Conker’s Bad Fur Day is difficult for me to talk about, only having played it for the very first time 22 years after its initial release. There’s a number of reasons for this. First off, I feel that most people who really, really love this game met one of the following two criteria: they first played it in the 2000’s and/or they were around 13 years old when they did. I don’t mean this as an insult. I, myself found out about it online when I was probably around 13 years old and thought it was very funny at the time. It’s a game that I’ve seen multiple playthroughs of over the years. Over time though, with every playthrough that I watched, I had this ever-growing feeling. No matter how happy the person who played it was, no matter how much they loved the game, I kept having the same thought: this game does not look very fun to play. Even as a platformer fan, I sort of held off on playing this game simply because I didn’t think I would enjoy it very much. However, seeing as I’m playing through Rare’s library with games like Banjo and Yooka, I figure I should probably give this game a shot since it’s also considered a classic. Overall, I’m a little disappointed with it.

Conker is a game that to me, seems to rely heavily on its writing and scenarios rather than the actual gameplay itself. The gameplay is really nothing special. The controls aren’t too bad (minus the last chapter), the whole “Context-Sensitive” system is silly and fun, but I never really found any of it to be satisfying. Most, if not all of the game consists of “Walk to this area. Complete this task 3-5 times. Go to the next area. Complete this task 3-5 times. Go to the next area. Complete this task 3-5 times.” Before you know it, you’re at the end of the game. If you die while performing one of these tasks, your progress on it gets reset. This can get a bit frustrating at times, especially when Conker takes fall damage if he falls from 3 feet and explodes into a bloody pulp if he falls from 6 feet. The Context-Sensitive pads are a refreshing little break from the other tasks, but they never really went wild with them. Additionally, there were times where I was left endlessly wandering because the game seldomly makes it apparent what your next goal is. Regardless, the objectives and gameplay almost feel like an afterthought that takes a backseat to the writing.

As for the writing, it’s the hardest part for me to find appreciation for. I’ve seen the blanket term “offensive humor” thrown around to describe it, but I wouldn’t say that’s the appropriate word. It’s more along the lines of “juvenile” and “vulgar.” Blood, poop, beer, sex, movie references, and swears are the only punchlines. Humor is subjective of course, but for me personally, it’s all stuff that I joked about when I was 13. I don’t really find this sort of humor funny anymore, or at least this much of it crammed into 1 game. Especially since I’ve grown desensitized to it with the rise of the Internet; you can go on Newgrounds right now and find something on the front page that will have the same amount of wit as Conker’s writing. It’s just not for me. I won’t lie though, there were a few parts that made me smile or chuckle. Ultimately though, considering that the gameplay clearly isn’t the main attraction, once you remove the crutch of the humor, this game has nothing to stand on. And if you feel the same way, that this sort of humor isn't for you, then I assure you that you will get nothing out of playing Conker’s Bad Fur Day. You’ll probably have more fun watching someone else play it.

In terms of the positives, I don’t have too much much to elaborate on. I think it’s pretty neat that this was one of the few N64 games with full voice acting. I like the variety and designs of the environments. The music is memorable and catchy. I think a lot of the character designs are well-done and exude the classic Rare cartoon style with even a little bit of Disney thrown in there. The concept of switching genres in the last chapter at a click of a button was sort of neat. I cant help but wonder how this game would’ve turned out if they just went with the initial idea before they got worried that it was too similar to Banjo. Nevertheless, despite how little enjoyment I got out of it, I have respect for it and its spot in Video Game History.

I feel when there's discussion on licensed games, the usual results are either "surprisingly great" or "absolute garbage." A Bug's Life is a movie-tie in game that hangs in the middle of the spectrum, sitting at a comfortable "it's okay." It's a 3D platformer with slight puzzle elements with a few optional collectibles to find. There are a few elements that make it a unique experience, though not one that will stick with you. The story follows the same structure as the movie and even fills in some small gaps that would otherwise be skipped with montages or transitions which I think is a good summation of what this game accomplishes: Flik doing mundane busywork.

In the game, you play as Flik. He controls adequately enough. He attacks his enemies by ground pounding or throwing an infinite supply of berries at them. He also talks literally every 10 seconds and repeats many lines over and over. However, the most interesting ability that Flik possesses is the ability to manipulate seeds. By far the most engaging part of the game is the ability to perform different actions based on what sort of seed types you've collected. Each level has seeds sitting in certain spots. By jumping on a seed, you can plant and grow something, like a mushroom to bounce over a gap or a berry that spews health-pickups. You can pick up and throw away whatever you grow to get the seed back and plant something new. You can find Seed Tokens(?) to upgrade each plant type. Instead of growing a mushroom, you can upgrade to a helicopter plant that launches you much higher, and if need be, you have the ability to go back to the mushroom. Combine this with the very simple ability to lift and relocate most seeds to nearly anywhere and you now have a 3D platformer with a bit of light puzzle solving. You can mix and match different seeds, like using a dandelion with a helicopter seed to make Flik fly to far away platforms. It's not really brain-busting at all, but it's still fun and I could see an indie game being heavily inspired by this mechanic.

Otherwise, all you'll be doing in this game is running to the end. There are 3 medals you can get, but they're all optional. One medal is for collecting all 50 grains in a level. Another medal is for collecting the letters F, L, I, and K, which is the only way to get an extra life. The third medal is for defeating every enemy in the level. Enemies respawn unless they're killed by a golden berry or by Flik's harvester which is found in specific spots. Collecting all 3 medals in a level rewards you with a 10-ish second clip of the movie, if you're into that. There are also some bonus levels that you will probably never find without looking it up; either way, they feel like beta test levels.

