The game feels like it was made to be writer's first amateur eroge but midway into making everyone told them they're making a console stage brawler

and as such there's no quality control over the performance nor the fucking game as you redo every single stage like 4 times with same exact repetitive minibosses

that final boss fight was something else tho.

If a game can make you want to physically harm the person who thought up the idea, yet still drive you to total completion, it's a good game to me. There's just something about this game. Surface level this game is bad that's just it. But there's something so innately human that's entrenched and engraved into my very being that this game puts on full display, it just gives it to you raw (Octa would appreciate that). Finding peace in a lawless world, righting your wrongs, making way with what you're dealt. The very things that make humanity and why it matters. This is one of the worst games I have ever played and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Hey did you know that Fallout 3 never came out? No, not the bad one everyone ignores in favour of NV, I mean the original Fallout 3 - Van Buren, the one that barely anybody is even aware of these days.

Van Buren is something of a fascination of mine. In the wake of Fallout 3’s awfulness way back in 2008, I spent ages poring over the design documents and every scrap of information I could find. Stillborn though it was, seemingly most of the game’s documents had leaked online which provided a robust treasure trove of knowledge.

But alas, they who gain knowledge gain sorrow as well. In plumbing the depths of Van Buren, my feelings of discontent towards Fallout only grew. Try as I might, I couldn’t manifest the revival of Van Buren or Good Fallout Games.

I remember the day I saw that first New Vegas teaser. Watching cold and stone-faced, disinterested and bored. Oh, a robot? Another robot? I killed thousands of robots in 3. I’m sick of robots-

And right there, at that very moment in the memory, young me lay eyes on it: The flag of the New California Republic.

“Could it be?” Thought young Mira. “Van Buren… revived?”

The introductory cutscene only increased the hype. NCR out in full force, the Great Khans having returned for a third time running, Caesar’s Legion in all their rancid glory, Hoover Dam… To say nothing of the reveal that many ex-Fallout 1/2/Van Buren were involved, Josh Sawyer among them.

The day New Vegas came into my life was wondrous. I skipped out on everything to go home and play it for 4-5 days straight.

And… It wasn’t what I wanted! I didn’t hate it, but I did come away feeling lost. I did not get it, nor could I, for I was simply too young. Young Mira wanted Van Buren, which she was [forgive me] """promised""" and felt a bit odd, having a game that seemed to be stuck in Van Buren's shadow but wasn't Van Buren.

Dead Money kinda came and went for younger me. Loved the atmosphere and the inclusion of an honest-to-god BAR but I was again far too young to get anything from it. I was one of those preternaturally annoying chucklefucks that thinks getting all the gold out of the vault "defeats the message".

But both NV and Dead Money were 14 years ago, I've had some time to think. About them, the other DLCs, and about Fallout as a whole.

The ghost of Dead Money hangs over NV, lurking in the corners. Father Elijah’s influence is felt as early as stepping into Helios One, to say nothing of how much his old fellows despise him. Whether the player discovers it or not, they’re traipsing on foundations that Elijah helped lay. That the NCR literally wear the carcasses of the Brotherhood troops they killed only adds to his mystique. Posters for Dean Domino are everywhere, visual white noise that most people pay no mind to. Among them, posters and graffiti alluding to the Sierra Madre as a mystical place where people leave their hearts behind. Dig further into the story and you’ll stumble across the Brotherhood, who spend half of their screen time cursing Elijah for digging their grave and not even having the courtesy to lay in it with them.

As it turns out, though, Elijah has his own grave to dig.

Dead Money isn’t very alluring on the surface. It trades a sprawling Wasteland, impressive locations and factions with distinct aesthetics for a muddy poison-soaked hellhole that’s only barely lit up and is near-exclusively populated by homogenous creeps in gas masks. Add in lots of backtracking, skill checks and fakeouts that explicitly punish
Not to mention the framing. A miserable old dick slaps a bomb collar on your neck and tells you to go rescue three “companions” - insofar as potentially dead weight can be a compatriot.

Everything about Dead Money screams Survival Horror. Shooting isn’t an option half the time and even when it is, ammo isn’t quite as plentiful in the Sierra Madre. There’s a fair share of backtracking and oftentimes the best way to resolve fights is to not get into them. New Vegas gets a bit power fantasy towards the middle-end of the game unless one plays on Hardcore Mode with the difficulty bumped up, and Dead Money immediately throws a wrench into this by stripping you of basically everything. Indeed, the Sierra Madre and its surroundings even call to mind some of the CG art made for Resident Evil: Survivor.

Dead Money isn’t what I’d call a ‘fun’ DLC. Even at its most gripping I can see why most people consider it a snoozefest even if I personally don’t. It’s much slower, more introspective and three times as morose as the other story-focused DLC (Lonesome Road), all while being far less overt with its narrative despite the endless repetition of its four key words: Let Go, Begin Again.

