356 Reviews liked by MasterOfPronouns


what has my life come to? what happened to hitman 3 and cold steel 2?

i dont know what came over me to play this but i decided to for some reason. i felt like i was gonna get murdered, the entire thing is a spooky yet funny trainwreck. the controls are awful, the visuals are janky, somehow i ended up kissing the girl and hugging the guy like 30 times before they kicked me out. theres not much else to say. certainly "an experience"

Yeah its all funny haha fun and games until you meet people who talk to each other like this in real life. Facade more prescient than Kojima

My number one most overrated game of all time....is FF2.
FF2 theme plays for two seconds
Ok, seriously people? You are seriously going to call THIS GAME, one of the greatest games of all time?! Alright alright alright...you're telling me you'd rather play FINAL FANTASY 2....then Metal Gear Solid 3? You would rather play....FINAL FANTASY 2....then Skyrim?! You would rather play....FINAL FANTASY 2....then Team Fortress 2 (do you see where I'm going with this)?!
I see this game on DOZENS of "Best Games Ever" lists and it just doesn't deserve it! And before you go all ape on me I am fully aware of the history behind FF2 and how much it impacted the FF’s storytelling, but that's more of it being influential rather then a good game! When was the last time you actively sought out playing FINAL FANTASY 2?
When was the last time you thought "Hmm...I don't think I wanna play Battlefield 3, I think I wanna play some Final Fantasy 2." I bet it was you were waiting in line for something and had nothing else to do. I'm DestroyerOfMid and I'll conceit that Final Fantasy 2 is a fun and challenging game.....but it does not deserve to stand amongst the greatest games of all time!

My mom forbid me to play this game when I was like 12 years old.
I used to think it was because it was violent but nowadays I think it was because it sucks.

Pathologic for people who actually have things going on in their lives instead of watching two hour video essays

one of gaming's all-time great punchlines is how this is, to this day, one of the most technically fraught and unstable games ever made, chugging and stuttering on computers made nearly 20 years after it's release, where the game will, at every loading screen crash and then reload itself in the new area just to keep the memory leak from crashing your whole PC, and then you see the majesty, the sheer ambition of Downtown Seattle that this game struggles so hard to render...is like three rooms where if you look at a lightbulb the framerate is halved. genuine comedy gold.

only other real reason to play this is to witness how The Bush Years hit Deus Ex so hard. any semblance of rebellion or hope from the original's world has been stripped away completely, Alex D is a remorseless gun for hire without any of the charm of JC Denton, well-meaning terrorists like Tracer Tong from the original are suddenly apologetic state actors utterly condemnatory about their past dreams of a world free from the yoke of megacorps and fascism, and where any path not based in the perpetuity of the american empire will lead to the actual destruction of humanity. either With Us or Against Us indeed. the possibility for subversion, either narratively or experientially, is crushed underfoot by this contrition to the status quo and the obscenely narrow level design. as a game about Choice and Consequence and Freedom it's a disaster, but as a game about the lack of those things, about living in Francis Fukuyama's End of History? Invisible War can only be called a tremendous success.

don't know if i would call this a good game, exactly, but it is a deeply fascinating one. i think the ideology it espouses is truly evil but as a game design object I have to recognize the care and attention to which the game goes about communicating it. each deus ex game is a fascinating time capsule of the moment in which it was made, for good and ill, and this one is maybe the most unhinged and weird of them all. would love to give it a full proper replay to pick over it in greater detail but that would require it not crashing my computer every 25 minu-

I NEED to smoke a blunt with this fish

god tier ost. newest death grips sample.

This game destroyed my non-existent enthusiasm for Venezuelan buses.

holy fuck what the fuck this bus is CRAZY dude.

I can't hold back anymore... I can't handle this kind of gaslighting online that has been going on recently full of revisionism and blatant rabid MMO fan shit. Fallout 76 is pure slop to the highest degree. It's an insult to the players time and intelligence. The gameplay is worse than 4 extremely unresponsive and braindead. The quest design boils down to grabbing something and then taking to it another location. Every. Single. Time. Not even the main quests are interesting. The map is insanely goofy for what a fallout game should look like. You're telling me California looks the same in fallout but all of a sudden West Virginia has shit piss and vomit colour scheme forests everywhere? Yes I DESPISE this game. I always have and no the updates didn't fix shit. Now you can talk to extremely bland NPCs with wastelanders who are comically good or comically evilish. They couldn't even make the faction quests interesting like the enclave is just talking to a really lame computer and doing his chores around the map. Guess what? More MMO slop where it needs to make you take up as much time as possible doing multiple super insignificant quests to pad out your playtime and make you artificially feel like you're getting somewhere. No this game ISNT "good now." This game ISNT just blindly hated on. Its just your average MMO fans who wasted hundreds of hours doing absolutely nothing trying to find any reason to justify themselves from doing jack shit.
Yeah this is a super heated review but because this is genuinely everything wrong with a video game. Taking a franchise which already got dummed down with fallout 4 and then turning it into pure slop with an online only MMO. How fun. I wouldn't even hate on it if it wasn't extremely boring from every way you look at it. And no. It's not "fun with friends" either. Fallout is shit and people who unironically defend this game after everything Bethesda has done are the reason why.