In terms of the negatives, there's nothing too egregious really, mainly just standard gripes. The framerate dips quite dramatically if there are a lot of things on the screen, especially particles. A lot of the levels are designed like mazes and I'm not sure if this was intentional or not. Bosses are complete pushovers. There are 1 or 2 levels where when you beat enemies, they drop grains which disappear after 5 seconds, which means you have to restart the level if you're going for 100%. The saving/loading system feels archaic even for 1998 and it is extremely easy to accidentally load your save instead of overwriting it. It's also one of those old games where it's possible to save your progress with 0 lives, which can make it difficult to get anything done if you keep dying and getting thrown back to the main menu with 0 lives again.

That's pretty much all there is to say about the game. It has nice music, some of the environments are pretty, and the gameplay is a notch above "Boring." When all is said and done, it's an okay, inoffensive experience. If you're not going for 100%, you can beat this game in maybe 2 to 3 hours at a casual pace. 100% maybe extends it to like 6 or 7 at a casual pace; easily beatable in an afternoon. If you're a massive 3D platformer fan and you're looking for something - anything to play, maybe give it a shot. Best case scenario, you'll have a fun time. Worst case scenario, you'll be mildly annoyed. This is a game that I played as a kid and as an adult, and my opinion has pretty much stayed the same over the past 20-ish years.

I'm not much of a connoisseur in the ways of edutainment given I only had a handful of edutainment games a kid. Nevertheless, this one was among my favorites, if not my most favorite.

The Zoombinis are silly, peaceful pacifists who live on their very own island. One day, they trust the wrong group of merchants, the Bloats, who swindle them out of their own home and quite literally enslave them. The Zoombinis make a break for it, but to make it less conspicuous, decide to travel in small groups at a time. The Zoombinis make it to the main land, where it's up to you to escort them through the dangerous locales and dens of strange creatures you'll encounter along the way.

Like the title suggests, this game is a test of your logical skills. This includes process of elimination, pattern recognition, and planning ahead. Many of the puzzles are linked to the physical attributes of the Zoombinis themselves, which you can customize at the start. To make it difficult to cheese, you're only allowed to make 2 of the same exact Zoombinis. Throughout the adventure, should you fail a puzzle too many times, you'll start to lose Zoombinis one at a time. As a result, there's very little room for brute forcing. Not to worry though, as they only return to the previous checkpoint, with 3 checkpoints in total including the start. In total, there are 400 Zoombinis to save. You can only take 16 Zoombinis at a time with you, and you cannot continue from a checkpoint if you have any less. Saving every few batches of 16 increases the difficulty of the game. Despite being marketed towards children, make no mistake: these puzzles can get hard towards the end, even for adults. Even so, there's a small but highly varied selection of puzzles. You play them in the same order, though there's a split in the middle of the map. If you keep taking the same path, those puzzles get harder each time you play. Should a puzzle be too difficult for you, there's a practice mode and you also have the ability to leave Zoombinis at a checkpoint and go back to the start to get a new batch instead.

The world of the Zoombinis is appealing and calm. There isn't much in terms of music, but I assume it's to help you focus. Music is there, albeit subdued. It tends to be chill with a hint of charisma to match the feeling of pushing forth into unexplored territory. The visuals are well-drawn and have a bit of a story book feeling to them. The NPCs you encounter are wacky and charming, and not to mention quotable. Anyone who has played this will never forget Arno the Pizza Troll, who desperately wants a pizza but refuses to tell you what he wants on it. The hardships and challenges of the Zoombinis are narrated by an eccentric narrator who really wants to see the poor things make it to the legendary Zoombiniville.

It might not be the best edutainment game, but it's certainly among the best. It definitely accomplishes everything it sets out to do. If you have a hard time tracking down the original version, there's a remake on Steam that updates the visuals and touches nothing else. Both visual styles have their extremely miniscule ups and downs, but I think I prefer the original solely for nostalgia. Either way, I highly recommend this game if you're ever going through a 90's edutainment spree.

Do not get tricked by into playing this just because it has "swag" in the title.

Swagman is a game that would be passable if it came out on SNES. Even so, this would not save it from being unremarkable, as your time would be better spent on similar games like Zombies Ate My Neighbors or Ghoul Patrol. Coming out in 1997 when the market had things like Crash Bandicoot 2, Final Fantasy VII, and Symphony of the Night, Swagman pales in comparison. It’s a 2D overhead puzzle platformer where you control 2 children trying to save their town from Swagman, the video game equivalent of Freddy Krueger. Overall, it’s inoffensive, primarily just boring and monotonous.

The primary reason I abandoned Swagman is because one of my biggest pet peeves in all video games is ever-present in this title: when it comes to deaths and game overs, this game does not respect your time.

When you die in Swagman, the screen slowly fades to black, then fades to a game over screen with Swagman’s face. You have 10 seconds to press the start button to continue. Should you not continue, you get sent to the main menu where you have to reload your last save. If you decide to continue, the game has to reload the area you were in which takes a few seconds. From there, it respawns you at the beginning of the room before the room you died in. When you’re at the start of the game, it’s not so bad because the rooms are pretty small. Once you get further into the game, it becomes so irritating. The rooms are much bigger and last longer. Puzzles you’ve already completed must be solved again. Any complicated platforming segments must be completed again. Any important items or consumables you’re running low on must be collected again. To get to each boss, you have to build a bridge by watching a cutscene that takes a while. Every time you die to a boss, you must watch this cutscene again. Maybe this doesn’t sound too terrible, but to top it all off, the game respawns you with the amount of health you had when you entered the previous room. If you entered a room with 1 health and cant find any HP pickups, you just have to hope you won’t die again. In a game that’s littered with rooms full of unkillable enemies and insta-death pits, you are doomed to see the game over screen again and again and again. You can chalk it up to skill issues, but I promise a boring game like this with a terrible checkpoint system is not worth the time or effort.