It isn’t immediately obvious how these words apply to Dog/God. Elijah is obsessed with the Sierra Madre, Dean is obsessed with fucking over the centuries-dead Frederick Sinclair, and Christine wants revenge on Elijah. The tragic Nightkin is an outlier at first, and in the intervening years since this game came out I’ve seen even fellow Dead Money enjoyers scratch their heads and declare them an outlier.
What struck me about Dog/God on this replay is how they have more in common than they don’t. Much attention is drawn to Dog’s voracious appetite and bottomless hunger, yes, but God’s fanatical need to control at every given moment is the same kind of gluttony in all but name.
But, relevant to the overarching theme, the most striking part about them is that there’s not really “two halves of a whole” within them so much as they are fragments inhabiting one body. Both of them, in their own way, voraciously pursue their desires while also trying to exert control over the other.
What they have to ‘let go’ of is themselves.
Which is, in all sincerity, deeply resonant. An annoying part of getting old and bothering with that self-improvement nonsense is that you’ll almost certainly come across parts of The Self that’ve accrued some crust over the ages. Beliefs you don’t really hold onto, anger that’s long since lost its target, endless little idiosyncrasies that add up into an odd little rusted automaton in the shape of you. Letting go of that is a bothersome process, albeit a necessary one.
The debatably-best ending for Dog/God is convincing them to let go of their respective Selves and simply embrace the end result. Take hold of the idiosyncrasies and accept them not as “two halves of a whole” but as different shades of the whole. Rather surprising to see such a gentle, loving treatment of DID from a game where - 30 minutes prior to starting this DLC - I got Cass’ infamous Long Dick Johnson line.

But you know what? Let’s skip the 4 protagonists of Dead Money and go back to the 5th: Me.

I think, at some point, everyone who’s young and adores a particular piece of art will inevitably conceptualize something perfect: Their perfect sequel, their perfect adaptation, their perfect spinoff, etc etc.
I’m not going to pretend I was any different, and pertinent to the topic at hand I’d long since had an idea in my head of “The Perfect Fallout”. Indeed, my earliest discontent towards New Vegas stemmed from the fact that it wasn’t that ideal. It was a more introspective and debatably experimental title that was still Fallout but not the Fallout I wanted.

Fortunately, I’ve grown out of those behaviours and have become vastly more accepting of flawed works. Indeed, the search for flawless art is at odds with the nature of art as a reflection of humanity - a uniquely flawed species of mammal.

In returning to Dead Money in 2024, in a post-Fallout 4 and post-Fallout TV world, truthfully I don’t even see the text on display.

I see a group of 4 people who’re maniacally obsessed with a perfect ideal to the point of self-ruination. They won’t accept anything less than what their mind’s eye sees, no matter how blind that eye is to the real world in front of them.

I see Fallout fans like my younger self, still clinging to the hopes that one day they’ll get the perfect flawless Fallout title.

And in this, I’ve come to appreciate the ending a lot more.

It may seem trite or overbearing to have your reward for a 4-5 hour puzzle gauntlet be some gold bars that you have to forsake, but on a meta level I appreciate it.

You can’t take all the gold bars with you without exploits or cheats. You have to make a choice: Be content with less, for at least you have something, or leave empty-handed. What was once stupid to younger Mira now feels profound, and for once I felt content to simply leave the gold untouched and settle for my spoils (Namely, the Automatic Rifle) before locking Elijah in the Vault.

I got the perfect ending this time. Told all the companions to just bail and move on with their lives, in much the same way I have to tell people in real life to ditch stupid vendettas/feuds and focus on the things in front of them. It was cathartic this time in a way it hasn’t been before - maybe I have gotten old.

To cap off the metaphor, though: Dead Money lands a lot better now that I’m content with New Vegas and am apathetic to any future Fallout entries. I’ve got my ideal Fallout game, even if it took some time for me to come around to it. Bethesda can turn the series into a playground all it wants; that’s that, and this is this.

Really, the hardest part of being a Fallout fan isn’t liking the games that are, it’s letting go of the games that co- Too on the nose? Sorry, please don’t throw tomatoes. Let me begin again- FUCK.

the community tanking this game's reputation by suggesting that everyone play a version that makes the level and encounter design infinitely worse makes me so upset. surpasses the original in every way for me personally, whether that's in the world, bosses, or even characters you meet along your journey. please don't fucking play scholar though that shit made me hate this game for the longest time. and also just because miyazaki wasn't the director doesn't mean the game is automatically bad lol, souls doesnt start and end with him in the director's chair as the end all be all, and dark souls 2 is proof of that.

The more I play Fortnite, the more of a slog it feels. That is mainly in due part to how long it takes to level up the battle pass. This new season didn't help freshen things up. Sure the vehicle mods are cool and it offers a new gameplay approach, but I don't like them very much. I always liked the gunplay and fast octane movement of Fortnite and hated the building. That's why I only play Zero Build. Last season with the God & Avatar items were perfect. The cars completely take away that.

Another thing is that I mostly play solo. Of course, as with any multiplayer game, it is most fun when you are playing with your friends. That holds true with Fortnite, but with the cars, it's mandatory to play with someone else. The cars with their turrets are the meta right now. On solo, you need to switch back and forth between the driver and turret seat. As such, there's always an opportunity for some rando to hop in the car with you, making for some weird and awkward interactions.