It was 2010. It wasn't my 3rd birthday, and I didn't know this game existed.
Now it's 2023 and I know it does exist. The simpler times are long gone and while no cakes were harmed or birthdays were ruined during the making of this game and the writing of this review (but certainly could be if you gifted this to someone for their birthday), this was overall pretty bad.

To begin with the positives, I like the music and the graphics (compared to most things on the PSP) are among the handheld's best. That's pretty much it.

The story is weird and not in a good way. From what I could gather, you don't need to play Parasite Eve 1 and 2 to understand it, but nevertheless, it's confusing and paced like a Rick and Morty episode. It's all over the place and you never get a good explanation for much of it until the very end of the game.
You can read stuff concerning characters before the beginning of a mission (or as they're called in-game - episode), but it feels lazy that they went with this route rather than incorporating it into the gameplay and cutscenes.

The body switching mechanic (called Overdive) is a cool idea, but everything surrounding it brings it down. Beyond giving the AI orders to focus on one target, you can't really tell them what to do, so a lot of strategy and depth which would've benefitted the game is not there. The friendly AI itself kinda stands there and just shoots. It's not well designed and you have to really try to go out of your way to keep it alive.

The worst thing, however, are the controls. At times they make Shaq Fu look like a masterpiece. There's a clunkiness to them that makes you feel like you're walking on a wet floor. The camera doesn't help, and oftentimes adds to that feeling. At least they added an auto-aim for most weapons, which is nice. Be prepared for a lot of frustration even with that, as enemies even on normal difficulty don't show much mercy and can quickly kill you, on top of also being bullet sponges.

The game would've been fine on the gameplay side of things if it was initially designed for PC/PS3/XBOX360. The PSP was a bad choice for this type of shooter. Considering the first two games of the series, it would've been best if this was an RPG like them.
The story, preferably, also needs an overhaul.
The 3rd Birthday, more like The 3rd Disappointment, am I right? :P
Yeah, in its current state, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

The game is pretty simplistic in a lot of its areas, but the way it's structured and paced makes it satisfying to play.

A king made a terrible decision and now you, a divine angel, are sent by someone simply known as the "Master" to restore things to how they once were. As you traverse dungeons and defeat enemies, you restore a particular location to its previous state, one thing at a time. The protagonist is silent and the story itself can be boiled down to a simple tale of good vs evil. Despite this, seeing the world slowly rebuild, and interacting with each denizen you restored felt pretty cool.

The top-down hack 'n slash combat (which if you've played a 2D Zelda game will feel pretty familiar) isn't exactly deep and the magic system felt somewhat weird and awkward to land, but learning the enemy and boss patterns and how to beat them felt pretty satisfying regardless.
There was very little grinding, enemies in dungeons (with small exceptions) didn't respawn upon reentering and the game is generous with shortcuts, drastically reducing the amount of backtracking.
It's a breath of fresh air, making this, at least for me, one of the more accessible games for the SNES.

Since it came out early in the SNES' lifespan, the graphics aren't anything to write home about, but there is a nice variety of visuals in each area.

The music is good and captures the feeling of each area pretty well, while simultaneously being catchy. Although, it's a bit of a shame there aren't that many tracks.

A few small nitpicks that I have is that hit boxes can be a little weird at times, and there's no way to skip or change the speed of the in-game text, which is somewhat annoying.

Overall, the game has an interesting concept and a fun gameplay loop, although its simplicity might make it boring for some people. Worth trying if you're a fan of early 90s ARPGs.

It feels a bit weird to say this is the first Persona game I've both played and finished. Despite some improvements in this version, the game definitely shows its age. The random encounter rate is incredibly high, you'll spend quite some time grinding before certain bosses and dungeons get more maze-like as the game progresses (not to mention having to backtrack in some instances), so you'll need a lot of patience to get through certain parts.
With that said, there are nice things here as well.

The graphics feel pretty rough, but I was a fan of the overall darker feel they went with.
The PS1's OST fits the darker feel of the game better, although the PSP's tracks were good and have a more modern Persona feel to them.
On the flip side, the PSP's translation seems to be better than the PS1 version.

The story focuses on a group of high schoolers and the mysterious events that occur in their town.
The game has 2 distinct routes and each route has a good and bad ending.
Without spoiling too much, my impression was that the main theme of the game was "discovering your true self" and as the game progresses, you'll see each character change quite a bit. I overall enjoyed the cast, their interactions with each other, and their growth.

The battle system felt like it was on the more simplistic side, but was fun regardless.
Guns, with small exceptions, felt much more powerful than melee weapons.
The grid system was an interesting addition. It encouraged experimentation while also adding a bit of depth. Unfortunately, the game didn't feel that difficult, so the system didn't feel as impactful as it could've been.
There's an auto-battle and animation skip option which helped alleviate a part of the annoyance of the high encounter rates.