Crash Bash is a very interesting game to say the least. Much like how I can only assume Crash Team Racing was Sony’s answer to Mario Kart, I assume Crash Bash was Sony’s answer to Mario Party. Only this time, Crash Bash takes the approach of ditching the party boards altogether and instead offers a marathon of minigames and even provides a co-op story mode to tie them together. On paper, this sounds… okay I suppose. In practice, I feel the execution could have been much, much better. Many other IPs at the time tried to get a piece of that Mario Party Pie and quite frankly, I can’t really recall any that stood out for good reasons. Crash Bash, at least in my eyes, falls victim to this.

Crash Bash is a game that consists of a few minigame types: Battle Arenas, 4-Way Pong, Pogo Rallies, Racing, Polar Bear Battles, Tank Shootouts, and Medieval Games. With the exception of Medieval Games, each minigame type has 4 iterations, with the first one being the most basic while the next 3 introduce new mechanics or hazards to add a bit of variety. 4-Way Pong for example, features 4 players in hover cars, each one protecting their own goal. Each player has a shield burst that deflects balls away from their goal if their car is just barely too far away to deflect them like a paddle. In the iteration “Beach Ball,” the players have these abilities plus the ability to magnetize balls to the front of their car and shoot them at high speeds to the player parallel to them. Most of these minigames have some sort of core mechanics which then are expanded when a new mechanic is added.

Now, you can play all of these minigames in versus mode to your heart’s content. The problem is that since there are so few minigame types, it doesn’t take much time until you feel like you’ve been playing the same minigames over and over, despite the new mechanics introduced in each iteration. You probably won’t want to play them for very long, so it feels like you aren’t getting much out of the game. To feel like you are getting your money’s worth, you’ll want to switch your attention over to the story mode, as they offer a few more options for ways of playing these minigames. But beware: you are about to enter an All-You-Can-Eat buffet consisting of 7 unremarkable foods.

In the story mode, there are 5 floors, with each floor having roughly 5 minigames and a boss stage. You can tackle the minigames in any order, but you must complete them all to access the boss and finally move onto the next floor. These bosses require a certain amount of collectibles to unlock. The primary collectible is Trophies, all of which are required to progress. To win a Trophy, you must win a minigame 3 times, which already doesn’t sound too great. This means if the CPU wins 2 times, you have to play the same minigame up to 5 times in a row before getting a Trophy, and that’s on the assumption that you won. If the CPUs win 3 times, the counters reset to 0 and you must try again to win 3 times. These minigames can take a few minutes, meaning you’re going to be stuck on the same game for quite some time if you’re losing. However, this is just for the Trophy; you’re going to have to play that minigame a few more times for the other collectibles. The Gem is the next collectible, in which you must win the minigame with some sort of restriction. Whether it’s a strict time limit, starting with half your HP, or starting from a higher point “debt” than your opponent where you have to gain points to work off, you thankfully only have to win these once. However, these restrictions can be brutal sometimes and you’ll find yourself retrying over and over. But you’re not done yet because you also need to amass a collection of Crystals, the third collectible. Crystals introduce some sort of twist or hazard that only affects \you\ and not your enemies. These tend to be a bit easier, but some of them can be mind-numbingly difficult. With all of these collectibles, you will be able to make your way to the final boss. Hold your horses though, because to unlock every minigame Crash Bash has to offer, you have to collect Gold Relics. Gold Relics are earned by winning against each minigame’s champions (basically, aggressive AI) two times \in a row.\ After that, you unlock the opportunity to collect the Platinum Relics, in which you need to win against even more aggressive AI \three times in a row\. As far as I remember, you do not need Relics to reach the final boss. However, that means in order to fully clear a minigame in Crash Bash’s story mode, you need to play it 10 times at \minimum\. Essentially, you have to play the same core minigame 40 times. You cannot do this all at once though, as Gems and Crystals become available after you get the Trophy and Relics become available after you beat the final boss. Bear in mind, this is all in a game where the CPUs’ skills can range anywhere from extremely stupid to “Seemingly Calculates Your Every Move” on a moment’s notice. The only saving grace in this campaign are the boss fights, which still use core minigame mechanics, but change it up enough to where it actually feels very different.

None of this even begins to account for the fact that not all the characters are created equal. There are a total of 8 characters to choose from, with every 2 characters being “pairs” that control similarly and have similar stats. There are the Bandicoots: Crash and Coco, the Scientists: Cortex and Brio, the Mutants: Dingodile and Rilla Roo, and the… Jocks(?): Tiny Tiger and Koala Kong. Arguably, the Mutants are the worst, as they’re capable of attacking in rapid succession (see: 2 times), but their attack power tends to be low and their range is is pretty bad. The Bandicoots are well-rounded, but compared to the next 2 classes, are clearly not the best choice. The Scientists have attacks that move very quickly, have a long range, and do a moderate amount of damage. Objectively, the best class is the Jocks, with very powerful attacks that move at a moderate pace. If you’re playing story mode, the 2 obviously correct choices are Tiny and Koala Kong, especially as this ensures you will never have to fight against them. Adding depth to the character selection like this is a cool idea, but it only works if your characters are truly balanced.

At the end of it all, I think the younger you are, the more you’ll enjoy Crash Bash, especially if you have friends or family to play it with. Once you get older, you’ll start to see the cracks in its design and begin to realize why Mario Party tends to work better. I almost feel bad making so many comparisons to Mario Party, because while I do feel like they were very much copying Nintendo’s homework, I appreciate that they tried to put their own spin on it. In a way, these games feel like entirely different beasts. However, the design choices Crash Bash went along with may have ended up doing more harm than good.

