would be "I need
this bad bitch to embalm me for real"

Mostly a cartoonish satire of american urbanisation and pedestrian hostile policies, kinda shit as a game. The one thing which amused me aside from the insanely murderous drivers was that accessing the "audiobook" app on your ingame phone simply opened the steam browser and opened the librevox (free audiobook page) page for Upton Sinclair's The Jungle and hit play. Which is fucking funny, imo

Pun name aside, I dont really want to review NSFW games idk why. Also its mostly bad/mid. The only thing I wanted to ask, is am I going crazy or is one of the VAs Daisuke Ono? He sounds exactly like K from VLR! He doesnt show up on the credits but another name I looked up wound out being a known alias for a different VA, suggesting that maybe all the names are pseudonyms due to the erotic nature of the work or whatever.

The frustrating thing about Ubisoft is that they are capable of making something unique and interesting but refuse to do so most of the time. Grow Home's physicality is great, its imprecision becomes not frustrating but amusing and even encouraging. It feels like seeing a child take their first clumsy steps into the world, which is not even me reading too much into things, the main character is called M.O.M and all her dialogue is appropriately motherly if sinister, though not in a way that really pays off all that much. Like I think we're the bad guys but nothing much comes of it. The sequel is greatly disappointing, they made it a damn Ubisoft game: proof of the old adage, Less is more, Less is more

"The middest game that ever midded through mid"

"If during development of Blue Shift the PC had exploded and taken out Randy Pitchford, two evils would have been destroyed on that day"

It fucks with me, because I unironically enjoyed the game, its absurd but its the rare comedic game that extends its slapstick to the very movement system being super imprecise and fidgety. I WANT to see someone play this enough to develop speedrun techs because it would probably look fucking insanely cracked. It also makes me mourn the now defunct Game of The Week, I should have been more active in playing them while it lasted.

Deleted review technically, but basically Kaze No Notam is attempting to do something which I am completely repelled by. Its a game about letting go, but I simply cannot do that. I also wonder if the vibe of letting things be as they may conflicts a bit with the goals and strict timers, but then again I didnt get very far in so idk

Also deleted. I should probably issue an apology for that original review, I got way too defensive and hostile for no reason. Anyways, my take on this game is that it has a unique aesthetic which I actually enjoyed, but playing it is just a pretty miserable 7th gen cover shooter. I also find it hard to buy it as a subversion of its genre, intentional or otherwise. Similarly, whilst characters dont have to be likeable, they do have to be interesting and most of my feeling for K&L was that of indifference and occassionally wishing the chinese government would finally kill them. Hopefully they meet a horrible end after the credits