The negotiating system initially felt cryptic and tough to grasp, although, with a fair amount of trial and error, can be figured out. It's necessary to get cards and fuse them to get powerful Personas, so keep that in mind and look up a guide if you can't figure out how to negotiate with certain enemies.
The place you craft these Personas - The Velvet Room is where a majority of this game's depth is created.
There are a lot of possible fusions, and with an individual party member being able to wield 3 Personas, it's always preferable to experiment and see what combinations give the best skills rather than settle for just one Persona per character.

Certain things which people heavily associated with the series are not present here. Among them are flashy effects and animations, as well as social links.
Town exploration is also pretty much non-existent and you'll spend a vast majority of the game dungeon crawling instead.

Overall, despite its flaws, it's a good game with a cool story and a lot of soul. I can see why it spawned a successful series, but its archaic design choices (like the increasingly confusing dungeon layouts) are pretty evident, making it tough to recommend.

It has a cool concept along with some interesting ideas, but their implementation was done in a subpar way, leaving much to be desired and made the game feel pretty mediocre.

You "technically" don't have a pause menu, an inventory, and an equipment system. When you press start, it sends you to a place called "The Sanctuary", which is where you can do these things, with the addition of stuff like fast travelling and buying some upgrades like increased melee, magic and gun damage. You have to teleport to a separate room where you have to run around for a bit at times in the search for a certain upgrade for the weapons, along with other things you may be interested in.
It's cool the first few times, but it makes what should be a simple process unnecessary monotonous and long. Sticking to a much simpler equipment, inventory, and upgrade system wouldn't have resulted in the game losing anything and made it much more appealing.

Combat felt ok at best. You have your melee weapon, gun and a few magics you unlock over time.
Enemies mostly felt like something you had to go through rather than an engaging part of the game. The encounters were pretty easy and most of them felt like they could be beaten through button mashing with occasional blocking.
If you find yourself overwhelmed, you can just stall a battle by running around since you don't have a health bar and could just wait for your health to regenerate.

The concept of gaining people's support towards reaching your ultimate goal sounds cool in concept, but the quests you have to do (for the most part) to achieve that are rather boring. Not to mention there don't seem to even be save files, so if you feel like you want to go back and try something different, you can't.
And without spoiling too much, the game takes a sharp turn in the 2nd half which made it feel like it was developed without a unified vision in mind.

Overall, the game tries to be original, but it doesn't work out well. Had less time been spent on trying to implement unique systems where they weren't needed and that effort was invested in other areas, they could've made a much better game.

A solid, not that hard (excluding some stuff like the time-trial tower which would've worked much better as a side quest), and light-hearted in themes and tone metroidvania.

The pixelated graphics are good and the music is pretty good as well.
The plot is what it is and you won't lose much by ignoring it. Some of the dialogue can be amusing to read though.

The overall gameplay is fast-paced and fun. I liked the boss battles and the different magics you had at your disposal.
Unfortunately, at times, I felt like the game was on the more cryptic side, and not giving you the best hints at where you should go, ultimately leaving you to figure it out on your own. Makes me wish they made it somewhat more linear. Luckily, as you unlock more teleport waypoints, the backtracking you do becomes more tolerable.

Potions were way too cheap for how much health and magic they restored. The game can really become a cakewalk if you abuse that too often.
I'm getting nitpicky here, but I also wish you could select which save file to save your progress on together with there just being more of them in general. 3 is a little low.

The game is pretty short. Took me 6 hours to beat, so if you're gonna play this, I recommend getting it while it's on sale.

Despite its shortcomings, I enjoyed my time with the game and I'm looking forward to playing the other games in the series.

Like a lot of beam 'em up games, it gets repetitive by the end, but it was alright for the 3.5 hours it lasted, making this pretty much a masterpiece when compared to the original Shaq Fu.
Graphics were alright.
Gameplay is your standard beat 'em up, but with multiple checkpoints per level and no limited lives.
Hit detection felt at times a little off and it was a bit annoying to lose a weapon shortly after moving past a checkpoint.
While transforming into a mech and a cactus was cool, having a lot of enemies thrown at you just to mash buttons and defeat them shortly afterwards wasn't the best implementation for this mechanic.
The ability to go back to any stage or checkpoint is nice, but the lack of any form of co-op is really unfortunate.
The story is what it is. It's a ridiculous premise just like the original and a large part of it includes stuff which will make you mute the audio.

Incredibly gory, violent, has a cool aesthetic and presentation, but is dragged down by technical issues and a combat system that doesn't have too much depth.

The game, even on a lower difficulty can keep you on your toes and present a challenge. Brute forcing your way through encounters doesn't work well. You'll have to quickly learn how to dodge properly, otherwise you'll find yourself dying pretty often. Add to this load times that are on the longer side, which additionally encourage you not to die as often.
I found upgrading health, light and heavy attacks to be your best first investment.