Mario Party has a wide selection of varied minigames that you only have to complete once, so it takes a \long\ time to get burnt out on them. There are also different minigame structures, such as 2v2, 1v1, 1v3, or even solo minigames. Because of the absence of boards and stars, there are hardly any stakes. You aren’t going to be forming alliances or picking targets within the interest of winning it all because Crash Bash has no overarching winner. In fact, the only stake Crash Bash has going for it is the fact that it’s a gigantic time sink. When you lose, you don’t lose any of your collectibles, you lose your time and after a while, it becomes a slog – a chore in which you have to clean out each minigame of its collectibles. Do it right and win or do it wrong and do it again. Rinse and repeat. Mario Party also has a very clearly defined end: just play 10-ish turns and it’s over, making it very easy to jump in and jump out at a gathering. Crash Bash goes until you beat the final boss, until you collect everything there is to collect, or until you just can’t stomach it anymore. You absolutely do not want to do Crash Bash in one sitting, which makes it amazing to me that people are willing to speedrun this game. While I still do like Crash Bash a little bit, if you put a gun to my head and told me to get a world record speedrun in this game, I would just tell you to pull the trigger.

Pikmin 4 is a game which exemplifies why people tend to put a certain trust in Nintendo even when they aren’t exactly the most consumer-friendly company: you can usually bet that their mainline games are expertly crafted, tightly designed, and polished to a shine. On a technical level, Pikmin 4 shines very brightly: there are no major glitches or hiccups I ran into, the gameplay is solid and stays fun throughout its length, it introduces a few fun concepts and game modes to the series, it brings back a lot of highly requested elements from Pikmin 1 and 2, and it comes with tons of small yet warmly welcomed quality of life improvements. It is by no means a bad game. However, there is a bit of a problem that many people may have: Pikmin 4 is a game that is very clearly designed to be everybody’s first Pikmin game. In some aspects, it is desperately afraid to let go of your hand. Whether or not that is a good or bad thing somewhat depends on where you stand in terms of familiarity with the series. If you are new to Pikmin and/or have always been put off by the difficulty or overarching time limit that it’s known for, this game is a fantastic entry point for you and you will probably have a great time. If you’re more of a veteran and prefer the brutal and sometimes horrifying nature of Pikmin 1 and 2, you may find yourself disappointed. However, that does not mean Pikmin 4 is a lost cause for you. Even though this game is much easier compared to its predecessors, many of the new tools introduced in this game are optional and let you make the experience a bit more challenging. I could see a lot of cool challenges emerging from this game over time.

Pikmin 4 features an astounding array of tools, all of which are geared to making the game easier and generally user-friendly. The coolest part about them though is that most of them are optional. Newcomers can use all of these tools to ensure that their experience goes as smoothly as it can. Veterans on the other hand can choose to not use these tools at all, allowing them to make their experience a bit on the tougher side. Even when it comes to things like purchased upgrades, the player has the option to turn them off at any point. There are things like a drone that lets you scope out areas before you go ahead, a satellite that calls Pikmin to your current position, consumable items that stun enemies, and so much more. There’s even a rewind button that lets you rewind 2 minutes and even earlier so you don’t have to suffer losing tons of Pikmin in a single second, but again, it’s all completely optional. Then you have aspects like Oatchi, and while he is definitely overpowered, you still have the ability to choose when you want to use him aside from level design. If you want to send in Oatchi to clear out a room of enemies before your Pikmin enter, you’re free to do that. If you’d rather barge in and throw yourself into the chaos, you’re also free to do that. If you want to, you can use Ice Pikmin to freeze and shatter enemies, but you can also just not do that. The majority of the game is flexible and is designed to work around either play style and I think that’s pretty cool.

However, despite whatever options you choose, the overall skill ceiling has been reduced; it doesn’t quite feel like everything is conspiring to work against you like they were in Pikmin 1 and 2. Creatures in Pikmin 4 don’t really take “cheap shots” like dropping bombs from the ceiling out of no where. While there are many choices you can take advantage of, there are several core aspects that you have no control over. Many of these aspects are great for new players, but hardcore players may still find themselves a bit annoyed as a result. To list a few, the majority of the enemies in the game are from previous entries, so if you are familiar with how they act, you’ll already know how to defeat them with no issues. The Pikmin AI has been improved significantly, which means there will be far less moments where you say “what the hell are you guys DOING???” when your Pikmin start doing things you didn’t want them to. There is an auto-lock on feature which is extremely aggressive and some people find to be a bit intrusive. There’s also a throwing cap, meaning if you encounter an item that requires 10 Pikmin to carry it, you can spam the Throw button and the game will automatically stop throwing Pikmin once you reach 10. It sounds silly to point these things out as “bad” because they’re genuinely great improvements. But the people who enjoyed the original games do have a good point: the concept of attempting to control the inherent chaos of nature is a really cool idea for a game and Pikmin 4 sort of downplays this idea this time around. Personally, none of these things bothered me at all, but I can see how they could put off some people who were looking for something tougher.