The story was fine for what it was. You won't lose much by not paying attention to it.

The combat is more spectacle than depth and I found it fun for the first half of the game, but after that it became a little monotonous. Enemies having a lot more HP than they needed to contributed to that as well.
The platforming and 2D sections can be hit or miss. In the first half of the game, they're both fun and frustrating, while in the second, they felt more like filler.

The biggest issue is that this game just lacks polish. It doesn't seem to be properly optimized and there's always a small amount of lag that doesn't go away. The camera angles can be a little awkward at times. As mentioned previously, loading times are quite long as well.

The 3 classic Splatterhouse games are included as unlockables, which is a nice addition.

Despite its flaws, the game has a certain charm to it and it could've been great had it not been for its technical issues and rather basic combat system.

This was the most beautiful, touching, philosophically complicated, and oh, I got to tell you, it was perfect. Perfect. Down to the last minute details game I have ever played.

One might look at the title, play it and think it's so simple to grasp what this game symbolizes, yet cunning linguists along with appreciators of ancient philosophy know such trivialities lead to nowhere.
The word desert here does not mean a place with sand which is coarse, rough, irritating, and it gets everywhere, but "desert" as in abandon.

Now, abandoning the game is easy enough, but something must be judged by its in-universe rules and not be influenced by external factors which inevitably lead to a warped view.
You cannot abandon the game from within the game. You gotta play. You can't even pause the game. You honk the horn instead. And what is the result of that resilience to pull through?

8 hours for just one point. Seems like a bad deal, yet such is the nature of a gamer.
We're a group of people who will sit for hours, days, even weeks on end performing some of the hardest, most mentally demanding tasks. Over, and over, and over for nothing more than a little digital token saying we did.

When you turn the number 8 on the side, it becomes infinity. An ingenious move which shows the game technically has no end, yet not apparent to a player, who plays it for the first time thinking they'll get a natural conclusion out of it instead.

Truly one of the games of all time, yet I still feel there is much left to grasp, so I'll humbly give it a 0,5/5. Not from the game itself, but from how much there is still left to discover, making what I wrote not giving it the justice it deserves.

Quake 4, which was made in the same engine that was used for Doom 3, and considered the black sheep of the series, is a bit of a weird entry in the Quake franchise to say the least.

Visuals haven't aged gracefully, but that's ok. I like the overall aesthetic they went with, even if it might get a little monotonous at times. At least the atmosphere picked up in the last 5 levels.

The gameplay pace isn't as fast as the previous entries, but it doesn't feel bad and the gunplay is good. It also gets a little bit better in the second half.
It's different from its predecessors and far more akin to what you'd call a "modern shooter", so that may turn off some people.

Level design is fine, enemy and weapon variety is fine as well. You'll periodically get your weapons upgraded, which is nice.
Only 2 weapons have a flashlight option, which was a little annoying, since a big chunk of the game is spent in the dark and you'll also have to fight enemies there, kinda forcing you to use those 2 weapons.

The story takes place shortly after Quake 2 and is ok for what it is. It boils down to "Aliens are bad and we gotta destroy the bad aliens". You won't miss too much by not paying attention to it.
Nothing really stood out, but there's nothing really bad either.
The game took me a little under 9 hours to beat and I found it to be a bit more enjoyable when split into 2-3 hour sessions.

I guess the worst thing I can say about this game is that the final boss felt underwhelming and it lacks memorability in comparison to the previous entries of the series.

It's decent, but I didn't enjoy it as much as the first game.
The story is pretty basic and you won't miss much by not paying attention to it.
The pace is relatively quick, but not as quick as the first game, which is a bit of a shame.
Weapon variety is pretty good, but enemy variety was pretty shallow and made it feel like the game dragged on in places.
The biggest frustration that I had and what at moments made me consider abandoning the game was enemy placement. There are so many instances of enemies attacking you from behind or surprising you because they were placed to the left or right of the room you were just entering. It makes it really difficult to properly respond in those instances and it forces you to reset a lot. I get the game wanting to keep you on your toes, but this felt more annoying than engaging and dragged the game down severely.

As abominable as it is mysterious, yet somehow simultaneously interesting as well, Little Red Hood exists in a plane of existence, which is easy to describe, yet makes one wonder what the developers were thinking while developing.
Little Red Hood herself can't attack, despite the game cover making you think otherwise. There's a dog under a rock you could find which attacks, but it acts on its own, so it's simultaneously a little useful, but also not really.
Then there's the slingshot which you can throw (yes, you actually throw the slingshot) 3-4 times before it runs out and you have to buy another one. Better not buy it, since the enemies respawn very often anyway. Just great...
The Big Bad Wolf? Nah, randomized stairs that appear together with a dreadful choice of colours is the biggest nemesis you'll have.
It's actually kind of incredible how much thought in the wrong things was put into this game.