Personally, my biggest problem with this game is the NPCs. There are sooo many NPCs and they constantly stop you to point out the obvious. They become so annoying that I begin to tune them out. I no longer care about what they’re saying. I'm no longer interested in learning anything about them. I no longer care about their backstories, I just want them to be quiet. I’m a big believer of “show, don’t tell,” but Pikmin 4 so, so badly wants to show AND tell you about every single little thing you encounter. Thankfully you can skip cutscenes and interactions and you will not miss a single bit of crucial information. But to have them constantly stopping you and saying “Hey did you see that Leafling? You saw him right? He challenged you do a Dandori battle and jumped down the hole! You saw that, right? You gotta jump down the hole too! Win that Dandori battle!” I know. I saw. I get it. Plus, I think having having an entire community of characters by the end of the game sort of detracts from the atmosphere Pikmin is known for. None of it feels as lonely, mysterious, or threatening when there’s a collection of NPCs are constantly telling you how you should be feeling in the moment. It’s like a big flashlight has been shined over the Pikmin series and they don’t want evoke feelings of uneasy or dread, or at least no where as much as they used to.

The remaining issues I had with this game are somewhat minor. First off, I don’t really like the 3 Pikmin type limit. It made exploring the day time levels feel shallow, especially as the game tells you exactly what Pikmin types you’ll need. It feels more appropriate to do this with caves, as they’re shorter, can serve more as puzzles or challenges, and you’re stuck with the Pikmin you bring in. I feel the daytime levels should have more opportunities to go back to your base, exchange Pikmin types, and do something else with another type, but you really never need to. All other Pikmin types can be completely ignored, since the levels are fully designed around the 3 suggested types. Another aspect I’m somewhat disappointed with is the music. Make no mistake, there was a lot of attention given to music this time around, as certain enemies get their own instruments once you get close. There’s also tons and tons of callbacks to themes from the previous games. Outside of cutscenes, I get what they were going for, keeping it peaceful and minimalist when all is fine, but getting hectic when an enemy attacks. However, I almost feel it’s too minimalist this time around, as I can barely notice the music anymore until I get into a scuffle. Additionally, designing your own captain is really cool, but they’re essentially a blank slate throughout the entire game. I would prefer playing as any of the previous protagonists. Last thing I can think of is that I don’t really care for the night missions. It’s just NPCs constantly screaming at you while you beat up enemies for 5 minutes. I personally didn’t get much out of them.

Another gripe I had with this game is that it constantly screams “Dandori” at you, but you really don’t get as many opportunities to flex your organizational skills as you do in Pikmin 3. The levels seem to be solely designed around Oatchi’s navigational abilities alone. Rather than having entire sections dedicated to your Captain or Oatchi, they’re constantly mixing obstacles that only one character can clear. For example, you want to collect a treasure, you have to hop up a step with Oatchi. You get to the top and – oh! There’s grate that only the captain can cross. It’s not like this 100% of the time, but most of the levels are designed this way. You’ll find that the game rarely wants you to separate from Oatchi. Given that the characters have slightly different abilities, you really can’t plan to have each character be on the other side of the map performing different objectives. This is because both sides of the map will have inevitably something that only the other character can do. It’s just more efficient to stick together the whole time and it feels a little disappointing in that regard when Pikmin 3 gave you so much freedom to truly practice Dandori at any moment.

Despite my complaints, I had a wonderful time with Pikmin 4 and I believe it was worth the wait. It’s a great big mix of what worked in previous games in addition to quite a few new elements. Although it introduced a lot of complications with the lore, it still manages to show they put in a lot of love and care by giving you encyclopedias full of flavor text for every single thing you collect and every creature you encounter. It’s also a bit longer than what it may look like at first glance, including a lengthy side-mission that will keep you busy for a little while longer. If you’re on the fence about getting it, I think you’ll enjoy it and I greatly recommend it if you don’t mind how easy it is. Here’s hoping we get Pikmin 5 before 2040.

A Crash Bandicoot clone stripped down to nearly the bare minimum. It’s not abysmally terrible, but rather just flat-out boring. All the levels feel the same, all the bosses are the same, all the chase sequences replace Crash Bandicoot’s boulders with one of the film’s antagonists (also one of them being a random prison alien???), and it just stops introducing new mechanics pretty early in. The controls also feel stiff and your attacks will often get caught on enemy hitboxes. Some platforming sections feel bad because they expect you to jump in rapid succession but there's a sizable delay between landing and being allowed to jump again. It almost feels like the developers were given references for the locations and the characters (I bet they were given this exact frame of Lilo), but absolutely nothing for the plot. I’ve played a few Lilo & Stitch games in the past and while none of them are particularly great, this one is probably the worst. At the very least, you can 100% it in about 2 hours. I wish I could write more, but there really is just nothing else to say about this one.

A simple 3D Metroidvania that is definitely worth the asking price, Pseudoregalia is a game that focuses heavily on the movement. Once you reach a certain point, you’re able to perform a whole assortment of acrobatic tricks in rapid succession to quickly get you to where you want to go. Despite a few small learning hurdles, the movement is awesome and it feels great to make Sybil dart around the castle. There’s tons of opportunities to sequence break and sometimes you’re rewarded for it while other times you get stuck. There’s an option to teleport you back to your most recent save point if you get stuck though, so it all works out. Once you get good enough, you can even travel both ways through some points that I assume are supposed to be one-way shortcuts. Plus, once you get the long jump ability, you can even b-hop to keep the momentum it gives you. There’s just so many little neat and interesting things you can pull off from the moveset you’re given and it all feels wonderful.

Aside from the movement, I really enjoy the atmosphere of this game. It seems to be going for that somewhat eerie, lonely, and (fittingly) almost dream-like feeling you get in N64 or PS1 games that have a relatively low draw distance. It also goes for the same general low-poly, low-res aesthetic of the era and I think it does a nice job. The OST is nice with a few memorable tracks here and there (Twilight Theater rules them all though). There isn’t too much of a story, but I assume it’s like that on purpose. There are little interesting tidbits here and there and I’m sure they mean something, but I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be up to interpretation or if it means something specific. Given that nearly everything in the game seems to be vague and ambiguous in nature, I’m going with the former. Sybil herself is a mystery; it’s never explained who she is, what her goals are, and nobody even knows what sort of animal she’s supposed to be. All anyone knows is that she's very tough, very tall, very fluffy, and very much doesn't wear pants.

In its current state though, you’re going to have to be okay with getting lost because as of now, there’s no map in the game (Edit: a map has been added!). I sort of enjoy getting lost in Metroidvanias to a degree, so I was actually pretty okay with it. I imagine if you’re bad with directions, you’ll probably get frustrated very easily. For the most part, I think most of the rooms have weird enough setups or landmarks that you can sort of feel your way around, but the keyword being most, definitely not all. It really only became an issue for me in the Underbelly section. At the very least, all the main areas are very distinct from each other, as you’ll find yourself exploring a dungeon, a large foyer, a main hall, a few courtyards, a library that may double as a farm, a dark sprawling cave, a lofty theater, and a lone tower. You can easily tell which one you're in just by looking at the color schemes of the floors and walls.

As for the combat, I feel like it’s missing something, but I’m not sure what. I like the concept of having to fight enemies to regain healing mana, I like the idea of losing your sword when a large enemy does a huge sweeping attack, I like the idea of being able to reflect the vast majority of projectiles if you swing the sword at just the right time. But overall, enemies just don’t feel very satisfying to fight. If I can figure out what it is and articulate it, I’d like to update this section because I want to give actual feedback than just say “not satisfied, idk!”

Edit: After thinking it over, I think it's primarily the lack of boss fights. There are a few enemies you'll see in the game; some wander around aimlessly while some actively attack. Overall they're pretty easy to defeat. However, it never really gives much opportunity to use Sybil's extensive moveset in combat or push it to its limits. I'm not too let down by it, since I know bosses take a while to design, test, and implement and all that, but it would be cool to have some challenging boss fights in the future. The final boss certainly gives you a good taste of what could be.

Overall, I’d say this is a fantastic little indie game, especially for the asking price. With a few tweaks and additions, I feel it could be even greater. Considering this is already the expanded version of a game jam project, I’m not exactly sure if the developer wants to further expand upon this idea, but I hope they do as long as they enjoy making it.

Jumping Flash is apparently the father of 3D platformers when it comes to home video game consoles. With a title like that, you might expect a dated, clunky mess of a game. Surprisingly, this isn’t the case. Jumping Flash nails the genre almost perfectly, which is impressive considering it’s also a first-person 3D platformer. The short levels combined with the simple controls make for an enjoyable experience that will make you want to complete the game in one sitting.

In Jumping Flash, you play as a big robotic rabbit aptly named Robbit and your objective is to collect 4 carrot-shaped rockets and deliver them to the goal. Robbit can triple jump, with the first jump being fairly small and the last 2 being extremely powerful. He also comes equipped with with laser turrets that you can use to fire at enemies. There are 6 worlds in total, with each world having 3 levels, with the third level being a boss. The nearly non-existent story is about an evil scientist named Baron Aloha picking off large chunks of the planet to use them as his own vacation resorts. Robbit has to travel to each giant robot responsible for taking 3 planetary chunks and take out the boss in charge.

Jumping Flash is one of those games where the entertainment value comes from its simplicity, almost to a fault. The game gives you 10 minutes per level, but each level is bite-sized and will only take you a few minutes. There’s also a very low difficulty bar; pretty much anyone can pick this game up and beat the main story in maybe 2-3 hours. However, that’s where the fun can come in. The game is so simple and so easy that it doesn’t stay a game about completion for very long; it becomes a game about score and time, in which case the developers put in a Time Attack mode so you can play a level as many times as you want to improve your times.

Despite it being very simple, there’s a bit more depth to it than what I just explained. For starters, each map is littered with power ups Robbit can use. Some of them include passive abilities, like freezing time, invincibility, extending the time limit, and more. Others include mostly party-themed explosives such as fireworks, Roman candles, ground spinners, and a handful more. You can carry 3 at a time and you can even bring them between levels if you don’t die. You can also obtain them from defeating enemies. Additionally, being a rabbit, Robbit can also jump on enemies. The amount of damage you do on impact depends on how high the arc of your jump is. You can insta-kill most enemies with the height of a triple jump or make a huge dent in a boss’ health bar by doing this. In fact, you can finish the entire game without firing a single shot just by using the jump. There are also lots of flying enemies who hover over bottomless pits, so once you master the controls, you can use them as platforms to areas that might otherwise take you a while to reach. Each world also has 1 hidden bonus level where you have to pop all the balloons in a mini stage within a time limit. Once you learn and understand how all of these mechanics work together, that's when you can start optimizing your times, and to me, that's when the real fun begins.

The overall presentation is very charming. The in-game models are very low poly but cute with a wide variety of silly creatures to encounter (like the popular green kiwi). The sound design is delightful, with lots of satisfying little blips. bloops, and other sounds as you dart across each stage. While I don’t find the music to be too memorable, the soundtrack is pleasant and fits each area quite nicely. The level design on the other hand is very memorable and offers a lot of variety. Most levels are wide-open, flat planes while others are more linear or maze-like. In terms of controls, they are a bit slow and awkward, but considering how early of a 3D game this is (and the fact that Robbit is kind of a big tank), I find it forgivable. Additionally, once you complete the main story, you’re given a deluxe story mode. It’s nothing mind-blowing; it's the same story but the levels are harder. More enemies, different enemies, shuffled starting and ending points, less time for completion, and so on.

Overall, Jumping Flash is a very charming little game for the PS1 and I wish Sony would port it to PC and put it on Steam or something. I don’t really have any experience speedrunning games, but if you were ever looking for a good entry-level game, I would easily recommend Jumping Flash. Even if you’re not into speedrunning and you want to take a glimpse at video games that broke new ground, Jumping Flash will not disappoint. I highly recommend playing this game with RetroAchievements, as it gives you incentive to do crazy tricks and push this game and your skills to their limits.

This game is weird. Even though Pitfall is something Activision tries to bring back every once in a while, this one still feels like it came out of left field. It’s especially strange because it’s admittedly pretty good. The Lost Expedition is a 3D Metroidvania that takes place in a jungle with deep caverns, snowy mountains, ancient temples, and more. There’s a wide variety of tools you receive throughout the game and tons of useful collectibles to find for upgrades. The best part about it is arguably the movement. Harry’s animations are snappy, silly, and cartoonish. Combined with responsive controls, the animations make Harry feel smooth as butter to control. I don’t find the music very catchy or memorable, but it compliments the environments and actions really well. In terms of the design and gameplay, I think it aged pretty well.

The absolute worst things about this game are the writing and scenarios. The writing itself is pretty generic; I can barely even remember the plot. The primary issues are the sexism and racism. Pitfall Harry is a creep to women at almost every opportunity he can get. The ending culminates in Harry being the Prophetic White Guy Savior to the ancient civilization of El Dorado. Additionally, you’re going to be spending the majority of the game brutally beating animals and natives to death as they try to defend themselves. As a kid, I didn’t really think twice, but as an adult, it’s kind of awkward to kill them and just look at their lifeless bodies on the ground. I think an apt summary of this game is the penguin enemy you’ll encounter in the icy mountain areas. Each penguin has a nest that they leave very briefly to slide and lunge at you. If you destroy the egg in the nest while the penguin is gone, the penguin will start crying and it will no longer attack you. This game has all sorts of great attention to detail like this, but it feels wrong in lots of places.

An irritatingly slow point-and-click game that would've been an impressive Flash game on something like Cartoonetwork.com or Nick.com in 2000. You can complete it in about 10 minutes if you know what you're doing. How this released on PS1 in 2004 is a mystery to me, especially because it's even worse than the movie-based game that came out a year prior. Looking at NewKidCo's track record, this was the last console game they made before going out of business in 2005.

Some people may chalk it up to "it's a game for kids," but trust me. I had this as a kid and I hated it then, too.

Super Mario Bros Wonder is a much-needed step up from the New Super Mario Bros titles. Overall, it makes some great changes and introduces many cool and lovable aspects that I hope become series staples in the future. However, as I read these reviews, I get the feeling I didn’t enjoy it as much as most people do. I can’t help but feel this game plays it a bit too safe in some areas. Wonder would’ve been mind-blowing if we got it in place of New Super Mario Bros 2. or New Super Mario Bros. U, so I’m sort of left with a feeling of “yeah this is where we should’ve been like 10 years ago.” Either way, I’m glad we made it here eventually, at the very least.

Starting with the positives, the most noticeable changes are the visual style and details. Mario’s world remains as bright and colorful as ever, but Wonder finally manages to have a style completely separate from NSMB. Even though many of the traditional environmental themes are used, they mixed up a lot of the color schemes to really freshen things up and create new visual aesthetics that will hopefully bleed into spinoffs and future entries. And of course, there are the characters, each one being super cartoony, expressive, and having a wide variety of poses, even for the smallest actions. Speaking of, I really liked the array of characters they had this time around. I sort of wish you could be Yoshi or Nabbit without it being easy mode, but it’s not the end of the world. Plus, I think it’s nice they managed to have more than one playable girl character for once. I also like all of the new enemies, lots of goofy new faces are always welcomed in my book. Some enemies are as expressive as the main characters, if not more. I remember in a snow level, a Goomba fell into a small space between 2 blocks. Rather than mindlessly walk back and forth in a 1x1 space, he just gave up, sat down, and looked straight at the camera with a miserable expression. I loved it. Wonder is just full to the brim of little details like that.

As for Mario and Luigi’s new voice actor, Kevin Afghani, I think he sounded pretty good! I’ll be happy to hear more from him in the future. As for the talking flowers, I didn’t find them as annoying as other people did, but I can see how they can get grating pretty quickly.

One of my most favorite bits was the online interaction system. I assumed I wouldn't care for it all that much, but it brings so much to the table. It’s fun to be thrown in with a group of random players as you tread new ground together and help each other out. Helping someone through a tough section and spamming the little smile icon at each other is such a nice feeling. Silently agreeing to cooperate and take turns at trying a difficult section is hilarious. Putting down a standee in one level and seeing tons of notifications that people are using it like 10 minutes later is satisfying. Plus it’s all optional too, so if you feel it makes everything too easy or if it’s too invasive, you can turn it off with no issues. Overall, it’s just a delightful little system that I had a great time with.

With Wonder Flowers, I’m a bit mixed. They’re definitely fun the first time around, but I can’t see myself replaying most of those segments if I already got the seed from them. It’s really cool that they came up with so many ideas, and even cooler that you only see a small portion of them reused only once. Though there’s just something about them that feels like a novelty that will wear off soon. Additionally, I’m also a bit mixed on the Badges. They have some fun ideas going on, but I’m literally never going to switch off of the Parachute Cap badge. The only time I will is when the game clearly expects me to use another badge to get a big purple coin.

In terms of the difficulty, it’s extremely easy the whole way through minus some of the special levels. I’m not too harsh on that though, because I assume this game is for kids first and adults second. I imagine designing modern, linear difficulty for both demographics is a nightmare. Generally, the levels are a lot shorter as well, which I assume also plays a role in the low difficulty ceiling.

In the music department, I have to say I’m a little disappointed. Mario games are usually chock full of awesome, memorable tunes. While this one had a handful of stellar tracks, the vast majority of them were fairly forgettable.

My biggest complaint with this game are the bosses. Bowser Jr. being the boss of every castle is really lame and I’d argue it’s even more boring than bringing back the Koopalings again. The airship bosses being replaced with 10 second factory sections was also a bit of a letdown. And ultimately, the final boss had a generally cool presentation, but it didn’t really feel as “grand” as previous entries. It almost feels silly to complain about this, as I feel nobody really plays Mario Bros for the bosses, but for a game that seems like it’s trying to think outside the box, they really, really missed the mark with bosses.

At the end of the day, it’s exactly what you’d expect from the next evolution of Super Mario Bros. It’s colorful, creative, and well-polished all throughout. I was hoping for it to push the boundaries a bit more, but it’s still a wonderful little game.

Honestly I’m not much of a Zelda guy. I’ve tried a few games in the series here and there and ultimately came to the conclusion that the series is just not for me. However, I find that I’m pretty good at telling if I’ll like a game just by watching a few minutes of footage. For the past few years, I would watch Vinny Vinesauce do his traditional Thanksgiving Zelda II playthrough and every year, I found the gameplay pretty interesting. This year I finally gave it a shot.

In the end, I kind of liked it! It’s kinda-sorta-somewhat like a Metroidvania? I like the side-scrolling approach, I like the transition to the overworld, I like the level-up system, and I mostly like the combat. Frankly, everything I don’t like about this game can be chalked up to Classic NES Bullshit. I don’t really care for cryptic solutions and I think the temples could use maps. Those are things I’d have no issues with if some of the enemies weren’t annoying as hell to fight, though. Generally the game is slow paced, so being killed or falling into a pit and losing tons of progress gets annoying quickly. I played this on Switch, so I used the rewind feature quite liberally, but it does take away a little satisfaction in the end. I know there are some hacks that make this game easier in some aspects, so I’ll probably check those out at some point. But yeah, this might be my favorite Zelda game, weirdly enough. Zelda II definitely has something going on that'd like to see more of.

Hamtaro: Ham-Ham Heartbreak is the bar that licensed children’s games should aim to clear. It’s nothing too crazy or mind-boggling, but it’s Hamtaro; it doesn’t really have to be. Instead, you’re treated to a nice little Hamtaro-themed romp on your GBA. If you’re a fan of the series or just anything cute in general, it gets the job done pretty nicely and I think you’ll be satisfied throughout. Absolute worst case scenario, you might be the tiniest bit bored or frustrated. Either way, this game seems confident in knowing exactly what it wants to be and manages to maintain a consistent quality throughout.

In Ham-Ham Heartbreak, you play as Hamtaro and (kind of) Bijou. A devious little hamster named Spat has been traveling throughout the land and causing squabbles between the closest of friends, lovers, siblings, and more; ruining their relationships. An angelic hamster named Harmony calls upon Hamtaro and Bijou to stop Spat and help the feuding pairs make amends. Unfortunately for Hamtaro, he accidentally spills water all over his Ham-Chat dictionary from the previous game, Ham-Hams Unite. As a result, he is no longer hip with the latest Ham-Ham lingo, meaning he has no idea how to communicate certain words or actions to his fellow hamsters.

The game serves as a simple point-and-click adventure where you have to fetch objects or solve puzzles at the requests of multiple hamster NPCs. The only issue is that without his dictionary, Hamtaro doesn’t know how to speak or interact with the environment or other characters. While most point-and-click games have a small collection of commands such as Examine, Speak, Interact, and so on, Ham-Ham Heartbreak has a massive array of interactions, having about 90 in total. This may sound daunting, but each object or NPC you interact with only contains a small amount of actions to choose from, depending on the context of where they are. If you exhaust all the available actions and don’t quite get anywhere with them, it means you most likely don’t have the one you need yet. Actions can be obtained by completing quests, in which case a hamster will share a Ham-Chat that you’ll be able to utilize later. Throughout the adventure, there are also a few minigames to play and collectibles to find. You can buy little outfit pieces to put on Hamtaro in a photo studio and you can gather gemstones for no particular reason outside of vague education.

The presentation is where Ham-Ham Heartbreak really shines. It’s one of the nicest looking games on the GBA, as you can tell a lot of care and effort when into the spritework of the characters and environments. Speaking of, Hamtaro and Bijou steal the show with their sprites and animations, especially the Ham-Chat actions. Each one is goofy and super expressive. Even if you have to watch them perform the same action 100 times, the animations never get old. The music is decent for the most part; admittedly the loops are fairly short so some tracks can get a little grating after a while. All your favorite Ham-Hams from the TV show are present and they look great, though they aren’t used too often. The dialog is also very silly, lighthearted, and remains on-par with the show. Once the credits roll and you realize that this adventure is published by Nintendo, it begins to make sense as to why this game has so much charm.

My only real complaint is that some puzzle solutions can be very obtuse. There may be parts where you’ll want to bust out a guide for the simplest solutions because the answer isn’t as intuitive as it should be. Shoutouts to KirbyRockz and their GameFAQs walkthrough from May 2004. A minor complaint is repetition; like I don’t feel it’s necessary to make Hamtaro sniff for sunflower seeds when they’re sitting right in front of him. There are lots of small things in the game like that.

At the end of it all, it’s just a fun little adventure that doesn’t demand much from you. As said, if you’re a Hamtaro fan, you’ll probably enjoy it quite a bit. If you aren’t a fan, I think you’ll still have a decent time.